{ "data": { "id": 2, "title": "Alan Attraction", "slug": "episode-2-alan-attraction", "episode_number": 2, "episode_code": "S01E02", "overview": "The socially inept Alan Partridge has been staying at the Linton Travel Tavern for ten weeks, has failed to get a second series and is days away from bankruptcy. Meanwhile, he has fallen in love.", "description": "As Alan hasn't got a second series he faces a difficult choice: get a smaller car or make everyone at Pear Tree Productions redundant. He has a date with Jill so it's time for a visit to the local Owl Sanctuary.", "first_aired": "1997-11-10T00:00:00.000Z", "intro_image_url": null, "series": { "id": 1, "title": "I'm Alan Partridge: Series 1", "slug": "series-1", "series_number": 1, "series_code": "S01", "programme": { "id": 1, "title": "I'm Alan Partridge", "slug": "im-alan-partridge", "links": { "self": "https://alanpartridgescripts.co.uk/api/v1/programmes/im-alan-partridge" } }, "links": { "self": "https://alanpartridgescripts.co.uk/api/v1/series/im-alan-partridge/series-1", "web": "https://alanpartridgescripts.co.uk/im-alan-partridge/series-1" } }, "scenes": [ { "id": 22, "title": "It's Valentine's Day, and Alan plays a tribute to Lynn and talks about Al Capone", "order_in_episode": 1, "image_url": null, "lines": [ { "id": 316, "line_number": 1, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": "to his listeners", "text": "Hmmm, a nice big thick slice, of Thin Lizzy! That was for my tireless PA, Lynn, 50, who is as diligent and hard-working a creature as ever graced this world we call… Earth. It's 4:39 AM. Time to run yourself a big bath, it's Chris Rea!", "dialogue": "Hmmm, a nice big thick slice, of Thin Lizzy! That was for my tireless PA, Lynn, 50, who is as diligent and hard-working a creature as ever graced this world we call… Earth. It's 4:39 AM. Time to run yourself a big bath, it's Chris Rea!" }, { "id": 317, "line_number": 2, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "OK! There will be no telephone Cluedo today because of the threat of a court injunction from the makers of Cluedo! It's 6:58 AM.", "dialogue": "OK! There will be no telephone Cluedo today because of the threat of a court injunction from the makers of Cluedo! It's 6:58 AM." }, { "id": 318, "line_number": 3, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "That kissing sound isn't someone kissing me, or kissing a cock. It's simply… a cockerel, I mean. It's simply a way of saying it's Valentine's Day! A day upon which Mr Al Capone ruined a romantic night out for many diners by massacring them. Died of syphilis he did. So err, there is some justice. Anyway, time for me now to hand over to a man who will hopefully not be massacring anyone this evening, or indeed killing them with syphilis. It's _[Alan's best French accent]_ monsieur David Clifton.", "dialogue": "That kissing sound isn't someone kissing me, or kissing a cock. It's simply… a cockerel, I mean. It's simply a way of saying it's Valentine's Day! A day upon which Mr Al Capone ruined a romantic night out for many diners by massacring them. Died of syphilis he did. So err, there is some justice. Anyway, time for me now to hand over to a man who will hopefully not be massacring anyone this evening, or indeed killing them with syphilis. It's [Alan's best French accent] monsieur David Clifton." }, { "id": 319, "line_number": 4, "character": { "id": 4, "first_name": "Dave", "last_name": "Clifton", "full_name": "Dave Clifton" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Ahh! Bonjour monsieur Par-tridge! Comment allez vous, monsieur?", "dialogue": "Ahh! Bonjour monsieur Par-tridge! Comment allez vous, monsieur?" }, { "id": 320, "line_number": 5, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Yeah, well, whatever. Did you get any valentines cards this morning?", "dialogue": "Yeah, well, whatever. Did you get any valentines cards this morning?" }, { "id": 321, "line_number": 6, "character": { "id": 4, "first_name": "Dave", "last_name": "Clifton", "full_name": "Dave Clifton" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Actually Alan, I have to say, I came down this morning and I couldn't open my door.", "dialogue": "Actually Alan, I have to say, I came down this morning and I couldn't open my door." }, { "id": 322, "line_number": 7, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Lose your key?", "dialogue": "Lose your key?" }, { "id": 323, "line_number": 8, "character": { "id": 4, "first_name": "Dave", "last_name": "Clifton", "full_name": "Dave Clifton" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "I couldn't open my door, because I'd lost my key.", "dialogue": "I couldn't open my door, because I'd lost my key." }, { "id": 324, "line_number": 9, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Yeah, well, I did just say that. Anyway, Chocolate Oranges…", "dialogue": "Yeah, well, I did just say that. Anyway, Chocolate Oranges…" }, { "id": 325, "line_number": 10, "character": { "id": 4, "first_name": "Dave", "last_name": "Clifton", "full_name": "Dave Clifton" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Ok, it's 7AM, and we've got a good show lined up for you this morning…", "dialogue": "Ok, it's 7AM, and we've got a good show lined up for you this morning…" }, { "id": 326, "line_number": 11, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Do you like chocolate?", "dialogue": "Do you like chocolate?" }, { "id": 327, "line_number": 12, "character": { "id": 4, "first_name": "Dave", "last_name": "Clifton", "full_name": "Dave Clifton" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Pardon?", "dialogue": "Pardon?" }, { "id": 328, "line_number": 13, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Do you like chocolate?", "dialogue": "Do you like chocolate?" }, { "id": 329, "line_number": 14, "character": { "id": 4, "first_name": "Dave", "last_name": "Clifton", "full_name": "Dave Clifton" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Yeah, love it!", "dialogue": "Yeah, love it!" }, { "id": 330, "line_number": 15, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "I've really got to say this, Dave…", "dialogue": "I've really got to say this, Dave…" }, { "id": 331, "line_number": 16, "character": { "id": 4, "first_name": "Dave", "last_name": "Clifton", "full_name": "Dave Clifton" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Yeah?", "dialogue": "Yeah?" }, { "id": 332, "line_number": 17, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Erm, Chocolate Oranges are available from Rawlinson's. That's all.", "dialogue": "Erm, Chocolate Oranges are available from Rawlinson's. That's all." }, { "id": 333, "line_number": 18, "character": { "id": 4, "first_name": "Dave", "last_name": "Clifton", "full_name": "Dave Clifton" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Oh, yeah. It's 7AM, and first of all, we've got China Crisis.", "dialogue": "Oh, yeah. It's 7AM, and first of all, we've got China Crisis." } ] }, { "id": 23, "title": "Alan arrives at the hotel reception after his stint at the early morning show", "order_in_episode": 2, "image_url": null, "lines": [ { "id": 334, "line_number": 1, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Morning.", "dialogue": "Morning." }, { "id": 335, "line_number": 2, "character": { "id": 7, "first_name": "Ben", "last_name": "Swain", "full_name": "Ben Swain" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "All right.", "dialogue": "All right." }, { "id": 336, "line_number": 3, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Sorry?", "dialogue": "Sorry?" }, { "id": 337, "line_number": 4, "character": { "id": 7, "first_name": "Ben", "last_name": "Swain", "full_name": "Ben Swain" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Good morning.", "dialogue": "Good morning." }, { "id": 338, "line_number": 5, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "That's the one.", "dialogue": "That's the one." }, { "id": 339, "line_number": 6, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": "to Susan", "text": "Susan, is he new?", "dialogue": "Susan, is he new?" }, { "id": 340, "line_number": 7, "character": { "id": 5, "first_name": "Susan", "last_name": "Foster", "full_name": "Susan Foster" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Yes, he started yesterday.", "dialogue": "Yes, he started yesterday." }, { "id": 341, "line_number": 8, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "He just said \"Good morning\" with his back to me.", "dialogue": "He just said \"Good morning\" with his back to me." }, { "id": 342, "line_number": 9, "character": { "id": 5, "first_name": "Susan", "last_name": "Foster", "full_name": "Susan Foster" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "He's OK!", "dialogue": "He's OK!" }, { "id": 343, "line_number": 10, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "No, it's just I've never seen that done before!", "dialogue": "No, it's just I've never seen that done before!" }, { "id": 344, "line_number": 11, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Anyway, happy Valentine's Day, how are you?", "dialogue": "Anyway, happy Valentine's Day, how are you?" }, { "id": 345, "line_number": 12, "character": { "id": 5, "first_name": "Susan", "last_name": "Foster", "full_name": "Susan Foster" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Oh I'm a bit tired. I need my beauty sleep.", "dialogue": "Oh I'm a bit tired. I need my beauty sleep." }, { "id": 346, "line_number": 13, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "You don't need beauty sleep. Well, forty winks. Did you get the chocolate orange?", "dialogue": "You don't need beauty sleep. Well, forty winks. Did you get the chocolate orange?" }, { "id": 347, "line_number": 14, "character": { "id": 5, "first_name": "Susan", "last_name": "Foster", "full_name": "Susan Foster" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Yes, thank you.", "dialogue": "Yes, thank you." }, { "id": 348, "line_number": 15, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Good. You might find some superficial damage to the box, but the chocolate is perfectly edible. I give them to all ladies I know aged fifty and under. Over fifty just seems sarcastic.", "dialogue": "Good. You might find some superficial damage to the box, but the chocolate is perfectly edible. I give them to all ladies I know aged fifty and under. Over fifty just seems sarcastic." }, { "id": 349, "line_number": 16, "character": { "id": 5, "first_name": "Susan", "last_name": "Foster", "full_name": "Susan Foster" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Well, I'm afraid I need to watch my figure.", "dialogue": "Well, I'm afraid I need to watch my figure." }, { "id": 350, "line_number": 17, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "I'll watch it for you! Through my little binoculars, whooo! Mind you I can't talk. I've got a fat back.", "dialogue": "I'll watch it for you! Through my little binoculars, whooo! Mind you I can't talk. I've got a fat back." }, { "id": 351, "line_number": 18, "character": { "id": 5, "first_name": "Susan", "last_name": "Foster", "full_name": "Susan Foster" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "What's that?", "dialogue": "What's that?" }, { "id": 352, "line_number": 19, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "It's a build-up of fatty deposits, just above the belt line. It's fairly well concealed in casual clothing, but you don't want to see me in my underpants!", "dialogue": "It's a build-up of fatty deposits, just