{ "data": { "id": 6, "title": "Towering Alan", "slug": "episode-6-towering-alan", "episode_number": 6, "episode_code": "S01E06", "overview": "Dramatic developments at the BBC give Alan a whiff of hope, and so he prepares to do some intensive networking - at a funeral.", "description": "After resigning himself to judging vegetable contests at local fetes, Alan is overjoyed to learn that BBC Chief Commissioning Editor Tony Hayers has died and will be replaced by the more amenable Chris Feathers, who is much more keen on Alan. If Alan can secure a BBC contract, he will finally be able to leave the Linton Travel Tavern, where he has now stayed for 6 months.", "first_aired": "1997-12-08T00:00:00.000Z", "intro_image_url": null, "series": { "id": 1, "title": "I'm Alan Partridge: Series 1", "slug": "series-1", "series_number": 1, "series_code": "S01", "programme": { "id": 1, "title": "I'm Alan Partridge", "slug": "im-alan-partridge", "links": { "self": "https://alanpartridgescripts.co.uk/api/v1/programmes/im-alan-partridge.json" } }, "links": { "self": "https://alanpartridgescripts.co.uk/api/v1/series/im-alan-partridge/series-1.json", "web": "https://alanpartridgescripts.co.uk/im-alan-partridge/series-1" } }, "scenes": [ { "id": 93, "title": "Alan is in the studio, finishing his morning show", "order_in_episode": 1, "image_url": null, "lines": [ { "id": 1497, "line_number": 1, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": "to his listeners", "text": "That was Japan. The effeminate futurists, from the '80s. With \"Life Can Be Cruel in Tokyo\". It's certainly congested. I'd love to go. In the meantime, it's seven o'clock. Oh, Guv'nor, he's got me bang to rights, it's Chief Constable Dave Clifton of Scotland Yard's very own plainclothes pop force.", "dialogue": "That was Japan. The effeminate futurists, from the '80s. With \"Life Can Be Cruel in Tokyo\". It's certainly congested. I'd love to go. In the meantime, it's seven o'clock. Oh, Guv'nor, he's got me bang to rights, it's Chief Constable Dave Clifton of Scotland Yard's very own plainclothes pop force." }, { "id": 1498, "line_number": 2, "character": { "id": 4, "first_name": "Dave", "last_name": "Clifton", "full_name": "Dave Clifton" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Yes. Good morning, Alan…", "dialogue": "Yes. Good morning, Alan…" }, { "id": 1499, "line_number": 3, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Whoa, let me finish. Hello, hello, hello.", "dialogue": "Whoa, let me finish. Hello, hello, hello." }, { "id": 1500, "line_number": 4, "character": { "id": 4, "first_name": "Dave", "last_name": "Clifton", "full_name": "Dave Clifton" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Yeah, I think you're splidding hairs a little bit there, Alan.", "dialogue": "Yeah, I think you're splidding hairs a little bit there, Alan." }, { "id": 1501, "line_number": 5, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Sorry, splidding?", "dialogue": "Sorry, splidding?" }, { "id": 1502, "line_number": 6, "character": { "id": 4, "first_name": "Dave", "last_name": "Clifton", "full_name": "Dave Clifton" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Yeah, splidding, you know.", "dialogue": "Yeah, splidding, you know." }, { "id": 1503, "line_number": 7, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Sorry, it's difficult to understand you when you say splidding. Because I know in real life you say \"splitting\". It's interesting the way you substitute a \"d\" for a \"t\" when you're broadcasting. If you ask me, it's the behaviour of a dosser.", "dialogue": "Sorry, it's difficult to understand you when you say splidding. Because I know in real life you say \"splitting\". It's interesting the way you substitute a \"d\" for a \"t\" when you're broadcasting. If you ask me, it's the behaviour of a dosser." }, { "id": 1504, "line_number": 8, "character": { "id": 4, "first_name": "Dave", "last_name": "Clifton", "full_name": "Dave Clifton" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "A dosser?", "dialogue": "A dosser?" }, { "id": 1505, "line_number": 9, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Yes. A dosser and a dwad.", "dialogue": "Yes. A dosser and a dwad." }, { "id": 1506, "line_number": 10, "character": { "id": 4, "first_name": "Dave", "last_name": "Clifton", "full_name": "Dave Clifton" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Alan Partridge there…", "dialogue": "Alan Partridge there…" }, { "id": 1507, "line_number": 11, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "There are others, aren't there. There's did-head, and there's dalentless shid. And if rumours are to be believed, you're back on the boddle.", "dialogue": "There are others, aren't there. There's did-head, and there's dalentless shid. And if rumours are to be believed, you're back on the boddle." }, { "id": 1508, "line_number": 12, "character": { "id": 4, "first_name": "Dave", "last_name": "Clifton", "full_name": "Dave Clifton" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Err, this is \"Einstein A Go Go\".", "dialogue": "Err, this is \"Einstein A Go Go\"." }, { "id": 1509, "line_number": 13, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Gid. That's git.", "dialogue": "Gid. That's git." } ] }, { "id": 94, "title": "Alan is back at the Travel Tavern letting himself into his room, where Lynn is already there, preparing for his day", "order_in_episode": 2, "image_url": null, "lines": [ { "id": 1510, "line_number": 1, "character": { "id": 19, "first_name": "Mike", "last_name": "Sampson", "full_name": "Mike Sampson" }, "custom_character_name": "Sampson", "text": "Oh, home sweet home!", "dialogue": "Oh, home sweet home!" }, { "id": 1511, "line_number": 2, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Yes.", "dialogue": "Yes." }, { "id": 1512, "line_number": 3, "character": { "id": 19, "first_name": "Mike", "last_name": "Sampson", "full_name": "Mike Sampson" }, "custom_character_name": "Sampson", "text": "Yeah, these corridors.", "dialogue": "Yeah, these corridors." }, { "id": 1513, "line_number": 4, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Yes, they are aren't they?", "dialogue": "Yes, they are aren't they?" }, { "id": 1514, "line_number": 5, "character": { "id": 2, "first_name": "Lynn", "last_name": "Benfield", "full_name": "Lynn Benfield" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Just let myself in. Needed the toilet.", "dialogue": "Just let myself in. Needed the toilet." }, { "id": 1515, "line_number": 6, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Well, close the door. So, err, everything all right?", "dialogue": "Well, close the door. So, err, everything all right?" }, { "id": 1516, "line_number": 7, "character": { "id": 2, "first_name": "Lynn", "last_name": "Benfield", "full_name": "Lynn Benfield" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Just a little bit of tummy trouble.", "dialogue": "Just a little bit of tummy trouble." }, { "id": 1517, "line_number": 8, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "No, I mean generally. Not specifically the toilet.", "dialogue": "No, I mean generally. Not specifically the toilet." }, { "id": 1518, "line_number": 9, "character": { "id": 2, "first_name": "Lynn", "last_name": "Benfield", "full_name": "Lynn Benfield" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Oh, yes, everything's fine.", "dialogue": "Oh, yes, everything's fine." }, { "id": 1519, "line_number": 10, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Good. Right, so what have you been doing?", "dialogue": "Good. Right, so what have you been doing?" }, { "id": 1520, "line_number": 11, "character": { "id": 2, "first_name": "Lynn", "last_name": "Benfield", "full_name": "Lynn Benfield" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Oh well, I've been getting your clothes ready for the country show.", "dialogue": "Oh well, I've been getting your clothes ready for the country show." }, { "id": 1521, "line_number": 12, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Great", "dialogue": "Great" }, { "id": 1522, "line_number": 13, "character": { "id": 2, "first_name": "Lynn", "last_name": "Benfield", "full_name": "Lynn Benfield" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "And doing a bit of tidying.", "dialogue": "And doing a bit of tidying." }, { "id": 1523, "line_number": 14, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Tidying? What do you mean, tidying?", "dialogue": "Tidying? What do you mean, tidying?" }, { "id": 1524, "line_number": 15, "character": { "id": 2, "first_name": "Lynn", "last_name": "Benfield", "full_name": "Lynn Benfield" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "I just did the bed. I didn't go near your drawer.", "dialogue": "I just did the bed. I didn't go near your drawer." }, { "id": 1525, "line_number": 16, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Good.", "dialogue": "Good." }, { "id": 1526, "line_number": 17, "character": { "id": 2, "first_name": "Lynn", "last_name": "Benfield", "full_name": "Lynn Benfield" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "By the way, they'd like you to judge the vegetable competition. _[Alan is now sporting a gilet]_ Very manly, it works.", "dialogue": "By the way, they'd like you to judge the vegetable competition. [Alan is now sporting a gilet] Very manly, it works." }, { "id": 1527, "line_number": 18, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "All I need now is a shotgun. Both barrels, BANG! You'd hit the wall. Good thing about this is it has the appearance of a bullet-proof vest, so any fanatics would be put off altogether, or they'd simply go for a head shot. In which case I won't even know it's happened.", "dialogue": "All I need now is a shotgun. Both barrels, BANG! You'd hit the wall. Good thing about this is it has the appearance of a bullet-proof vest, so any fanatics would be put off altogether, or they'd simply go for a head shot. In which case I won't even know it's happened." }, { "id": 1528, "line_number": 19, "character": { "id": 2, "first_name": "Lynn", "last_name": "Benfield", "full_name": "Lynn Benfield" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Alan, I've told you a thousand times, no one wants to kill you. It defies sense. Why?", "dialogue": "Alan, I've told you a thousand times, no one wants to kill you. It defies sense. Why?" }, { "id": 1529, "line_number": 20, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Because I'm a soft target. They're not going to go for the Prime Minister, he's surrounded by bouncers. Yet everyone knows I will be in Swaffham at 3pm, outside the vegetable tent.", "dialogue": "Because I'm a soft target. They're not going to go for the Prime Minister, he's surrounded by bouncers. Yet everyone knows I will be in Swaffham at 3pm, outside the vegetable tent." }, { "id": 1530, "line_number": 21, "character": { "id": 2, "first_name": "Lynn", "last_name": "Benfield", "full_name": "Lynn Benfield" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Your mind's flying.", "dialogue": "Your mind's flying." }, { "id": 1531, "line_number": 22, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Of course my mind's flying, Lynn. I've been living in a hotel for 26 weeks! 182 days in a Travel Tavern! See this, look. Sanitary bags. They put these in my room every day. They know I'm a man. I keep loose Werther's Originals in them. Look at this, seen this. That is 182 bottles of body lotion. I was going to sell them in a car boot sale.", "dialogue": "Of course my mind's flying, Lynn. I've been living in a hotel for 26 weeks! 