{ "data": { "id": 5, "title": "To Kill a Mocking Alan", "slug": "episode-5-to-kill-a-mocking-alan", "episode_number": 5, "episode_code": "S01E05", "overview": "Alan puts on a Sunday afternoon version of his show at the hotel and invites some Irish TV executives over to watch it.", "description": "Two Irish TV executives are visiting Alan to discuss possibilities for future projects. Alan tries to impress them with his knowledge of Irish things and his \"An Afternoon with Alan Partridge\" event held in the conference room at the Travel Tavern. Unfortunately his guest, Sue Cook, pulls out, leaving Alan to entertain his mostly elderly audience by himself. Also present is Jed, who is Alan's biggest fan and willing to help out in any way he can.", "first_aired": "1997-12-01T00:00:00.000Z", "intro_image_url": null, "series": { "id": 1, "title": "I'm Alan Partridge: Series 1", "slug": "series-1", "series_number": 1, "series_code": "S01", "programme": { "id": 1, "title": "I'm Alan Partridge", "slug": "im-alan-partridge", "links": { "self": "https://alanpartridgescripts.co.uk/api/v1/programmes/im-alan-partridge.json" } }, "links": { "self": "https://alanpartridgescripts.co.uk/api/v1/series/im-alan-partridge/series-1.json", "web": "https://alanpartridgescripts.co.uk/im-alan-partridge/series-1" } }, "scenes": [ { "id": 79, "title": "Alan is in the Radio Norwich studio, doing his early morning radio show, \"Up With The Partridge\"", "order_in_episode": 1, "image_url": null, "lines": [ { "id": 1193, "line_number": 1, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": "to his listeners", "text": "That was Orchestral Manoeuvres in the Dark with some classic electro-rock from their album \"Architecture and Morality\". Two subjects I'm sure we can discuss all night. Indeed the lines are open if you want to call, make a comment on either architecture or morality, two equally hot, but differently-shaped potatoes. Chips and… crinkle-cut chips. So give me a call – PLEASE! Seriously though, DO give me a call. It's 4:50am, the Queen is dead, long live the King's Singers.", "dialogue": "That was Orchestral Manoeuvres in the Dark with some classic electro-rock from their album \"Architecture and Morality\". Two subjects I'm sure we can discuss all night. Indeed the lines are open if you want to call, make a comment on either architecture or morality, two equally hot, but differently-shaped potatoes. Chips and… crinkle-cut chips. So give me a call – PLEASE! Seriously though, DO give me a call. It's 4:50am, the Queen is dead, long live the King's Singers." }, { "id": 1194, "line_number": 2, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Now we've had several calls during the last few hours, about a humorous comment I made some time ago. Just to reassure you, the Queen is not dead. It was a humorous intro into a song which seems to have been taken a bit too literally by one or two listeners, and a newspaper. So just to repeat, Queen Elizabeth II is not dead. Unless she went in the night and is yet to be discovered by the maid. Just coming up to seven o'clock. Gadzooks! It's the noble Sir David Clifton of Radioshire. Good morning to you, sir.", "dialogue": "Now we've had several calls during the last few hours, about a humorous comment I made some time ago. Just to reassure you, the Queen is not dead. It was a humorous intro into a song which seems to have been taken a bit too literally by one or two listeners, and a newspaper. So just to repeat, Queen Elizabeth II is not dead. Unless she went in the night and is yet to be discovered by the maid. Just coming up to seven o'clock. Gadzooks! It's the noble Sir David Clifton of Radioshire. Good morning to you, sir." }, { "id": 1195, "line_number": 3, "character": { "id": 4, "first_name": "Dave", "last_name": "Clifton", "full_name": "Dave Clifton" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Arise, Sir Alan of Partridge.", "dialogue": "Arise, Sir Alan of Partridge." }, { "id": 1196, "line_number": 4, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Shall we stop talking in this medieval way? What's on your show today, Dave?", "dialogue": "Shall we stop talking in this medieval way? What's on your show today, Dave?" }, { "id": 1197, "line_number": 5, "character": { "id": 4, "first_name": "Dave", "last_name": "Clifton", "full_name": "Dave Clifton" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Right. Get dialling. If you want to try and cross the Clifton suspension quiz, the prize money has soared to an incredible £11,000.", "dialogue": "Right. Get dialling. If you want to try and cross the Clifton suspension quiz, the prize money has soared to an incredible £11,000." }, { "id": 1198, "line_number": 6, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": "_[Fantasising about lap dancing]_", "text": "You're sexy. Sorry.", "dialogue": "You're sexy. Sorry." }, { "id": 1199, "line_number": 7, "character": { "id": 4, "first_name": "Dave", "last_name": "Clifton", "full_name": "Dave Clifton" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Yes! I didn't know you cared, Alan! That was OAP, Old Alan Partridge.", "dialogue": "Yes! I didn't know you cared, Alan! That was OAP, Old Alan Partridge." }, { "id": 1200, "line_number": 8, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "I'm not old! I'm 43, you cheeky git!", "dialogue": "I'm not old! I'm 43, you cheeky git!" }, { "id": 1201, "line_number": 9, "character": { "id": 4, "first_name": "Dave", "last_name": "Clifton", "full_name": "Dave Clifton" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "And this is Blue Oyster Cult, from the album \"Agents Of Fortune\"", "dialogue": "And this is Blue Oyster Cult, from the album \"Agents Of Fortune\"" } ] }, { "id": 80, "title": "Alan is at the Travel Tavern, heading over to Michael to check on the announcement board for his afternoon show", "order_in_episode": 2, "image_url": null, "lines": [ { "id": 1202, "line_number": 1, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": "_[Singing War of the Worlds]_", "text": "The chances of anything coming from Mars, are a million to one…", "dialogue": "The chances of anything coming from Mars, are a million to one…" }, { "id": 1203, "line_number": 2, "character": { "id": 3, "first_name": "Michael", "last_name": "the Geordie", "full_name": "Michael the Geordie" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Aye, morning.", "dialogue": "Aye, morning." }, { "id": 1204, "line_number": 3, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": "_[Finger raised indicating he doesn't want to be interrupted]_", "text": "But still they come.", "dialogue": "But still they come." }, { "id": 1205, "line_number": 4, "character": { "id": 3, "first_name": "Michael", "last_name": "the Geordie", "full_name": "Michael the Geordie" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Morning, Mr Partridge. Hey \"War of the Worlds\".", "dialogue": "Morning, Mr Partridge. Hey \"War of the Worlds\"." }, { "id": 1206, "line_number": 5, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "\"Wild Woods\"?", "dialogue": "\"Wild Woods\"?" }, { "id": 1207, "line_number": 6, "character": { "id": 3, "first_name": "Michael", "last_name": "the Geordie", "full_name": "Michael the Geordie" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "No, no. \"War of the Worlds\". I'm playing guess the tune.", "dialogue": "No, no. \"War of the Worlds\". I'm playing guess the tune." }, { "id": 1208, "line_number": 7, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Oh, \"War of the Worlds\", that's right, yes.", "dialogue": "Oh, \"War of the Worlds\", that's right, yes." }, { "id": 1209, "line_number": 8, "character": { "id": 3, "first_name": "Michael", "last_name": "the Geordie", "full_name": "Michael the Geordie" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "So what do you reckon? \"3PM — An Afternoon with Alan Partridge, with special celebrity guest star, Sue Cook.\"", "dialogue": "So what do you reckon? \"3PM — An Afternoon with Alan Partridge, with special celebrity guest star, Sue Cook.\"" }, { "id": 1210, "line_number": 9, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Yeah. Could you just put \"Plus Sue Cook\"? I suppose the good thing about this is you can't hear your Geordie accent on the board. You should turn this into a sandwich board, and you could press onto your chest what you're trying to say. Sort of a primitive form of Stephen Hawking's voice box. The good thing about Stephen Hawking is, he is clear.", "dialogue": "Yeah. Could you just put \"Plus Sue Cook\"? I suppose the good thing about this is you can't hear your Geordie accent on the board. You should turn this into a sandwich board, and you could press onto your chest what you're trying to say. Sort of a primitive form of Stephen Hawking's voice box. The good thing about Stephen Hawking is, he is clear." } ] }, { "id": 81, "title": "Alan leaves Michael to ponder, and heads over to reception, where Jed Maxwell is obtaining his ticket for the afternoon show", "order_in_episode": 3, "image_url": null, "lines": [ { "id": 1211, "line_number": 1, "character": { "id": 16, "first_name": "Jed", "last_name": "Maxwell", "full_name": "Jed Maxwell" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "It's you isn't it? You're Alan Partridge.", "dialogue": "It's you isn't it? You're Alan Partridge." }, { "id": 1212, "line_number": 2, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Yes, I am.", "dialogue": "Yes, I am." }, { "id": 1213, "line_number": 3, "character": { "id": 16, "first_name": "Jed", "last_name": "Maxwell", "full_name": "Jed Maxwell" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "I don't believe it! I'm your biggest fan. I'm coming to your afternoon. I've got my ticket. Shake my hand!", "dialogue": "I don't believe it! I'm your biggest fan. I'm coming to your afternoon. I've got my ticket. Shake my hand!" }, { "id": 1214, "line_number": 4, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "There you go.", "dialogue": "There you go." }, { "id": 1215, "line_number": 5, "character": { "id": 16, "first_name": "Jed", "last_name": "Maxwell", "full_name": "Jed Maxwell" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "What's it about then, Alan?", "dialogue": "What's it about then, Alan?" }, { "id": 1216, "line_number": 6, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "It's basically a TV show that's not on TV.", "dialogue": "It's basically a TV show that's not on TV." }, { "id": 1217, "line_number": 7, "character": { "id": 16, "first_name": "Jed", "last_name": "Maxwell", "full_name": "Jed Maxwell" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Really?", "dialogue": "Really?" }, { "id": 1218, "line_number": 8, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "It's like Kilroy, but with tea, Wagon Wheels and Sue Cook.", "dialogue": "It's like Kilroy, but with tea, Wagon Wheels and Sue Cook." }, { "id": 1219, "line_number": 9, "character": { "id": 16, "first_name": "Jed", "last_name": "Maxwell", "full_name": "Jed Maxwell" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Oh brilliant! I can't tell you what a pleasure it is to shake your hand.", "dialogue": "Oh brilliant! I can't tell you what a pleasure it is to shake your hand." }, { "id": 1220, "line_number": 10, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "I can see that, you're obviously enjoying yourself.", "dialogue": "I can see that, you're obviously enjoying yourself." }, { "id": 1221, "line_number": 11, "character": { "id": 16, "first_name": "Jed", "last_name": "Maxwell", "full_name": "Jed