{ "data": { "id": 9, "title": "Brave Alan", "slug": "episode-3-brave-alan", "episode_number": 3, "episode_code": "S02E03", "overview": "Alan's new friend Dan pulls some strings in order to get Alan the job of presenting a prize at the Norfolk Bravery Awards. Meanwhile, Alan's flighty girlfriend, Sonja, has decided that practical jokes are hilarious, especially plastic fried eggs.", "description": "Alan meets Dan, who spookily likes various things he does - Lexuses (or rather \"Lexi\"), Lynx deodorant, The Daily Mail, Directors Bitter and calling people \"saaad\". They become instant friends, and since Dan owns a successful kitchen company, he could provide both a good deal on a kitchen and a chance to climb Norfolk's social ladder.", "first_aired": "2002-11-25T00:00:00.000Z", "intro_image_url": null, "series": { "id": 2, "title": "I'm Alan Partridge: Series 2", "slug": "series-2", "series_number": 2, "series_code": "S02", "programme": { "id": 1, "title": "I'm Alan Partridge", "slug": "im-alan-partridge", "links": { "self": "https://alanpartridgescripts.co.uk/api/v1/programmes/im-alan-partridge.json" } }, "links": { "self": "https://alanpartridgescripts.co.uk/api/v1/series/im-alan-partridge/series-2.json", "web": "https://alanpartridgescripts.co.uk/im-alan-partridge/series-2" } }, "scenes": [ { "id": 136, "title": "Alan is beginning his \"Norfolk Nights\" show", "order_in_episode": 1, "image_url": null, "lines": [ { "id": 2389, "line_number": 1, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Tonight, we're talking about death.", "dialogue": "Tonight, we're talking about death." }, { "id": 2390, "line_number": 2, "character": { "id": 35, "first_name": "Announcer", "last_name": null, "full_name": "Announcer" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Wivenhoe, Flitwick, Tiptree, Holbeach, Pinchbeck, Terrington St Clement, Thetford Forest. It's 10pm, this is \"Norfolk Nights\" with Alan Partridge.", "dialogue": "Wivenhoe, Flitwick, Tiptree, Holbeach, Pinchbeck, Terrington St Clement, Thetford Forest. It's 10pm, this is \"Norfolk Nights\" with Alan Partridge." }, { "id": 2391, "line_number": 3, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "How would you like to be disposed of, when you're dead? We're taking letters and emails on that tonight, starting with a letter from Mike who's 24. He'd like to be buried in a large satin-lined coffin, with a couple of Page Three stunners. They're alive, he says… I'm not reading that out.", "dialogue": "How would you like to be disposed of, when you're dead? We're taking letters and emails on that tonight, starting with a letter from Mike who's 24. He'd like to be buried in a large satin-lined coffin, with a couple of Page Three stunners. They're alive, he says… I'm not reading that out." }, { "id": 2392, "line_number": 4, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Another letter here from Susan from Spixworth. She said she'd like her ashes to be scattered in a nice field or meadow. That's the kind of thing we want.", "dialogue": "Another letter here from Susan from Spixworth. She said she'd like her ashes to be scattered in a nice field or meadow. That's the kind of thing we want." }, { "id": 2393, "line_number": 5, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "We're also taking emails on the big question. What happens after we die? Frederick emails to say he has four children. He is the proud father of a new baby boy, Joshua, and his daughter, Susan, five, has just started school. And he thinks after death, there is nothing.", "dialogue": "We're also taking emails on the big question. What happens after we die? Frederick emails to say he has four children. He is the proud father of a new baby boy, Joshua, and his daughter, Susan, five, has just started school. And he thinks after death, there is nothing." }, { "id": 2394, "line_number": 6, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "OK. Two questions. How are we going to eat, and what floor's the restaurant on? The answer is \"The Chinese Way\" and Level 42.", "dialogue": "OK. Two questions. How are we going to eat, and what floor's the restaurant on? The answer is \"The Chinese Way\" and Level 42." }, { "id": 2395, "line_number": 7, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Ooh, that was Terence Trent D'Arby, cocky man from the '80s, helping everyone relax in \"Alan's Deep Bath\".", "dialogue": "Ooh, that was Terence Trent D'Arby, cocky man from the '80s, helping everyone relax in \"Alan's Deep Bath\"." }, { "id": 2396, "line_number": 8, "character": { "id": 35, "first_name": "Announcer", "last_name": null, "full_name": "Announcer" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "\"Alan's Deep Bath\"", "dialogue": "\"Alan's Deep Bath\"" }, { "id": 2397, "line_number": 9, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "We're down to the final lather. Just relax. There's a foamy bit on your shoulder. Let's make it more frothy with a squirt of light lemon liquid. Don't you feel good? Relax. Don't fall asleep and slip under… there's some terrible statistics about that. Let's just finish your neck off now with some final suds. Mmmmm!", "dialogue": "We're down to the final lather. Just relax. There's a foamy bit on your shoulder. Let's make it more frothy with a squirt of light lemon liquid. Don't you feel good? Relax. Don't fall asleep and slip under… there's some terrible statistics about that. Let's just finish your neck off now with some final suds. Mmmmm!" }, { "id": 2398, "line_number": 10, "character": { "id": 35, "first_name": "Announcer", "last_name": null, "full_name": "Announcer" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "\"Alan's Deep Bath\"", "dialogue": "\"Alan's Deep Bath\"" }, { "id": 2399, "line_number": 11, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Brought to you, by Dettol.", "dialogue": "Brought to you, by Dettol." }, { "id": 2400, "line_number": 12, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "It's 1am. Calling all pigeons. There's a cat amongst you. And that cat's name, is Dave Clifton. Prrr-opping up the bar, in his fictional \"Nightclub\"", "dialogue": "It's 1am. Calling all pigeons. There's a cat amongst you. And that cat's name, is Dave Clifton. Prrr-opping up the bar, in his fictional \"Nightclub\"" }, { "id": 2401, "line_number": 13, "character": { "id": 4, "first_name": "Dave", "last_name": "Clifton", "full_name": "Dave Clifton" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Yeah, well. Better being in a fictional nightclub than a fictional bath, Alan.", "dialogue": "Yeah, well. Better being in a fictional nightclub than a fictional