182 days in a Travel Tavern! See this, look. Sanitary bags. They put these in my room every day. They know I'm a man. I keep loose Werther's Originals in them. Look at this, seen this. That is 182 bottles of body lotion. I was going to sell them in a car boot sale." }, { "id": 1532, "line_number": 23, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "I can't remember what it's like to dial a number from a telephone without hitting nine first. Hello? Reception? Sorry, I must have hit a zero.", "dialogue": "I can't remember what it's like to dial a number from a telephone without hitting nine first. Hello? Reception? Sorry, I must have hit a zero." }, { "id": 1533, "line_number": 24, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Lynn, I was at a friend's house the other night. I was trying to make a phone call. I thought there was something wrong with the phone. I'd been hitting nine, Lynn! I felt like a ruddy idiot. I just left. I couldn't stay there after that.", "dialogue": "Lynn, I was at a friend's house the other night. I was trying to make a phone call. I thought there was something wrong with the phone. I'd been hitting nine, Lynn! I felt like a ruddy idiot. I just left. I couldn't stay there after that." }, { "id": 1534, "line_number": 25, "character": { "id": 2, "first_name": "Lynn", "last_name": "Benfield", "full_name": "Lynn Benfield" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Would you like a Horlicks?", "dialogue": "Would you like a Horlicks?" }, { "id": 1535, "line_number": 26, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Yes, please. _[Lynn opens one of Alan's desk drawers]_ Not in that drawer.", "dialogue": "Yes, please. [Lynn opens one of Alan's desk drawers] Not in that drawer." } ] }, { "id": 95, "title": "Sophie arrives at Alan's room with a box of stuff from his ex-wife", "order_in_episode": 3, "image_url": null, "lines": [ { "id": 1536, "line_number": 1, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Come in.", "dialogue": "Come in." }, { "id": 1537, "line_number": 2, "character": { "id": 6, "first_name": "Sophie", "last_name": "the receptionist", "full_name": "Sophie the receptionist" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Hello, Mr Partridge. Everything all right with the room?", "dialogue": "Hello, Mr Partridge. Everything all right with the room?" }, { "id": 1538, "line_number": 3, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Yes, marvellous.", "dialogue": "Yes, marvellous." }, { "id": 1539, "line_number": 4, "character": { "id": 6, "first_name": "Sophie", "last_name": "the receptionist", "full_name": "Sophie the receptionist" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "This box arrived for you.", "dialogue": "This box arrived for you." }, { "id": 1540, "line_number": 5, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Oh, super. I've been trying to get my hands on this box off Carol for months.", "dialogue": "Oh, super. I've been trying to get my hands on this box off Carol for months." }, { "id": 1541, "line_number": 6, "character": { "id": 6, "first_name": "Sophie", "last_name": "the receptionist", "full_name": "Sophie the receptionist" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Is that you?", "dialogue": "Is that you?" }, { "id": 1542, "line_number": 7, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "No. That's my daughter, Denise. Bit of a rebel.", "dialogue": "No. That's my daughter, Denise. Bit of a rebel." }, { "id": 1543, "line_number": 8, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "What?", "dialogue": "What?" }, { "id": 1544, "line_number": 9, "character": { "id": 6, "first_name": "Sophie", "last_name": "the receptionist", "full_name": "Sophie the receptionist" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Nothing. It's just that she really really looks like you.", "dialogue": "Nothing. It's just that she really really looks like you." }, { "id": 1545, "line_number": 10, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Yeah, well it's not me. Have I got a pierced navel?", "dialogue": "Yeah, well it's not me. Have I got a pierced navel?" }, { "id": 1546, "line_number": 11, "character": { "id": 6, "first_name": "Sophie", "last_name": "the receptionist", "full_name": "Sophie the receptionist" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "I don't know.", "dialogue": "I don't know." }, { "id": 1547, "line_number": 12, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Well, I haven't.", "dialogue": "Well, I haven't." }, { "id": 1548, "line_number": 13, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Oh, great. Nigel Rees' Book of Humorous Graffiti. This is the Koran for that after-dinner speaker. A quick tip for you, Sophie. If you're ever doing an after-dinner speech, you say, \"My Lords, Ladies and gentlemen. Sorry I'm late, I just popped to the toilet. And while I was in there I saw some graffiti and it said 'I used to be indecisive, but now I'm not so sure'\". Straight away you've got them by the Jaffas. It's witty. Not like a lot of the graffiti you see these days in toilets. It's just crude. Like, you know, touch my this. Suck my such and such. Something all over my whatever.", "dialogue": "Oh, great. Nigel Rees' Book of Humorous Graffiti. This is the Koran for that after-dinner speaker. A quick tip for you, Sophie. If you're ever doing an after-dinner speech, you say, \"My Lords, Ladies and gentlemen. Sorry I'm late, I just popped to the toilet. And while I was in there I saw some graffiti and it said 'I used to be indecisive, but now I'm not so sure'\". Straight away you've got them by the Jaffas. It's witty. Not like a lot of the graffiti you see these days in toilets. It's just crude. Like, you know, touch my this. Suck my such and such. Something all over my whatever." }, { "id": 1549, "line_number": 14, "character": { "id": 6, "first_name": "Sophie", "last_name": "the receptionist", "full_name": "Sophie the receptionist" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "My penis is so and so.", "dialogue": "My penis is so and so." }, { "id": 1550, "line_number": 15, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Yeah.", "dialogue": "Yeah." }, { "id": 1551, "line_number": 16, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "There we go Lynn. Tony Hayers. I tell you something, Sophie. You've not witnessed pure evil until you've looked into the eyes of a man who's just cancelled your second series.", "dialogue": "There we go Lynn. Tony Hayers. I tell you something, Sophie. You've not witnessed pure evil until you've looked into the eyes of a man who's just cancelled your second series." }, { "id": 1552, "line_number": 17, "character": { "id": 6, "first_name": "Sophie", "last_name": "the receptionist", "full_name": "Sophie the receptionist" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "I think he looks quite nice.", "dialogue": "I think he looks quite nice." }, { "id": 1553, "line_number": 18, "character": { "id": 2, "first_name": "Lynn", "last_name": "Benfield", "full_name": "Lynn Benfield" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "The devil can take many forms.", "dialogue": "The devil can take many forms." }, { "id": 1554, "line_number": 19, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "All right, Lynn. She's a member of a Baptist Church. I think they're a bit…", "dialogue": "All right, Lynn. She's a member of a Baptist Church. I think they're a bit…" }, { "id": 1555, "line_number": 20, "character": { "id": 6, "first_name": "Sophie", "last_name": "the receptionist", "full_name": "Sophie the receptionist" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Sorry about saying penis earlier.", "dialogue": "Sorry about saying penis earlier." }, { "id": 1556, "line_number": 21, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Don't worry about that. Trapped her finger in a car door once. She swore like a docker.", "dialogue": "Don't worry about that. Trapped her finger in a car door once. She swore like a docker." }, { "id": 1557, "line_number": 22, "character": { "id": 6, "first_name": "Sophie", "last_name": "the receptionist", "full_name": "Sophie the receptionist" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "I brought you some more stationery. I'll just put it in the drawer.", "dialogue": "I brought you some more stationery. I'll just put it in the drawer." }, { "id": 1558, "line_number": 23, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "I'd rather you didn't.", "dialogue": "I'd rather you didn't." }, { "id": 1559, "line_number": 24, "character": { "id": 6, "first_name": "Sophie", "last_name": "the receptionist", "full_name": "Sophie the receptionist" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Are you all right for body lotion?", "dialogue": "Are you all right for body lotion?" }, { "id": 1560, "line_number": 25, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Yeah, sure. I've got 182 bottles.", "dialogue": "Yeah, sure. I've got 182 bottles." }, { "id": 1561, "line_number": 26, "character": null, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "_[Sophie leaves Alan's room, as she leaves she sneakily opens one of the drawers]_", "dialogue": "[Sophie leaves Alan's room, as she leaves she sneakily opens one of the drawers]" }, { "id": 1562, "line_number": 27, "character": { "id": 6, "first_name": "Sophie", "last_name": "the receptionist", "full_name": "Sophie the receptionist" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Bloody hell!", "dialogue": "Bloody hell!" } ] }, { "id": 96, "title": "Alan is at the Swaffham Country Fayre judging the vegetable competition and acting as compere for the show", "order_in_episode": 4, "image_url": null, "lines": [ { "id": 1563, "line_number": 1, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": "over the speaker system", "text": "Clydesdale horse. 12 hands high. Hands of course, the ancient system for measuring horses that's been around since medieval times. Of course, tape measures in those days were viewed with suspicion. Anyone who could unfurl 15 feet of thin sheet metal from a pocket-sized box, would have been killed as a witch. It's tragic to think that girls, some as young as the ones holding balloons over there, would have been burnt at the stake. May God have mercy on their souls.", "dialogue": "Clydesdale horse. 12 hands high. Hands of course, the ancient system for measuring horses that's been around since medieval times. Of course, tape measures in those days were viewed with suspicion. Anyone who could unfurl 15 feet of thin sheet metal from a pocket-sized box, would have been killed as a witch. It's tragic to think that girls, some as young as the ones holding balloons over there, would have been burnt at the stake. May God have mercy on their souls." } ] }, { "id": 97, "title": "Alan is judging the vegetables in a tent, followed by an adjudicator", "order_in_episode": 5, "image_url": null, "lines": [ { "id": 1564, "line_number": 1, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "A nice tray of plums there. Just put \"nice plums\".", "dialogue": "A nice tray of plums there. Just put \"nice plums\"." }, { "id": 1565, "line_number": 2, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "_[Viewing some leeks]_ This is lovely, this. It's sort of like an old lady's hair. An old lady's blonde hair. Quite attractive. I mean, put that down as a plus point.", "dialogue": "[Viewing some leeks] This is lovely, this. It's sort of like an old lady's hair. An old lady's blonde hair. Quite attractive. I mean, put that down as a plus point." }, { "id": 1566, "line_number": 3, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "_[Viewing courgettes]_ These are nice. Got a nice kind of glossy finish. I knew a bloke who had fingers like that once. He's dead now. An Irish navvy. Angina. Wasn't pleasant.", "dialogue": "[Viewing courgettes] These are nice. Got a nice kind of glossy finish. I knew a bloke who had fingers like that once. He's dead now. An Irish navvy. Angina. Wasn't pleasant." }, { "id": 1567, "line_number": 4, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Cabbages. Don't like cabbages at all. Come on. Let's get through this lot. They're all rubbish, so take your pick.", "dialogue": "Cabbages. Don't like cabbages at all. Come on. Let's get through this lot. They're all rubbish, so take your pick." }, { "id": 1568, "line_number": 5, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "_[Viewing onions]_ And I'm not sure about these. Because, I don't know whether this protrusion is a good or bad thing. Actually, this would make a very good murder weapon. Because you could beat someone to death, then eat the evidence. I'm sure Agatha Christie's probably already thought of that one. The onion mystery. The onion murders. Good idea for a programme. Not that the BBC would commission it. They wouldn't know a good idea, if I hit them over the head with it, and then ate