Maxwell" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Yeah!", "dialogue": "Yeah!" }, { "id": 1222, "line_number": 12, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "You're not going to let it go are you?", "dialogue": "You're not going to let it go are you?" }, { "id": 1223, "line_number": 13, "character": { "id": 16, "first_name": "Jed", "last_name": "Maxwell", "full_name": "Jed Maxwell" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "No!", "dialogue": "No!" }, { "id": 1224, "line_number": 14, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Can I have it back?", "dialogue": "Can I have it back?" }, { "id": 1225, "line_number": 15, "character": { "id": 16, "first_name": "Jed", "last_name": "Maxwell", "full_name": "Jed Maxwell" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "It's so nice that you let your fans have a chance to meet you. A lot of them don't. They forget it's fans like us that make you what you are.", "dialogue": "It's so nice that you let your fans have a chance to meet you. A lot of them don't. They forget it's fans like us that make you what you are." }, { "id": 1226, "line_number": 16, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "I don't actually agree with that. I know some people do, but I don't.", "dialogue": "I don't actually agree with that. I know some people do, but I don't." }, { "id": 1227, "line_number": 17, "character": { "id": 16, "first_name": "Jed", "last_name": "Maxwell", "full_name": "Jed Maxwell" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "I couldn't ask you for your autograph could I?", "dialogue": "I couldn't ask you for your autograph could I?" }, { "id": 1228, "line_number": 18, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Yes, certainly. What's your name?", "dialogue": "Yes, certainly. What's your name?" }, { "id": 1229, "line_number": 19, "character": { "id": 16, "first_name": "Jed", "last_name": "Maxwell", "full_name": "Jed Maxwell" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Jed, Jed Maxwell.", "dialogue": "Jed, Jed Maxwell." }, { "id": 1230, "line_number": 20, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Jed Maxwell. You're no relation to Robert Maxwell?", "dialogue": "Jed Maxwell. You're no relation to Robert Maxwell?" }, { "id": 1231, "line_number": 21, "character": { "id": 16, "first_name": "Jed", "last_name": "Maxwell", "full_name": "Jed Maxwell" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "No.", "dialogue": "No." }, { "id": 1232, "line_number": 22, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "You're not going to go all fat and steal my pension?", "dialogue": "You're not going to go all fat and steal my pension?" }, { "id": 1233, "line_number": 23, "character": { "id": 16, "first_name": "Jed", "last_name": "Maxwell", "full_name": "Jed Maxwell" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "No.", "dialogue": "No." }, { "id": 1234, "line_number": 24, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Just a joke.", "dialogue": "Just a joke." }, { "id": 1235, "line_number": 25, "character": { "id": 16, "first_name": "Jed", "last_name": "Maxwell", "full_name": "Jed Maxwell" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "I'm so excited.", "dialogue": "I'm so excited." }, { "id": 1236, "line_number": 26, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Actually. Could you ask me for this later in front of some important people?", "dialogue": "Actually. Could you ask me for this later in front of some important people?" }, { "id": 1237, "line_number": 27, "character": { "id": 16, "first_name": "Jed", "last_name": "Maxwell", "full_name": "Jed Maxwell" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "You've done it now.", "dialogue": "You've done it now." }, { "id": 1238, "line_number": 28, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Yeah, but it just says \"To Jed Maxwell from Alan\".", "dialogue": "Yeah, but it just says \"To Jed Maxwell from Alan\"." }, { "id": 1239, "line_number": 29, "character": { "id": 16, "first_name": "Jed", "last_name": "Maxwell", "full_name": "Jed Maxwell" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "It's better, it sounds like you know me.", "dialogue": "It's better, it sounds like you know me." }, { "id": 1240, "line_number": 30, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Right OK, well there you go \"To Jed Maxwell from Alan Smith\". Who's he? Never heard of him. I'm expecting two television executives from RTE who are coming over from Dublin. We're going to be brunching in there.", "dialogue": "Right OK, well there you go \"To Jed Maxwell from Alan Smith\". Who's he? Never heard of him. I'm expecting two television executives from RTE who are coming over from Dublin. We're going to be brunching in there." }, { "id": 1241, "line_number": 31, "character": { "id": 16, "first_name": "Jed", "last_name": "Maxwell", "full_name": "Jed Maxwell" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Can I shake your hand again?", "dialogue": "Can I shake your hand again?" }, { "id": 1242, "line_number": 32, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "No. You've had enough of that. It would make me look very important if you would ask for my autograph in front of them. You know, and shake my hand… later!", "dialogue": "No. You've had enough of that. It would make me look very important if you would ask for my autograph in front of them. You know, and shake my hand… later!" }, { "id": 1243, "line_number": 33, "character": { "id": 16, "first_name": "Jed", "last_name": "Maxwell", "full_name": "Jed Maxwell" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Never you mind, Alan. You can rely on me.", "dialogue": "Never you mind, Alan. You can rely on me." }, { "id": 1244, "line_number": 34, "character": { "id": 16, "first_name": "Jed", "last_name": "Maxwell", "full_name": "Jed Maxwell" }, "custom_character_name": "to Susan", "text": "It's Alan Partridge! I can't believe it!", "dialogue": "It's Alan Partridge! I can't believe it!" }, { "id": 1245, "line_number": 35, "character": { "id": 16, "first_name": "Jed", "last_name": "Maxwell", "full_name": "Jed Maxwell" }, "custom_character_name": "to Alan", "text": "Ahh, you haven't lost it Alan. I don't care what they say. See you later.", "dialogue": "Ahh, you haven't lost it Alan. I don't care what they say. See you later." } ] }, { "id": 82, "title": "Alan, at the reception desk, has his regular morning chat with the staff", "order_in_episode": 4, "image_url": null, "lines": [ { "id": 1246, "line_number": 1, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": "to Susan", "text": "Susan. Hmm, that's a nice smell. Is that new perfume?", "dialogue": "Susan. Hmm, that's a nice smell. Is that new perfume?" }, { "id": 1247, "line_number": 2, "character": { "id": 5, "first_name": "Susan", "last_name": "Foster", "full_name": "Susan Foster" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Yes it is.", "dialogue": "Yes it is." }, { "id": 1248, "line_number": 3, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Ahh, it's very nice. What is it?", "dialogue": "Ahh, it's very nice. What is it?" }, { "id": 1249, "line_number": 4, "character": { "id": 5, "first_name": "Susan", "last_name": "Foster", "full_name": "Susan Foster" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Well my fiancé bought it…", "dialogue": "Well my fiancé bought it…" }, { "id": 1250, "line_number": 5, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Yeah, I didn't ask you who bought it for you, I just asked you what it is.", "dialogue": "Yeah, I didn't ask you who bought it for you, I just asked you what it is." }, { "id": 1251, "line_number": 6, "character": { "id": 5, "first_name": "Susan", "last_name": "Foster", "full_name": "Susan Foster" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "It's Ralph Lauren.", "dialogue": "It's Ralph Lauren." }, { "id": 1252, "line_number": 7, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Can I have a sniff?", "dialogue": "Can I have a sniff?" }, { "id": 1253, "line_number": 8, "character": { "id": 5, "first_name": "Susan", "last_name": "Foster", "full_name": "Susan Foster" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Yeah, sure.", "dialogue": "Yeah, sure." }, { "id": 1254, "line_number": 9, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": "_[Sniffing Susan's neck]_", "text": "Actually, sorry. I shouldn't touch members of staff. Unless I'm reprimanding them, and then I'll put you across my knee and smack your bare bottoms.", "dialogue": "Actually, sorry. I shouldn't touch members of staff. Unless I'm reprimanding them, and then I'll put you across my knee and smack your bare bottoms." }, { "id": 1255, "line_number": 10, "character": { "id": 6, "first_name": "Sophie", "last_name": "the receptionist", "full_name": "Sophie the receptionist" }, "custom_character_name": "to Alan", "text": "Oh, there was a call for you. A Mr Nishead rang.", "dialogue": "Oh, there was a call for you. A Mr Nishead rang." }, { "id": 1256, "line_number": 11, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Right, never heard of him. Did he leave a first name?", "dialogue": "Right, never heard of him. Did he leave a first name?" }, { "id": 1257, "line_number": 12, "character": { "id": 6, "first_name": "Sophie", "last_name": "the receptionist", "full_name": "Sophie the receptionist" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "No. It was just a Mr P Nishead.", "dialogue": "No. It was just a Mr P Nishead." }, { "id": 1258, "line_number": 13, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Sophie, that's a crank call. It's another crank call.", "dialogue": "Sophie, that's a crank call. It's another crank call." }, { "id": 1259, "line_number": 14, "character": { "id": 6, "first_name": "Sophie", "last_name": "the receptionist", "full_name": "Sophie the receptionist" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Is it?", "dialogue": "Is it?" }, { "id": 1260, "line_number": 15, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Read it back to yourself.", "dialogue": "Read it back to yourself." }, { "id": 1261, "line_number": 16, "character": { "id": 6, "first_name": "Sophie", "last_name": "the receptionist", "full_name": "Sophie the receptionist" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Oh yeah. I can see what he's done now. Shall I put it on the list with all the others?", "dialogue": "Oh yeah. I can see what he's done now. Shall I put it on the list with all the others?" }, { "id": 1262, "line_number": 17, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "If you would. Actually, can I have a look at that list, I want to get to the bottom of this. Mr G String. Mr Nick Hers, Y Fronts. Mr T Osser. That doesn't even work. Mr B Oddie, this is Bill Oddie. It's not a crank call. Why have you put it on there?", "dialogue": "If you would. Actually, can I have a look at that list, I want to get to the bottom of this. Mr G String. Mr Nick Hers, Y Fronts. Mr T Osser. That doesn't even work. Mr B Oddie, this is Bill Oddie. It's not a crank call. Why have you put it on there?" }, { "id": 1263, "line_number": 18, "character": { "id": 5, "first_name": "Susan", "last_name": "Foster", "full_name": "Susan Foster" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Well, we thought it looked like \"body\".", "dialogue": "Well, we thought it looked like \"body\"." }, { "id": 1264, "line_number": 19, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "What's rude about a body?", "dialogue": "What's rude about a body?" }, { "id": 1265, "line_number": 20, "character": { "id": 