above the belt line. It's fairly well concealed in casual clothing, but you don't want to see me in my underpants!" }, { "id": 353, "line_number": 20, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": "to Sophie", "text": "Sophie, did you get your chocolate orange?", "dialogue": "Sophie, did you get your chocolate orange?" }, { "id": 354, "line_number": 21, "character": { "id": 6, "first_name": "Sophie", "last_name": "the receptionist", "full_name": "Sophie the receptionist" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Yeah.", "dialogue": "Yeah." }, { "id": 355, "line_number": 22, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "I got you a dark chocolate one because I know you don't like milk.", "dialogue": "I got you a dark chocolate one because I know you don't like milk." }, { "id": 356, "line_number": 23, "character": { "id": 6, "first_name": "Sophie", "last_name": "the receptionist", "full_name": "Sophie the receptionist" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "I do like milk chocolate.", "dialogue": "I do like milk chocolate." }, { "id": 357, "line_number": 24, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Oh right. Well, I could exchange it. I could talk to my chocolate people.", "dialogue": "Oh right. Well, I could exchange it. I could talk to my chocolate people." }, { "id": 358, "line_number": 25, "character": { "id": 6, "first_name": "Sophie", "last_name": "the receptionist", "full_name": "Sophie the receptionist" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Yes, please.", "dialogue": "Yes, please." }, { "id": 359, "line_number": 26, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Have you tampered with the wrapping?", "dialogue": "Have you tampered with the wrapping?" }, { "id": 360, "line_number": 27, "character": { "id": 6, "first_name": "Sophie", "last_name": "the receptionist", "full_name": "Sophie the receptionist" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "No, but there is a bit of superficial damage to the box.", "dialogue": "No, but there is a bit of superficial damage to the box." }, { "id": 361, "line_number": 28, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Don't worry about the damage, they're all damaged. Have you kept it below room temperature?", "dialogue": "Don't worry about the damage, they're all damaged. Have you kept it below room temperature?" }, { "id": 362, "line_number": 29, "character": { "id": 6, "first_name": "Sophie", "last_name": "the receptionist", "full_name": "Sophie the receptionist" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "I don't think so.", "dialogue": "I don't think so." }, { "id": 363, "line_number": 30, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Right. In that case, I'm afraid you've invalidated the warranty. Above room temperature, it all congeals into one big dark chocolate cricket ball. So I'm afraid consumer rights no longer apply. I mean, you could try \"Watchdog\", but I think they've got bigger fish to fry.", "dialogue": "Right. In that case, I'm afraid you've invalidated the warranty. Above room temperature, it all congeals into one big dark chocolate cricket ball. So I'm afraid consumer rights no longer apply. I mean, you could try \"Watchdog\", but I think they've got bigger fish to fry." }, { "id": 364, "line_number": 31, "character": { "id": 7, "first_name": "Ben", "last_name": "Swain", "full_name": "Ben Swain" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Excuse me are you Alan Partridge?", "dialogue": "Excuse me are you Alan Partridge?" }, { "id": 365, "line_number": 32, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": "_[Looking all smug]_", "text": "Yeeee-eees.", "dialogue": "Yeeee-eees." }, { "id": 366, "line_number": 33, "character": { "id": 7, "first_name": "Ben", "last_name": "Swain", "full_name": "Ben Swain" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "You dropped this, your ID card, Radio Norwich?", "dialogue": "You dropped this, your ID card, Radio Norwich?" }, { "id": 367, "line_number": 34, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Oh right, thanks. All right?", "dialogue": "Oh right, thanks. All right?" }, { "id": 368, "line_number": 35, "character": { "id": 7, "first_name": "Ben", "last_name": "Swain", "full_name": "Ben Swain" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Good morning!", "dialogue": "Good morning!" }, { "id": 369, "line_number": 36, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": "to Sophie", "text": "Actually, Sophie, there is an issue I've been meaning to raise for the last two weeks. You know those little soaps you leave in the shower room? Well, they will withstand at best, one aggressive body scrub. They start off the size of mini Frisbees and end up like actual-size Paracetamol.", "dialogue": "Actually, Sophie, there is an issue I've been meaning to raise for the last two weeks. You know those little soaps you leave in the shower room? Well, they will withstand at best, one aggressive body scrub. They start off the size of mini Frisbees and end up like actual-size Paracetamol." }, { "id": 370, "line_number": 37, "character": { "id": 6, "first_name": "Sophie", "last_name": "the receptionist", "full_name": "Sophie the receptionist" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Can't you use two?", "dialogue": "Can't you use two?" }, { "id": 371, "line_number": 38, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "I suppose that might work _[Alan mimics washing himself in the shower]_", "dialogue": "I suppose that might work [Alan mimics washing himself in the shower]" }, { "id": 372, "line_number": 39, "character": { "id": 6, "first_name": "Sophie", "last_name": "the receptionist", "full_name": "Sophie the receptionist" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "I'll just write that down _[Sophie turns her back to Alan and starts laughing]_", "dialogue": "I'll just write that down [Sophie turns her back to Alan and starts laughing]" }, { "id": 373, "line_number": 40, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Right.", "dialogue": "Right." }, { "id": 374, "line_number": 41, "character": { "id": 5, "first_name": "Susan", "last_name": "Foster", "full_name": "Susan Foster" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Hello, Alan.", "dialogue": "Hello, Alan." }, { "id": 375, "line_number": 42, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Hello, Susan. _[Alan notices Sophie with her back to him]_ Have I upset her?", "dialogue": "Hello, Susan. [Alan notices Sophie with her back to him] Have I upset her?" }, { "id": 376, "line_number": 43, "character": { "id": 5, "first_name": "Susan", "last_name": "Foster", "full_name": "Susan Foster" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "No, she's fine. Alan, did you send Sophie a Valentine's card this morning?", "dialogue": "No, she's fine. Alan, did you send Sophie a Valentine's card this morning?" }, { "id": 377, "line_number": 44, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Oh god no, no. I'm old enough to be her father, well her older brother. Either way, it's incest.", "dialogue": "Oh god no, no. I'm old enough to be her father, well her older brother. Either way, it's incest." }, { "id": 378, "line_number": 45, "character": { "id": 5, "first_name": "Susan", "last_name": "Foster", "full_name": "Susan Foster" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Ben? Did you send Sophie a Valentine's card?", "dialogue": "Ben? Did you send Sophie a Valentine's card?" }, { "id": 379, "line_number": 46, "character": { "id": 7, "first_name": "Ben", "last_name": "Swain", "full_name": "Ben Swain" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Well, I'm not at liberty to divulge that information.", "dialogue": "Well, I'm not at liberty to divulge that information." }, { "id": 380, "line_number": 47, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": "to Susan and Sophie", "text": "You know, the fact that he made that jokey remark doesn't necessarily mean he sent you the card.", "dialogue": "You know, the fact that he made that jokey remark doesn't necessarily mean he sent you the card." }, { "id": 381, "line_number": 48, "character": { "id": 6, "first_name": "Sophie", "last_name": "the receptionist", "full_name": "Sophie the receptionist" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Did you send it?", "dialogue": "Did you send it?" }, { "id": 382, "line_number": 49, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "No, I sent you a chocolate orange, but I had the decency to admit it.", "dialogue": "No, I sent you a chocolate orange, but I had the decency to admit it." }, { "id": 383, "line_number": 50, "character": { "id": 5, "first_name": "Susan", "last_name": "Foster", "full_name": "Susan Foster" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Come on, Alan, it's just a bit of fun.", "dialogue": "Come on, Alan, it's just a bit of fun." }, { "id": 384, "line_number": 51, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "A lie is a lie.", "dialogue": "A lie is a lie." }, { "id": 385, "line_number": 52, "character": { "id": 6, "first_name": "Sophie", "last_name": "the receptionist", "full_name": "Sophie the receptionist" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Your PA's here.", "dialogue": "Your PA's here." } ] }, { "id": 24, "title": "Lynn turns up at the Travel Tavern to relay the bad news from the accountant to Alan", "order_in_episode": 3, "image_url": null, "lines": [ { "id": 386, "line_number": 1, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Oh, hello, Lynn. Shall we grab a pew?", "dialogue": "Oh, hello, Lynn. Shall we grab a pew?" }, { "id": 387, "line_number": 2, "character": { "id": 2, "first_name": "Lynn", "last_name": "Benfield", "full_name": "Lynn Benfield" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Thanks for my dedication this morning, very nice.", "dialogue": "Thanks for my dedication this morning, very nice." }, { "id": 388, "line_number": 3, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "You're welcome. You realise it was nothing to do with Valentine's Day?", "dialogue": "You're welcome. You realise it was nothing to do with Valentine's Day?" }, { "id": 389, "line_number": 4, "character": { "id": 2, "first_name": "Lynn", "last_name": "Benfield", "full_name": "Lynn Benfield" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Oh, yes.", "dialogue": "Oh, yes." }, { "id": 390, "line_number": 5, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "What have you got for me?", "dialogue": "What have you got for me?" }, { "id": 391, "line_number": 6, "character": { "id": 2, "first_name": "Lynn", "last_name": "Benfield", "full_name": "Lynn Benfield" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Do you want to hear the good news or the bad news?", "dialogue": "Do you want to hear the good news or the bad news?" }, { "id": 392, "line_number": 7, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "The good news?", "dialogue": "The good news?" }, { "id": 393, "line_number": 8, "character": { "id": 2, "first_name": "Lynn", "last_name": "Benfield", "full_name": "Lynn Benfield" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Well Rawlinson's have said you can have another fifty of the shop-soiled Chocolate Oranges if you plug them again tomorrow.", "dialogue": "Well Rawlinson's have said you can have another fifty of the shop-soiled Chocolate Oranges if you plug them again tomorrow." }, { "id": 394, "line_number": 9, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Excellent, and