the evidence.", "dialogue": "[Viewing onions] And I'm not sure about these. Because, I don't know whether this protrusion is a good or bad thing. Actually, this would make a very good murder weapon. Because you could beat someone to death, then eat the evidence. I'm sure Agatha Christie's probably already thought of that one. The onion mystery. The onion murders. Good idea for a programme. Not that the BBC would commission it. They wouldn't know a good idea, if I hit them over the head with it, and then ate the evidence." } ] }, { "id": 98, "title": "Alan is back compering", "order_in_episode": 6, "image_url": null, "lines": [ { "id": 1569, "line_number": 1, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": "over the speaker system", "text": "Fire! Fire! The fair's on fire! I'm joking, of course it's not. But that's the kind of thing you can see from… err, what are they called. The local fire brigade, I don't know the district, in tent four. My own tip is never throw water on a fat fire. It'll take your face off.", "dialogue": "Fire! Fire! The fair's on fire! I'm joking, of course it's not. But that's the kind of thing you can see from… err, what are they called. The local fire brigade, I don't know the district, in tent four. My own tip is never throw water on a fat fire. It'll take your face off." }, { "id": 1570, "line_number": 2, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": "over the speaker system", "text": "The stocks are now open for custard-pie throwing. I tell you who I'd like to put in the stocks, Tony Hayers. He is the Chief Commissioning Editor of BBC Television. And it wouldn't be custard pies I'd be throwing at him either. I'd like to throw cabbages, hot Bovril and gravel. I don't know if you are familiar with BBC commissioning policy, they are obliged to contract out a certain percentage of their programmes to independent programme makers, and… you're not even listening are you? You people. I'm going. It's all wrapping up in about an hour anyway, so I don't think you'll miss me. Thank you. Goodbye. _[Alan drops the microphone and walks off, leaving a loud feedback noise]_", "dialogue": "The stocks are now open for custard-pie throwing. I tell you who I'd like to put in the stocks, Tony Hayers. He is the Chief Commissioning Editor of BBC Television. And it wouldn't be custard pies I'd be throwing at him either. I'd like to throw cabbages, hot Bovril and gravel. I don't know if you are familiar with BBC commissioning policy, they are obliged to contract out a certain percentage of their programmes to independent programme makers, and… you're not even listening are you? You people. I'm going. It's all wrapping up in about an hour anyway, so I don't think you'll miss me. Thank you. Goodbye. [Alan drops the microphone and walks off, leaving a loud feedback noise]" } ] }, { "id": 99, "title": "Alan is back in the Travel Tavern, where Lynn is spending some time 'doing the catalogues'", "order_in_episode": 7, "image_url": null, "lines": [ { "id": 1571, "line_number": 1, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Hello, Lynn.", "dialogue": "Hello, Lynn." }, { "id": 1572, "line_number": 2, "character": { "id": 2, "first_name": "Lynn", "last_name": "Benfield", "full_name": "Lynn Benfield" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Oh, sorry. I was just doing the catalogues.", "dialogue": "Oh, sorry. I was just doing the catalogues." }, { "id": 1573, "line_number": 3, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Let's have a look. Looking at the big girdle section? Interesting isn't it that these women are technically models. Where do they get these men from? Who smiles at a Black & Decker Workmate for goodness sake?", "dialogue": "Let's have a look. Looking at the big girdle section? Interesting isn't it that these women are technically models. Where do they get these men from? Who smiles at a Black & Decker Workmate for goodness sake?" }, { "id": 1574, "line_number": 4, "character": { "id": 2, "first_name": "Lynn", "last_name": "Benfield", "full_name": "Lynn Benfield" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "How did the country show go, Alan?", "dialogue": "How did the country show go, Alan?" }, { "id": 1575, "line_number": 5, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Erm, I walked off.", "dialogue": "Erm, I walked off." }, { "id": 1576, "line_number": 6, "character": { "id": 2, "first_name": "Lynn", "last_name": "Benfield", "full_name": "Lynn Benfield" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Who's upset you this time?", "dialogue": "Who's upset you this time?" }, { "id": 1577, "line_number": 7, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Just, people. I just hate the general public.", "dialogue": "Just, people. I just hate the general public." } ] }, { "id": 100, "title": "Alan receives a phone call from Sue Cook", "order_in_episode": 8, "image_url": null, "lines": [ { "id": 1578, "line_number": 1, "character": { "id": 5, "first_name": "Susan", "last_name": "Foster", "full_name": "Susan Foster" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Excuse me, Alan? There's a phone call for you.", "dialogue": "Excuse me, Alan? There's a phone call for you." }, { "id": 1579, "line_number": 2, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Who is it?", "dialogue": "Who is it?" }, { "id": 1580, "line_number": 3, "character": { "id": 5, "first_name": "Susan", "last_name": "Foster", "full_name": "Susan Foster" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "It's Sue Cook.", "dialogue": "It's Sue Cook." }, { "id": 1581, "line_number": 4, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Oh, what does she want?", "dialogue": "Oh, what does she want?" }, { "id": 1582, "line_number": 5, "character": null, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "_[Susan hands the phone to Alan]_", "dialogue": "[Susan hands the phone to Alan]" }, { "id": 1583, "line_number": 6, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": "to Sue", "text": "Hello, Sue. It's Alan. Sue, take the fag out of your mouth, I can't tell what you're saying. What, really? Oh, my god!", "dialogue": "Hello, Sue. It's Alan. Sue, take the fag out of your mouth, I can't tell what you're saying. What, really? Oh, my god!" }, { "id": 1584, "line_number": 7, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": "to Lynn", "text": "Tony Hayers is dead.", "dialogue": "Tony Hayers is dead." }, { "id": 1585, "line_number": 8, "character": { "id": 2, "first_name": "Lynn", "last_name": "Benfield", "full_name": "Lynn Benfield" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Yes!", "dialogue": "Yes!" }, { "id": 1586, "line_number": 9, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "He fell off the roof of his house, trying to remove the aerial. Broke his neck.", "dialogue": "He fell off the roof of his house, trying to remove the aerial. Broke his neck." }, { "id": 1587, "line_number": 10, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": "to Sue Cook", "text": "So who's replaced him as Head of Programmes? Chris Feathers? _[Alan is pleased]_ That's an interesting choice. Right. I mean, he's definitely dead? Right. Presumably, there's going to be some sort of funeral? They're cremating him? Good, good. Right. And will Chris Feathers be at the funeral? Right, right. Can you hold on a minute Sue?", "dialogue": "So who's replaced him as Head of Programmes? Chris Feathers? [Alan is pleased] That's an interesting choice. Right. I mean, he's definitely dead? Right. Presumably, there's going to be some sort of funeral? They're cremating him? Good, good. Right. And will Chris Feathers be at the funeral? Right, right. Can you hold on a minute Sue?" }, { "id": 1588, "line_number": 11, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": "to Susan", "text": "Chris Feathers likes me. He likes me! Doesn't he, yeah! He used to flirt with Lynn all the time. Mind you, that was 20 years ago.", "dialogue": "Chris Feathers likes me. He likes me! Doesn't he, yeah! He used to flirt with Lynn all the time. Mind you, that was 20 years ago." }, { "id": 1589, "line_number": 12, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": "to Sue Cook", "text": "Right. I think I'll be going along, yes. Well, it's the least I can do. All right, thanks Sue. You can puff away now.", "dialogue": "Right. I think I'll be going along, yes. Well, it's the least I can do. All right, thanks Sue. You can puff away now." }, { "id": 1590, "line_number": 13, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": "to Lynn", "text": "Kiss my face!", "dialogue": "Kiss my face!" }, { "id": 1591, "line_number": 14, "character": { "id": 2, "first_name": "Lynn", "last_name": "Benfield", "full_name": "Lynn Benfield" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Alan! _[Lynn holds out her arms to give Alan a hug]_", "dialogue": "Alan! [Lynn holds out her arms to give Alan a hug]" }, { "id": 1592, "line_number": 15, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "_[Alan puts out his hand for a handshake]_ Put it there, Lynn. _[Alan waves Lynn away]_", "dialogue": "[Alan puts out his hand for a handshake] Put it there, Lynn. [Alan waves Lynn away]" }, { "id": 1593, "line_number": 16, "character": null, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "_[Mike Sampson enters the hotel and he and Alan head to the lift]_", "dialogue": "[Mike Sampson enters the hotel and he and Alan head to the lift]" }, { "id": 1594, "line_number": 17, "character": { "id": 19, "first_name": "Mike", "last_name": "Sampson", "full_name": "Mike Sampson" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Oh, hello.", "dialogue": "Oh, hello." }, { "id": 1595, "line_number": 18, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Hello. You going to the lift, too?", "dialogue": "Hello. You going to the lift, too?" }, { "id": 1596, "line_number": 19, "character": { "id": 19, "first_name": "Mike", "last_name": "Sampson", "full_name": "Mike Sampson" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Lift, yes.", "dialogue": "Lift, yes." }, { "id": 1597, "line_number": 20, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "First?", "dialogue": "First?" }, { "id": 1598, "line_number": 21, "character": { "id": 19, "first_name": "Mike", "last_name": "Sampson", "full_name": "Mike Sampson" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Yes.", "dialogue": "Yes." }, { "id": 1599, "line_number": 22, "character": null, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "_[Mike randomly starts laughing to himself, which irritates Alan]_", "dialogue": "[Mike randomly starts laughing to himself, which irritates Alan]" }, { "id": 1600, "line_number": 23, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Ping!", "dialogue": "Ping!" }, { "id": 1601, "line_number": 24, "character": { "id": 19, "first_name": "Mike", "last_name": "Sampson", "full_name": "Mike Sampson" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Pardon?", "dialogue": "Pardon?" }, { "id": 1602, "line_number": 25, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "I'm just doing the noise that door makes…", "dialogue": "I'm just doing the noise that door makes…" }, { "id": 1603, "line_number": 26, "character": { "id": 19, "first_name": "Mike", "last_name": "Sampson", "full_name": "Mike Sampson" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "_[The lift 'pings' and Mike starts laughing]_ Excellent! _[They both get out of the lift but Alan cuts in front of Mike]_ Oh, it's like cars this!", "dialogue": "[The lift 'pings' and Mike starts laughing] Excellent! [They both get out of the lift but Alan cuts in front of Mike] Oh, it's like cars this!" }, { "id": 1604, "line_number": 27, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "That's right.", "dialogue": "That's right." }, { "id": 1605, "line_number": 28, "character": { "id": 19, "first_name": "Mike", "last_name": "Sampson", "full_name": "Mike Sampson" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "_[Laughing again]_ Excellent.", "dialogue": "[Laughing again] Excellent." } ] }, { "id": 101, "title": "Alan is at the funeral service for Tony Hayers", "order_in_episode": 9, "image_url": null, "lines": [ { "id": 1606, "line_number": 1, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Chris. Chris Feathers. Hi.", "dialogue": "Chris. Chris Feathers. Hi." }, { "id": 1607, "line_number": 2, "character": { "id": 20, "first_name": "Chris", "last_name": "Feathers", "full_name": "Chris Feathers" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Alan, how are you?", "dialogue": "Alan, how are you?" }, { "id": 1608, "line_number": 3, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Well, very well. Well, I mean considering.", "dialogue": "Well, very well. Well, I mean considering." }, { "id": 1609, "line_number": 4, "character": { "id": 20, "first_name": "Chris", "last_name": "Feathers", "full_name": "Chris Feathers" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Oh, yes. Brilliant man.", "dialogue": "Oh, yes. Brilliant man." }, { "id": 1610, "line_number": 5, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Oh, yes. He had a second-class honours degree in media studies from Loughborough University. What a waste.", "dialogue": "Oh, yes. He had a second-class honours degree in media studies from Loughborough University. What a waste." }, { "id": 1611, "line_number": 6, "character": { "id": 20, "first_name": "Chris", "last_name": "Feathers", "full_name": "Chris Feathers" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Did you know they've asked me to take over Tony's job as Chief Commissioning Editor?", "dialogue": "Did you know they've asked me to take over Tony's job as Chief Commissioning Editor?" }, { "id": 1612, "line_number": 7, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "I had heard something. Can I…?", "dialogue": "I had heard something. Can I…?" }, { "id": 1613, "line_number": 8, "character": { "id": 20, "first_name": "Chris", "last_name": "Feathers", "full_name": "Chris Feathers" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Just two minutes", "dialogue": "Just two minutes" }, { "id": 1614, "line_number": 9, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Right.", "dialogue": "Right." }, { "id": 1615, "line_number": 10, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Jane.", "dialogue": "Jane." }, { "id": 1616, "line_number": 11, "character": { "id": 21, "first_name": "Jane", "last_name": "Feathers", "full_name": "Jane Feathers" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Thank you for coming.", "dialogue": "Thank you for coming." }, { "id": 1617, "line_number": 12, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Can I offer you my deep, deep despair on this very bad day.", "dialogue": "Can I offer you my deep, deep despair on this very bad day." }, { "id": 1618, "line_number": 13, "character": { "id": 21, "first_name": "Jane", "last_name": "Feathers", "full_name": "Jane Feathers" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Thank you.", "dialogue": "Thank you." }, { "id": 1619, "line_number": 14, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "I mean, how are you coping?", "dialogue": "I mean, how are you coping?" }, { "id": 1620, "line_number": 15, "character": { "id": 21, "first_name": "Jane", "last_name": "Feathers", "full_name": "Jane Feathers" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Oh, well, terrible really. We'd booked to go on holiday next week.", "dialogue": "Oh, well, terrible really. We'd booked to go on holiday next week." }, { "id": 1621, "line_number": 16, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Bugger!", "dialogue": "Bugger!" }, { "id": 1622, "line_number": 17, "character": { "id": 21, "first_name": "Jane", "last_name": "Feathers", "full_name": "Jane Feathers" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "He'd have been 41 next month.", "dialogue": "He'd have been 41 next month." }, { "id": 1623, "line_number": 18, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Oh, god. All those people who go around saying life begins at 40. They're notable by their absence. The nerve. Were you close?", "dialogue": "Oh, god. All those people who go around saying life begins at 40. They're notable by their absence. The nerve. Were you close?" }, { "id": 1624, "line_number": 19, "character": { "id": 21, "first_name": "Jane", "last_name": "Feathers", "full_name": "Jane Feathers" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "He was my husband.", "dialogue": "He was my husband." }, { "id": 1625, "line_number": 20, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Yes, yes, of course. What was he doing on the bloody roof?", "dialogue": "Yes, yes, of course. What was he doing on the bloody roof?" }, { "id": 1626, "line_number": 21, "character": { "id": 21, "first_name": "Jane", "last_name": "Feathers", "full_name": "Jane Feathers" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "He was getting the aerial down because we were moving.", "dialogue": "He was getting the aerial down because we were moving." }, { "id": 1627, "line_number": 22, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Yeah, I know. I was being rhetorical. Did he actually bring the aerial down with him?", "dialogue": "Yeah, I know. I was being rhetorical. Did he actually bring the aerial down with him?" }, { "id": 1628, "line_number": 23, "character": { "id": 21, "first_name": "Jane", "last_name": "Feathers", "full_name": "Jane Feathers" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Yes, he did.", "dialogue": "Yes, he did." }, { "id": 1629, "line_number": 24, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Comforting to know that the last thing he did was an act of kindness.", "dialogue": "Comforting to know that the last thing he did was an act of kindness." }, { "id": 1630, "line_number": 25, "character": { "id": 21, "first_name": "Jane", "last_name": "Feathers", "full_name": "Jane Feathers" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Thank you for the travel clock.", "dialogue": "Thank you for the travel clock." }, { "id": 1631, "line_number": 26, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Oh, you got it. Littlewoods are very quick, aren't they?", "dialogue": "Oh, you got it. Littlewoods are very quick, aren't they?" }, { "id": 1632, "line_number": 27, "character": { "id": 21, "first_name": "Jane", "last_name": "Feathers", "full_name": "Jane Feathers" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "They are, yes.", "dialogue": "They are, yes." }, { "id": 1633, "line_number": 28, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Anyway, commiserations. Hang on in there. I'm sure you'll bounce back. If there's anything I can do, just ask. Apart from heavy lifting. Got a bit of a bad back. _[Alan's phone starts to ring]_ Shall I leave that?", "dialogue": "Anyway, commiserations. Hang on in there. I'm sure you'll bounce back. If there's anything I can do, just ask. Apart from heavy lifting. Got a bit of a bad back. [Alan's phone starts to ring] Shall I leave that?" }, { "id": 1634, "line_number": 29, "character": { "id": 21, "first_name": "Jane", "last_name": "Feathers", "full_name": "Jane Feathers" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Yes, I think so.", "dialogue": "Yes, I think so." }, { "id": 1635, "line_number": 30, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "I'd better answer it. Hello, Partridge.", "dialogue": "I'd better answer it. Hello, Partridge." }, { "id": 1636, "line_number": 31, "character": { "id": 21, "first_name": "Jane", "last_name": "Feathers", "full_name": "Jane Feathers" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Can you go outside?", "dialogue": "Can you go outside?" }, { "id": 1637, "line_number": 32, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "All right. Oh, Currys, great. No, I was just talking to a widow. Now look, I want two speakers for an Alba stereo system. Hello? _[Alan's phone runs out of power]_ Battery.", "dialogue": "All right. Oh, Currys, great. No, I was just talking to a widow. Now look, I want two speakers for an Alba stereo system. Hello? [Alan's phone runs out of power] Battery." }, { "id": 1638, "line_number": 33, "character": { "id": 20, "first_name": "Chris", "last_name": "Feathers", "full_name": "Chris Feathers" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Peter, hello. Oh, Alan, have you met Peter? He's just revamped News and Current Affairs.", "dialogue": "Peter, hello. Oh, Alan, have you met Peter? He's just revamped News and Current Affairs." }, { "id": 1639, "line_number": 34, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Chris…", "dialogue": "Chris…" }, { "id": 1640, "line_number": 35, "character": { "id": 20, "first_name": "Chris", "last_name": "Feathers", "full_name": "Chris Feathers" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Just two minutes.", "dialogue": "Just two minutes." }, { "id": 1641, "line_number": 36, "character": { "id": 9, "first_name": "Peter", "last_name": "Linehan", "full_name": "Peter Linehan" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Bad day.", "dialogue": "Bad day." }, { "id": 1642, "line_number": 37, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Yeah, yeah. Hmm.", "dialogue": "Yeah, yeah. Hmm." }, { "id": 1643, "line_number": 38, "character": { "id": 9, "first_name": "Peter", "last_name": "Linehan", "full_name": "Peter Linehan" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Ironic, really. He worked in television his whole life, died getting an aerial off a roof. So in the end, it was television that killed him.", "dialogue": "Ironic, really. He worked in television his whole life, died getting an aerial off a roof. So in the end, it was television that killed him." }, { "id": 1644, "line_number": 39, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Yep. Very good that. Have you got a battery for an Ericsson?", "dialogue": "Yep. Very good that. Have you got a battery for an Ericsson?" }, { "id": 1645, "line_number": 40, "character": { "id": 9, "first_name": "Peter", "last_name": "Linehan", "full_name": "Peter Linehan" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "No. I wonder if he's up there now, looking down on us.", "dialogue": "No. I wonder if he's up there now, looking down on us." }, { "id": 1646, "line_number": 41, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "What, on the roof? Oh, I see. You mean in heaven with the apostles.", "dialogue": "What, on the roof? Oh, I see. You mean in heaven with the apostles." }, { "id": 1647, "line_number": 42, "character": { "id": 9, "first_name": "Peter", "last_name": "Linehan", "full_name": "Peter Linehan" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "The interesting thing about News and Current Affairs…", "dialogue": "The interesting thing about News and Current Affairs…" }, { "id": 1648, "line_number": 43, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Would it be terribly rude to stop listening to you and go and speak to somebody else?", "dialogue": "Would it be terribly rude to stop listening to you and go and speak to somebody else?" }, { "id": 1649, "line_number": 44, "character": { "id": 20, "first_name": "Chris", "last_name": "Feathers", "full_name": "Chris Feathers" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Jane.", "dialogue": "Jane." }, { "id": 1650, "line_number": 45, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Chris?", "dialogue": "Chris?" }, { "id": 1651, "line_number": 46, "character": { "id": 20, "first_name": "Chris", "last_name": "Feathers", "full_name": "Chris Feathers" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Oh, Alan. Have you met Jane?", "dialogue": "Oh, Alan. Have you met Jane?" }, { "id": 1652, "line_number": 47, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Yeah, I've done her.", "dialogue": "Yeah, I've done her." }, { "id": 1653, "line_number": 48, "character": { "id": 20, "first_name": "Chris", "last_name": "Feathers", "full_name": "Chris Feathers" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Oh, good.", "dialogue": "Oh, good." }, { "id": 1654, "line_number": 49, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Chris, can I…?", "dialogue": "Chris, can I…?" }, { "id": 1655, "line_number": 50, "character": { "id": 20, "first_name": "Chris", "last_name": "Feathers", "full_name": "Chris Feathers" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Just two minutes.", "dialogue": "Just two minutes." }, { "id": 1656, "line_number": 51, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "He keeps saying that. Just trying to think of something to say.", "dialogue": "He keeps saying that. Just trying to think of something to say." }, { "id": 1657, "line_number": 52, "character": { "id": 21, "first_name": "Jane", "last_name": "Feathers", "full_name": "Jane Feathers" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Well, there's nothing to say.", "dialogue": "Well, there's nothing to say." }, { "id": 1658, "line_number": 53, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Well…", "dialogue": "Well…" }, { "id": 1659, "line_number": 54, "character": { "id": 21, "first_name": "Jane", "last_name": "Feathers", "full_name": "Jane Feathers" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "No, no. There's nothing to say.", "dialogue": "No, no. There's nothing to say." }, { "id": 1660, "line_number": 55, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Well, hang on, hang on. It's all, a pain in the arse, isn't it? Have you got a battery for an Ericsson?", "dialogue": "Well, hang on, hang on. It's all, a pain in the arse, isn't it? Have you got a battery for an Ericsson?" }, { "id": 1661, "line_number": 56, "character": { "id": 21, "first_name": "Jane", "last_name": "Feathers", "full_name": "Jane Feathers" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "No!", "dialogue": "No!" }, { "id": 1662, "line_number": 57, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Of course, of course not.", "dialogue": "Of course, of course not." }, { "id": 1663, "line_number": 58, "character": { "id": 21, "first_name": "Jane", "last_name": "Feathers", "full_name": "Jane Feathers" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Is something the matter?", "dialogue": "Is something the matter?" }, { "id": 1664, "line_number": 59, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Erm, I want to go and talk to him over there.", "dialogue": "Erm, I want to go and talk to him over there." }, { "id": 1665, "line_number": 60, "character": { "id": 21, "first_name": "Jane", "last_name": "Feathers", "full_name": "Jane Feathers" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Well, go and talk to him then!", "dialogue": "Well, go and talk to him then!" }, { "id": 1666, "line_number": 61, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Thank you.", "dialogue": "Thank you." }, { "id": 1667, "line_number": 62, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Chris, can we have a chat?", "dialogue": "Chris, can we have a chat?" }, { "id": 1668, "line_number": 63, "character": { "id": 20, "first_name": "Chris", "last_name": "Feathers", "full_name": "Chris Feathers" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Yes, of course Alan. Dreadful business.", "dialogue": "Yes, of course Alan. Dreadful business." }, { "id": 1669, "line_number": 64, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Oh, awful, awful business.", "dialogue": "Oh, awful, awful business." }, { "id": 1670, "line_number": 65, "character": { "id": 20, "first_name": "Chris", "last_name": "Feathers", "full_name": "Chris Feathers" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Tell you what, can you see me tomorrow in the office?", "dialogue": "Tell you what, can you see me tomorrow in the office?" }, { "id": 1671, "line_number": 66, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "I'd love to.", "dialogue": "I'd love to." }, { "id": 1672, "line_number": 67, "character": { "id": 20, "first_name": "Chris", "last_name": "Feathers", "full_name": "Chris Feathers" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "I need to pick your brains.", "dialogue": "I need to pick your brains." }, { "id": 1673, "line_number": 68, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Pick away, pick away.", "dialogue": "Pick away, pick away." }, { "id": 1674, "line_number": 69, "character": { "id": 20, "first_name": "Chris", "last_name": "Feathers", "full_name": "Chris Feathers" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "You've got the common touch.", "dialogue": "You've got the common touch." }, { "id": 1675, "line_number": 70, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Thank you.", "dialogue": "Thank you." }, { "id": 1676, "line_number": 71, "character": { "id": 20, "first_name": "Chris", "last_name": "Feathers", "full_name": "Chris Feathers" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "You've been away too long. Alan, I want you back on the telly.", "dialogue": "You've been away too long. Alan, I want you back on the telly." }, { "id": 1677, "line_number": 72, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Jurassic Park! That is fantastic. Great.", "dialogue": "Jurassic Park! That is fantastic. Great." }, { "id": 1678, "line_number": 73, "character": { "id": 20, "first_name": "Chris", "last_name": "Feathers", "full_name": "Chris Feathers" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "The old team, eh?", "dialogue": "The old team, eh?" }, { "id": 1679, "line_number": 74, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Absolutely, yeah.", "dialogue": "Absolutely, yeah." }, { "id": 1680, "line_number": 75, "character": { "id": 20, "first_name": "Chris", "last_name": "Feathers", "full_name": "Chris Feathers" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Well, I'll see you tomorrow.", "dialogue": "Well, I'll see you tomorrow." }, { "id": 1681, "line_number": 76, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": "to a church goer", "text": "Terrible news, terrible news. _[Leaves the church singing]_ Life isn't everything…", "dialogue": "Terrible news, terrible news. [Leaves the church singing] Life isn't everything…" } ] }, { "id": 102, "title": "Alan is back in the Travel Tavern, after going out and upgrading his stereo system to a Bang & Olufsen", "order_in_episode": 10, "image_url": null, "lines": [ { "id": 1682, "line_number": 1, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Life, it's the name of the game and I want to play that game with you. Ba ba-ba ba-ba ba-ba ba ba ba-ba. Ba-rama ba-da ba-da, ba-ba ba.", "dialogue": "Life, it's the name of the game and I want to play that game with you. Ba ba-ba ba-ba ba-ba ba ba ba-ba. Ba-rama ba-da ba-da, ba-ba ba." }, { "id": 1683, "line_number": 2, "character": { "id": 5, "first_name": "Susan", "last_name": "Foster", "full_name": "Susan Foster" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "How was your…", "dialogue": "How was your…" }, { "id": 1684, "line_number": 3, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "BAM!", "dialogue": "BAM!" }, { "id": 1685, "line_number": 4, "character": { "id": 5, "first_name": "Susan", "last_name": "Foster", "full_name": "Susan Foster" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "How was your day, Alan?", "dialogue": "How was your day, Alan?" }, { "id": 1686, "line_number": 5, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "I went to a funeral, which was very sad. And then I popped into Hi-Fi Serious to pick up a top-of-the-range Bang & Olufsen stereo system. Do you like it?", "dialogue": "I went to a funeral, which was very sad. And then I popped into Hi-Fi Serious to pick up a top-of-the-range Bang & Olufsen stereo system. Do you like it?" }, { "id": 1687, "line_number": 6, "character": { "id": 5, "first_name": "Susan", "last_name": "Foster", "full_name": "Susan Foster" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Well, it's in a box, Alan.", "dialogue": "Well, it's in a box, Alan." }, { "id": 1688, "line_number": 7, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "A bit like Tony Hayers. Susan, will you go out with me?", "dialogue": "A bit like Tony Hayers. Susan, will you go out with me?" }, { "id": 1689, "line_number": 8, "character": { "id": 5, "first_name": "Susan", "last_name": "Foster", "full_name": "Susan Foster" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "No.", "dialogue": "No." }, { "id": 1690, "line_number": 9, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Would you go out with me if I was younger and more attractive?", "dialogue": "Would you go out with me if I was younger and more attractive?" }, { "id": 1691, "line_number": 10, "character": { "id": 5, "first_name": "Susan", "last_name": "Foster", "full_name": "Susan Foster" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Erm, yes. I think I probably would.", "dialogue": "Erm, yes. I think I probably would." }, { "id": 1692, "line_number": 11, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "I'd better go and build that time-travel gymnasium then. I'll come back aged 25, built like a brick shit-house. Then you'll kiss me.", "dialogue": "I'd better go and build that time-travel gymnasium then. I'll come back aged 25, built like a brick shit-house. Then you'll kiss me." }, { "id": 1693, "line_number": 12, "character": { "id": 5, "first_name": "Susan", "last_name": "Foster", "full_name": "Susan Foster" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "If you'll excuse me a moment, Alan. I have to leave the desk unattended.", "dialogue": "If you'll excuse me a moment, Alan. I have to leave the desk unattended." }, { "id": 1694, "line_number": 13, "character": null, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "_[Michael enters the hotel reception, carrying Alan's stereo boxes]_", "dialogue": "[Michael enters the hotel reception, carrying Alan's stereo boxes]" }, { "id": 1695, "line_number": 14, "character": { "id": 3, "first_name": "Michael", "last_name": "the Geordie", "full_name": "Michael the Geordie" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Hello, Mr Partridge. I'm gonna have to make two trips, man. I keep dropping bits of it. I'll go and get your other bits and pieces.", "dialogue": "Hello, Mr Partridge. I'm gonna have to make two trips, man. I keep dropping bits of it. I'll go and get your other bits and pieces." }, { "id": 1696, "line_number": 15, "character": { "id": 7, "first_name": "Ben", "last_name": "Swain", "full_name": "Ben Swain" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Bang & Olufsen? Wow, that's serious, man. Whose is it?", "dialogue": "Bang & Olufsen? Wow, that's serious, man. Whose is it?" }, { "id": 1697, "line_number": 16, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "It's mine.", "dialogue": "It's mine." }, { "id": 1698, "line_number": 17, "character": { "id": 7, "first_name": "Ben", "last_name": "Swain", "full_name": "Ben Swain" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "I didn't know you were into music. I know you're a DJ, but I've heard your show.", "dialogue": "I didn't know you were into music. I know you're a DJ, but I've heard your show." }, { "id": 1699, "line_number": 18, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Yeah, I like all the bands. I've got a broad taste, from the Brit-pop bands like UB40, Def Leppard, right back to classic rock, like Wings.", "dialogue": "Yeah, I like all the bands. I've got a broad taste, from the Brit-pop bands like UB40, Def Leppard, right back to classic rock, like Wings." }, { "id": 1700, "line_number": 19, "character": { "id": 7, "first_name": "Ben", "last_name": "Swain", "full_name": "Ben Swain" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Who's Wings?", "dialogue": "Who's Wings?" }, { "id": 1701, "line_number": 20, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "They're only the band The Beatles could have been.", "dialogue": "They're only the band The Beatles could have been." }, { "id": 1702, "line_number": 21, "character": { "id": 7, "first_name": "Ben", "last_name": "Swain", "full_name": "Ben Swain" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Well, I love The Beatles.", "dialogue": "Well, I love The Beatles." }, { "id": 1703, "line_number": 22, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Yeah, so do I.", "dialogue": "Yeah, so do I." }, { "id": 1704, "line_number": 23, "character": { "id": 7, "first_name": "Ben", "last_name": "Swain", "full_name": "Ben Swain" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "What's your favourite Beatles album then?", "dialogue": "What's your favourite Beatles album then?" }, { "id": 1705, "line_number": 24, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Tough one. I think I'd have to say, The Best of The