6, "first_name": "Sophie", "last_name": "the receptionist", "full_name": "Sophie the receptionist" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Tits?", "dialogue": "Tits?" }, { "id": 1266, "line_number": 21, "character": null, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "_[Ben enters the scene, adjusting his tie]_", "dialogue": "[Ben enters the scene, adjusting his tie]" }, { "id": 1267, "line_number": 22, "character": { "id": 7, "first_name": "Ben", "last_name": "Swain", "full_name": "Ben Swain" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Good morning, Sophie.", "dialogue": "Good morning, Sophie." }, { "id": 1268, "line_number": 23, "character": { "id": 6, "first_name": "Sophie", "last_name": "the receptionist", "full_name": "Sophie the receptionist" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Good morning, Ben. Did you sleep well?", "dialogue": "Good morning, Ben. Did you sleep well?" }, { "id": 1269, "line_number": 24, "character": { "id": 7, "first_name": "Ben", "last_name": "Swain", "full_name": "Ben Swain" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Yeah. It was a good night last night, wasn't it?", "dialogue": "Yeah. It was a good night last night, wasn't it?" }, { "id": 1270, "line_number": 25, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "If you're professional and you know you're working in the morning, then you would have got your head down about midnight?", "dialogue": "If you're professional and you know you're working in the morning, then you would have got your head down about midnight?" }, { "id": 1271, "line_number": 26, "character": { "id": 7, "first_name": "Ben", "last_name": "Swain", "full_name": "Ben Swain" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Yeah. I got my head down all right.", "dialogue": "Yeah. I got my head down all right." }, { "id": 1272, "line_number": 27, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "I've had some pretty late night sessions myself. Yeah. In 1976, I saw ELO at the Birmingham NEC. I was there shouting with everyone else \"Come back on, ELO, and carry on playing!\".", "dialogue": "I've had some pretty late night sessions myself. Yeah. In 1976, I saw ELO at the Birmingham NEC. I was there shouting with everyone else \"Come back on, ELO, and carry on playing!\"." }, { "id": 1273, "line_number": 28, "character": { "id": 5, "first_name": "Susan", "last_name": "Foster", "full_name": "Susan Foster" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Alan, your PA's arrived", "dialogue": "Alan, your PA's arrived" } ] }, { "id": 83, "title": "Lynn arrives with a heavy box containing the Alan Partridge tie and blazer badge combination packs and the Wagon Wheels", "order_in_episode": 5, "image_url": null, "lines": [ { "id": 1274, "line_number": 1, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Lynn, let me take that. Right, Alan Partridge tie and blazer badge, and the Wagon Wheels. Excellent. There you go", "dialogue": "Lynn, let me take that. Right, Alan Partridge tie and blazer badge, and the Wagon Wheels. Excellent. There you go" }, { "id": 1275, "line_number": 2, "character": { "id": 7, "first_name": "Ben", "last_name": "Swain", "full_name": "Ben Swain" }, "custom_character_name": "to Lynn", "text": "Can I take that for you?", "dialogue": "Can I take that for you?" }, { "id": 1276, "line_number": 3, "character": { "id": 2, "first_name": "Lynn", "last_name": "Benfield", "full_name": "Lynn Benfield" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Oh, how very thoughtful.", "dialogue": "Oh, how very thoughtful." }, { "id": 1277, "line_number": 4, "character": { "id": 7, "first_name": "Ben", "last_name": "Swain", "full_name": "Ben Swain" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "You're welcome.", "dialogue": "You're welcome." }, { "id": 1278, "line_number": 5, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "I'll take it, I'll take it.", "dialogue": "I'll take it, I'll take it." }, { "id": 1279, "line_number": 6, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "This'll happen to you when you hit 40.", "dialogue": "This'll happen to you when you hit 40." }, { "id": 1280, "line_number": 7, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": "to Lynn", "text": "It's cutting into my fingers", "dialogue": "It's cutting into my fingers" }, { "id": 1281, "line_number": 8, "character": { "id": 2, "first_name": "Lynn", "last_name": "Benfield", "full_name": "Lynn Benfield" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Oh, I'm so sorry.", "dialogue": "Oh, I'm so sorry." }, { "id": 1282, "line_number": 9, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Can you smell my breath?", "dialogue": "Can you smell my breath?" }, { "id": 1283, "line_number": 10, "character": { "id": 2, "first_name": "Lynn", "last_name": "Benfield", "full_name": "Lynn Benfield" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "It smells a bit like gas.", "dialogue": "It smells a bit like gas." }, { "id": 1284, "line_number": 11, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "You know what that is, don't you?", "dialogue": "You know what that is, don't you?" }, { "id": 1285, "line_number": 12, "character": { "id": 2, "first_name": "Lynn", "last_name": "Benfield", "full_name": "Lynn Benfield" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "No?", "dialogue": "No?" }, { "id": 1286, "line_number": 13, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "It's those scotch eggs we had at the petrol station last night. What time was that?", "dialogue": "It's those scotch eggs we had at the petrol station last night. What time was that?" }, { "id": 1287, "line_number": 14, "character": { "id": 2, "first_name": "Lynn", "last_name": "Benfield", "full_name": "Lynn Benfield" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "About quarter to 11.", "dialogue": "About quarter to 11." }, { "id": 1288, "line_number": 15, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Yeah, it's going to be in the system till about four.", "dialogue": "Yeah, it's going to be in the system till about four." }, { "id": 1289, "line_number": 16, "character": { "id": 2, "first_name": "Lynn", "last_name": "Benfield", "full_name": "Lynn Benfield" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Right, I'll buy a packet of mints.", "dialogue": "Right, I'll buy a packet of mints." } ] }, { "id": 84, "title": "Alan receives a phone call from Sue Cook telling him that she won't be able to make it", "order_in_episode": 6, "image_url": null, "lines": [ { "id": 1290, "line_number": 1, "character": { "id": 5, "first_name": "Susan", "last_name": "Foster", "full_name": "Susan Foster" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Excuse me, Alan? There's an urgent call for you.", "dialogue": "Excuse me, Alan? There's an urgent call for you." }, { "id": 1291, "line_number": 2, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Right. You go on up, Lynn.", "dialogue": "Right. You go on up, Lynn." }, { "id": 1292, "line_number": 3, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": "on the phone", "text": "Hello? Right. Well, where are you? Oh, come on! Oh this is… Oh, that's bang out of order! Whoa, take a look in the mirror! What? Pardon? No, I've got a better idea, why don't you shove it up your arse? _[Slams down the phone]_ Sue Cook's pulled out.", "dialogue": "Hello? Right. Well, where are you? Oh, come on! Oh this is… Oh, that's bang out of order! Whoa, take a look in the mirror! What? Pardon? No, I've got a better idea, why don't you shove it up your arse? [Slams down the phone] Sue Cook's pulled out." }, { "id": 1293, "line_number": 4, "character": null, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "_[Alan heads over to Michael]_", "dialogue": "[Alan heads over to Michael]" }, { "id": 1294, "line_number": 5, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": "to Michael", "text": "Michael, change that to \"An Afternoon with Just Alan Partridge\".", "dialogue": "Michael, change that to \"An Afternoon with Just Alan Partridge\"." }, { "id": 1295, "line_number": 6, "character": { "id": 3, "first_name": "Michael", "last_name": "the Geordie", "full_name": "Michael the Geordie" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "OK. Roger and out.", "dialogue": "OK. Roger and out." }, { "id": 1296, "line_number": 7, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "We're not on short-wave radio. Actually, it is quite eye-catching. I suppose that's the opposite of what you were taught in the army. You know, camouflage.", "dialogue": "We're not on short-wave radio. Actually, it is quite eye-catching. I suppose that's the opposite of what you were taught in the army. You know, camouflage." }, { "id": 1297, "line_number": 8, "character": { "id": 3, "first_name": "Michael", "last_name": "the Geordie", "full_name": "Michael the Geordie" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Aye. Well, I also done this course at the Army School of Commando Training. What we had to do was target identification, right. You had to gang into this big building, full of people. You have to identify the hostages and the terrorists, and take out the terrorists. I've sort of employed it here, like.", "dialogue": "Aye. Well, I also done this course at the Army School of Commando Training. What we had to do was target identification, right. You had to gang into this big building, full of people. You have to identify the hostages and the terrorists, and take out the terrorists. I've sort of employed it here, like." }, { "id": 1298, "line_number": 9, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Do you know, I know exactly what you mean. Because, a couple of weeks ago, I was doing a corporate for Allied Dunbar. Afterwards a bunch of us went down to Laser Quest. In there, very scary, seconds count. You know, really quick on the draw, quick on the draw!", "dialogue": "Do you know, I know exactly what you mean. Because, a couple of weeks ago, I was doing a corporate for Allied Dunbar. Afterwards a bunch of us went down to Laser Quest. In there, very scary, seconds count. You know, really quick on the draw, quick on the draw!" }, { "id": 1299, "line_number": 10, "character": { "id": 3, "first_name": "Michael", "last_name": "the Geordie", "full_name": "Michael the Geordie" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "No, no, you see. Look, here. If you ever find yourself in a situation with a concealed weapon, right. What you want to dee is, when you draw your weapon…", "dialogue": "No, no, you see. Look, here. If you ever find yourself in a situation with a concealed weapon, right. What you want to dee is, when you draw your weapon…" }, { "id": 1300, "line_number": 11, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "It's great this, I love this.", "dialogue": "It's great this, I love this." }, { "id": 1301, "line_number": 12, "character": { "id": 3, "first_name": "Michael", "last_name": "the Geordie", "full_name": "Michael the Geordie" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "It's nee laughing matter. When you draw your weapon, right, draw your weapon make it as smooth as you possibly can. So draw, hold, fix and fire, and then just move and fire, and move and fire, and move and fire, and move and fire!…", "dialogue": "It's nee laughing matter. When you draw your weapon, right, draw your weapon make it as smooth as you possibly can. So draw, hold, fix and fire, and then just move and fire, and move and fire, and move and fire, and move and fire!