bath, Alan." }, { "id": 2402, "line_number": 14, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Yeah, well it's better than having fictional listeners, Dave. It's bad enough sitting on your own in a real nightclub, which I've seen you do, but sitting on your own in a fictional one is got to be the worth of boast worlds.", "dialogue": "Yeah, well it's better than having fictional listeners, Dave. It's bad enough sitting on your own in a real nightclub, which I've seen you do, but sitting on your own in a fictional one is got to be the worth of boast worlds." }, { "id": 2403, "line_number": 15, "character": { "id": 4, "first_name": "Dave", "last_name": "Clifton", "full_name": "Dave Clifton" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Sorry, Alan. Don't you mean the worst of both worlds?", "dialogue": "Sorry, Alan. Don't you mean the worst of both worlds?" }, { "id": 2404, "line_number": 16, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "No, no, no. I do mean the worth of boast worlds. IE, in the world of boasters -- not the biscuits, but people who boast, like you. Their worth is worth… you know…", "dialogue": "No, no, no. I do mean the worth of boast worlds. IE, in the world of boasters -- not the biscuits, but people who boast, like you. Their worth is worth… you know…" }, { "id": 2405, "line_number": 17, "character": { "id": 4, "first_name": "Dave", "last_name": "Clifton", "full_name": "Dave Clifton" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "OK. Here's Matt Bianco.", "dialogue": "OK. Here's Matt Bianco." } ] }, { "id": 137, "title": "Alan is at the petrol station, talking to Michael", "order_in_episode": 2, "image_url": null, "lines": [ { "id": 2406, "line_number": 1, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Chap there parked on the wrong side of the pumps. Amazing the number of people who still think the petrol cap to a Ford Focus is on the offside rear.", "dialogue": "Chap there parked on the wrong side of the pumps. Amazing the number of people who still think the petrol cap to a Ford Focus is on the offside rear." }, { "id": 2407, "line_number": 2, "character": { "id": 3, "first_name": "Michael", "last_name": "the Geordie", "full_name": "Michael the Geordie" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "When will they learn?", "dialogue": "When will they learn?" }, { "id": 2408, "line_number": 3, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "You know what that is, Michael? It's saaaaad. There's no point pulling it mate, it's not going to reach. He's determined to make it reach. Oh, he has done.", "dialogue": "You know what that is, Michael? It's saaaaad. There's no point pulling it mate, it's not going to reach. He's determined to make it reach. Oh, he has done." }, { "id": 2409, "line_number": 4, "character": { "id": 3, "first_name": "Michael", "last_name": "the Geordie", "full_name": "Michael the Geordie" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "So, was it a good show tonight? Did anybody actually phone in?", "dialogue": "So, was it a good show tonight? Did anybody actually phone in?" }, { "id": 2410, "line_number": 5, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Had a fascinating discussion about reincarnation with a chap from Spixworth. Who was convinced that in a previous life, he'd been Arthur Askey. I pointed out that his and Askey's life had overlapped, and he backed down.", "dialogue": "Had a fascinating discussion about reincarnation with a chap from Spixworth. Who was convinced that in a previous life, he'd been Arthur Askey. I pointed out that his and Askey's life had overlapped, and he backed down." }, { "id": 2411, "line_number": 6, "character": { "id": 3, "first_name": "Michael", "last_name": "the Geordie", "full_name": "Michael the Geordie" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "I believe in reincarnation, like. I'd like to come back as an animal. Like a dolphin.", "dialogue": "I believe in reincarnation, like. I'd like to come back as an animal. Like a dolphin." }, { "id": 2412, "line_number": 7, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Dolphins are quite intelligent, Michael.", "dialogue": "Dolphins are quite intelligent, Michael." }, { "id": 2413, "line_number": 8, "character": { "id": 3, "first_name": "Michael", "last_name": "the Geordie", "full_name": "Michael the Geordie" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "I can jump through a hoop and catch a fish in me mooth.", "dialogue": "I can jump through a hoop and catch a fish in me mooth." }, { "id": 2414, "line_number": 9, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Could you, really?", "dialogue": "Could you, really?" }, { "id": 2415, "line_number": 10, "character": { "id": 3, "first_name": "Michael", "last_name": "the Geordie", "full_name": "Michael the Geordie" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Yeah, yeah.", "dialogue": "Yeah, yeah." }, { "id": 2416, "line_number": 11, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "But can you do this?", "dialogue": "But can you do this?" }, { "id": 2417, "line_number": 12, "character": { "id": 3, "first_name": "Michael", "last_name": "the Geordie", "full_name": "Michael the Geordie" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "What's that?", "dialogue": "What's that?" }, { "id": 2418, "line_number": 13, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "It's a dolphin chatting.", "dialogue": "It's a dolphin chatting." }, { "id": 2419, "line_number": 14, "character": { "id": 3, "first_name": "Michael", "last_name": "the Geordie", "full_name": "Michael the Geordie" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Oh, I can do a whale. Ooooooh!", "dialogue": "Oh, I can do a whale. Ooooooh!" }, { "id": 2420, "line_number": 15, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "No, that's a homosexual. It's a fascinating subject, reincarnation. I always wonder what Lynn would come back as.", "dialogue": "No, that's a homosexual. It's a fascinating subject, reincarnation. I always wonder what Lynn would come back as." }, { "id": 2421, "line_number": 16, "character": { "id": 3, "first_name": "Michael", "last_name": "the Geordie", "full_name": "Michael the Geordie" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Aye, a badger. I've always seen her as a badger.", "dialogue": "Aye, a badger. I've always seen her as a badger." }, { "id": 2422, "line_number": 17, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "I can imagine her coming out of a hole, sniffing the air.", "dialogue": "I can imagine her coming out of a hole, sniffing the air." }, { "id": 2423, "line_number": 