the bad news?", "dialogue": "Excellent, and the bad news?" }, { "id": 395, "line_number": 10, "character": { "id": 2, "first_name": "Lynn", "last_name": "Benfield", "full_name": "Lynn Benfield" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "The accountants say that since you've definitely not got a second series from the BBC you are going to have to sack everyone at Pear Tree Productions and close the office down. Otherwise they're gonna declare you bankrupt on Friday.", "dialogue": "The accountants say that since you've definitely not got a second series from the BBC you are going to have to sack everyone at Pear Tree Productions and close the office down. Otherwise they're gonna declare you bankrupt on Friday." }, { "id": 396, "line_number": 11, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Still, good news about the Chocolate Oranges.", "dialogue": "Still, good news about the Chocolate Oranges." }, { "id": 397, "line_number": 12, "character": { "id": 2, "first_name": "Lynn", "last_name": "Benfield", "full_name": "Lynn Benfield" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Now, Alan, you are going to have to trade down your Rover 800 for a smaller car.", "dialogue": "Now, Alan, you are going to have to trade down your Rover 800 for a smaller car." }, { "id": 398, "line_number": 13, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Go on.", "dialogue": "Go on." }, { "id": 399, "line_number": 14, "character": { "id": 2, "first_name": "Lynn", "last_name": "Benfield", "full_name": "Lynn Benfield" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "I picked up these brochures for the new Metro. It's, it's a lovely car.", "dialogue": "I picked up these brochures for the new Metro. It's, it's a lovely car." }, { "id": 400, "line_number": 15, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Lynn, I'm not driving a Mini Metro.", "dialogue": "Lynn, I'm not driving a Mini Metro." }, { "id": 401, "line_number": 16, "character": { "id": 2, "first_name": "Lynn", "last_name": "Benfield", "full_name": "Lynn Benfield" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "But you do have to make substantial savings.", "dialogue": "But you do have to make substantial savings." }, { "id": 402, "line_number": 17, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Lynn, I'm not driving a Mini Metro.", "dialogue": "Lynn, I'm not driving a Mini Metro." }, { "id": 403, "line_number": 18, "character": { "id": 2, "first_name": "Lynn", "last_name": "Benfield", "full_name": "Lynn Benfield" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "But if you do, you can keep Pear Tree Productions going with a skeleton staff of two…", "dialogue": "But if you do, you can keep Pear Tree Productions going with a skeleton staff of two…" }, { "id": 404, "line_number": 19, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "There's no point finishing the sentence Lynn because I'm not driving a Mini Metro.", "dialogue": "There's no point finishing the sentence Lynn because I'm not driving a Mini Metro." }, { "id": 405, "line_number": 20, "character": { "id": 2, "first_name": "Lynn", "last_name": "Benfield", "full_name": "Lynn Benfield" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "But if you…", "dialogue": "But if you…" }, { "id": 406, "line_number": 21, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Lynn, I'll just speak over you. Go on, try and finish the sentence and see what I do. Go on!", "dialogue": "Lynn, I'll just speak over you. Go on, try and finish the sentence and see what I do. Go on!" }, { "id": 407, "line_number": 22, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "_[Lynn attempts to finish her sentence and Alan speaks over her]_ I'm not driving a Mini Metro, I'm not driving a Mini Metro, I'm not driving a Mini Metro!", "dialogue": "[Lynn attempts to finish her sentence and Alan speaks over her] I'm not driving a Mini Metro, I'm not driving a Mini Metro, I'm not driving a Mini Metro!" }, { "id": 408, "line_number": 23, "character": { "id": 2, "first_name": "Lynn", "last_name": "Benfield", "full_name": "Lynn Benfield" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "No, no it's different. It's called a Rover Metro now.", "dialogue": "No, no it's different. It's called a Rover Metro now." }, { "id": 409, "line_number": 24, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "They've re-badged it you fool!", "dialogue": "They've re-badged it you fool!" }, { "id": 410, "line_number": 25, "character": { "id": 2, "first_name": "Lynn", "last_name": "Benfield", "full_name": "Lynn Benfield" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Well, Alan, if you want a Rover 200 you're going to have to sack everyone at Pear Tree Productions.", "dialogue": "Well, Alan, if you want a Rover 200 you're going to have to sack everyone at Pear Tree Productions." }, { "id": 411, "line_number": 26, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Fine.", "dialogue": "Fine." }, { "id": 412, "line_number": 27, "character": { "id": 2, "first_name": "Lynn", "last_name": "Benfield", "full_name": "Lynn Benfield" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Including Jill.", "dialogue": "Including Jill." }, { "id": 413, "line_number": 28, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Jill… Lovely Jill. She's my favourite… But fine, I'll sack her. You smiled then, Lynn.", "dialogue": "Jill… Lovely Jill. She's my favourite… But fine, I'll sack her. You smiled then, Lynn." }, { "id": 414, "line_number": 29, "character": { "id": 2, "first_name": "Lynn", "last_name": "Benfield", "full_name": "Lynn Benfield" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "No I didn't.", "dialogue": "No I didn't." }, { "id": 415, "line_number": 30, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Yes, you did. I can read you like a book, and not a very good book. Certainly not Bravo Two Zero by Andy McNab. Which actually improves with every read. You smiled because you don't like Jill because she's younger than you.", "dialogue": "Yes, you did. I can read you like a book, and not a very good book. Certainly not Bravo Two Zero by Andy McNab. Which actually improves with every read. You smiled because you don't like Jill because she's younger than you." }, { "id": 416, "line_number": 31, "character": { "id": 2, "first_name": "Lynn", "last_name": "Benfield", "full_name": "Lynn Benfield" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "No she's not, she's fifty.", "dialogue": "No she's not, she's fifty." }, { "id": 417, "line_number": 32, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "So's Helen Mirren.", "dialogue": "So's Helen Mirren." }, { "id": 418, "line_number": 33, "character": { "id": 2, "first_name": "Lynn", "last_name": "Benfield", "full_name": "Lynn Benfield" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "So's Benjamin Netanyahu.", "dialogue": "So's Benjamin Netanyahu." }, { "id": 419, "line_number": 34, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "You're always going on about Benjamin Netanyahu. Let it go Lynn you're never going to meet him. Right, I'm going to get a spot of breakfast. Oh, quick tip, Lynn. You know the breakfast buffet? Eat as much as you like but from an eight-inch plate? See that? _[Shows Lynn his big plate]_ Twelve inches… Keep it in my room. _[Lynn walks off, unimpressed]_ See you later!", "dialogue": "You're always going on about Benjamin Netanyahu. Let it go Lynn you're never going to meet him. Right, I'm going to get a spot of breakfast. Oh, quick tip, Lynn. You know the breakfast buffet? Eat as much as you like but from an eight-inch plate? See that? [Shows Lynn his big plate] Twelve inches… Keep it in my room. [Lynn walks off, unimpressed] See you later!" } ] }, { "id": 25, "title": "Alan heads to the Travel Tavern restaurant for breakfast", "order_in_episode": 4, "image_url": null, "lines": [ { "id": 420, "line_number": 1, "character": { "id": 3, "first_name": "Michael", "last_name": "the Geordie", "full_name": "Michael the Geordie" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Aye-aye Mr Partridge! Mornin'. Valentine's Day today, eh? Love is in the air.", "dialogue": "Aye-aye Mr Partridge! Mornin'. Valentine's Day today, eh? Love is in the air." }, { "id": 421, "line_number": 2, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "It's Valentine's Day today, and love is in the air?", "dialogue": "It's Valentine's Day today, and love is in the air?" }, { "id": 422, "line_number": 3, "character": { "id": 3, "first_name": "Michael", "last_name": "the Geordie", "full_name": "Michael the Geordie" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Aye, aye!", "dialogue": "Aye, aye!" }, { "id": 423, "line_number": 4, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "I'm getting the hang of this. Mind you I have been here ten weeks.", "dialogue": "I'm getting the hang of this. Mind you I have been here ten weeks." }, { "id": 424, "line_number": 5, "character": { "id": 3, "first_name": "Michael", "last_name": "the Geordie", "full_name": "Michael the Geordie" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "So, are we having the full English breakfast?", "dialogue": "So, are we having the full English breakfast?" }, { "id": 425, "line_number": 6, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Can I have my sausages burnt to a crisp please? So they can only be identified by reference to their dental records.", "dialogue": "Can I have my sausages burnt to a crisp please? So they can only be identified by reference to their dental records." }, { "id": 426, "line_number": 7, "character": { "id": 3, "first_name": "Michael", "last_name": "the Geordie", "full_name": "Michael the Geordie" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Ok! Either that or their finger prints eh?", "dialogue": "Ok! Either that or their finger prints eh?" }, { "id": 427, "line_number": 8, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Can you fingerprint a sausage?", "dialogue": "Can you fingerprint a sausage?" }, { "id": 428, "line_number": 9, "character": { "id": 3, "first_name": "Michael", "last_name": "the Geordie", "full_name": "Michael the Geordie" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Well, I suppose technically you could, aye!", "dialogue": "Well, I suppose technically you could, aye!" }, { "id": 429, "line_number": 10, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Suppose I was a burglar and I wanted to avoid detection I could strap sausages to my fingers. Probably survive a couple of break-ins before it started to fall apart.", "dialogue": "Suppose I was a burglar and I wanted to avoid detection I could strap sausages to my fingers. Probably survive a couple of break-ins before it started to fall apart." }, { "id": 430, "line_number": 11, "character": { "id": 3, "first_name": "Michael", "last_name": "the Geordie", "full_name": "Michael the Geordie" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Aye. Maybe just have like a beef burger for your palm, you know.", "dialogue": "Aye. Maybe just have like a beef burger for your palm, you know." }, { "id": 431, "line_number": 12, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "No, that's a bit too farfetched. I do enjoy these chats of a morning. _[Michael walks off and Alan gets his big plate out]_ Eighteen 'til I die, I'm gonna be eighteen 'til I die.", "dialogue": "No, that's a bit too farfetched. I do enjoy these chats of a morning. [Michael walks off and Alan gets his big plate out] Eighteen 