…" }, { "id": 1302, "line_number": 13, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Get back in the lift, Lynn!", "dialogue": "Get back in the lift, Lynn!" }, { "id": 1303, "line_number": 14, "character": { "id": 3, "first_name": "Michael", "last_name": "the Geordie", "full_name": "Michael the Geordie" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Reload! I'm up!", "dialogue": "Reload! I'm up!" }, { "id": 1304, "line_number": 15, "character": { "id": 5, "first_name": "Susan", "last_name": "Foster", "full_name": "Susan Foster" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "MICHAEL! What do you think you're doing?", "dialogue": "MICHAEL! What do you think you're doing?" }, { "id": 1305, "line_number": 16, "character": { "id": 3, "first_name": "Michael", "last_name": "the Geordie", "full_name": "Michael the Geordie" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "I'm sorry.", "dialogue": "I'm sorry." }, { "id": 1306, "line_number": 17, "character": { "id": 3, "first_name": "Michael", "last_name": "the Geordie", "full_name": "Michael the Geordie" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "So, do you want us to take out Sue Cook for you?", "dialogue": "So, do you want us to take out Sue Cook for you?" }, { "id": 1307, "line_number": 18, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "God no! Oh, I see!", "dialogue": "God no! Oh, I see!" } ] }, { "id": 85, "title": "Alan is sitting down in the Travel Tavern restaurant, having brunch with the executives from RTE", "order_in_episode": 7, "image_url": null, "lines": [ { "id": 1308, "line_number": 1, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "I must say, I'm very grateful you've come over. Big fans of all the Irish, stuff. I love your pop music. Enya… and the other one. Ripped up the Pope. Bald chap. And I think, that's it.", "dialogue": "I must say, I'm very grateful you've come over. Big fans of all the Irish, stuff. I love your pop music. Enya… and the other one. Ripped up the Pope. Bald chap. And I think, that's it." }, { "id": 1309, "line_number": 2, "character": { "id": 17, "first_name": "Aidan", "last_name": "Walsh", "full_name": "Aidan Walsh" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Well, there's U2, of course.", "dialogue": "Well, there's U2, of course." }, { "id": 1310, "line_number": 3, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Yeah, U2. Oh, fantastic. Sunday Bloody Sunday. Really encapsulates the frustration of a Sunday. You wake up in the morning, you've got to read all the Sunday papers. The kids are running around. You've got to mow the lawn, wash the car, and you think \"Sunday, bloody Sunday!\"", "dialogue": "Yeah, U2. Oh, fantastic. Sunday Bloody Sunday. Really encapsulates the frustration of a Sunday. You wake up in the morning, you've got to read all the Sunday papers. The kids are running around. You've got to mow the lawn, wash the car, and you think \"Sunday, bloody Sunday!\"" }, { "id": 1311, "line_number": 4, "character": { "id": 17, "first_name": "Aidan", "last_name": "Walsh", "full_name": "Aidan Walsh" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "I really hate to do this to you, Alan, but it's actually a song about…", "dialogue": "I really hate to do this to you, Alan, but it's actually a song about…" }, { "id": 1312, "line_number": 5, "character": { "id": 18, "first_name": "Paul", "last_name": "Custer", "full_name": "Paul Custer" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Yeah. Bloody Sunday is actually about a massacre in Derry in 1972.", "dialogue": "Yeah. Bloody Sunday is actually about a massacre in Derry in 1972." }, { "id": 1313, "line_number": 6, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Massacre. Urgh! Not playing that again.", "dialogue": "Massacre. Urgh! Not playing that again." }, { "id": 1314, "line_number": 7, "character": { "id": 17, "first_name": "Aidan", "last_name": "Walsh", "full_name": "Aidan Walsh" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "I must say, this is a really horrible hotel. Who stays in a place like this.", "dialogue": "I must say, this is a really horrible hotel. Who stays in a place like this." }, { "id": 1315, "line_number": 8, "character": { "id": 18, "first_name": "Paul", "last_name": "Custer", "full_name": "Paul Custer" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Terrible. It's so sterile here.", "dialogue": "Terrible. It's so sterile here." }, { "id": 1316, "line_number": 9, "character": { "id": 2, "first_name": "Lynn", "last_name": "Benfield", "full_name": "Lynn Benfield" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Yes, it is.", "dialogue": "Yes, it is." }, { "id": 1317, "line_number": 10, "character": { "id": 17, "first_name": "Aidan", "last_name": "Walsh", "full_name": "Aidan Walsh" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "The staff are polite, but it's as if their smiles are…", "dialogue": "The staff are polite, but it's as if their smiles are…" }, { "id": 1318, "line_number": 11, "character": { "id": 2, "first_name": "Lynn", "last_name": "Benfield", "full_name": "Lynn Benfield" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Painted on.", "dialogue": "Painted on." }, { "id": 1319, "line_number": 12, "character": { "id": 17, "first_name": "Aidan", "last_name": "Walsh", "full_name": "Aidan Walsh" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Yeah, exactly.", "dialogue": "Yeah, exactly." }, { "id": 1320, "line_number": 13, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Yeah, they are. It's very false, isn't it? I mean the great thing about this hotel is its situation. It's equidistant between London and Norwich. That's the genius of its location. Even though I do hate it and I don't live here, I just pop in for breakfast.", "dialogue": "Yeah, they are. It's very false, isn't it? I mean the great thing about this hotel is its situation. It's equidistant between London and Norwich. That's the genius of its location. Even though I do hate it and I don't live here, I just pop in for breakfast." }, { "id": 1321, "line_number": 14, "character": { "id": 5, "first_name": "Susan", "last_name": "Foster", "full_name": "Susan Foster" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Hello, Alan.", "dialogue": "Hello, Alan." }, { "id": 1322, "line_number": 15, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Which is why she knows my name. Hello, Susan. Just clocking the name tag there. Can we have four full British Isles breakfasts, please?", "dialogue": "Which is why she knows my name. Hello, Susan. Just clocking the name tag there. Can we have four full British Isles breakfasts, please?" }, { "id": 1323, "line_number": 16, "character": { "id": 5, "first_name": "Susan", "last_name": "Foster", "full_name": "Susan Foster" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Certainly.", "dialogue": "Certainly." }, { "id": 1324, "line_number": 17, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Yeah. You robot! I wouldn't be surprised if she went into the kitchen, opened her chest up, stuck in a screw driver and turned her smile up. It's a nice chest, but full of wires.", "dialogue": "Yeah. You robot! I wouldn't be surprised if she went into the kitchen, opened her chest up, stuck in a screw driver and turned her smile up. It's a nice chest, but full of wires." }, { "id": 1325, "line_number": 18, "character": { "id": 17, "first_name": "Aidan", "last_name": "Walsh", "full_name": "Aidan Walsh" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Do you smell gas?", "dialogue": "Do you smell gas?" }, { "id": 1326, "line_number": 19, "character": { "id": 2, "first_name": "Lynn", "last_name": "Benfield", "full_name": "Lynn Benfield" }, "custom_character_name": "to Alan", "text": "Do you want a mint?", "dialogue": "Do you want a mint?" }, { "id": 1327, "line_number": 20, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "The food will probably…", "dialogue": "The food will probably…" }, { "id": 1328, "line_number": 21, "character": { "id": 2, "first_name": "Lynn", "last_name": "Benfield", "full_name": "Lynn Benfield" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "It will just break it down.", "dialogue": "It will just break it down." }, { "id": 1329, "line_number": 22, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Break it down, yes. Actually, I'll pop and get some ruby grapefruit juice, that'll help too.", "dialogue": "Break it down, yes. Actually, I'll pop and get some ruby grapefruit juice, that'll help too." }, { "id": 1330, "line_number": 23, "character": { "id": 2, "first_name": "Lynn", "last_name": "Benfield", "full_name": "Lynn Benfield" }, "custom_character_name": "to the RTE executives", "text": "Where are you from in Ireland?", "dialogue": "Where are you from in Ireland?" }, { "id": 1331, "line_number": 24, "character": { "id": 18, "first_name": "Paul", "last_name": "Custer", "full_name": "Paul Custer" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Well, Aidan is from Celbridge, which is near Dublin. And I'm originally from West Cork.", "dialogue": "Well, Aidan is from Celbridge, which is near Dublin. And I'm originally from West Cork." }, { "id": 1332, "line_number": 25, "character": { "id": 2, "first_name": "Lynn", "last_name": "Benfield", "full_name": "Lynn Benfield" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Oh, whereabouts?", "dialogue": "Oh, whereabouts?" }, { "id": 1333, "line_number": 26, "character": { "id": 18, "first_name": "Paul", "last_name": "Custer", "full_name": "Paul Custer" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "You know Skibbereen?", "dialogue": "You know Skibbereen?" }, { "id": 1334, "line_number": 27, "character": { "id": 2, "first_name": "Lynn", "last_name": "Benfield", "full_name": "Lynn Benfield" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Oh, Skibbereen! Oh, I used to go there as a little child. And I used to go on nature trails, and I used to spot flowers. And Mummy used to say…", "dialogue": "Oh, Skibbereen! Oh, I used to go there as a little child. And I used to go on nature trails, and I used to spot flowers. And Mummy used to say…" }, { "id": 1335, "line_number": 28, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "There we go. Ruby grapefruit juice. I thought I'd take the whole jug in case it's all quaffed by R2D2 over there.", "dialogue": "There we go. Ruby grapefruit juice. I thought I'd take the whole jug in case it's all quaffed by R2D2 over there." }, { "id": 1336, "line_number": 29, "character": { "id": 5, "first_name": "Susan", "last_name": "Foster", "full_name": "Susan Foster" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Tea, coffee?", "dialogue": "Tea, coffee?" }, { "id": 1337, "line_number": 30, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Tea or coffee, tea or coffee. Four teas please.", "dialogue": "Tea or coffee, tea or coffee. Four teas please." }, { "id": 1338, "line_number": 31, "character": { "id": 17, "first_name": "Aidan", "last_name": "Walsh", "full_name": "Aidan Walsh" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "You ever been to Ireland, Alan?", "dialogue": "You ever been to Ireland, Alan?" }, { "id": 1339, "line_number": 32, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "No, no. I'd love to go.", "dialogue": "No, no. I'd love to go." }, { "id": 1340, "line_number": 33, "character": { "id": 17, "first_name": "Aidan", "last_name": "Walsh", "full_name": "Aidan Walsh" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "It amazes me when people say that and it's only 49 quid on a plane.", "dialogue": "It amazes me when people say that and it's only 49 quid on a plane." }, { "id": 