18, "character": { "id": 3, "first_name": "Michael", "last_name": "the Geordie", "full_name": "Michael the Geordie" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Then you can smack her heed with a shovel!", "dialogue": "Then you can smack her heed with a shovel!" }, { "id": 2424, "line_number": 19, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "No, I wouldn't do that, Michael. Even if she was a badger.", "dialogue": "No, I wouldn't do that, Michael. Even if she was a badger." }, { "id": 2425, "line_number": 20, "character": { "id": 3, "first_name": "Michael", "last_name": "the Geordie", "full_name": "Michael the Geordie" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "You've got to control them, man. You know, they've got TB.", "dialogue": "You've got to control them, man. You know, they've got TB." }, { "id": 2426, "line_number": 21, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "So had the Bronte sisters. I wouldn't hit them over the head with a shovel, no matter how bad the books were. \"Heathcliff\" PANG! Then he really would be wuthering.", "dialogue": "So had the Bronte sisters. I wouldn't hit them over the head with a shovel, no matter how bad the books were. \"Heathcliff\" PANG! Then he really would be wuthering." }, { "id": 2427, "line_number": 22, "character": { "id": 3, "first_name": "Michael", "last_name": "the Geordie", "full_name": "Michael the Geordie" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Aye, look. A Lexus. It's a better one than yours.", "dialogue": "Aye, look. A Lexus. It's a better one than yours." }, { "id": 2428, "line_number": 23, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "It's interesting, Michael, since owning a Lexus, it's amazing the number of Lexi you see around. Because that's the plural.", "dialogue": "It's interesting, Michael, since owning a Lexus, it's amazing the number of Lexi you see around. Because that's the plural." } ] }, { "id": 138, "title": "Alan's future best friend, Dan, walks into the garage", "order_in_episode": 3, "image_url": null, "lines": [ { "id": 2429, "line_number": 1, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "The Daily Mail.", "dialogue": "The Daily Mail." }, { "id": 2430, "line_number": 2, "character": { "id": 11, "first_name": "Dan", "last_name": "Moody", "full_name": "Dan Moody" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Yep.", "dialogue": "Yep." }, { "id": 2431, "line_number": 3, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Arguably the best newspaper in the world.", "dialogue": "Arguably the best newspaper in the world." }, { "id": 2432, "line_number": 4, "character": { "id": 11, "first_name": "Dan", "last_name": "Moody", "full_name": "Dan Moody" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Oh, yes.", "dialogue": "Oh, yes." }, { "id": 2433, "line_number": 5, "character": { "id": 3, "first_name": "Michael", "last_name": "the Geordie", "full_name": "Michael the Geordie" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Nice Lexus.", "dialogue": "Nice Lexus." }, { "id": 2434, "line_number": 6, "character": { "id": 11, "first_name": "Dan", "last_name": "Moody", "full_name": "Dan Moody" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Yes. I love Lexi.", "dialogue": "Yes. I love Lexi." }, { "id": 2435, "line_number": 7, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Yeah, I always have a thing I say about Lexus, is like the…", "dialogue": "Yeah, I always have a thing I say about Lexus, is like the…" }, { "id": 2436, "line_number": 8, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": "and Dan", "text": "Japanese Mercedes.", "dialogue": "Japanese Mercedes." }, { "id": 2437, "line_number": 9, "character": { "id": 11, "first_name": "Dan", "last_name": "Moody", "full_name": "Dan Moody" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Yeah, well I hate Mercs. People who drive them are just sa-a-ad.", "dialogue": "Yeah, well I hate Mercs. People who drive them are just sa-a-ad." }, { "id": 2438, "line_number": 10, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Are you wearing Lynx?", "dialogue": "Are you wearing Lynx?" }, { "id": 2439, "line_number": 11, "character": { "id": 11, "first_name": "Dan", "last_name": "Moody", "full_name": "Dan Moody" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Well smelt. Voodoo.", "dialogue": "Well smelt. Voodoo." }, { "id": 2440, "line_number": 12, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Java. Alan Partridge.", "dialogue": "Java. Alan Partridge." }, { "id": 2441, "line_number": 13, "character": { "id": 11, "first_name": "Dan", "last_name": "Moody", "full_name": "Dan Moody" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Dan Moody.", "dialogue": "Dan Moody." }, { "id": 2442, "line_number": 14, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Pleased to meet you.", "dialogue": "Pleased to meet you." }, { "id": 2443, "line_number": 15, "character": { "id": 3, "first_name": "Michael", "last_name": "the Geordie", "full_name": "Michael the Geordie" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "I wear Tommy Hilfinger.", "dialogue": "I wear Tommy Hilfinger." }, { "id": 2444, "line_number": 16, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "It's Hilfiger.", "dialogue": "It's Hilfiger." }, { "id": 2445, "line_number": 17, "character": { "id": 3, "first_name": "Michael", "last_name": "the Geordie", "full_name": "Michael the Geordie" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "No, it says Hilfinger on the bottle.", "dialogue": "No, it says Hilfinger on the bottle." }, { "id": 2446, "line_number": 18, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Did you buy it down the market?", "dialogue": "Did you buy it down the market?" }, { "id": 2447, "line_number": 19, "character": { "id": 3, "first_name": "Michael", "last_name": "the Geordie", "full_name": "Michael the Geordie" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Aye.", "dialogue": "Aye." } ] }, { "id": 139, "title": "Alan and Dan discover how much they have in common", "order_in_episode": 4, "image_url": null, "lines": [ { "id": 2448, "line_number": 1, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "It's amazing, this Lexus connection. Next you'll be telling me you drink Directors Bitter.", "dialogue": "It's amazing, this Lexus connection. Next you'll be telling me you drink Directors Bitter." }, { "id": 2449, "line_number": 2, "character": { "id": 11, "first_name": "Dan", "last_name": "Moody", "full_name": "Dan Moody" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "I've got it coming out of my taps.", "dialogue": "I've got it coming out