'til I die, I'm gonna be eighteen 'til I die." } ] }, { "id": 26, "title": "Alan visits his Pear Tree Productions office to relay the news of the second series to his staff", "order_in_episode": 5, "image_url": null, "lines": [ { "id": 432, "line_number": 1, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Morning, everyone. Morning, Jill.", "dialogue": "Morning, everyone. Morning, Jill." }, { "id": 433, "line_number": 2, "character": { "id": 10, "first_name": "Jill", "last_name": "Parker", "full_name": "Jill Parker" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Aww, thanks for the chocolate orange, Alan.", "dialogue": "Aww, thanks for the chocolate orange, Alan." }, { "id": 434, "line_number": 3, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "You're welcome. Did you notice anything about the box?", "dialogue": "You're welcome. Did you notice anything about the box?" }, { "id": 435, "line_number": 4, "character": { "id": 10, "first_name": "Jill", "last_name": "Parker", "full_name": "Jill Parker" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "No.", "dialogue": "No." }, { "id": 436, "line_number": 5, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Exactly. All the others had superficial damage. I paid for yours. All your segments are intact.", "dialogue": "Exactly. All the others had superficial damage. I paid for yours. All your segments are intact." }, { "id": 437, "line_number": 6, "character": { "id": 10, "first_name": "Jill", "last_name": "Parker", "full_name": "Jill Parker" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Well, they were when I looked this morning.", "dialogue": "Well, they were when I looked this morning." } ] }, { "id": 27, "title": "When asked if the team have a second series, Alan blatantly lies and the team are ecstatic, however, Alan just needs an excuse to start the cull", "order_in_episode": 6, "image_url": null, "lines": [ { "id": 438, "line_number": 1, "character": { "id": 26, "first_name": "Martin", "last_name": null, "full_name": "Martin" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Alan, have we got a second series?", "dialogue": "Alan, have we got a second series?" }, { "id": 439, "line_number": 2, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Yes! _[Everyone in the office is pleased and hug each other]_", "dialogue": "Yes! [Everyone in the office is pleased and hug each other]" }, { "id": 440, "line_number": 3, "character": { "id": 25, "first_name": "Bill", "last_name": null, "full_name": "Bill" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "I'll go and get some champagne, shall I?", "dialogue": "I'll go and get some champagne, shall I?" }, { "id": 441, "line_number": 4, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Actually, Bill, sparkling wine will be fine.", "dialogue": "Actually, Bill, sparkling wine will be fine." }, { "id": 442, "line_number": 5, "character": { "id": 25, "first_name": "Bill", "last_name": null, "full_name": "Bill" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Whatever.", "dialogue": "Whatever." }, { "id": 443, "line_number": 6, "character": { "id": 10, "first_name": "Jill", "last_name": "Parker", "full_name": "Jill Parker" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "I'll get some crisps and things.", "dialogue": "I'll get some crisps and things." }, { "id": 444, "line_number": 7, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Actually, Jill, a pipe of Pringles will suffice.", "dialogue": "Actually, Jill, a pipe of Pringles will suffice." }, { "id": 445, "line_number": 8, "character": { "id": 10, "first_name": "Jill", "last_name": "Parker", "full_name": "Jill Parker" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Unless there's anything else you fancy?", "dialogue": "Unless there's anything else you fancy?" }, { "id": 446, "line_number": 9, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Eeeeeer! No, just a pipe of Pringles, fine. _[Alan looks over at Lynn, she isn't impressed]_", "dialogue": "Eeeeeer! No, just a pipe of Pringles, fine. [Alan looks over at Lynn, she isn't impressed]" } ] }, { "id": 28, "title": "Alan walks away and drifts off into one of his daydreams", "order_in_episode": 7, "image_url": null, "lines": [ { "id": 447, "line_number": 1, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Would you like me to lap dance for you? _[Tony shows Alan a ten pound note]_ I want a second series.", "dialogue": "Would you like me to lap dance for you? [Tony shows Alan a ten pound note] I want a second series." }, { "id": 448, "line_number": 2, "character": { "id": 8, "first_name": "Tony", "last_name": "Hayers", "full_name": "Tony Hayers" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "I like your thong.", "dialogue": "I like your thong." }, { "id": 449, "line_number": 3, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Yeah, it's Vulcanised Rubber, which means it won't perish.", "dialogue": "Yeah, it's Vulcanised Rubber, which means it won't perish." } ] }, { "id": 29, "title": "Alan snaps out of his lap dancing daydream and begins firing his staff", "order_in_episode": 8, "image_url": null, "lines": [ { "id": 450, "line_number": 1, "character": { "id": 27, "first_name": "Jason", "last_name": null, "full_name": "Jason" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Way-hey!", "dialogue": "Way-hey!" }, { "id": 451, "line_number": 2, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Bash your arse!", "dialogue": "Bash your arse!" }, { "id": 452, "line_number": 3, "character": { "id": 28, "first_name": "Alison", "last_name": null, "full_name": "Alison" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Any more news, Alan?", "dialogue": "Any more news, Alan?" }, { "id": 453, "line_number": 4, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Err no, just said, second series in the bag, you're all on board, details to follow. And, who left this coffee cup here?", "dialogue": "Err no, just said, second series in the bag, you're all on board, details to follow. And, who left this coffee cup here?" }, { "id": 454, "line_number": 5, "character": { "id": 27, "first_name": "Jason", "last_name": null, "full_name": "Jason" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Sorry, Alan. I meant to clean it last night.", "dialogue": "Sorry, Alan. I meant to clean it last night." }, { "id": 455, "line_number": 6, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Well that's not good enough. You're sacked!", "dialogue": "Well that's not good enough. You're sacked!" }, { "id": 456, "line_number": 7, "character": { "id": 27, "first_name": "Jason", "last_name": null, "full_name": "Jason" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "What?", "dialogue": "What?" }, { "id": 457, "line_number": 8, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "I will not have uncleansed coffee cups in Pear Tree Productions. The plague started from a mal-attended surface.", "dialogue": "I will not have uncleansed coffee cups in Pear Tree Productions. The plague started from a mal-attended surface." }, { "id": 458, "line_number": 9, "character": { "id": 9, "first_name": "Peter", "last_name": "Linehan", "full_name": "Peter Linehan" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "What are you doing, Alan?", "dialogue": "What are you doing, Alan?" }, { "id": 459, "line_number": 10, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "You're sacked, too.", "dialogue": "You're sacked, too." }, { "id": 460, "line_number": 11, "character": { "id": 9, "first_name": "Peter", "last_name": "Linehan", "full_name": "Peter Linehan" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Why?", "dialogue": "Why?" }, { "id": 461, "line_number": 12, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Because you do this all the time _[tuts]_. See you did it again, you're definitely sacked!", "dialogue": "Because you do this all the time [tuts]. See you did it again, you're definitely sacked!" }, { "id": 462, "line_number": 13, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Now, Alison. You are a lady and I don't want this to be unpleasant.", "dialogue": "Now, Alison. You are a lady and I don't want this to be unpleasant." }, { "id": 463, "line_number": 14, "character": { "id": 28, "first_name": "Alison", "last_name": null, "full_name": "Alison" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Are you sacking me as well?", "dialogue": "Are you sacking me as well?" }, { "id": 464, "line_number": 15, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Yes I am", "dialogue": "Yes I am" }, { "id": 465, "line_number": 16, "character": { "id": 28, "first_name": "Alison", "last_name": null, "full_name": "Alison" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "You rotten shit!", "dialogue": "You rotten shit!" }, { "id": 466, "line_number": 17, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "You're a rotten shit, too. Get your coat!", "dialogue": "You're a rotten shit, too. Get your coat!" }, { "id": 467, "line_number": 18, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "_[To Lynn, handing her the keys]_ Go, go, go, go, go, go. Start the car.", "dialogue": "[To Lynn, handing her the keys] Go, go, go, go, go, go. Start the car." }, { "id": 468, "line_number": 19, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": "_[Over the telephone speaker system]_", "text": "Hello, it's Alan again. I've locked you all in the boardroom so you don't get me. You can leave via the fire escape. I haven't got a second series, I just didn't have the guts to say that earlier. It's a bit like doing my radio show this, isn't it? You're listening to \"Up with the Partridge. A-haa\". Bye!", "dialogue": "Hello, it's Alan again. I've locked you all in the boardroom so you don't get me. You can leave via the fire escape. I haven't got a second series, I just didn't have the guts to say that earlier. It's a bit like doing my radio show this, isn't it? You're listening to \"Up with the Partridge. A-haa\". Bye!" } ] }, { "id": 30, "title": "As the staff clear the building, Jill returns with the pipe of Pringles and a Lion Bar for Alan", "order_in_episode": 9, "image_url": null, "lines": [ { "id": 469, "line_number": 1, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Ahh, hello, Jill.", "dialogue": "Ahh, hello, Jill." }, { "id": 470, "line_number": 2, "character": { "id": 10, "first_name": "Jill", "last_name": "Parker", "full_name": "Jill Parker" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Why is the door locked?", "dialogue": "Why is the door locked?" }, { "id": 471, "line_number": 3, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "To keep you out, you thief!", "dialogue": "To keep you out, you thief!" }, { "id": 472, "line_number": 4, "character": { "id": 10, "first_name": "Jill", "last_name": "Parker", "full_name": "Jill Parker" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "What?", "dialogue": "What?" }, { "id": 473, "line_number": 5, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "I'm being light-hearted. Shoot your chuff through that door.", "dialogue": "I'm being light-hearted. Shoot your chuff through that door." }, { "id": 474, "line_number": 6, "character": { "id": 10, "first_name": "Jill", "last_name": "Parker", "full_name": "Jill Parker" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Right, I've got the Pringles, and that's for you _[Hands Alan a Lion Bar]_. Where's everybody else?", "dialogue": "Right, I've got the Pringles, and that's for you [Hands Alan a Lion Bar]. Where's everybody else?" }, { "id": 475, "line_number": 7, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "They've gone to… Long Stanton Spice Museum.", "dialogue": "They've gone to… Long Stanton Spice Museum." }, { "id": 476, "line_number": 8, "character": { "id": 10, "first_name": "Jill", "last_name": "Parker", "full_name": "Jill Parker" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Why?", "dialogue": "Why?" }, { "id": 477, "line_number": 9, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "I said \"Congratulations, you've got a second series. We can't celebrate with the Spice Girls, so why not get your arses down to the Spice Museum in Long Stanton?