1341, "line_number": 34, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Yeah. I think that's what puts me off. Well, that's the small talk. Now let's get down to business. Now, your programme… what's de big oi-dea.", "dialogue": "Yeah. I think that's what puts me off. Well, that's the small talk. Now let's get down to business. Now, your programme… what's de big oi-dea." }, { "id": 1342, "line_number": 35, "character": { "id": 18, "first_name": "Paul", "last_name": "Custer", "full_name": "Paul Custer" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Well the \"big oi-dea\" is we want to produce a show that appeals to modern, mainstream audiences on both sides of the Irish sea…", "dialogue": "Well the \"big oi-dea\" is we want to produce a show that appeals to modern, mainstream audiences on both sides of the Irish sea…" }, { "id": 1343, "line_number": 36, "character": null, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "_[Alan falls into another daydream, this time he fantasises about lap dancing for the RTE executives, who are dressed as IRA terrorists]_", "dialogue": "[Alan falls into another daydream, this time he fantasises about lap dancing for the RTE executives, who are dressed as IRA terrorists]" }, { "id": 1344, "line_number": 37, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": "_[in his fantasy]_", "text": "Ooooh! Scary Irish men! Would you like to recruit me? I like your berets. They're worn by Saddam Hussein, Frank Spencer and the French.", "dialogue": "Ooooh! Scary Irish men! Would you like to recruit me? I like your berets. They're worn by Saddam Hussein, Frank Spencer and the French." }, { "id": 1345, "line_number": 38, "character": null, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "_[Alan snaps out of his daydream]_", "dialogue": "[Alan snaps out of his daydream]" }, { "id": 1346, "line_number": 39, "character": { "id": 18, "first_name": "Paul", "last_name": "Custer", "full_name": "Paul Custer" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "_[Continuing]_ …the culture of both countries.", "dialogue": "[Continuing] …the culture of both countries." }, { "id": 1347, "line_number": 40, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "I think the Irish are going through a major image change. I mean, the old image of leprechauns, shamrock, Guinness. Horses running through council estates. Toothless simpletons. People with eyebrows on their cheeks. Badly tarmacked drives, in this country. Men in platform shoes being arrested for bombings. Lots of rocks, and Beamish. I think people are saying \"Yes, there's more to Ireland than this\". A good slogan for the tourist board \"There's more to Oi-reland, DAN DIS.\".", "dialogue": "I think the Irish are going through a major image change. I mean, the old image of leprechauns, shamrock, Guinness. Horses running through council estates. Toothless simpletons. People with eyebrows on their cheeks. Badly tarmacked drives, in this country. Men in platform shoes being arrested for bombings. Lots of rocks, and Beamish. I think people are saying \"Yes, there's more to Ireland than this\". A good slogan for the tourist board \"There's more to Oi-reland, DAN DIS.\"." }, { "id": 1348, "line_number": 41, "character": { "id": 5, "first_name": "Susan", "last_name": "Foster", "full_name": "Susan Foster" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "There we go.", "dialogue": "There we go." }, { "id": 1349, "line_number": 42, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Thanks very much. You blonde bastard… From the future.", "dialogue": "Thanks very much. You blonde bastard… From the future." }, { "id": 1350, "line_number": 43, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "This looks disgusting. Still, might as well eat it. So, how many people were killed in the Irish famine?", "dialogue": "This looks disgusting. Still, might as well eat it. So, how many people were killed in the Irish famine?" }, { "id": 1351, "line_number": 44, "character": { "id": 17, "first_name": "Aidan", "last_name": "Walsh", "full_name": "Aidan Walsh" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Erm. Two million, and another two million had to leave the country.", "dialogue": "Erm. Two million, and another two million had to leave the country." }, { "id": 1352, "line_number": 45, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Right. If it was just the potatoes that were affected, at the end of the day, you will pay the price if you are a fussy eater. If they could afford to emigrate, then they could afford to eat in a modest restaurant. Could we come live from the Blarney Stone? I'm trying to get an angle on this.", "dialogue": "Right. If it was just the potatoes that were affected, at the end of the day, you will pay the price if you are a fussy eater. If they could afford to emigrate, then they could afford to eat in a modest restaurant. Could we come live from the Blarney Stone? I'm trying to get an angle on this." } ] }, { "id": 86, "title": "Alan is sitting down in the Travel Tavern restaurant, having brunch with the executives from RTE (continued)", "order_in_episode": 8, "image_url": null, "lines": [ { "id": 1353, "line_number": 1, "character": { "id": 18, "first_name": "Paul", "last_name": "Custer", "full_name": "Paul Custer" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "You see, Alan. I think you are increasingly moving towards an area we want to move away from.", "dialogue": "You see, Alan. I think you are increasingly moving towards an area we want to move away from." }, { "id": 1354, "line_number": 2, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Yep, you're absolutely right. Live TV can blow up in your face. Sorry about that. You must be sick of that.", "dialogue": "Yep, you're absolutely right. Live TV can blow up in your face. Sorry about that. You must be sick of that." }, { "id": 1355, "line_number": 3, "character": { "id": 17, "first_name": "Aidan", "last_name": "Walsh", "full_name": "Aidan Walsh" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Of what?", "dialogue": "Of what?" }, { "id": 1356, "line_number": 4, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "You know, being blown up, bombs.", "dialogue": "You know, being blown up, bombs." }, { "id": 1357, "line_number": 5, "character": { "id": 17, "first_name": "Aidan", "last_name": "Walsh", "full_name": "Aidan Walsh" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "I'm from Dublin. Not in Dublin.", "dialogue": "I'm from Dublin. Not in Dublin." }, { "id": 1358, "line_number": 6, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "But that's where you make them. You've come all this way, and it seems to me you are being a little bit negative.", "dialogue": "But that's where you make them. You've come all this way, and it seems to me you are being a little bit negative." }, { "id": 1359, "line_number": 7, "character": { "id": 17, "first_name": "Aidan", "last_name": "Walsh", "full_name": "Aidan Walsh" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "No, I was interested in something, earlier. Lynn, what you were talking about when you went to Skibbereen, as a child.", "dialogue": "No, I was interested in something, earlier. Lynn, what you were talking about when you went to Skibbereen, as a child." }, { "id": 1360, "line_number": 8, "character": { "id": 18, "first_name": "Paul", "last_name": "Custer", "full_name": "Paul Custer" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "That was interesting.", "dialogue": "That was interesting." }, { "id": 1361, "line_number": 9, "character": { "id": 17, "first_name": "Aidan", "last_name": "Walsh", "full_name": "Aidan Walsh" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "I think there might be something in that.", "dialogue": "I think there might be something in that." }, { "id": 1362, "line_number": 10, "character": { "id": 18, "first_name": "Paul", "last_name": "Custer", "full_name": "Paul Custer" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Yeah.", "dialogue": "Yeah." }, { "id": 1363, "line_number": 11, "character": { "id": 17, "first_name": "Aidan", "last_name": "Walsh", "full_name": "Aidan Walsh" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "I would be interested to know, if at the time, did you have any friends or cousins over, while you were there?", "dialogue": "I would be interested to know, if at the time, did you have any friends or cousins over, while you were there?" }, { "id": 1364, "line_number": 12, "character": null, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "_[Jed walks over to the table, while the RTE executives talk to Lynn]_", "dialogue": "[Jed walks over to the table, while the RTE executives talk to Lynn]" }, { "id": 1365, "line_number": 13, "character": { "id": 16, "first_name": "Jed", "last_name": "Maxwell", "full_name": "Jed Maxwell" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Excuse me, Mr Partridge, can I have your autograph, please?", "dialogue": "Excuse me, Mr Partridge, can I have your autograph, please?" }, { "id": 1366, "line_number": 14, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Certainly. What's your name?", "dialogue": "Certainly. What's your name?" }, { "id": 1367, "line_number": 15, "character": { "id": 16, "first_name": "Jed", "last_name": "Maxwell", "full_name": "Jed Maxwell" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Jed. Jed Maxwell.", "dialogue": "Jed. Jed Maxwell." }, { "id": 1368, "line_number": 16, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "_[Writing]_ To Jed Maxwell, from Alan Partridge.", "dialogue": "[Writing] To Jed Maxwell, from Alan Partridge." }, { "id": 1369, "line_number": 17, "character": { "id": 16, "first_name": "Jed", "last_name": "Maxwell", "full_name": "Jed Maxwell" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Thanks very much.", "dialogue": "Thanks very much." }, { "id": 1370, "line_number": 18, "character": null, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "_[Alan, unhappy that the RTE executives are more interested in Lynn breathes around the table with his gassy breath. Everyone is set back]_", "dialogue": "[Alan, unhappy that the RTE executives are more interested in Lynn breathes around the table with his gassy breath. Everyone is set back]" } ] }, { "id": 87, "title": "Alan is conducting his \"Afternoon With Alan Partridge\" in one of the Travel Tavern conference rooms", "order_in_episode": 9, "image_url": null, "lines": [ { "id": 1371, "line_number": 1, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": "to the audience", "text": "_[Alan is standing behind a screen in front of a keyboard, which is playing \"Knowing Me, Knowing You\"]_ A-ha! Good Afternoon. _[Music starts playing again]_ Sorry. _[Alan heads back behind the screen trying to stop the keyboard from playing]_ Sorry about that. Couple of gremlins in the system there. Ghosts in the machine. Perhaps a metaphor for… Good evening. Afternoon. I might as well say this now, Sue Cook has pulled out. _[The audience groan]_ So if anyone wants to leave, then please, now's the time. _[A couple of people leave]_ Amazing, absolutely amazing.", "dialogue": "[Alan is standing behind a screen in front of a keyboard, which is playing \"Knowing Me, Knowing You\"] A-ha! Good Afternoon. [Music starts playing again] Sorry. [Alan heads back behind the screen trying to stop the keyboard from playing] Sorry about that. Couple of gremlins in the system there. Ghosts in the machine. Perhaps a metaphor for… Good evening. Afternoon. I might as well say this now, Sue Cook has pulled out. [The audience