of my taps." }, { "id": 2450, "line_number": 3, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Have you?", "dialogue": "Have you?" }, { "id": 2451, "line_number": 4, "character": { "id": 11, "first_name": "Dan", "last_name": "Moody", "full_name": "Dan Moody" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "I'm joking.", "dialogue": "I'm joking." }, { "id": 2452, "line_number": 5, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Great! It's amazing we both like the Daily Mail. We both drive Lexi.", "dialogue": "Great! It's amazing we both like the Daily Mail. We both drive Lexi." }, { "id": 2453, "line_number": 6, "character": { "id": 11, "first_name": "Dan", "last_name": "Moody", "full_name": "Dan Moody" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Plural.", "dialogue": "Plural." }, { "id": 2454, "line_number": 7, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Plural. And we both drink Directors Bitter. It's like the \"X-Files\", but a pleasant \"X-Files\".", "dialogue": "Plural. And we both drink Directors Bitter. It's like the \"X-Files\", but a pleasant \"X-Files\"." }, { "id": 2455, "line_number": 8, "character": { "id": 11, "first_name": "Dan", "last_name": "Moody", "full_name": "Dan Moody" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "The Lex Files.", "dialogue": "The Lex Files." }, { "id": 2456, "line_number": 9, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "God, that's good. Can I shake your hand again?", "dialogue": "God, that's good. Can I shake your hand again?" }, { "id": 2457, "line_number": 10, "character": { "id": 11, "first_name": "Dan", "last_name": "Moody", "full_name": "Dan Moody" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Take a card.", "dialogue": "Take a card." }, { "id": 2458, "line_number": 11, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Oh, you combined the card with the handshake. I used to do that, but kept getting it wrong. Gave a paper cut to a man from Nestle. You own Kitchen Planet on the A416.", "dialogue": "Oh, you combined the card with the handshake. I used to do that, but kept getting it wrong. Gave a paper cut to a man from Nestle. You own Kitchen Planet on the A416." }, { "id": 2459, "line_number": 12, "character": { "id": 11, "first_name": "Dan", "last_name": "Moody", "full_name": "Dan Moody" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "The very same.", "dialogue": "The very same." }, { "id": 2460, "line_number": 13, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "It's massive.", "dialogue": "It's massive." }, { "id": 2461, "line_number": 14, "character": { "id": 11, "first_name": "Dan", "last_name": "Moody", "full_name": "Dan Moody" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "10,000 square feet of sheer kitchens. And I know who you are. \"Norfolk Nights\".", "dialogue": "10,000 square feet of sheer kitchens. And I know who you are. \"Norfolk Nights\"." }, { "id": 2462, "line_number": 15, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "The very same. And, of course, \"Skirmish\", a military-based general knowledge quiz show on digital cable channel UK Conquest. That has the largest audience share for a digital channel at that time of day, in the Norfolk area.", "dialogue": "The very same. And, of course, \"Skirmish\", a military-based general knowledge quiz show on digital cable channel UK Conquest. That has the largest audience share for a digital channel at that time of day, in the Norfolk area." }, { "id": 2463, "line_number": 16, "character": { "id": 3, "first_name": "Michael", "last_name": "the Geordie", "full_name": "Michael the Geordie" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "You should dee him a cheap kitchen. He wants a kitchen.", "dialogue": "You should dee him a cheap kitchen. He wants a kitchen." }, { "id": 2464, "line_number": 17, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Michael, I wouldn't insult this man by asking for a 25% discount on a kitchen.", "dialogue": "Michael, I wouldn't insult this man by asking for a 25% discount on a kitchen." }, { "id": 2465, "line_number": 18, "character": { "id": 11, "first_name": "Dan", "last_name": "Moody", "full_name": "Dan Moody" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "You're looking for a kitchen, I can get you a kitchen, let's talk.", "dialogue": "You're looking for a kitchen, I can get you a kitchen, let's talk." }, { "id": 2466, "line_number": 19, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Fancy a Flav?", "dialogue": "Fancy a Flav?" }, { "id": 2467, "line_number": 20, "character": { "id": 11, "first_name": "Dan", "last_name": "Moody", "full_name": "Dan Moody" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Flavia? Good call.", "dialogue": "Flavia? Good call." }, { "id": 2468, "line_number": 21, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "King of coffees.", "dialogue": "King of coffees." }, { "id": 2469, "line_number": 22, "character": { "id": 11, "first_name": "Dan", "last_name": "Moody", "full_name": "Dan Moody" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Oh, in off the red.", "dialogue": "Oh, in off the red." }, { "id": 2470, "line_number": 23, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "How do you take it?", "dialogue": "How do you take it?" }, { "id": 2471, "line_number": 24, "character": { "id": 11, "first_name": "Dan", "last_name": "Moody", "full_name": "Dan Moody" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Unleaded.", "dialogue": "Unleaded." }, { "id": 2472, "line_number": 25, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Mine's diesel.", "dialogue": "Mine's diesel." }, { "id": 2473, "line_number": 26, "character": { "id": 11, "first_name": "Dan", "last_name": "Moody", "full_name": "Dan Moody" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "What does that mean?", "dialogue": "What does that mean?" }, { "id": 2474, "line_number": 27, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "I don't know. You know, we've got a lot in common, we should go for a proper drink. I mean, you provide quality kitchens and I provide…", "dialogue": "I don't know. You know, we've got a lot in common, we should go for a proper drink. I mean, you provide quality kitchens and I provide…" }, { "id": 2475, "line_number": 28, "character": { "id": 11, "first_name": "Dan", "last_name": "Moody", "full_name": "Dan Moody" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Quality radio.", "dialogue": "Quality radio." }, { "id": 2476, "line_number": 29, "character": { "id": 3, "first_name": "Michael", "last_name": "the Geordie", "full_name": "Michael the