\". I mean you know, it's not just spices. It's all about the spice trade. They've got a model of a slave boat. It's very big and you press a button and hear all the slaves going \"uurrrrggh\". Because they've packed them in too tight. _[At this point, Alan has closed the door over and he is peering through a tight gap talking to Jill]_ Err listen, Jill. I really like you, but…", "dialogue": "I said \"Congratulations, you've got a second series. We can't celebrate with the Spice Girls, so why not get your arses down to the Spice Museum in Long Stanton?\". I mean you know, it's not just spices. It's all about the spice trade. They've got a model of a slave boat. It's very big and you press a button and hear all the slaves going \"uurrrrggh\". Because they've packed them in too tight. [At this point, Alan has closed the door over and he is peering through a tight gap talking to Jill] Err listen, Jill. I really like you, but…" }, { "id": 478, "line_number": 10, "character": { "id": 10, "first_name": "Jill", "last_name": "Parker", "full_name": "Jill Parker" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "I like you as well.", "dialogue": "I like you as well." }, { "id": 479, "line_number": 11, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Oh, thanks!", "dialogue": "Oh, thanks!" }, { "id": 480, "line_number": 12, "character": { "id": 10, "first_name": "Jill", "last_name": "Parker", "full_name": "Jill Parker" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "You're packed in a bit tight!", "dialogue": "You're packed in a bit tight!" }, { "id": 481, "line_number": 13, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Listen. Just to clear something up. You know when you make those risqué comments, are you just flirting in that sort of crude way that middle-aged divorcees do. Or do you genuinely like me, sex-wise?", "dialogue": "Listen. Just to clear something up. You know when you make those risqué comments, are you just flirting in that sort of crude way that middle-aged divorcees do. Or do you genuinely like me, sex-wise?" }, { "id": 482, "line_number": 14, "character": { "id": 10, "first_name": "Jill", "last_name": "Parker", "full_name": "Jill Parker" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Well, you know. You're a man, I'm a woman.", "dialogue": "Well, you know. You're a man, I'm a woman." }, { "id": 483, "line_number": 15, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "That's a relief. Your mind plays tricks.", "dialogue": "That's a relief. Your mind plays tricks." }, { "id": 484, "line_number": 16, "character": { "id": 10, "first_name": "Jill", "last_name": "Parker", "full_name": "Jill Parker" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "You're quite successful, you've got a second series.", "dialogue": "You're quite successful, you've got a second series." }, { "id": 485, "line_number": 17, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Carry on.", "dialogue": "Carry on." }, { "id": 486, "line_number": 18, "character": { "id": 10, "first_name": "Jill", "last_name": "Parker", "full_name": "Jill Parker" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "You've got needs.", "dialogue": "You've got needs." }, { "id": 487, "line_number": 19, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Yes I have.", "dialogue": "Yes I have." }, { "id": 488, "line_number": 20, "character": { "id": 10, "first_name": "Jill", "last_name": "Parker", "full_name": "Jill Parker" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "I've got needs.", "dialogue": "I've got needs." }, { "id": 489, "line_number": 21, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Good. Jill, is the answer to my original question, \"Do you like me sex-wise\", is the answer to that yes or no? Quickly?", "dialogue": "Good. Jill, is the answer to my original question, \"Do you like me sex-wise\", is the answer to that yes or no? Quickly?" }, { "id": 490, "line_number": 22, "character": { "id": 10, "first_name": "Jill", "last_name": "Parker", "full_name": "Jill Parker" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Yeah.", "dialogue": "Yeah." }, { "id": 491, "line_number": 23, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "I'm Batman!", "dialogue": "I'm Batman!" }, { "id": 492, "line_number": 24, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Lion Bar?", "dialogue": "Lion Bar?" }, { "id": 493, "line_number": 25, "character": { "id": 10, "first_name": "Jill", "last_name": "Parker", "full_name": "Jill Parker" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "No, I prefer fingers.", "dialogue": "No, I prefer fingers." }, { "id": 494, "line_number": 26, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Chocolate ones?", "dialogue": "Chocolate ones?" }, { "id": 495, "line_number": 27, "character": { "id": 10, "first_name": "Jill", "last_name": "Parker", "full_name": "Jill Parker" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Don't mind really.", "dialogue": "Don't mind really." }, { "id": 496, "line_number": 28, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Woooah! Jill, you are SO dirty! It's quite refreshing! You call a spade a spade. Actually, you'd probably call it a big tool wouldn't you!", "dialogue": "Woooah! Jill, you are SO dirty! It's quite refreshing! You call a spade a spade. Actually, you'd probably call it a big tool wouldn't you!" }, { "id": 497, "line_number": 29, "character": { "id": 10, "first_name": "Jill", "last_name": "Parker", "full_name": "Jill Parker" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "So what are we going to do together then? Norwich is our oyster.", "dialogue": "So what are we going to do together then? Norwich is our oyster." }, { "id": 498, "line_number": 30, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Jill, do you like owls?", "dialogue": "Jill, do you like owls?" }, { "id": 499, "line_number": 31, "character": { "id": 10, "first_name": "Jill", "last_name": "Parker", "full_name": "Jill Parker" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "They're quite nice I suppose, yeah.", "dialogue": "They're quite nice I suppose, yeah." }, { "id": 500, "line_number": 32, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "I know a cracking owl sanctuary. How about it? Unless you can think of anything better?", "dialogue": "I know a cracking owl sanctuary. How about it? Unless you can think of anything better?" }, { "id": 501, "line_number": 33, "character": { "id": 10, "first_name": "Jill", "last_name": "Parker", "full_name": "Jill Parker" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "We could go shopping?", "dialogue": "We could go shopping?" } ] }, { "id": 31, "title": "Alan and Jill spend the day at an owl sanctuary", "order_in_episode": 10, "image_url": null, "lines": [ { "id": 502, "line_number": 1, "character": null, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "_[An owl squawks]_", "dialogue": "[An owl squawks]" }, { "id": 503, "line_number": 2, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "I like the Astroturf they place on the wood there. It's basically zero-maintenance grass. Useful stuff. You know when I used to see you in reception, you know what I used to think?", "dialogue": "I like the Astroturf they place on the wood there. It's basically zero-maintenance grass. Useful stuff. You know when I used to see you in reception, you know what I used to think?" }, { "id": 504, "line_number": 3, "character": { "id": 10, "first_name": "Jill", "last_name": "Parker", "full_name": "Jill Parker" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "No?", "dialogue": "No?" }, { "id": 505, "line_number": 4, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "I used to think, \"Ooooooh, she's nicer than my wife!\"", "dialogue": "I used to think, \"Ooooooh, she's nicer than my wife!\"" }, { "id": 506, "line_number": 5, "character": { "id": 10, "first_name": "Jill", "last_name": "Parker", "full_name": "Jill Parker" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "What! That's terrible! That's a terrible thing to say, Alan. _[Alan stands with his legs apart, leans back and blows a raspberry]_ You're mad you are!", "dialogue": "What! That's terrible! That's a terrible thing to say, Alan. [Alan stands with his legs apart, leans back and blows a raspberry] You're mad you are!" }, { "id": 507, "line_number": 6, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Ahh, I know I am a bit mad. Arrrrggh! _[Jill shrieks, Alan looks over to some people who perhaps think Jill is distressed]_ It's all right. No, it's all right. I was just portraying a mad man.", "dialogue": "Ahh, I know I am a bit mad. Arrrrggh! [Jill shrieks, Alan looks over to some people who perhaps think Jill is distressed] It's all right. No, it's all right. I was just portraying a mad man." }, { "id": 508, "line_number": 7, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "That all looks a bit like Death Row, doesn't it. I'm sorry Mr Hawk, your pardon has been turned down. You have been found guilty of… premeditated homicide of a mouse, and you will be hanged by the neck until dead. And don't try to hover up so that the rope goes slack. They could do that, couldn't they? If you tried to hang a hawk, they could always hover so the rope went slack. So, I suppose if you are going to execute a bird of prey, the most humane way would be death by firing squad.", "dialogue": "That all looks a bit like Death Row, doesn't it. I'm sorry Mr Hawk, your pardon has been turned down. You have been found guilty of… premeditated homicide of a mouse, and you will be hanged by the neck until dead. And don't try to hover up so that the rope goes slack. They could do that, couldn't they? If you tried to hang a hawk, they could always hover so the rope went slack. So, I suppose if you are going to execute a bird of prey, the most humane way would be death by firing squad." } ] }, { "id": 32, "title": "Alan and Jill leave the owl sanctuary and are in Alan's car. Alan makes his move and invites Jill to a romantic buffet-supper", "order_in_episode": 11, "image_url": null, "lines": [ { "id": 509, "line_number": 1, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "That is the best Valentine's Day I have had in eight years.", "dialogue": "That is the best Valentine's Day I have had in eight years." }, { "id": 510, "line_number": 2, "character": { "id": 10, "first_name": "Jill", "last_name": "Parker", "full_name": "Jill Parker" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "What did you do eight years ago?", "dialogue": "What did you do eight years ago?" }, { "id": 511, "line_number": 3, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Just had a better one.", "dialogue": "Just had a better one." }, { "id": 512, "line_number": 4, "character": { "id": 10, "first_name": "Jill", "last_name": "Parker", "full_name": "Jill Parker" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "What did you do?", "dialogue": "What did you do?" }, { "id": 513, "line_number": 5, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Went to Silverstone, shook Jackie Stewart's hand. Superb! My marriage fell apart soon after that.", "dialogue": "Went to Silverstone, shook Jackie Stewart's hand. Superb! My marriage fell apart soon after that." }, { "id": 514, "line_number": 6, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Listen Jill, there is a romantic buffet-supper at the hotel tonight. As much as you can eat for six pounds. I've got a scam going with a big plate. Do you, err, do you fancy being my co-eater lady?", "dialogue": "Listen Jill, there is a romantic buffet-supper at the hotel tonight. As much as you can eat for six pounds. I've got a scam going with a big plate. Do you, err, do you fancy being my co-eater lady?" }, { "id": 515, "line_number": 7, "character": { "id": 10, "first_name": "Jill", "last_name": "Parker", "full_name": "Jill Parker" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Ohh! Yeah, Alan. I'd like that Alan, yeah.", "dialogue": "Ohh! Yeah, Alan. I'd like that Alan, yeah." }, { "id": 516, "line_number": 8, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Listen to this, it'll blow your socks off! _[Gaudete by Steeleye Span begins playing]_", "dialogue": "Listen to this, it'll blow your socks off! [Gaudete by Steeleye Span begins playing]" }, { "id": 517, "line_number": 9, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "…\"Est Natus! Ex Maria Virginae, Gaudete!