groan] So if anyone wants to leave, then please, now's the time. [A couple of people leave] Amazing, absolutely amazing." }, { "id": 1372, "line_number": 2, "character": null, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "_[Cuts to a shot where Alan is doing a Q and A session]_", "dialogue": "[Cuts to a shot where Alan is doing a Q and A session]" }, { "id": 1373, "line_number": 3, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Question from the person over there.", "dialogue": "Question from the person over there." }, { "id": 1374, "line_number": 4, "character": { "id": 33, "first_name": "Woman", "last_name": null, "full_name": "Woman" }, "custom_character_name": "1", "text": "Has your career gone off the rails a bit?", "dialogue": "Has your career gone off the rails a bit?" }, { "id": 1375, "line_number": 5, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "No, not you, the woman behind you.", "dialogue": "No, not you, the woman behind you." }, { "id": 1376, "line_number": 6, "character": { "id": 33, "first_name": "Woman", "last_name": null, "full_name": "Woman" }, "custom_character_name": "2", "text": "Are you in favour of the death penalty?", "dialogue": "Are you in favour of the death penalty?" }, { "id": 1377, "line_number": 7, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Yes, I am. For treason and murder.", "dialogue": "Yes, I am. For treason and murder." }, { "id": 1378, "line_number": 8, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": "to the audience", "text": "Say \"Pedestrianisation of Norwich city centre\" to anyone, and they'll probably look blankly at you… _[Two men open the door to the room and peer their heads around to look what's going on]_ Hello? _[The two men leave]_ Why do people do that?", "dialogue": "Say \"Pedestrianisation of Norwich city centre\" to anyone, and they'll probably look blankly at you… [Two men open the door to the room and peer their heads around to look what's going on] Hello? [The two men leave] Why do people do that?" }, { "id": 1379, "line_number": 9, "character": null, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "_[The Q and A session is continuing, but Alan is sitting on a sofa, relaxed]_", "dialogue": "[The Q and A session is continuing, but Alan is sitting on a sofa, relaxed]" }, { "id": 1380, "line_number": 10, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": "to the audience", "text": "Very clever men. Both very clever men, but I don't trust them. Gerry Adams looks like a deputy headmaster and Martin McGuinness looks like a clown without make-up.", "dialogue": "Very clever men. Both very clever men, but I don't trust them. Gerry Adams looks like a deputy headmaster and Martin McGuinness looks like a clown without make-up." }, { "id": 1381, "line_number": 11, "character": null, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "_[Alan is demonstrating disarming a terrorist on an old woman]_", "dialogue": "[Alan is demonstrating disarming a terrorist on an old woman]" }, { "id": 1382, "line_number": 12, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": "to the audience", "text": "OK. Let's recap. Draw the gun from the holster, knock the safety catch off, there's one in the chamber, and move and fire and move and fire and move and fire. The terrorist is disorientated from the stun grenades. He doesn't know what's going on. Remember the double-tap, bang, bang. We have to neutralise the threat by incapacitating the target and we do that in two areas. The chest area, here. Anywhere down the central line, all the major organs are kept, we get one there, he's going down. If you're near enough you can take a head shot. Again, he's going down.", "dialogue": "OK. Let's recap. Draw the gun from the holster, knock the safety catch off, there's one in the chamber, and move and fire and move and fire and move and fire. The terrorist is disorientated from the stun grenades. He doesn't know what's going on. Remember the double-tap, bang, bang. We have to neutralise the threat by incapacitating the target and we do that in two areas. The chest area, here. Anywhere down the central line, all the major organs are kept, we get one there, he's going down. If you're near enough you can take a head shot. Again, he's going down." }, { "id": 1383, "line_number": 13, "character": null, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "_[Alan is closing his Q and A session]_", "dialogue": "[Alan is closing his Q and A session]" }, { "id": 1384, "line_number": 14, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": "to the audience", "text": "Right, I think we've got time for just one more question. Lady at the back.", "dialogue": "Right, I think we've got time for just one more question. Lady at the back." }, { "id": 1385, "line_number": 15, "character": { "id": 2, "first_name": "Lynn", "last_name": "Benfield", "full_name": "Lynn Benfield" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Yes, Alan. I wondered if you had any more Alan Partridge tie and blazer badge combination packs available.", "dialogue": "Yes, Alan. I wondered if you had any more Alan Partridge tie and blazer badge combination packs available." }, { "id": 1386, "line_number": 16, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Yes, I do; as a matter of fact, I've got one here. There we go. They're available at the back, or reception priced £19.99, £20. The penny's just a price rhetoric. Some of the boxes are a bit faded, but I was made promises about storage that were not kept. So that's all from me. Thank you very much. Goodbye. Sorry, got to go.", "dialogue": "Yes, I do; as a matter of fact, I've got one here. There we go. They're available at the back, or reception priced £19.99, £20. The penny's just a price rhetoric. Some of the boxes are a bit faded, but I was made promises about storage that were not kept. So that's all from me. Thank you very much. Goodbye. Sorry, got to go." } ] }, { "id": 88, "title": "The RTE executives have seen enough and plan on leaving the hotel. Alan catches up with them in the hotel reception area", "order_in_episode": 10, "image_url": null, "lines": [ { "id": 1387, "line_number": 1, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Ahh, there you are. So, what did you think?", "dialogue": "Ahh, there you are. So, what did you think?" }, { "id": 1388, "line_number": 2, "character": { "id": 17, "first_name": "Aidan", "last_name": "Walsh", "full_name": "Aidan Walsh" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Well, I wouldn't be depressed.", "dialogue": "Well, I wouldn't be depressed." }, { "id": 1389, "line_number": 3, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "I'm not.", "dialogue": "I'm not." }, { "id": 1390, "line_number": 4, "character": { "id": 17, "first_name": "Aidan", "last_name": "Walsh", "full_name": "Aidan Walsh" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "When you were berating that old woman, I…", "dialogue": "When you were berating that old woman, I…" }, { "id": 1391, "line_number": 5, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Did you see the look on her face? Classic", "dialogue": "Did you see the look on her face? Classic" }, { "id": 1392, "line_number": 6, "character": { "id": 17, "first_name": "Aidan", "last_name": "Walsh", "full_name": "Aidan Walsh" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "She was really frightened.", "dialogue": "She was really frightened." }, { "id": 1393, "line_number": 7, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Yeah. I know!", "dialogue": "Yeah. I know!" }, { "id": 1394, "line_number": 8, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "So, perhaps we could go and chat about all my other ideas in my room.", "dialogue": "So, perhaps we could go and chat about all my other ideas in my room." }, { "id": 1395, "line_number": 9, "character": { "id": 18, "first_name": "Paul", "last_name": "Custer", "full_name": "Paul Custer" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "In your room?", "dialogue": "In your room?" }, { "id": 1396, "line_number": 10, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "In my room, in my house. Where I live.", "dialogue": "In my room, in my house. Where I live." }, { "id": 1397, "line_number": 11, "character": { "id": 17, "first_name": "Aidan", "last_name": "Walsh", "full_name": "Aidan Walsh" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Right, where's your house?", "dialogue": "Right, where's your house?" }, { "id": 1398, "line_number": 12, "character": { "id": 16, "first_name": "Jed", "last_name": "Maxwell", "full_name": "Jed Maxwell" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Just down the road. Our house.", "dialogue": "Just down the road. Our house." }, { "id": 1399, "line_number": 13, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Yeah. Do you remember that man who came up and asked for my autograph earlier?", "dialogue": "Yeah. Do you remember that man who came up and asked for my autograph earlier?" }, { "id": 1400, "line_number": 14, "character": { "id": 17, "first_name": "Aidan", "last_name": "Walsh", "full_name": "Aidan Walsh" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "No.", "dialogue": "No." }, { "id": 1401, "line_number": 15, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Good. This is Jed, he's my driver.", "dialogue": "Good. This is Jed, he's my driver." }, { "id": 1402, "line_number": 16, "character": { "id": 17, "first_name": "Aidan", "last_name": "Walsh", "full_name": "Aidan Walsh" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Oh. Hello, Jed.", "dialogue": "Oh. Hello, Jed." }, { "id": 1403, "line_number": 17, "character": { "id": 16, "first_name": "Jed", "last_name": "Maxwell", "full_name": "Jed Maxwell" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "How do you do. And business partner.", "dialogue": "How do you do. And business partner." }, { "id": 1404, "line_number": 18, "character": { "id": 18, "first_name": "Paul", "last_name": "Custer", "full_name": "Paul Custer" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Hello.", "dialogue": "Hello." }, { "id": 1405, "line_number": 19, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "And we live together. We're not gay! I've nothing against them, it's just, as I see it, God created Adam and Eve. He didn't create Adam and Steve. I'm kind of a homo-sceptic.", "dialogue": "And we live together. We're not gay! I've nothing against them, it's just, as I see it, God created Adam and Eve. He didn't create Adam and Steve. I'm kind of a homo-sceptic." }, { "id": 1406, "line_number": 20, "character": { "id": 17, "first_name": "Aidan", "last_name": "Walsh", "full_name": "Aidan Walsh" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Right, well, whatever. I just would like to get out of here.", "dialogue": "Right, well, whatever. I just would like to get out of here." }, { "id": 1407, "line_number": 21, "character": { "id": 18, "first_name": "Paul", "last_name": "Custer", "full_name": "Paul Custer" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Be nice to go.", "dialogue": "Be nice to go." }, { "id": 1408, "line_number": 22, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Let's go!", "dialogue": "Let's go!" }, { "id": 1409, "line_number": 23, "character": null, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "_[Jed taps Alan and holds out his hand for a handshake. Alan obliges but Jed keeps hold of his hand. Alan swipes his hand out of Jed's clasp]_", "dialogue": "[Jed taps Alan and holds out his hand for a handshake. Alan obliges but Jed keeps hold of his hand. Alan