Beatles.", "dialogue": "Tough one. I think I'd have to say, The Best of The Beatles." }, { "id": 1706, "line_number": 25, "character": { "id": 7, "first_name": "Ben", "last_name": "Swain", "full_name": "Ben Swain" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Gum?", "dialogue": "Gum?" }, { "id": 1707, "line_number": 26, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Yeah, cheers. So who's your favourite singer then?", "dialogue": "Yeah, cheers. So who's your favourite singer then?" }, { "id": 1708, "line_number": 27, "character": { "id": 7, "first_name": "Ben", "last_name": "Swain", "full_name": "Ben Swain" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Oh, anything really, you know. Frank Sinatra. Kurt Cobain.", "dialogue": "Oh, anything really, you know. Frank Sinatra. Kurt Cobain." }, { "id": 1709, "line_number": 28, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Who's he?", "dialogue": "Who's he?" }, { "id": 1710, "line_number": 29, "character": { "id": 7, "first_name": "Ben", "last_name": "Swain", "full_name": "Ben Swain" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Nirvana. Blew his head off with a gun?", "dialogue": "Nirvana. Blew his head off with a gun?" }, { "id": 1711, "line_number": 30, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Why?", "dialogue": "Why?" }, { "id": 1712, "line_number": 31, "character": { "id": 7, "first_name": "Ben", "last_name": "Swain", "full_name": "Ben Swain" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "He was depressed.", "dialogue": "He was depressed." }, { "id": 1713, "line_number": 32, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Why? Were they not very good?", "dialogue": "Why? Were they not very good?" }, { "id": 1714, "line_number": 33, "character": { "id": 7, "first_name": "Ben", "last_name": "Swain", "full_name": "Ben Swain" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "No, they were great.", "dialogue": "No, they were great." }, { "id": 1715, "line_number": 34, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Oh. Someone should have told him.", "dialogue": "Oh. Someone should have told him." }, { "id": 1716, "line_number": 35, "character": null, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "_[Mike Sampson appears at reception]_", "dialogue": "[Mike Sampson appears at reception]" }, { "id": 1717, "line_number": 36, "character": { "id": 19, "first_name": "Mike", "last_name": "Sampson", "full_name": "Mike Sampson" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Oooh! What's that?", "dialogue": "Oooh! What's that?" }, { "id": 1718, "line_number": 37, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Bang & Olufsen.", "dialogue": "Bang & Olufsen." }, { "id": 1719, "line_number": 38, "character": null, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "_[Mike starts laughing and walks off]_", "dialogue": "[Mike starts laughing and walks off]" }, { "id": 1720, "line_number": 39, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Err, Ben. Can you take this up to my room?", "dialogue": "Err, Ben. Can you take this up to my room?" }, { "id": 1721, "line_number": 40, "character": { "id": 7, "first_name": "Ben", "last_name": "Swain", "full_name": "Ben Swain" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Yeah, sure. No problem.", "dialogue": "Yeah, sure. No problem." }, { "id": 1722, "line_number": 41, "character": null, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "_[Ben lifts his hand which, to Alan, looks like Ben wants to high-five him. Alan lifts his hand to high-five Ben, then realises he doesn't and drops his hand quickly, turning it into a wave]_", "dialogue": "[Ben lifts his hand which, to Alan, looks like Ben wants to high-five him. Alan lifts his hand to high-five Ben, then realises he doesn't and drops his hand quickly, turning it into a wave]" }, { "id": 1723, "line_number": 42, "character": null, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "_[Alan enters the lift, where Mike Sampson is heading up to his room]_", "dialogue": "[Alan enters the lift, where Mike Sampson is heading up to his room]" }, { "id": 1724, "line_number": 43, "character": { "id": 19, "first_name": "Mike", "last_name": "Sampson", "full_name": "Mike Sampson" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Let me hold the door for you.", "dialogue": "Let me hold the door for you." }, { "id": 1725, "line_number": 44, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Thank you.", "dialogue": "Thank you." }, { "id": 1726, "line_number": 45, "character": { "id": 19, "first_name": "Mike", "last_name": "Sampson", "full_name": "Mike Sampson" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "_[Lift doors close]_ Hold tight!", "dialogue": "[Lift doors close] Hold tight!" }, { "id": 1727, "line_number": 46, "character": null, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "_[Mike starts laughing to himself, which again, irritates Alan]_", "dialogue": "[Mike starts laughing to himself, which again, irritates Alan]" }, { "id": 1728, "line_number": 47, "character": { "id": 19, "first_name": "Mike", "last_name": "Sampson", "full_name": "Mike Sampson" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Nearly there. _[Mike laughs again, Alan joins in]_", "dialogue": "Nearly there. [Mike laughs again, Alan joins in]" }, { "id": 1729, "line_number": 48, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "_[The lift 'pings' and Mike is still laughing to himself, and leaves the lift first]_ Unbelievable.", "dialogue": "[The lift 'pings' and Mike is still laughing to himself, and leaves the lift first] Unbelievable." } ] }, { "id": 103, "title": "Alan is in BBC Television centre for his meeting with Chris Feathers", "order_in_episode": 11, "image_url": null, "lines": [ { "id": 1730, "line_number": 1, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "_[Alan and Chris are having a laugh together]_ Join in, Lynn. So, Chris, what's your strategy?", "dialogue": "[Alan and Chris are having a laugh together] Join in, Lynn. So, Chris, what's your strategy?" }, { "id": 1731, "line_number": 2, "character": { "id": 20, "first_name": "Chris", "last_name": "Feathers", "full_name": "Chris Feathers" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "God alone knows, Alan.", "dialogue": "God alone knows, Alan." }, { "id": 1732, "line_number": 3, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Can I say one word to you? Streamlining.", "dialogue": "Can I say one word to you? Streamlining." }, { "id": 1733, "line_number": 4, "character": { "id": 20, "first_name": "Chris", "last_name": "Feathers", "full_name": "Chris Feathers" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "That's, sacking people.", "dialogue": "That's, sacking people." }, { "id": 1734, "line_number": 5, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Well, basically, yeah.", "dialogue": "Well, basically, yeah." }, { "id": 1735, "line_number": 6, "character": { "id": 20, "first_name": "Chris", "last_name": "Feathers", "full_name": "Chris Feathers" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Well, where do I start?", "dialogue": "Well, where do I start?" }, { "id": 1736, "line_number": 7, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Who was that man who was boring me at the funeral?", "dialogue": "Who was that man who was boring me at the funeral?" }, { "id": 1737, "line_number": 8, "character": { "id": 20, "first_name": "Chris", "last_name": "Feathers", "full_name": "Chris Feathers" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Oh, Peter Linehan? Well, he's just revamped News and Current Affairs.", "dialogue": "Oh, Peter Linehan? Well, he's just revamped News and Current Affairs." }, { "id": 1738, "line_number": 9, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Yeah, but he's finished revamping it now. So, give him a painting of a Spitfire, and let him go.", "dialogue": "Yeah, but he's finished revamping it now. So, give him a painting of a Spitfire, and let him go." }, { "id": 1739, "line_number": 10, "character": { "id": 20, "first_name": "Chris", "last_name": "Feathers", "full_name": "Chris Feathers" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "OK.", "dialogue": "OK." }, { "id": 1740, "line_number": 11, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "And err, Susan Pickardy? You know her?", "dialogue": "And err, Susan Pickardy? You know her?" }, { "id": 1741, "line_number": 12, "character": { "id": 20, "first_name": "Chris", "last_name": "Feathers", "full_name": "Chris Feathers" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Oh yeah, documentaries. Feminist with the flat chest. _[Referring to Lynn]_ She doesn't have that problem, does she?", "dialogue": "Oh yeah, documentaries. Feminist with the flat chest. [Referring to Lynn] She doesn't have that problem, does she?" }, { "id": 1742, "line_number": 13, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "No. _[Lynn folds her arms to cover her chest]_ Don't crush them, Lynn!", "dialogue": "No. [Lynn folds her arms to cover her chest] Don't crush them, Lynn!" }, { "id": 1743, "line_number": 14, "character": { "id": 20, "first_name": "Chris", "last_name": "Feathers", "full_name": "Chris Feathers" }, "custom_character_name": "to Lynn", "text": "How are you? Did you get married?", "dialogue": "How are you? Did you get married?" }, { "id": 1744, "line_number": 15, "character": { "id": 2, "first_name": "Lynn", "last_name": "Benfield", "full_name": "Lynn Benfield" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "No.", "dialogue": "No." }, { "id": 1745, "line_number": 16, "character": { "id": 20, "first_name": "Chris", "last_name": "Feathers", "full_name": "Chris Feathers" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "I got divorced, oh well.", "dialogue": "I got divorced, oh well." }, { "id": 1746, "line_number": 17, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "I'm sure Lynn would be happy to go for a drink with you. If that'll help things?", "dialogue": "I'm sure Lynn would be happy to go for a drink with you. If that'll help things?" }, { "id": 1747, "line_number": 18, "character": { "id": 2, "first_name": "Lynn", "last_name": "Benfield", "full_name": "Lynn Benfield" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Yes, yes.", "dialogue": "Yes, yes." }, { "id": 1748, "line_number": 19, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Do you want to make a note of that, Lynn. Go for a drink with Head of Programmes. Great. Well, let's get down to business. Can we talk about… ME!", "dialogue": "Do you want to make a note of that, Lynn. Go for a drink with Head of Programmes. Great. Well, let's get down to business. Can we talk about… ME!" }, { "id": 1749, "line_number": 20, "character": { "id": 20, "first_name": "Chris", "last_name": "Feathers", "full_name": "Chris Feathers" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Yeah, all right. What can I do for you?", "dialogue": "Yeah, all right. What can I do for you?" }, { "id": 1750, "line_number": 21, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Right. Bottom line, Chris. I want a six-month contract at the BBC to make television programmes.", "dialogue": "Right. Bottom line, Chris. I want a six-month contract at the BBC to make television programmes." }, { "id": 1751, "line_number": 22, "character": { "id": 20, "first_name": "Chris", "last_name": "Feathers", "full_name": "Chris Feathers" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "No, Alan. I'm not going to give you a six-month contract.", "dialogue": "No, Alan. I'm not going to give you a six-month contract." }, { "id": 1752, "line_number": 23, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "You're just like all the rest, aren't you? You sit there on your fat spotty behind, in a dead man's chair, leching at her like a piece of meat…", "dialogue": "You're just like all the rest, aren't you? You sit there on your fat spotty behind, in a dead man's chair, leching at her like a piece of meat…" }, { "id": 1753, "line_number": 24, "character": { "id": 20, "first_name": "Chris", "last_name": "Feathers", "full_name": "Chris Feathers" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Alan, Alan, Alan! I'm not going to give you a six-month contract, because I have prepared a