Geordie" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "And I work in a petrol station.", "dialogue": "And I work in a petrol station." }, { "id": 2477, "line_number": 30, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Yeah, but it's just me and Dan that's going for the drink.", "dialogue": "Yeah, but it's just me and Dan that's going for the drink." }, { "id": 2478, "line_number": 31, "character": { "id": 3, "first_name": "Michael", "last_name": "the Geordie", "full_name": "Michael the Geordie" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Oh, yeah, fine. I'll just get hammered on me own.", "dialogue": "Oh, yeah, fine. I'll just get hammered on me own." }, { "id": 2479, "line_number": 32, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Oh, well. I'll walk you to your Lexus.", "dialogue": "Oh, well. I'll walk you to your Lexus." }, { "id": 2480, "line_number": 33, "character": { "id": 3, "first_name": "Michael", "last_name": "the Geordie", "full_name": "Michael the Geordie" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Shall I put these on the tab?", "dialogue": "Shall I put these on the tab?" }, { "id": 2481, "line_number": 34, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Tab? I haven't got a tab! I wish I could. I wish I could afford a tab. I can afford one, I've got a six-figure income.", "dialogue": "Tab? I haven't got a tab! I wish I could. I wish I could afford a tab. I can afford one, I've got a six-figure income." } ] }, { "id": 140, "title": "Alan is in the static home with Sonja", "order_in_episode": 5, "image_url": null, "lines": [ { "id": 2482, "line_number": 1, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Well, Sonja, that was classic intercourse. So, err. Thanks. OK. Let's just pop the extractor fan on, get a through draught going.", "dialogue": "Well, Sonja, that was classic intercourse. So, err. Thanks. OK. Let's just pop the extractor fan on, get a through draught going." }, { "id": 2483, "line_number": 2, "character": { "id": 23, "first_name": "Sonja", "last_name": null, "full_name": "Sonja" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Alan, do you want an egg in a bap?", "dialogue": "Alan, do you want an egg in a bap?" }, { "id": 2484, "line_number": 3, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Yes, please.", "dialogue": "Yes, please." }, { "id": 2485, "line_number": 4, "character": { "id": 23, "first_name": "Sonja", "last_name": null, "full_name": "Sonja" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Here comes your egg in a bap.", "dialogue": "Here comes your egg in a bap." }, { "id": 2486, "line_number": 5, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Oooh, great. Mmmm, yum-yum. Argh, it's plastic. I'll look back on that as an excellent practical joke. I presume there's some sort of whoopee cushion in here somewhere?", "dialogue": "Oooh, great. Mmmm, yum-yum. Argh, it's plastic. I'll look back on that as an excellent practical joke. I presume there's some sort of whoopee cushion in here somewhere?" }, { "id": 2487, "line_number": 6, "character": { "id": 23, "first_name": "Sonja", "last_name": null, "full_name": "Sonja" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Yes.", "dialogue": "Yes." }, { "id": 2488, "line_number": 7, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "I'll look forward to that, taking me by surprise. Where's Lynn? She's never normally late.", "dialogue": "I'll look forward to that, taking me by surprise. Where's Lynn? She's never normally late." }, { "id": 2489, "line_number": 8, "character": { "id": 23, "first_name": "Sonja", "last_name": null, "full_name": "Sonja" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "So, this Dan the kitchen man. You like him? You think he will be friend?", "dialogue": "So, this Dan the kitchen man. You like him? You think he will be friend?" }, { "id": 2490, "line_number": 9, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Yes, I'm convinced, he's my best friend.", "dialogue": "Yes, I'm convinced, he's my best friend." }, { "id": 2491, "line_number": 10, "character": { "id": 23, "first_name": "Sonja", "last_name": null, "full_name": "Sonja" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "It will be difficult day for me today in coffee shop. There is new stock, I have to cut the carrot cake.", "dialogue": "It will be difficult day for me today in coffee shop. There is new stock, I have to cut the carrot cake." }, { "id": 2492, "line_number": 11, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "And they say nurses have it tough.", "dialogue": "And they say nurses have it tough." } ] }, { "id": 141, "title": "Lynn arrives at the static home", "order_in_episode": 6, "image_url": null, "lines": [ { "id": 2493, "line_number": 1, "character": null, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "_[There's a knock at the door]_", "dialogue": "[There's a knock at the door]" }, { "id": 2494, "line_number": 2, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Oh, good. Lynn, come in.", "dialogue": "Oh, good. Lynn, come in." }, { "id": 2495, "line_number": 3, "character": { "id": 2, "first_name": "Lynn", "last_name": "Benfield", "full_name": "Lynn Benfield" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Sorry I'm late. I mean, I know I'm not late. I'm just a little bit late.", "dialogue": "Sorry I'm late. I mean, I know I'm not late. I'm just a little bit late." }, { "id": 2496, "line_number": 4, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Did you get my…", "dialogue": "Did you get my…" }, { "id": 2497, "line_number": 5, "character": { "id": 2, "first_name": "Lynn", "last_name": "Benfield", "full_name": "Lynn Benfield" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "I couldn't find my keys. You see, I had a bit of a late night, last night. We went for a curry, and when we were about to leave, the heavens just opened and we were stuck in the foyer. And we were just pointing at the rain, saying \"We're stuck, we're stuck, we're stuck!\".", "dialogue": "I couldn't find my keys. You see, I had a bit of a late night, last night. We went for a curry, and when we were about to leave, the heavens just opened and we were stuck in the foyer. And we were just pointing at the rain, saying \"We're stuck, we're stuck, we're stuck!