swipes his hand out of Jed's clasp]" } ] }, { "id": 89, "title": "Jed is chauffeuring Alan and the executives in Alan's car. They are heading to Jed's house", "order_in_episode": 11, "image_url": null, "lines": [ { "id": 1410, "line_number": 1, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Have you seen the film \"The Crying Game\"?", "dialogue": "Have you seen the film \"The Crying Game\"?" }, { "id": 1411, "line_number": 2, "character": { "id": 18, "first_name": "Paul", "last_name": "Custer", "full_name": "Paul Custer" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Yes, I saw it.", "dialogue": "Yes, I saw it." }, { "id": 1412, "line_number": 3, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Yeah. The woman with the old, er, tadger. I suppose the sequel will have a man with a fanny!", "dialogue": "Yeah. The woman with the old, er, tadger. I suppose the sequel will have a man with a fanny!" } ] }, { "id": 90, "title": "They all arrive at Jed's house", "order_in_episode": 12, "image_url": null, "lines": [ { "id": 1413, "line_number": 1, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "This is my house. Where I live. With Jed. After you. Bowl of bread there.", "dialogue": "This is my house. Where I live. With Jed. After you. Bowl of bread there." }, { "id": 1414, "line_number": 2, "character": { "id": 17, "first_name": "Aidan", "last_name": "Walsh", "full_name": "Aidan Walsh" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "What's that for?", "dialogue": "What's that for?" }, { "id": 1415, "line_number": 3, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Just, er… friends.", "dialogue": "Just, er… friends." }, { "id": 1416, "line_number": 4, "character": { "id": 16, "first_name": "Jed", "last_name": "Maxwell", "full_name": "Jed Maxwell" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "I'll put the kettle on.", "dialogue": "I'll put the kettle on." }, { "id": 1417, "line_number": 5, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Right. Erm. Shall we go into the…? Yes, the lounge. Grab a pew. There's only the one chair. The other one, burnt down. If Jed and I are both in the room at the same time, I tend to do this. Sort of lean on the wall, like that. Yeah, perched on the arm. That's a good one. I've tried that one.", "dialogue": "Right. Erm. Shall we go into the…? Yes, the lounge. Grab a pew. There's only the one chair. The other one, burnt down. If Jed and I are both in the room at the same time, I tend to do this. Sort of lean on the wall, like that. Yeah, perched on the arm. That's a good one. I've tried that one." }, { "id": 1418, "line_number": 6, "character": { "id": 17, "first_name": "Aidan", "last_name": "Walsh", "full_name": "Aidan Walsh" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Very nice picture of yourself on the TV.", "dialogue": "Very nice picture of yourself on the TV." }, { "id": 1419, "line_number": 7, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "I always leave this here, so that way I'm always on the telly.", "dialogue": "I always leave this here, so that way I'm always on the telly." }, { "id": 1420, "line_number": 8, "character": { "id": 18, "first_name": "Paul", "last_name": "Custer", "full_name": "Paul Custer" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Who's the other one?", "dialogue": "Who's the other one?" }, { "id": 1421, "line_number": 9, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "This is David Copperfield. Yes. He's the American magician. You know. \"I'm an American\". Yes. He claims to have made the Statue of Liberty disappear. But it's still there. Talking out of his arse.", "dialogue": "This is David Copperfield. Yes. He's the American magician. You know. \"I'm an American\". Yes. He claims to have made the Statue of Liberty disappear. But it's still there. Talking out of his arse." }, { "id": 1422, "line_number": 10, "character": { "id": 17, "first_name": "Aidan", "last_name": "Walsh", "full_name": "Aidan Walsh" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "_[Pointing to a tacky painting]_ Is that an original?", "dialogue": "[Pointing to a tacky painting] Is that an original?" }, { "id": 1423, "line_number": 11, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "I don't know why I bought this painting. This has got a very haunting quality. Man and machine. I mean, I often look at this in the morning and I think \"Oh, I'd like to kiss her\".", "dialogue": "I don't know why I bought this painting. This has got a very haunting quality. Man and machine. I mean, I often look at this in the morning and I think \"Oh, I'd like to kiss her\"." }, { "id": 1424, "line_number": 12, "character": { "id": 17, "first_name": "Aidan", "last_name": "Walsh", "full_name": "Aidan Walsh" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Actually, do you mind if I use your toilet?", "dialogue": "Actually, do you mind if I use your toilet?" }, { "id": 1425, "line_number": 13, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "By all means.", "dialogue": "By all means." }, { "id": 1426, "line_number": 14, "character": { "id": 17, "first_name": "Aidan", "last_name": "Walsh", "full_name": "Aidan Walsh" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Where is it?", "dialogue": "Where is it?" }, { "id": 1427, "line_number": 15, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Erm, well, I'll show you.", "dialogue": "Erm, well, I'll show you." }, { "id": 1428, "line_number": 16, "character": null, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "_[They all venture out of the living room]_", "dialogue": "[They all venture out of the living room]" }, { "id": 1429, "line_number": 17, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "This is the lobby. I like to read the Sunday papers in here.", "dialogue": "This is the lobby. I like to read the Sunday papers in here." }, { "id": 1430, "line_number": 18, "character": null, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "_[Alan ventures into another room, which is pitch black]_", "dialogue": "[Alan ventures into another room, which is pitch black]" }, { "id": 1431, "line_number": 19, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "I can never find the light switch in here. _[Paul switches the light on and reveals a room devoted to Alan, plastered with pictures]_ Oh, my God. I am such a bighead. Two things. One, presumably you think I'm a bit odd and you'd like to leave immediately?", "dialogue": "I can never find the light switch in here. [Paul switches the light on and reveals a room devoted to Alan, plastered with pictures] Oh, my God. I am such a bighead. Two things. One, presumably you think I'm a bit odd and you'd like to leave immediately?" }, { "id": 1432, "line_number": 20, "character": { "id": 17, "first_name": "Aidan", "last_name": "Walsh", "full_name": "Aidan Walsh" }, "custom_character_name": "and Paul", "text": "Yes.", "dialogue": "Yes." }, { "id": 1433, "line_number": 21, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "And two, can I come with you?", "dialogue": "And two, can I come with you?" }, { "id": 1434, "line_number": 22, "character": { "id": 17, "first_name": "Aidan", "last_name": "Walsh", "full_name": "Aidan Walsh" }, "custom_character_name": "and Paul", "text": "No.", "dialogue": "No." }, { "id": 1435, "line_number": 23, "character": { "id": 16, "first_name": "Jed", "last_name": "Maxwell", "full_name": "Jed Maxwell" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Tea's up. I'm sorry we've only got one mug, we don't get a lot of visitors. Well, you're the biggest so you better have the mug… _[Hands a large mug to Aidan]_ …You'll have to have this milk jug… _[Hands Paul the milk jug]_ …it's a bit like a mug only it's got a spout on it. I'll have the coffee jar, and there you go Alan _[Hands Alan a container that holds washing powder]_", "dialogue": "Tea's up. I'm sorry we've only got one mug, we don't get a lot of visitors. Well, you're the biggest so you better have the mug… [Hands a large mug to Aidan] …You'll have to have this milk jug… [Hands Paul the milk jug] …it's a bit like a mug only it's got a spout on it. I'll have the coffee jar, and there you go Alan [Hands Alan a container that holds washing powder]" }, { "id": 1436, "line_number": 24, "character": { "id": 18, "first_name": "Paul", "last_name": "Custer", "full_name": "Paul Custer" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "_[Points at Alan's drink]_ That's one of those ball things you have in washing machines?", "dialogue": "[Points at Alan's drink] That's one of those ball things you have in washing machines?" }, { "id": 1437, "line_number": 25, "character": { "id": 16, "first_name": "Jed", "last_name": "Maxwell", "full_name": "Jed Maxwell" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "That's right, it's called an Aerialator!", "dialogue": "That's right, it's called an Aerialator!" }, { "id": 1438, "line_number": 26, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Cheers! _[Takes a swig of tea]_ Yeah, I often think I should swallow this whole, and let it sort of slosh around my system, dispensing the coffee.", "dialogue": "Cheers! [Takes a swig of tea] Yeah, I often think I should swallow this whole, and let it sort of slosh around my system, dispensing the coffee." } ] }, { "id": 91, "title": "Aidan and Paul decide to leave, closing the door to the room behind them", "order_in_episode": 13, "image_url": null, "lines": [ { "id": 1439, "line_number": 1, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "_[Not aware the RTE executives have left]_ …The trouble is, it would be quite difficult to swallow…", "dialogue": "[Not aware the RTE executives have left] …The trouble is, it would be quite difficult to swallow…" }, { "id": 1440, "line_number": 2, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Wh… wh… wh… Where have they gone?", "dialogue": "Wh… wh… wh… Where have they gone?" }, { "id": 1441, "line_number": 3, "character": { "id": 16, "first_name": "Jed", "last_name": "Maxwell", "full_name": "Jed Maxwell" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "You don't think my room scared them do you?", "dialogue": "You don't think my room scared them do you?" }, { "id": 1442, "line_number": 4, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "I think they might have found it a bit creepy.", "dialogue": "I think they might have found it a bit creepy." }, { "id": 1443, "line_number": 5, "character": { "id": 16, "first_name": "Jed", "last_name": "Maxwell", "full_name": "Jed Maxwell" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "It must be odd being here in a room being surrounded by photos of yourself.", "dialogue": "It must be odd being here in a room being surrounded by photos of yourself." }, { "id": 1444, "line_number": 6, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "It is a bit, yeah.", "dialogue": "It is a bit, yeah." }, { "id": 1445, "line_number": 7, "character": { "id": 16, "first_name": "Jed", "last_name": "Maxwell", "full_name": "Jed Maxwell" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "I like David Copperfield as well. Not as much as you though.", "dialogue": "I like David Copperfield as well. Not as much as you though." }, { "id": 1446, "line_number": 8, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "No, no. I can see that he's losing the battle for wall space, isn't he. Did you take these on a telephoto lens?", "dialogue": "No, no. I can see that he's losing the battle for wall space, isn't he. Did you take these on a telephoto lens?" }, { "id": 1447, "line_number": 9, "character": { "id": 