five-year one.", "dialogue": "Alan, Alan, Alan! I'm not going to give you a six-month contract, because I have prepared a five-year one." }, { "id": 1754, "line_number": 25, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Uh? That's brilliant.", "dialogue": "Uh? That's brilliant." }, { "id": 1755, "line_number": 26, "character": { "id": 20, "first_name": "Chris", "last_name": "Feathers", "full_name": "Chris Feathers" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "£200,000 a year.", "dialogue": "£200,000 a year." }, { "id": 1756, "line_number": 27, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "That's a million pounds! Jurassic Park. I'm sorry for saying you were fat before. I just mean you're big boned.", "dialogue": "That's a million pounds! Jurassic Park. I'm sorry for saying you were fat before. I just mean you're big boned." }, { "id": 1757, "line_number": 28, "character": { "id": 20, "first_name": "Chris", "last_name": "Feathers", "full_name": "Chris Feathers" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "That's all right. How about celebrating. Let's get a bottle of Bolly!", "dialogue": "That's all right. How about celebrating. Let's get a bottle of Bolly!" }, { "id": 1758, "line_number": 29, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Sod that, let's have some champagne. On me. Go on, Lynn. Go and get it.", "dialogue": "Sod that, let's have some champagne. On me. Go on, Lynn. Go and get it." }, { "id": 1759, "line_number": 30, "character": { "id": 20, "first_name": "Chris", "last_name": "Feathers", "full_name": "Chris Feathers" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Right then _[Chris begins to sign the contract, starts to gasp then keels over his desk]_", "dialogue": "Right then [Chris begins to sign the contract, starts to gasp then keels over his desk]" }, { "id": 1760, "line_number": 31, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "I suppose you want to check the small print. _[Gets no reaction from Chris]_ Come on, Chris. You must have seen a dozen contracts like that.", "dialogue": "I suppose you want to check the small print. [Gets no reaction from Chris] Come on, Chris. You must have seen a dozen contracts like that." }, { "id": 1761, "line_number": 32, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "_[Chris falls to the side, pen in hand]_ Oh, no! Oh, no. Chris? CHRIS? Oh, God! Erm. _[Hovers over Chris and shouts into his ear]_ Hello, Chris. Are you dead? Oh, God. _[Alan picks up the phone to dial for help, notices that Chris hasn't signed the contract]_ Just, not finished signing it there. _[Takes Chris' hand and starts to sign the contract]_ Just like that. Tedious, all this contract business. Oh, you've got the date wrong there. Just initial that. And my copy. Here's to the future. Sorry.", "dialogue": "[Chris falls to the side, pen in hand] Oh, no! Oh, no. Chris? CHRIS? Oh, God! Erm. [Hovers over Chris and shouts into his ear] Hello, Chris. Are you dead? Oh, God. [Alan picks up the phone to dial for help, notices that Chris hasn't signed the contract] Just, not finished signing it there. [Takes Chris' hand and starts to sign the contract] Just like that. Tedious, all this contract business. Oh, you've got the date wrong there. Just initial that. And my copy. Here's to the future. Sorry." } ] }, { "id": 104, "title": "Alan is back in his room at the Travel Tavern, he has prepared a goodbye party for the staff", "order_in_episode": 12, "image_url": null, "lines": [ { "id": 1762, "line_number": 1, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": "to Lynn", "text": "_[Looking at the banner he has made]_ Do you think that's all right? Not too sentimental? Excellent. Do you want to put something on?", "dialogue": "[Looking at the banner he has made] Do you think that's all right? Not too sentimental? Excellent. Do you want to put something on?" }, { "id": 1763, "line_number": 2, "character": { "id": 2, "first_name": "Lynn", "last_name": "Benfield", "full_name": "Lynn Benfield" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Oh, yes.", "dialogue": "Oh, yes." }, { "id": 1764, "line_number": 3, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "I'll just go and check the party bags. _[The theme music from \"Black Beauty\" begins to play. Alan is filling sanitary bags with loose Wotsits]_ What's this, Lynn?", "dialogue": "I'll just go and check the party bags. [The theme music from \"Black Beauty\" begins to play. Alan is filling sanitary bags with loose Wotsits] What's this, Lynn?" }, { "id": 1765, "line_number": 4, "character": { "id": 2, "first_name": "Lynn", "last_name": "Benfield", "full_name": "Lynn Benfield" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "It's the theme tune from \"Black Beauty\".", "dialogue": "It's the theme tune from \"Black Beauty\"." }, { "id": 1766, "line_number": 5, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "It's brilliant.", "dialogue": "It's brilliant." }, { "id": 1767, "line_number": 6, "character": null, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "_[There's a knock at the door]_", "dialogue": "[There's a knock at the door]" }, { "id": 1768, "line_number": 7, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Hello. Ah, Michael.", "dialogue": "Hello. Ah, Michael." }, { "id": 1769, "line_number": 8, "character": { "id": 3, "first_name": "Michael", "last_name": "the Geordie", "full_name": "Michael the Geordie" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "_[Holding a large bottle of Scrumpy]_ Aye aye, Mr Partridge.", "dialogue": "[Holding a large bottle of Scrumpy] Aye aye, Mr Partridge." }, { "id": 1770, "line_number": 9, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Michael, do you want me to take that?", "dialogue": "Michael, do you want me to take that?" }, { "id": 1771, "line_number": 10, "character": { "id": 3, "first_name": "Michael", "last_name": "the Geordie", "full_name": "Michael the Geordie" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "No, no. I've had a fair bit already. I'll stick with it, man.", "dialogue": "No, no. I've had a fair bit already. I'll stick with it, man." }, { "id": 1772, "line_number": 11, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "That's fine. But it does preclude you from the alcohol that I've provided.", "dialogue": "That's fine. But it does preclude you from the alcohol that I've provided." }, { "id": 1773, "line_number": 12, "character": { "id": 3, "first_name": "Michael", "last_name": "the Geordie", "full_name": "Michael the Geordie" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Oh, you're all right. I'm all right with the Scrumpy!", "dialogue": "Oh, you're all right. I'm all right with the Scrumpy!" }, { "id": 1774, "line_number": 13, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Right. That's a nice shirt.", "dialogue": "Right. That's a nice shirt." }, { "id": 1775, "line_number": 14, "character": { "id": 3, "first_name": "Michael", "last_name": "the Geordie", "full_name": "Michael the Geordie" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Aye. I got married in this. Do you like it? I got it from Manila.", "dialogue": "Aye. I got married in this. Do you like it? I got it from Manila." }, { "id": 1776, "line_number": 15, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "I didn't know you were married.", "dialogue": "I didn't know you were married." }, { "id": 1777, "line_number": 16, "character": { "id": 3, "first_name": "Michael", "last_name": "the Geordie", "full_name": "Michael the Geordie" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Aye. I married a Filipino lassie, like. Didn't work out. She didn't like Newcastle, and she didn't fit in with the culture.", "dialogue": "Aye. I married a Filipino lassie, like. Didn't work out. She didn't like Newcastle, and she didn't fit in with the culture." }, { "id": 1778, "line_number": 17, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "What, has she gone back home?", "dialogue": "What, has she gone back home?" }, { "id": 1779, "line_number": 18, "character": { "id": 3, "first_name": "Michael", "last_name": "the Geordie", "full_name": "Michael the Geordie" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "No. She moved to Sunderland. She's shacked up with me brother.", "dialogue": "No. She moved to Sunderland. She's shacked up with me brother." }, { "id": 1780, "line_number": 19, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Oh, right.", "dialogue": "Oh, right." }, { "id": 1781, "line_number": 20, "character": { "id": 2, "first_name": "Lynn", "last_name": "Benfield", "full_name": "Lynn Benfield" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Michael, would you like a miniature scotch egg?", "dialogue": "Michael, would you like a miniature scotch egg?" }, { "id": 1782, "line_number": 21, "character": { "id": 3, "first_name": "Michael", "last_name": "the Geordie", "full_name": "Michael the Geordie" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Oh, not for me, pet. I've got meself a steak and kidney pie. Oh look at that, I've gone and sat on the bastard. Would you believe it.", "dialogue": "Oh, not for me, pet. I've got meself a steak and kidney pie. Oh look at that, I've gone and sat on the bastard. Would you believe it." }, { "id": 1783, "line_number": 22, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "_[Pulls Lynn to the side]_ Can you keep an eye on him?", "dialogue": "[Pulls Lynn to the side] Can you keep an eye on him?" }, { "id": 1784, "line_number": 23, "character": { "id": 2, "first_name": "Lynn", "last_name": "Benfield", "full_name": "Lynn Benfield" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Yes.", "dialogue": "Yes." }, { "id": 1785, "line_number": 24, "character": null, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "_[There's another knock at the door]_", "dialogue": "[There's another knock at the door]" }, { "id": 1786, "line_number": 25, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Oh thank god.", "dialogue": "Oh thank god." }, { "id": 1787, "line_number": 26, "character": { "id": 3, "first_name": "Michael", "last_name": "the Geordie", "full_name": "Michael the Geordie" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Aye aye!", "dialogue": "Aye aye!" }, { "id": 1788, "line_number": 27, "character": null, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "_[Alan opens the door, it's Mike Sampson, clutching a bottle of white wine]_", "dialogue": "[Alan opens the door, it's Mike Sampson, clutching a bottle of white wine]" }, { "id": 1789, "line_number": 28, "character": { "id": 19, "first_name": "Mike", "last_name": "Sampson", "full_name": "Mike Sampson" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Hello.", "dialogue": "Hello." }, { "id": 1790, "line_number": 29, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Ahh, come in.", "dialogue": "Ahh, come in." }, { "id": 1791, "line_number": 30, "character": { "id": 19, "first_name": "Mike", "last_name": "Sampson", "full_name": "Mike Sampson" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Thank you very much.", "dialogue": "Thank you very much." }, { "id": 1792, "line_number": 31, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Want a glass of wine?", "dialogue": "Want a glass of wine?" }, { "id": 1793, "line_number": 32, "character": { "id": 19, "first_name": "Mike", "last_name": "Sampson", "full_name": "Mike Sampson" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Thank you very much, cheers.", "dialogue": "Thank you very much, cheers." }, { "id": 1794, "line_number": 33, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": "to Lynn", "text": "What's he doing here?", "dialogue": "What's he doing here?" }, { "id": 1795, "line_number": 34, "character": { "id": 2, "first_name": "Lynn", "last_name": "Benfield", "full_name": "Lynn Benfield" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "You said invite a guest.", "dialogue": "You said invite a guest." }, { "id": 1796, "line_number": 35, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Lynn, that's just a phrase. I didn't mean it.", "dialogue": "Lynn, that's just a phrase. I didn't mean it." }, { "id": 1797, "line_number": 36, "character": { "id": 19, "first_name": "Mike", "last_name": "Sampson", "full_name": "Mike