\"", "dialogue": "…\"Est Natus! Ex Maria Virginae, Gaudete!\"" } ] }, { "id": 33, "title": "Alan and Jill are at the Travel Tavern for their romantic buffet supper", "order_in_episode": 12, "image_url": null, "lines": [ { "id": 518, "line_number": 1, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "_[Cleaning his plate]_ Just give that a quick clean. Saves me doing it later.", "dialogue": "[Cleaning his plate] Just give that a quick clean. Saves me doing it later." }, { "id": 519, "line_number": 2, "character": { "id": 7, "first_name": "Ben", "last_name": "Swain", "full_name": "Ben Swain" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Bonsoir! Would you like to buy a rose for the lady? It's £2 for Norwich Children's Hospital.", "dialogue": "Bonsoir! Would you like to buy a rose for the lady? It's £2 for Norwich Children's Hospital." }, { "id": 520, "line_number": 3, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "I've already done something for them. I did an after-dinner with Bill Oddie.", "dialogue": "I've already done something for them. I did an after-dinner with Bill Oddie." }, { "id": 521, "line_number": 4, "character": { "id": 7, "first_name": "Ben", "last_name": "Swain", "full_name": "Ben Swain" }, "custom_character_name": "_[Handing rose to Jill]_", "text": "Voilà!", "dialogue": "Voilà!" }, { "id": 522, "line_number": 5, "character": { "id": 10, "first_name": "Jill", "last_name": "Parker", "full_name": "Jill Parker" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Aww. Thank you, Alan, that's really lovely.", "dialogue": "Aww. Thank you, Alan, that's really lovely." }, { "id": 523, "line_number": 6, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Keep it, keep it. You can always get me something of equivalent value, a pint of bitter, a big marker pen, whatever.", "dialogue": "Keep it, keep it. You can always get me something of equivalent value, a pint of bitter, a big marker pen, whatever." }, { "id": 524, "line_number": 7, "character": { "id": 3, "first_name": "Michael", "last_name": "the Geordie", "full_name": "Michael the Geordie" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Have you'se all done, maybe like to order a dessert?", "dialogue": "Have you'se all done, maybe like to order a dessert?" }, { "id": 525, "line_number": 8, "character": { "id": 10, "first_name": "Jill", "last_name": "Parker", "full_name": "Jill Parker" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "I'll have chocolate mousse.", "dialogue": "I'll have chocolate mousse." }, { "id": 526, "line_number": 9, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "_[Michael clears the table and grabs Alan's big plate]_ Ohh, leave that there.", "dialogue": "[Michael clears the table and grabs Alan's big plate] Ohh, leave that there." }, { "id": 527, "line_number": 10, "character": { "id": 3, "first_name": "Michael", "last_name": "the Geordie", "full_name": "Michael the Geordie" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Two chocolate mousses on their way.", "dialogue": "Two chocolate mousses on their way." }, { "id": 528, "line_number": 11, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Just going over there for a bit. _[Heads over to the band to serenade Jill with a song]_ This is a romantic tribute, to a lovely lady over there, with orange hair, and a cigarette in her mouth. 'Why do birds, suddenly appear'… That's too high… 'Every time… you are near'… 'near'…'Just like, just like me… close to you'… 'Why do… why do'. No, that's not working. OK, well you get the general idea anyway. Thank you.", "dialogue": "Just going over there for a bit. [Heads over to the band to serenade Jill with a song] This is a romantic tribute, to a lovely lady over there, with orange hair, and a cigarette in her mouth. 'Why do birds, suddenly appear'… That's too high… 'Every time… you are near'… 'near'…'Just like, just like me… close to you'… 'Why do… why do'. No, that's not working. OK, well you get the general idea anyway. Thank you." }, { "id": 529, "line_number": 12, "character": { "id": 10, "first_name": "Jill", "last_name": "Parker", "full_name": "Jill Parker" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "That's great actually. I didn't know you could sing.", "dialogue": "That's great actually. I didn't know you could sing." }, { "id": 530, "line_number": 13, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "I used to be in the choir at primary school. Before it all dropped. In my pre-hair days.", "dialogue": "I used to be in the choir at primary school. Before it all dropped. In my pre-hair days." }, { "id": 531, "line_number": 14, "character": { "id": 10, "first_name": "Jill", "last_name": "Parker", "full_name": "Jill Parker" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "It's all fallen into place now though, hasn't it?", "dialogue": "It's all fallen into place now though, hasn't it?" }, { "id": 532, "line_number": 15, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Yep, I've been pubic for 31 years. I was one of the first in my class.", "dialogue": "Yep, I've been pubic for 31 years. I was one of the first in my class." }, { "id": 533, "line_number": 16, "character": { "id": 3, "first_name": "Michael", "last_name": "the Geordie", "full_name": "Michael the Geordie" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Shift out the way. Here you go, two chocolate mousses.", "dialogue": "Shift out the way. Here you go, two chocolate mousses." }, { "id": 534, "line_number": 17, "character": { "id": 10, "first_name": "Jill", "last_name": "Parker", "full_name": "Jill Parker" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Ahh, thank you. I love chocolate.", "dialogue": "Ahh, thank you. I love chocolate." }, { "id": 535, "line_number": 18, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Yeah, so do I.", "dialogue": "Yeah, so do I." }, { "id": 536, "line_number": 19, "character": { "id": 10, "first_name": "Jill", "last_name": "Parker", "full_name": "Jill Parker" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Wispas.", "dialogue": "Wispas." }, { "id": 537, "line_number": 20, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Aeros.", "dialogue": "Aeros." }, { "id": 538, "line_number": 21, "character": { "id": 10, "first_name": "Jill", "last_name": "Parker", "full_name": "Jill Parker" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Ripples.", "dialogue": "Ripples." }, { "id": 539, "line_number": 22, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Flakes.", "dialogue": "Flakes." }, { "id": 540, "line_number": 23, "character": { "id": 10, "first_name": "Jill", "last_name": "Parker", "full_name": "Jill Parker" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Caramac", "dialogue": "Caramac" }, { "id": 541, "line_number": 24, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "It's good this isn't it? Even though we're basically just listing chocolate bars. Oh my god, Lynn's here. Lynn, what are you doing here?", "dialogue": "It's good this isn't it? Even though we're basically just listing chocolate bars. Oh my god, Lynn's here. Lynn, what are you doing here?" }, { "id": 542, "line_number": 25, "character": { "id": 2, "first_name": "Lynn", "last_name": "Benfield", "full_name": "Lynn Benfield" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Alan, more good news. I managed to negotiate a walnut gearknob for your smaller Rover.", "dialogue": "Alan, more good news. I managed to negotiate a walnut gearknob for your smaller Rover." }, { "id": 543, "line_number": 26, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "And you've come all the way out here to tell me about a walnut gearknob?", "dialogue": "And you've come all the way out here to tell me about a walnut gearknob?" }, { "id": 544, "line_number": 27, "character": { "id": 2, "first_name": "Lynn", "last_name": "Benfield", "full_name": "Lynn Benfield" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Yes, well I've been ringing you all day, but your mobile was switched off.", "dialogue": "Yes, well I've been ringing you all day, but your mobile was switched off." }, { "id": 545, "line_number": 28, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Lynn, if my mobile was switched off, it's switched off for a reason. I was at an owl sanctuary. I was worried that the ringing might have sounded like a mating call. I can't have a bird trying to have sex with my phone. Why are you wearing that snazzy cardigan?", "dialogue": "Lynn, if my mobile was switched off, it's switched off for a reason. I was at an owl sanctuary. I was worried that the ringing might have sounded like a mating call. I can't have a bird trying to have sex with my phone. Why are you wearing that snazzy cardigan?" }, { "id": 546, "line_number": 29, "character": { "id": 2, "first_name": "Lynn", "last_name": "Benfield", "full_name": "Lynn Benfield" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "I just threw it on.", "dialogue": "I just threw it on." }, { "id": 547, "line_number": 30, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "If you think you can upstage Jill by wearing that, you are very much mistaken. But thanks very much for the gearknob, and goodnight.", "dialogue": "If you think you can upstage Jill by wearing that, you are very much mistaken. But thanks very much for the gearknob, and goodnight." }, { "id": 548, "line_number": 31, "character": { "id": 2, "first_name": "Lynn", "last_name": "Benfield", "full_name": "Lynn Benfield" }, "custom_character_name": "to Jill", "text": "We're in the same area. I wondered if you'd like to take a taxi back with me. You know, make a saving?", "dialogue": "We're in the same area. I wondered if you'd like to take a taxi back with me. You know, make a saving?" }, { "id": 549, "line_number": 32, "character": { "id": 10, "first_name": "Jill", "last_name": "Parker", "full_name": "Jill Parker" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Well…", "dialogue": "Well…" }, { "id": 550, "line_number": 33, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "No, Jill will be sleeping with me tonight.", "dialogue": "No, Jill will be sleeping with me tonight." }, { "id": 551, "line_number": 34, "character": { "id": 10, "first_name": "Jill", "last_name": "Parker", "full_name": "Jill Parker" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "I don't recall saying that.", "dialogue": "I don't recall saying that." }, { "id": 552, "line_number": 35, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Oh come on.", "dialogue": "Oh come on." }, { "id": 553, "line_number": 36, "character": { "id": 10, "first_name": "Jill", "last_name": "Parker", "full_name": "Jill Parker" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Yeah, all right then.", "dialogue": "Yeah, all right then." }, { "id": 554, "line_number": 37, "character": { "id": 2, "first_name": "Lynn", "last_name": "Benfield", "full_name": "Lynn Benfield" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Have a good night then.", "dialogue": "Have a good night then." }, { "id": 555, "line_number": 38, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "I will. _[Lynn walks off]_ I'll go and get another half bottle of champagne.", "dialogue": "I will. [Lynn walks off] I'll go and get another half bottle of champagne." }, { "id": 556, "line_number": 39, "character": { "id": 10, "first_name": "Jill", "last_name": "Parker", "full_name": "Jill Parker" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Yeah, go on then. _[Lynn walks back and hands Jill a canister of fungal foot powder]_", "dialogue": "Yeah, go on then. [Lynn walks back and hands Jill a canister of fungal foot powder]" }, { "id": 557, "line_number": 40, "character": { "id": 2, "first_name": "Lynn", "last_name": "Benfield", "full_name": "Lynn Benfield" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Could you give this to Alan, it's fungal foot powder. Now, he's got a condition so make sure he rubs it in his feet last thing at night and first thing in the morning. Only it just gets a little bit… smelly. _[Lynn leaves again]_", "dialogue": "Could you give this to Alan, it's fungal foot powder. Now, he's got a condition so make sure he rubs it in his feet last thing at night and first thing in the morning. Only it just gets a little bit… smelly. [Lynn leaves again]" }, { "id": 558, "line_number": 41, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "_[Walks back with some champagne]_ They've got some goats cheese over there. They've left it out for a couple of hours, so it's had a chance to breathe. _[Alan spots the fungal foot powder]_ Oh she remembered, great.", "dialogue": "[Walks back with some champagne] They've got some goats cheese over there. They've left it out for a couple of hours, so it's had a chance to breathe. [Alan spots the fungal foot powder] Oh she remembered, great." }, { "id": 559, "line_number": 42, "character": { "id": 10, "first_name": "Jill", "last_name": "Parker", "full_name": "Jill Parker" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Why don't we take these to your room?", "dialogue": "Why don't we take these to your room?" }, { "id": 560, "line_number": 43, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "My room. It's over there by the lifts. You link my arm we'll try and leave with some dignity. _[Alan and Jill head out of the restaurant, Alan grabs his big plate. They both head to Alan's room, walking past reception]_", "dialogue": "My room. It's over there by the lifts. You link my arm we'll try and leave with some dignity. [Alan and Jill head out of the restaurant, Alan grabs his big plate. They both head to Alan's room, walking past reception]" }, { "id": 561, "line_number": 44, "character": { "id": 3, "first_name": "Michael", "last_name": "the Geordie", "full_name": "Michael the Geordie" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Night night Mr Partridge.", "dialogue": "Night night Mr Partridge." }, { "id": 562, "line_number": 45, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Night.", "dialogue": "Night." }, { "id": 563, "line_number": 46, "character": { "id": 3, "first_name": "Michael", "last_name": "the Geordie", "full_name": "Michael the Geordie" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "And your good lady.", "dialogue": "And your good lady." }, { "id": 564, "line_number": 47, "character": { "id": 10, "first_name": "Jill", "last_name": "Parker", "full_name": "Jill Parker" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Michael.", "dialogue": "Michael." }, { "id": 565, "line_number": 48, "character": { "id": 7, "first_name": "Ben", "last_name": "Swain", "full_name": "Ben Swain" }, "custom_character_name": "and Sophie", "text": "Goodnight.", "dialogue": "Goodnight." }, { "id": 566, "line_number": 49, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Goodnight.", "dialogue": "Goodnight." }, { "id": 567, "line_number": 50, "character": { "id": 10, "first_name": "Jill", "last_name": "Parker", "full_name": "Jill Parker" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Goodnight.", "dialogue": "Goodnight." }, { "id": 568, "line_number": 51, "character": { "id": 5, "first_name": "Susan", "last_name": "Foster", "full_name": "Susan Foster" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Goodnight.", "dialogue": "Goodnight." }, { "id": 569, "line_number": 52, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Night.", "dialogue": "Night." }, { "id": 570, "line_number": 53, "character": { "id": 5, "first_name": "Susan", "last_name": "Foster", "full_name": "Susan Foster" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Got your big plate Alan?", "dialogue": "Got your big plate Alan?" }, { "id": 571, "line_number": 54, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Yeee-ees.", "dialogue": "Yeee-ees." } ] }, { "id": 34, "title": "Alan and Jill are in Alan's hotel room. Jill is in bed ready, and Alan has just finished prepping himself in the bathroom", "order_in_episode": 13, "image_url": null, "lines": [ { "id": 572, "line_number": 1, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "_[Emerges from the bathroom in his dressing gown]_ I wouldn't go in there for a bit, leave it about fifteen. Leave it about fifteen minutes.", "dialogue": "[Emerges from the bathroom in his dressing gown] I wouldn't go in there for a bit, leave it about fifteen. Leave it about fifteen minutes." }, { "id": 573, "line_number": 2, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "I must say, I'm tremendously excited by all this.", "dialogue": "I must say, I'm tremendously excited by all this." }, { "id": 574, "line_number": 3, "character": { "id": 10, "first_name": "Jill", "last_name": "Parker", "full_name": "Jill Parker" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "My sister's got this bed linen.", "dialogue": "My sister's got this bed linen." }, { "id": 575, "line_number": 4, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Oh yeah? Does she live in a Travel Tavern?", "dialogue": "Oh yeah? Does she live in a Travel Tavern?" }, { "id": 576, "line_number": 5, "character": { "id": 10, "first_name": "Jill", "last_name": "Parker", "full_name": "Jill Parker" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "No, she'd like to. It's nice, innit?", "dialogue": "No, she'd like to. It's nice, innit?" }, { "id": 577, "line_number": 6, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "No, it's a bloody nightmare. _[Alan places some money on the bed-side cabinet]_", "dialogue": "No, it's a bloody nightmare. [Alan places some money on the bed-side cabinet]" }, { "id": 578, "line_number": 7, "character": { "id": 10, "first_name": "Jill", "last_name": "Parker", "full_name": "Jill Parker" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Is that for me Alan?", "dialogue": "Is that for me Alan?" }, { "id": 579, "line_number": 8, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "That? Oh god no! No, I always put my money there of an evening. If it was you could add a zero to that. Seven pounds six, you know.", "dialogue": "That? Oh god no! No, I always put my money there of an evening. If it was you could add a zero to that. Seven pounds six, you know." }, { "id": 580, "line_number": 9, "character": { "id": 10, "first_name": "Jill", "last_name": "Parker", "full_name": "Jill Parker" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Seventy quid?", "dialogue": "Seventy quid?" }, { "id": 581, "line_number": 10, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Well, no. Double it.", "dialogue": "Well, no. Double it." }, { "id": 582, "line_number": 11, "character": { "id": 10, "first_name": "Jill", "last_name": "Parker", "full_name": "Jill Parker" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "It's still cheap.", "dialogue": "It's still cheap." }, { "id": 583, "line_number": 12, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "I'm not haggling! I was trying to pay you a compliment. Unless I've grossly misread the situation. It was my understanding in the lift that no money would change hands.", "dialogue": "I'm not haggling! I was trying to pay you a compliment. Unless I've grossly misread the situation. It was my understanding in the lift that no money would change hands." }, { "id": 584, "line_number": 13, "character": { "id": 10, "first_name": "Jill", "last_name": "Parker", "full_name": "Jill Parker" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "I'm all yours!", "dialogue": "I'm all yours!" }, { "id": 585, "line_number": 14, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Err. D'you mind if I turn the light out?", "dialogue": "Err. D'you mind if I turn the light out?" }, { "id": 586, "line_number": 15, "character": { "id": 10, "first_name": "Jill", "last_name": "Parker", "full_name": "Jill Parker" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Well can't you just dim it a bit?", "dialogue": "Well can't you just dim it a bit?" }, { "id": 587, "line_number": 16, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Yeah, ok. Bit more. Bit more. How's that? _[Light is completely turned off]_", "dialogue": "Yeah, ok. Bit more. Bit more. How's that? [Light is completely turned off]" }, { "id": 588, "line_number": 17, "character": { "id": 10, "first_name": "Jill", "last_name": "Parker", "full_name": "Jill Parker" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Yeah that'll do.", "dialogue": "Yeah that'll do." }, { "id": 589, "line_number": 18, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Right. Let battle commence!", "dialogue": "Right. Let battle commence!" }, { "id": 590, "line_number": 19, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Do you like me doing that? Shall I do it more quickly or shall I maintain the same speed.", "dialogue": "Do you like me doing that? Shall I do it more quickly or shall I maintain the same speed." }, { "id": 591, "line_number": 20, "character": { "id": 10, "first_name": "Jill", "last_name": "Parker", "full_name": "Jill Parker" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "That's fine.", "dialogue": "That's fine." }, { "id": 592, "line_number": 21, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Right, shall I move onto the other one?", "dialogue": "Right, shall I move onto the other one?" }, { "id": 593, "line_number": 22, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Oh, that's lovely. That's first class. That is superb! Oh, there you go it's all happening. Jill, I'm afraid I have no sheaths.", "dialogue": "Oh, that's lovely. That's first class. That is superb! Oh, there