\"." }, { "id": 2498, "line_number": 6, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Lynn, has your mother's death just hit you?", "dialogue": "Lynn, has your mother's death just hit you?" }, { "id": 2499, "line_number": 7, "character": { "id": 2, "first_name": "Lynn", "last_name": "Benfield", "full_name": "Lynn Benfield" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "No, we were stuck in the foyer…", "dialogue": "No, we were stuck in the foyer…" }, { "id": 2500, "line_number": 8, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Hang on a second, who's we?", "dialogue": "Hang on a second, who's we?" }, { "id": 2501, "line_number": 9, "character": { "id": 2, "first_name": "Lynn", "last_name": "Benfield", "full_name": "Lynn Benfield" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Me and my friend from church.", "dialogue": "Me and my friend from church." }, { "id": 2502, "line_number": 10, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "And what's her name?", "dialogue": "And what's her name?" }, { "id": 2503, "line_number": 11, "character": { "id": 2, "first_name": "Lynn", "last_name": "Benfield", "full_name": "Lynn Benfield" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "It's a he.", "dialogue": "It's a he." }, { "id": 2504, "line_number": 12, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Right, Lynn. Sit down.", "dialogue": "Right, Lynn. Sit down." }, { "id": 2505, "line_number": 13, "character": null, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "_[Lynn sits on the whoopee cushion]_", "dialogue": "[Lynn sits on the whoopee cushion]" }, { "id": 2506, "line_number": 14, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Don't worry about that. It's just a cushion that simulates rectal gas. Now, what's his name.", "dialogue": "Don't worry about that. It's just a cushion that simulates rectal gas. Now, what's his name." }, { "id": 2507, "line_number": 15, "character": { "id": 2, "first_name": "Lynn", "last_name": "Benfield", "full_name": "Lynn Benfield" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Gordon.", "dialogue": "Gordon." }, { "id": 2508, "line_number": 16, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "How long has Gordon been a member of the church?", "dialogue": "How long has Gordon been a member of the church?" }, { "id": 2509, "line_number": 17, "character": { "id": 2, "first_name": "Lynn", "last_name": "Benfield", "full_name": "Lynn Benfield" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "A few weeks, he's just moved into the area.", "dialogue": "A few weeks, he's just moved into the area." }, { "id": 2510, "line_number": 18, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "He's a con man.", "dialogue": "He's a con man." }, { "id": 2511, "line_number": 19, "character": { "id": 2, "first_name": "Lynn", "last_name": "Benfield", "full_name": "Lynn Benfield" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "No. He's a retired policeman.", "dialogue": "No. He's a retired policeman." }, { "id": 2512, "line_number": 20, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Lynn, bigamists have several identities. To men like that, the building society books of women like you make fascinating reading.", "dialogue": "Lynn, bigamists have several identities. To men like that, the building society books of women like you make fascinating reading." }, { "id": 2513, "line_number": 21, "character": { "id": 2, "first_name": "Lynn", "last_name": "Benfield", "full_name": "Lynn Benfield" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Sorry. Just thinking of Gordon and me stuck in the rain.", "dialogue": "Sorry. Just thinking of Gordon and me stuck in the rain." }, { "id": 2514, "line_number": 22, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Stop laughing, Lynn. You're laughing at weather! You're like your mother in her last few weeks. We'll have to have a serious talk in the morning.", "dialogue": "Stop laughing, Lynn. You're laughing at weather! You're like your mother in her last few weeks. We'll have to have a serious talk in the morning." } ] }, { "id": 142, "title": "Alan receives a phone call from Dan", "order_in_episode": 7, "image_url": null, "lines": [ { "id": 2515, "line_number": 1, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Hello, Partridge. You're through to the static home. Dan! Dan! Sir Dansworth of Moodyshire as I live and breathe! I know it was you. I keyed it in last night when I drove home. Nearly hit a badger. Yeah, well they're pests, aren't they. Yeah. They carry TB.", "dialogue": "Hello, Partridge. You're through to the static home. Dan! Dan! Sir Dansworth of Moodyshire as I live and breathe! I know it was you. I keyed it in last night when I drove home. Nearly hit a badger. Yeah, well they're pests, aren't they. Yeah. They carry TB." }, { "id": 2516, "line_number": 2, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "So, how's it hanging? Yes, I dress on the left too! I'd love to, love to.", "dialogue": "So, how's it hanging? Yes, I dress on the left too! I'd love to, love to." }, { "id": 2517, "line_number": 3, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": "to Sonja", "text": "Dan has asked me to present a prize at the Norfolk Bravery Awards tonight.", "dialogue": "Dan has asked me to present a prize at the Norfolk Bravery Awards tonight." }, { "id": 2518, "line_number": 4, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Yeah, I'd be delighted. Well, you've got to put a bit back.", "dialogue": "Yeah, I'd be delighted. Well, you've got to put a bit back." }, { "id": 2519, "line_number": 5, "character": null, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "_[Sonja attacks Alan with a joke hammer]_", "dialogue": "[Sonja attacks Alan with a joke hammer]" }, { "id": 2520, "line_number": 6, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "No, please! No! Oh, sorry. No, my Ukrainian girlfriend was attacking me with a rubber hammer. She's mildly cretinous. OK. Bye. Bye-bye.", "dialogue": "No, please! No! Oh, sorry. No, my Ukrainian girlfriend was attacking me with a rubber hammer. She's mildly cretinous. OK. Bye. Bye-bye." }, { "id": 2521, "line_number": 7, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": "to Lynn and Sonja", "text": "You know who's going to be at the Norfolk Bravery Awards?", "dialogue": "You know who's going to be at the Norfolk Bravery Awards?" }, { "id": 2522, "line_number": 8, "character": { "id": 23, "first_name": "Sonja", "last_name": null, "full_name": "Sonja" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Who?", "dialogue": "Who?" }, { "id": 2523, "line_number": 9, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Who!? It reads like a who's-who of anyone who's anyone, who's in the Norfolk area.", "dialogue": "Who!? It reads like a who's-who of anyone who's anyone, who's in the Norfolk area." }, { "id": 2524, "line_number": 10, "character": { "id": 2, "first_name": "Lynn", "last_name": "Benfield", "full_name": "Lynn