Sampson" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Nice room.", "dialogue": "Nice room." }, { "id": 1798, "line_number": 37, "character": { "id": 3, "first_name": "Michael", "last_name": "the Geordie", "full_name": "Michael the Geordie" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "So, who are you?", "dialogue": "So, who are you?" }, { "id": 1799, "line_number": 38, "character": { "id": 19, "first_name": "Mike", "last_name": "Sampson", "full_name": "Mike Sampson" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Oh, err, Mike Sampson. Pleased to meet you.", "dialogue": "Oh, err, Mike Sampson. Pleased to meet you." }, { "id": 1800, "line_number": 39, "character": { "id": 3, "first_name": "Michael", "last_name": "the Geordie", "full_name": "Michael the Geordie" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Oh, hey. I'm Michael an 'all. So err, have you got a job?", "dialogue": "Oh, hey. I'm Michael an 'all. So err, have you got a job?" }, { "id": 1801, "line_number": 40, "character": { "id": 19, "first_name": "Mike", "last_name": "Sampson", "full_name": "Mike Sampson" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Oh, yes, yes. I supply fitted kitchens. The funny thing is, that I've been in the business for 15 years, but I can't actually cook! You see a cookery book here, wouldn't be much use to me!", "dialogue": "Oh, yes, yes. I supply fitted kitchens. The funny thing is, that I've been in the business for 15 years, but I can't actually cook! You see a cookery book here, wouldn't be much use to me!" }, { "id": 1802, "line_number": 41, "character": { "id": 3, "first_name": "Michael", "last_name": "the Geordie", "full_name": "Michael the Geordie" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Mr Partridge, he said he sells kitchens, right, for 15 year, but he can't cook.", "dialogue": "Mr Partridge, he said he sells kitchens, right, for 15 year, but he can't cook." }, { "id": 1803, "line_number": 42, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "I know, I heard him.", "dialogue": "I know, I heard him." }, { "id": 1804, "line_number": 43, "character": { "id": 3, "first_name": "Michael", "last_name": "the Geordie", "full_name": "Michael the Geordie" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Then, right. He sees the cook book and he says \"It'd be nee good to me that, would it\"", "dialogue": "Then, right. He sees the cook book and he says \"It'd be nee good to me that, would it\"" }, { "id": 1805, "line_number": 44, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "I know, I heard him.", "dialogue": "I know, I heard him." }, { "id": 1806, "line_number": 45, "character": { "id": 3, "first_name": "Michael", "last_name": "the Geordie", "full_name": "Michael the Geordie" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Ah, come on. Lighten up, you stuffy git.", "dialogue": "Ah, come on. Lighten up, you stuffy git." }, { "id": 1807, "line_number": 46, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Lynn, this is terrible. This is terrible.", "dialogue": "Lynn, this is terrible. This is terrible." }, { "id": 1808, "line_number": 47, "character": null, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "_[There's another knock at the door, it's the rest of the hotel staff]_", "dialogue": "[There's another knock at the door, it's the rest of the hotel staff]" }, { "id": 1809, "line_number": 48, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Oh, the cavalry. Come on in. Great. Look at the sign there. It says \"Thank you, staff and goodbye\". Marvellous, it's all happening now. This is Michael, he sells kitchens.", "dialogue": "Oh, the cavalry. Come on in. Great. Look at the sign there. It says \"Thank you, staff and goodbye\". Marvellous, it's all happening now. This is Michael, he sells kitchens." }, { "id": 1810, "line_number": 49, "character": { "id": 19, "first_name": "Mike", "last_name": "Sampson", "full_name": "Mike Sampson" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "How do you do? Yes, I was just saying to the others. I sell kitchens, but I can't actually cook myself!", "dialogue": "How do you do? Yes, I was just saying to the others. I sell kitchens, but I can't actually cook myself!" }, { "id": 1811, "line_number": 50, "character": { "id": 3, "first_name": "Michael", "last_name": "the Geordie", "full_name": "Michael the Geordie" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Right. And then he spies that cookbook, right. And he says \"That'd be nee use to me, man\". He's crackers, man.", "dialogue": "Right. And then he spies that cookbook, right. And he says \"That'd be nee use to me, man\". He's crackers, man." }, { "id": 1812, "line_number": 51, "character": { "id": 7, "first_name": "Ben", "last_name": "Swain", "full_name": "Ben Swain" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "So, Mike, where do you live?", "dialogue": "So, Mike, where do you live?" }, { "id": 1813, "line_number": 52, "character": { "id": 19, "first_name": "Mike", "last_name": "Sampson", "full_name": "Mike Sampson" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Oh, I come from Acton in West London.", "dialogue": "Oh, I come from Acton in West London." }, { "id": 1814, "line_number": 53, "character": { "id": 6, "first_name": "Sophie", "last_name": "the receptionist", "full_name": "Sophie the receptionist" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Is that nice?", "dialogue": "Is that nice?" }, { "id": 1815, "line_number": 54, "character": { "id": 19, "first_name": "Mike", "last_name": "Sampson", "full_name": "Mike Sampson" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Yes, it's quite nice. A few too many blacks!", "dialogue": "Yes, it's quite nice. A few too many blacks!" }, { "id": 1816, "line_number": 55, "character": null, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "_[The staff and Alan are stunned by what he's just said, Alan kicks him out]_", "dialogue": "[The staff and Alan are stunned by what he's just said, Alan kicks him out]" }, { "id": 1817, "line_number": 56, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "I hope you don't mind. It's just that some people find what you said a bit racist. _[Mike laughs]_ Party bag? _[Alan hands him a sanitary bag]_", "dialogue": "I hope you don't mind. It's just that some people find what you said a bit racist. [Mike laughs] Party bag? [Alan hands him a sanitary bag]" }, { "id": 1818, "line_number": 57, "character": { "id": 19, "first_name": "Mike", "last_name": "Sampson", "full_name": "Mike Sampson" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Thank you very much, goodbye. _[Walks off laughing]_", "dialogue": "Thank you very much, goodbye. [Walks off laughing]" }, { "id": 1819, "line_number": 58, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Watch the fire hose!", "dialogue": "Watch the fire hose!" }, { "id": 1820, "line_number": 59, "character": { "id": 19, "first_name": "Mike", "last_name": "Sampson", "full_name": "Mike Sampson" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Oooooh! _[Continues laughing]_", "dialogue": "Oooooh! [Continues laughing]" }, { "id": 1821, "line_number": 60, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "So. What do people think about the pedestrianisation of Norwich city centre?", "dialogue": "So. What do people think about the pedestrianisation of Norwich city centre?" }, { "id": 1822, "line_number": 61, "character": { "id": 3, "first_name": "Michael", "last_name": "the Geordie", "full_name": "Michael the Geordie" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Hey, aye. I reckon it's a really good idea, like.", "dialogue": "Hey, aye. I reckon it's a really good idea, like." }, { "id": 1823, "line_number": 62, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "You're wrong.", "dialogue": "You're wrong." }, { "id": 1824, "line_number": 63, "character": { "id": 3, "first_name": "Michael", "last_name": "the Geordie", "full_name": "Michael the Geordie" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Oh, man. What about mothers with pushchairs and little bairns and that?", "dialogue": "Oh, man. What about mothers with pushchairs and little bairns and that?" }, { "id": 1825, "line_number": 64, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Oh, Michael. You've got a lot to learn.", "dialogue": "Oh, Michael. You've got a lot to learn." }, { "id": 1826, "line_number": 65, "character": { "id": 3, "first_name": "Michael", "last_name": "the Geordie", "full_name": "Michael the Geordie" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "No, man, look. It's you that's got a lot to learn, right.", "dialogue": "No, man, look. It's you that's got a lot to learn, right." }, { "id": 1827, "line_number": 66, "character": { "id": 5, "first_name": "Susan", "last_name": "Foster", "full_name": "Susan Foster" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Err, Michael! Michael, Mr Partridge is still a guest in this hotel. Now I think perhaps you've had just a little bit too much to drink, and maybe it's time you should leave.", "dialogue": "Err, Michael! Michael, Mr Partridge is still a guest in this hotel. Now I think perhaps you've had just a little bit too much to drink, and maybe it's time you should leave." }, { "id": 1828, "line_number": 67, "character": { "id": 3, "first_name": "Michael", "last_name": "the Geordie", "full_name": "Michael the Geordie" }, "custom_character_name": "_[Leaving]_", "text": "If that's how you all feel…", "dialogue": "If that's how you all feel…" }, { "id": 1829, "line_number": 68, "character": { "id": 5, "first_name": "Susan", "last_name": "Foster", "full_name": "Susan Foster" }, "custom_character_name": "to Ben and Sophie", "text": "Now, you two can stop giggling.", "dialogue": "Now, you two can stop giggling." }, { "id": 1830, "line_number": 69, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": "to Ben and Sophie", "text": "I don't know what her problem is.", "dialogue": "I don't know what her problem is." }, { "id": 1831, "line_number": 70, "character": { "id": 5, "first_name": "Susan", "last_name": "Foster", "full_name": "Susan Foster" }, "custom_character_name": "_[Shouting]_", "text": "I'll tell you what my problem is! Having to listen to your crap for the last six months! You've been in this hotel for 182 days, you little shit. Ben, Sophie, I want you on reception. And you! Check-out is twelve noon tomorrow!", "dialogue": "I'll tell you what my problem is! Having to listen to your crap for the last six months! You've been in this hotel for 182 days, you little shit. Ben, Sophie, I want you on reception. And you! Check-out is twelve noon tomorrow!" }, { "id": 1832, "line_number": 71, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "_[Handing a party bag (which is a sanitary bag) to Susan]_ Do you want one of these?", "dialogue": "[Handing a party bag (which is a sanitary bag) to Susan] Do you want one of these?" }, { "id": 1833, "line_number": 72, "character": { "id": 5, "first_name": "Susan", "last_name": "Foster", "full_name": "Susan Foster" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "A sanitary bag?! What are you trying to say? _[Slaps Alan, then leaves]_", "dialogue": "A sanitary bag?! What are you trying to say? [Slaps Alan, then leaves]" }, { "id": 1834, "line_number": 73, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": "to Lynn", "text": "I think that went quite well. Shall we clear up? I fancy an early night.", "dialogue": "I think that went quite well. Shall we clear up? I fancy an early night." }, { "id": 1835, "line_number": 74, "character": { "id": 2, "first_name": "Lynn", "last_name": "Benfield", "full_name": "Lynn Benfield" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Shall I put \"Black Beauty\" back on again?", "dialogue": "Shall I put \"Black Beauty\" back on again?" }, { "id": 1836, "line_number": 75, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Yes. We can clear up while we listen to \"Black Beauty\".", "dialogue": "Yes. We can clear up while we listen to \"Black Beauty\"." } ] } ], "links": { "self": "https://alanpartridgescripts.co.uk/api/v1/episodes/im-alan-partridge/series-1/episode-6-towering-alan.json", "web": "https://alanpartridgescripts.co.uk/im-alan-partridge/series-1/episode-6-towering-alan" } } }