you go it's all happening. Jill, I'm afraid I have no sheaths." }, { "id": 594, "line_number": 23, "character": { "id": 10, "first_name": "Jill", "last_name": "Parker", "full_name": "Jill Parker" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "No what?", "dialogue": "No what?" }, { "id": 595, "line_number": 24, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Sheaths. Err, prophylactics. You know, 'Rubber Johnnies'. Actually, being your age and everything there's probably no need for them. I'm talking about the menopau… oooh Jill you know your onions! Do you mind if I talk? It helps me keep the wolf from the door, so to speak. Jill, what do you think of the pedestrianisation of Norwich city centre? I'll be honest; I'm dead against it. People forget traders need access to Diiiiixons. They do say it will help people on Wheeeeeeeelchairs.", "dialogue": "Sheaths. Err, prophylactics. You know, 'Rubber Johnnies'. Actually, being your age and everything there's probably no need for them. I'm talking about the menopau… oooh Jill you know your onions! Do you mind if I talk? It helps me keep the wolf from the door, so to speak. Jill, what do you think of the pedestrianisation of Norwich city centre? I'll be honest; I'm dead against it. People forget traders need access to Diiiiixons. They do say it will help people on Wheeeeeeeelchairs." }, { "id": 596, "line_number": 25, "character": { "id": 10, "first_name": "Jill", "last_name": "Parker", "full_name": "Jill Parker" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Hang on, I've got an idea.", "dialogue": "Hang on, I've got an idea." }, { "id": 597, "line_number": 26, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Jill, what are you doing? For God's sake Jill, what are you doing? Jill! For God's sake!", "dialogue": "Jill, what are you doing? For God's sake Jill, what are you doing? Jill! For God's sake!" }, { "id": 598, "line_number": 27, "character": { "id": 10, "first_name": "Jill", "last_name": "Parker", "full_name": "Jill Parker" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "I just thought I'd pour chocolate mousse all over you.", "dialogue": "I just thought I'd pour chocolate mousse all over you." }, { "id": 599, "line_number": 28, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "You've got it on the bed sheets, you've got it on my dressing gown. You've got it on the valance.", "dialogue": "You've got it on the bed sheets, you've got it on my dressing gown. You've got it on the valance." }, { "id": 600, "line_number": 29, "character": { "id": 10, "first_name": "Jill", "last_name": "Parker", "full_name": "Jill Parker" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "On the what?", "dialogue": "On the what?" }, { "id": 601, "line_number": 30, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "The skirt thing round the side of the bed.", "dialogue": "The skirt thing round the side of the bed." }, { "id": 602, "line_number": 31, "character": { "id": 10, "first_name": "Jill", "last_name": "Parker", "full_name": "Jill Parker" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "I thought it'd be erotic.", "dialogue": "I thought it'd be erotic." }, { "id": 603, "line_number": 32, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Oh Jill! Mousse from a bowl is very nice, but to put it on a person is demented!", "dialogue": "Oh Jill! Mousse from a bowl is very nice, but to put it on a person is demented!" }, { "id": 604, "line_number": 33, "character": { "id": 10, "first_name": "Jill", "last_name": "Parker", "full_name": "Jill Parker" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Come on, it's only a bit of chocolate.", "dialogue": "Come on, it's only a bit of chocolate." }, { "id": 605, "line_number": 34, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "It may be chocolate to you, Jill, but to an unwitting member of staff this could look like some sort of dirty protest against the standard of service in the hotel, which I happen to think is very good. I mean, it's not five-star, but it's certainly competitive.", "dialogue": "It may be chocolate to you, Jill, but to an unwitting member of staff this could look like some sort of dirty protest against the standard of service in the hotel, which I happen to think is very good. I mean, it's not five-star, but it's certainly competitive." } ] }, { "id": 35, "title": "Michael arrives after hearing a commotion in Alan's room, and checks to see if everything is OK", "order_in_episode": 14, "image_url": null, "lines": [ { "id": 606, "line_number": 1, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "_[Hears a knock at the door]_ Oh god. _[Opens the door]_ Yes?", "dialogue": "[Hears a knock at the door] Oh god. [Opens the door] Yes?" }, { "id": 607, "line_number": 2, "character": { "id": 3, "first_name": "Michael", "last_name": "the Geordie", "full_name": "Michael the Geordie" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Is everything alright Mr Partridge, I heard a bit of a commotion.", "dialogue": "Is everything alright Mr Partridge, I heard a bit of a commotion." }, { "id": 608, "line_number": 3, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "No no, it's fine.", "dialogue": "No no, it's fine." }, { "id": 609, "line_number": 4, "character": { "id": 3, "first_name": "Michael", "last_name": "the Geordie", "full_name": "Michael the Geordie" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Oh right. Erm. D'you know you've got chocolate on your face?", "dialogue": "Oh right. Erm. D'you know you've got chocolate on your face?" }, { "id": 610, "line_number": 5, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Yeah. I've just been eating some mousse.", "dialogue": "Yeah. I've just been eating some mousse." }, { "id": 611, "line_number": 6, "character": { "id": 3, "first_name": "Michael", "last_name": "the Geordie", "full_name": "Michael the Geordie" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Oh, right right. Fine. Aye, well you've missed a bit.", "dialogue": "Oh, right right. Fine. Aye, well you've missed a bit." }, { "id": 612, "line_number": 7, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Deal with it later.", "dialogue": "Deal with it later." }, { "id": 613, "line_number": 8, "character": { "id": 3, "first_name": "Michael", "last_name": "the Geordie", "full_name": "Michael the Geordie" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Hey, it reminds me of this time you know, we camouflaged ourselves up 'cause we were doing jungle exercises out in Belize", "dialogue": "Hey, it reminds me of this time you know, we camouflaged ourselves up 'cause we were doing jungle exercises out in Belize" }, { "id": 614, "line_number": 9, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Michael, can we talk about this in the morning?", "dialogue": "Michael, can we talk about this in the morning?" }, { "id": 615, "line_number": 10, "character": { "id": 3, "first_name": "Michael", "last_name": "the Geordie", "full_name": "Michael the Geordie" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Err, well no I won't be on in the morning 'cause I'm dee'ing lates now right. So I don't come on 'til aboot two o'clock, so, you know.", "dialogue": "Err, well no I won't be on in the morning 'cause I'm dee'ing lates now right. So I don't come on 'til aboot two o'clock, so, you know." }, { "id": 616, "line_number": 11, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Well you know, 'When de booa-t comes in'. Now bugger off.", "dialogue": "Well you know, 'When de booa-t comes in'. Now bugger off." }, { "id": 617, "line_number": 12, "character": { "id": 3, "first_name": "Michael", "last_name": "the Geordie", "full_name": "Michael the Geordie" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Ok! Message understood sir!", "dialogue": "Ok! Message understood sir!" }, { "id": 618, "line_number": 13, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Stand down, at ease. You're not in the army any more.", "dialogue": "Stand down, at ease. You're not in the army any more." } ] }, { "id": 36, "title": "Alan is back at Radio Norwich, doing his morning show. Jill is listening to him in the taxi on her way home", "order_in_episode": 15, "image_url": null, "lines": [ { "id": 619, "line_number": 1, "character": { "id": 35, "first_name": "Announcer", "last_name": null, "full_name": "Announcer" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Across the Ouse to the Waveney. This is Radio Norwich.", "dialogue": "Across the Ouse to the Waveney. This is Radio Norwich." }, { "id": 620, "line_number": 2, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": "to his listeners", "text": "And now it's time for 'Alan's Love Bud'. This is a story of a woman, fifty, and a chap in his early forties. This woman enraptured this man. Made him feel sixteen again. He thought \"I'm gonna wear a T-shirt with Crowded House written on the front of it\". He thought \"Yes, I will buy that copy of Punch magazine\". But then, she committed a gross act upon his person, which was tantamount to vandalism. But he realised that not only must they part company, but that he must also sack her from her job as his receptionist. I didn't mention that earlier but part of the problem was that she did work for him and he had to sack her anyway. Anyway, he thanks her for that stolen afternoon. But even though it was stolen, it's not your property, love. You've got to give it back. So just to re-emphasise one more time. Her contract HAS been terminated. This is 'Hot Chocolate', It Started With A Kiss. _[Song starts]_. Three minutes' time I'll be talking to Norfolk's youngest butcher! _[Alan starts singing]_ It started with a kiss! Never thought it would come to this. Started with a kiss! Never thought it would come to this. _[Chorus begins, he misses the first few lyrics]_ DO YOU? You don't remember me DO YOU? _[The lyrics pause but Alan thinks he's singing the next part correctly]_ You don't remember me DO YOU? Oh.", "dialogue": "And now it's time for 'Alan's Love Bud'. This is a story of a woman, fifty, and a chap in his early forties. This woman enraptured this man. Made him feel sixteen again. He thought \"I'm gonna wear a T-shirt with Crowded House written on the front of it\". He thought \"Yes, I will buy that copy of Punch magazine\". But then, she committed a gross act upon his person, which was tantamount to vandalism. But he realised that not only must they part company, but that he must also sack her from her job as his receptionist. I didn't mention that earlier but part of the problem was that she did work for him and he had to sack her anyway. Anyway, he thanks her for that stolen afternoon. But even though it was stolen, it's not your property, love. You've got to give it back. So just to re-emphasise one more time. Her contract HAS been terminated. This is 'Hot Chocolate', It Started With A Kiss. [Song starts]. Three minutes' time I'll be talking to Norfolk's youngest butcher! [Alan starts singing] It started with a kiss! Never thought it would come to this. Started with a kiss! Never thought it would come to this. [Chorus begins, he misses the first few lyrics] DO YOU? You don't remember me DO YOU? [The lyrics pause but Alan thinks he's singing the next part correctly] You don't remember me DO YOU? Oh." } ] } ], "links": { "self": "https://alanpartridgescripts.co.uk/api/v1/episodes/im-alan-partridge/series-1/episode-2-alan-attraction", "web": "https://alanpartridgescripts.co.uk/im-alan-partridge/series-1/episode-2-alan-attraction" } } }