16, "first_name": "Jed", "last_name": "Maxwell", "full_name": "Jed Maxwell" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Yeah.", "dialogue": "Yeah." }, { "id": 1448, "line_number": 10, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Are you the crank caller?", "dialogue": "Are you the crank caller?" }, { "id": 1449, "line_number": 11, "character": { "id": 16, "first_name": "Jed", "last_name": "Maxwell", "full_name": "Jed Maxwell" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Yeah.", "dialogue": "Yeah." }, { "id": 1450, "line_number": 12, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Yup, thought so.", "dialogue": "Yup, thought so." }, { "id": 1451, "line_number": 13, "character": { "id": 16, "first_name": "Jed", "last_name": "Maxwell", "full_name": "Jed Maxwell" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "I'm just a fan, Alan, that's all. Your biggest fan.", "dialogue": "I'm just a fan, Alan, that's all. Your biggest fan." }, { "id": 1452, "line_number": 14, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Glory be!", "dialogue": "Glory be!" }, { "id": 1453, "line_number": 15, "character": { "id": 16, "first_name": "Jed", "last_name": "Maxwell", "full_name": "Jed Maxwell" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "It took 14 hours! I fainted three times.", "dialogue": "It took 14 hours! I fainted three times." }, { "id": 1454, "line_number": 16, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Jed, I'll level with you. I'm really scared. Erm… In fact, I think I'll go.", "dialogue": "Jed, I'll level with you. I'm really scared. Erm… In fact, I think I'll go." }, { "id": 1455, "line_number": 17, "character": { "id": 16, "first_name": "Jed", "last_name": "Maxwell", "full_name": "Jed Maxwell" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "No! Stay, don't go!", "dialogue": "No! Stay, don't go!" }, { "id": 1456, "line_number": 18, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "All right. I'll stay! I'll stay. What do you want to do?", "dialogue": "All right. I'll stay! I'll stay. What do you want to do?" }, { "id": 1457, "line_number": 19, "character": { "id": 16, "first_name": "Jed", "last_name": "Maxwell", "full_name": "Jed Maxwell" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Let's do an interview.", "dialogue": "Let's do an interview." }, { "id": 1458, "line_number": 20, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "I think that's a great idea.", "dialogue": "I think that's a great idea." }, { "id": 1459, "line_number": 21, "character": { "id": 16, "first_name": "Jed", "last_name": "Maxwell", "full_name": "Jed Maxwell" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Do you really?", "dialogue": "Do you really?" }, { "id": 1460, "line_number": 22, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "I think it's the best idea, in the world.", "dialogue": "I think it's the best idea, in the world." }, { "id": 1461, "line_number": 23, "character": { "id": 16, "first_name": "Jed", "last_name": "Maxwell", "full_name": "Jed Maxwell" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Oh, great! Right, well you can be David Copperfield. And I'll be Alan Partridge.", "dialogue": "Oh, great! Right, well you can be David Copperfield. And I'll be Alan Partridge." }, { "id": 1462, "line_number": 24, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": "_[Making a run for it]_", "text": "Oh god.", "dialogue": "Oh god." }, { "id": 1463, "line_number": 25, "character": { "id": 16, "first_name": "Jed", "last_name": "Maxwell", "full_name": "Jed Maxwell" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "No! Come back! _[Jed grabs Alan and they scuffle]_", "dialogue": "No! Come back! [Jed grabs Alan and they scuffle]" }, { "id": 1464, "line_number": 26, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Not my face, I'm doing a photo-shoot for Vision Express! I'll give you a Chinese burn!", "dialogue": "Not my face, I'm doing a photo-shoot for Vision Express! I'll give you a Chinese burn!" }, { "id": 1465, "line_number": 27, "character": { "id": 16, "first_name": "Jed", "last_name": "Maxwell", "full_name": "Jed Maxwell" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Ah! You bastard!", "dialogue": "Ah! You bastard!" }, { "id": 1466, "line_number": 28, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "I can't breathe. I can't breathe.", "dialogue": "I can't breathe. I can't breathe." }, { "id": 1467, "line_number": 29, "character": { "id": 16, "first_name": "Jed", "last_name": "Maxwell", "full_name": "Jed Maxwell" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Look, Alan. I just want to be your friend, that's all.", "dialogue": "Look, Alan. I just want to be your friend, that's all." }, { "id": 1468, "line_number": 30, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "I'll BE your friend.", "dialogue": "I'll BE your friend." }, { "id": 1469, "line_number": 31, "character": { "id": 16, "first_name": "Jed", "last_name": "Maxwell", "full_name": "Jed Maxwell" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Oh, great. Will you come and see my brother-in-law next weekend?", "dialogue": "Oh, great. Will you come and see my brother-in-law next weekend?" }, { "id": 1470, "line_number": 32, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "I'd love to.", "dialogue": "I'd love to." }, { "id": 1471, "line_number": 33, "character": { "id": 16, "first_name": "Jed", "last_name": "Maxwell", "full_name": "Jed Maxwell" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "I bet you can't guess where he lives. Go on, have a guess.", "dialogue": "I bet you can't guess where he lives. Go on, have a guess." }, { "id": 1472, "line_number": 34, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Nottingham.", "dialogue": "Nottingham." }, { "id": 1473, "line_number": 35, "character": { "id": 16, "first_name": "Jed", "last_name": "Maxwell", "full_name": "Jed Maxwell" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "No.", "dialogue": "No." }, { "id": 1474, "line_number": 36, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Chester.", "dialogue": "Chester." }, { "id": 1475, "line_number": 37, "character": { "id": 16, "first_name": "Jed", "last_name": "Maxwell", "full_name": "Jed Maxwell" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Where?", "dialogue": "Where?" }, { "id": 1476, "line_number": 38, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Chester. Near North Wales, off the M56.", "dialogue": "Chester. Near North Wales, off the M56." }, { "id": 1477, "line_number": 39, "character": { "id": 16, "first_name": "Jed", "last_name": "Maxwell", "full_name": "Jed Maxwell" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "No, Leeds!", "dialogue": "No, Leeds!" }, { "id": 1478, "line_number": 40, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Oh, Leeds!", "dialogue": "Oh, Leeds!" }, { "id": 1479, "line_number": 41, "character": { "id": 16, "first_name": "Jed", "last_name": "Maxwell", "full_name": "Jed Maxwell" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Can you smell gas?", "dialogue": "Can you smell gas?" }, { "id": 1480, "line_number": 42, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "I think that's my breath. I ate a scotch egg. I thought it would have broken down by now, but I think I'm slightly constipated. It's surprising, really, considering the circumstances.", "dialogue": "I think that's my breath. I ate a scotch egg. I thought it would have broken down by now, but I think I'm slightly constipated. It's surprising, really, considering the circumstances." }, { "id": 1481, "line_number": 43, "character": { "id": 16, "first_name": "Jed", "last_name": "Maxwell", "full_name": "Jed Maxwell" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "I'm sorry, Alan. I didn't know. Are you all right?", "dialogue": "I'm sorry, Alan. I didn't know. Are you all right?" }, { "id": 1482, "line_number": 44, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Yeah.", "dialogue": "Yeah." }, { "id": 1483, "line_number": 45, "character": { "id": 16, "first_name": "Jed", "last_name": "Maxwell", "full_name": "Jed Maxwell" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "So we're friends then?", "dialogue": "So we're friends then?" }, { "id": 1484, "line_number": 46, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Best friends.", "dialogue": "Best friends." }, { "id": 1485, "line_number": 47, "character": { "id": 16, "first_name": "Jed", "last_name": "Maxwell", "full_name": "Jed Maxwell" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "In the whole world?", "dialogue": "In the whole world?" }, { "id": 1486, "line_number": 48, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Pretty much, yeah.", "dialogue": "Pretty much, yeah." } ] }, { "id": 92, "title": "Alan manages to leave Jed's house, but Jed sees Alan to his car", "order_in_episode": 14, "image_url": null, "lines": [ { "id": 1487, "line_number": 1, "character": { "id": 16, "first_name": "Jed", "last_name": "Maxwell", "full_name": "Jed Maxwell" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Well, now you know where I live I hope you'll not be a stranger.", "dialogue": "Well, now you know where I live I hope you'll not be a stranger." }, { "id": 1488, "line_number": 2, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "No, won't be… one.", "dialogue": "No, won't be… one." }, { "id": 1489, "line_number": 3, "character": { "id": 16, "first_name": "Jed", "last_name": "Maxwell", "full_name": "Jed Maxwell" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Good. There'll always be a kettle on here.", "dialogue": "Good. There'll always be a kettle on here." }, { "id": 1490, "line_number": 4, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Oh, great.", "dialogue": "Oh, great." }, { "id": 1491, "line_number": 5, "character": { "id": 16, "first_name": "Jed", "last_name": "Maxwell", "full_name": "Jed Maxwell" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "See you next week, then. We'll have that pint.", "dialogue": "See you next week, then. We'll have that pint." }, { "id": 1492, "line_number": 6, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Yup.", "dialogue": "Yup." }, { "id": 1493, "line_number": 7, "character": { "id": 16, "first_name": "Jed", "last_name": "Maxwell", "full_name": "Jed Maxwell" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Go see my brother.", "dialogue": "Go see my brother." }, { "id": 1494, "line_number": 8, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "No way, you big spastic! You're a mentalist!", "dialogue": "No way, you big spastic! You're a mentalist!" }, { "id": 1495, "line_number": 9, "character": { "id": 16, "first_name": "Jed", "last_name": "Maxwell", "full_name": "Jed Maxwell" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Come back! I'll rip your bloody head off!", "dialogue": "Come back! I'll rip your bloody head off!" }, { "id": 1496, "line_number": 10, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": "to himself", "text": "_[heading towards a dead end]_ It's a dead end! Where's the road? _[Alan jumps over a hedge into a farmers field and runs]_ He's a mentalist! Help me someone!", "dialogue": "[heading towards a dead end] It's a dead end! Where's the road? [Alan jumps over a hedge into a farmers field and runs] He's a mentalist! Help me someone!" } ] } ], "links": { "self": "https://alanpartridgescripts.co.uk/api/v1/episodes/im-alan-partridge/series-1/episode-5-to-kill-a-mocking-alan.json", "web": "https://alanpartridgescripts.co.uk/im-alan-partridge/series-1/episode-5-to-kill-a-mocking-alan" } } }