Benfield" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Do you want me to come, Alan?", "dialogue": "Do you want me to come, Alan?" }, { "id": 2525, "line_number": 11, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "No thanks, Lynn. I'll be fine. You and Gordon can go and laugh at drizzle.", "dialogue": "No thanks, Lynn. I'll be fine. You and Gordon can go and laugh at drizzle." }, { "id": 2526, "line_number": 12, "character": { "id": 23, "first_name": "Sonja", "last_name": null, "full_name": "Sonja" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Tonight I will try out some of my jokes, and make brave people laugh again.", "dialogue": "Tonight I will try out some of my jokes, and make brave people laugh again." }, { "id": 2527, "line_number": 13, "character": { "id": 2, "first_name": "Lynn", "last_name": "Benfield", "full_name": "Lynn Benfield" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Do you need me to be…", "dialogue": "Do you need me to be…" }, { "id": 2528, "line_number": 14, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Just keep her away from the dignitaries.", "dialogue": "Just keep her away from the dignitaries." }, { "id": 2529, "line_number": 15, "character": { "id": 2, "first_name": "Lynn", "last_name": "Benfield", "full_name": "Lynn Benfield" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "What about brave people?", "dialogue": "What about brave people?" }, { "id": 2530, "line_number": 16, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Oh, she can mingle with them. As long as she doesn't use her whoopee cushion on someone with M.E.", "dialogue": "Oh, she can mingle with them. As long as she doesn't use her whoopee cushion on someone with M.E." }, { "id": 2531, "line_number": 17, "character": { "id": 2, "first_name": "Lynn", "last_name": "Benfield", "full_name": "Lynn Benfield" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "I'll be off then.", "dialogue": "I'll be off then." }, { "id": 2532, "line_number": 18, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "One more thing, Lynn.", "dialogue": "One more thing, Lynn." }, { "id": 2533, "line_number": 19, "character": null, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "_[Alan holds up a joke knife]_", "dialogue": "[Alan holds up a joke knife]" }, { "id": 2534, "line_number": 20, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Aaarrgh!", "dialogue": "Aaarrgh!" }, { "id": 2535, "line_number": 21, "character": null, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "_[Lynn grabs Alan by the neck]_", "dialogue": "[Lynn grabs Alan by the neck]" }, { "id": 2536, "line_number": 22, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "It's a joke knife! It's a joke knife! It's a joke knife! It's funnier than rain.", "dialogue": "It's a joke knife! It's a joke knife! It's a joke knife! It's funnier than rain." } ] }, { "id": 143, "title": "Alan is in the car with Lynn and Sonja heading to the Norfolk Bravery Awards", "order_in_episode": 8, "image_url": null, "lines": [ { "id": 2537, "line_number": 1, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Dan's a fantastic man! He really is. I was making him laugh this morning, I was on the phone to him. He was asking me what kind of phone I had, and I said \"A Motorola Timeport\". And he said \"That's Sa-a-ad! You want to upgrade\". And I said \"So do you, to a new face!\". He nearly soiled himself! He said he laughed so much, he had Kenco coming out of his nostrils. And that made me laugh. But my nostrils were clear. You can drown in a cup of coffee, or is it an inch of water?", "dialogue": "Dan's a fantastic man! He really is. I was making him laugh this morning, I was on the phone to him. He was asking me what kind of phone I had, and I said \"A Motorola Timeport\". And he said \"That's Sa-a-ad! You want to upgrade\". And I said \"So do you, to a new face!\". He nearly soiled himself! He said he laughed so much, he had Kenco coming out of his nostrils. And that made me laugh. But my nostrils were clear. You can drown in a cup of coffee, or is it an inch of water?" }, { "id": 2538, "line_number": 2, "character": { "id": 23, "first_name": "Sonja", "last_name": null, "full_name": "Sonja" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Alan, look. You're taking a man to the party.", "dialogue": "Alan, look. You're taking a man to the party." }, { "id": 2539, "line_number": 3, "character": null, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "_[Sonja is wearing a fake beard]_", "dialogue": "[Sonja is wearing a fake beard]" }, { "id": 2540, "line_number": 4, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": "to Lynn", "text": "Get it off her.", "dialogue": "Get it off her." }, { "id": 2541, "line_number": 5, "character": { "id": 2, "first_name": "Lynn", "last_name": "Benfield", "full_name": "Lynn Benfield" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Oh, look, Sonja.", "dialogue": "Oh, look, Sonja." }, { "id": 2542, "line_number": 6, "character": null, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "_[Lynn grabs the beard, hands it to Alan who throws it out of the car]_", "dialogue": "[Lynn grabs the beard, hands it to Alan who throws it out of the car]" }, { "id": 2543, "line_number": 7, "character": { "id": 23, "first_name": "Sonja", "last_name": null, "full_name": "Sonja" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Alan!", "dialogue": "Alan!" }, { "id": 2544, "line_number": 8, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Well done, Lynn. That was textbook.", "dialogue": "Well done, Lynn. That was textbook." } ] }, { "id": 144, "title": "Alan arrives at Choristers", "order_in_episode": 9, "image_url": null, "lines": [ { "id": 2545, "line_number": 1, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "I will, I will. But, Lynn, please have a word with the builder. Because the other day his jeans were so far off his backside, you could more or less see his anus. There's Dan. Dan! Dan! Dan! Dan! Dan! Dan! Dan! Dan! Dan! Dan! Dan! Dan! Dan! Dan! He's not seen me. I'll get him later. DAN! Fine.", "dialogue": "I will, I will. But, Lynn, please have a word with the builder. Because the other day his jeans were so far off his backside, you could more or less see his anus. There's Dan. Dan! Dan! Dan! Dan! Dan! Dan! Dan! Dan! Dan! Dan! Dan! Dan! Dan! Dan! He's not seen me. I'll get him later. DAN! Fine." } ] }, { "id": 145, "title": "Alan is presenting an award to Susan Cresswell at the Norfolk Bravery Awards", "order_in_episode": 10, "image_url": null, "lines": [ { "id": 2546, "line_number": 1, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "These awards are about people like Susan Cresswell. Susan is braver than ten firemen, or a dozen policemen. Four years ago, Susan lost her hand in a cake-cutting machine. She managed to walk 400 yards, holding her hand in her other hand, where she hailed a taxi. One can only imagine what that must have looked like. The quick thinking taxi driver drove her to a newsagent, where the hand was packed in Soleros, Magnums, Mini Milks and a Feast. After six hours of surgery, the hand was sewn back on. Sadly, it didn't work, so off it came again. But she still had one good hand, and she was damned if anyone was going to take that off her. No one was suggesting they were going to do that. Anyway, the point is, four years later, she is credit controller at Cromwell Certificated Bailiffs. Ladies and gentlemen, please give a big hand… Applaud! Applaud like mad for Susan Cresswell.", "dialogue": "These awards are about people like Susan Cresswell. Susan is braver than ten firemen, or a dozen policemen. Four years ago, Susan lost her hand in a cake-cutting machine. She managed to walk 400 yards, holding her hand in her other hand, where she hailed a taxi. One can only imagine what that must have looked like. The quick thinking taxi driver drove her to a newsagent, where the hand was packed in Soleros, Magnums, Mini Milks and a Feast. After six hours of surgery, the hand was sewn back on. Sadly, it didn't work, so off it came again. But she still had one good hand, and she was damned if anyone was going to take that off her. No one was suggesting they were going to do that. Anyway, the point is, four years later, she is credit controller at Cromwell Certificated Bailiffs. Ladies and gentlemen, please give a big hand… Applaud! Applaud like mad for Susan Cresswell." } ] }, { "id": 146, "title": "Alan is mingling at the awards", "order_in_episode": 11, "image_url": null, "lines": [ { "id": 2547, "line_number": 1, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": "to Lynn", "text": "Single-hand Sue there, tackling the buffet. Like a human JCB.", "dialogue": "Single-hand Sue there, tackling the buffet. Like a human JCB." }, { "id": 2548, "line_number": 2, "character": { "id": 11, "first_name": "Dan", "last_name": "Moody", "full_name": "Dan Moody" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "See that man over there with the big head and small face? That's Mike Yapely.", "dialogue": "See that man over there with the big head and small face? That's Mike Yapely." }, { "id": 2549, "line_number": 3, "character": { "id": 56, "first_name": "Bob", "last_name": null, "full_name": "Bob" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "What, who owns the Car Supermarket on the A47?", "dialogue": "What, who owns the Car Supermarket on the A47?" }, { "id": 2550, "line_number": 4, "character": { "id": 11, "first_name": "Dan", "last_name": "Moody", "full_name": "Dan Moody" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "The very same.", "dialogue": "The very same." }, { "id": 2551, "line_number": 5, "character": { "id": 59, "first_name": "Ceri", "last_name": null, "full_name": "Ceri" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "He is such a character. But he's got a heart of gold.", "dialogue": "He is such a character. But he's got a heart of gold." }, { "id": 2552, "line_number": 6, "character": { "id": 11, "first_name": "Dan", "last_name": "Moody", "full_name": "Dan Moody" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Yeah, teeth of gold as well!", "dialogue": "Yeah, teeth of gold as well!" }, { "id": 2553, "line_number": 7, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "I heard he hit a prostitute.", "dialogue": "I heard he hit a prostitute." }, { "id": 2554, "line_number": 8, "character": { "id": 11, "first_name": "Dan", "last_name": "Moody", "full_name": "Dan Moody" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Alan. How was your visit to the lavatory?", "dialogue": "Alan. How was your visit to the lavatory?" }, { "id": 2555, "line_number": 9, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Mission accomplished. Splash down.", "dialogue": "Mission accomplished. Splash down." }, { "id": 2556, "line_number": 10, "character": { "id": 56, "first_name": "Bob", "last_name": null, "full_name": "Bob" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Did you see Mr Brown and his friends off to the coast?", "dialogue": "Did you see Mr Brown and his friends off to the coast?" }, { "id": 2557, "line_number": 11, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Yeah. Actually, I should get a bravery award for that, I'll tell you. No, seriously, it was textbook.", "dialogue": "Yeah. Actually, I should get a bravery award for that, I'll tell you. No, seriously, it was textbook." }, { "id": 2558, "line_number": 12, "character": { "id": 11, "first_name": "Dan", "last_name": "Moody", "full_name": "Dan Moody" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Alan, this is Bob Fraser.", "dialogue": "Alan, this is Bob Fraser." }, { "id": 2559, "line_number": 13, "character": { "id": 56, "first_name": "Bob", "last_name": null, "full_name": "Bob" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "I own Sexton's Garden Centre.", "dialogue": "I own Sexton's Garden Centre." }, { "id": 2560, "line_number": 14, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Wow. Hey, I'll tell you. If a bomb went off in here tonight, the whole of society would collapse. In Norwich… for a bit.", "dialogue": "Wow. Hey, I'll tell you. If a bomb went off in here tonight, the whole of society would collapse. In Norwich… for a bit." }, { "id": 2561, "line_number": 15, "character": { "id": 56, "first_name": "Bob", "last_name": null, "full_name": "Bob" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Yeah, look, lovely to meet you Alan. I'm just going to have a chinwag with Mike Yapely.", "dialogue": "Yeah, look, lovely to meet you Alan. I'm just going to have a chinwag with Mike Yapely." }, { "id": 2562, "line_number": 16, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "OK. Don't dress as a whore, he'll thump you.", "dialogue": "OK. Don't dress as a whore, he'll thump you." }, { "id": 2563, "line_number": 17, "character": { "id": 11, "first_name": "Dan", "last_name": "Moody", "full_name": "Dan Moody" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Alan, you must meet my lady wife Ceri.", "dialogue": "Alan, you must meet my lady wife Ceri." }, { "id": 2564, "line_number": 18, "character": { "id": 59, "first_name": "Ceri", "last_name": null, "full_name": "Ceri" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "I love listening to your \"Deep Bath\", Alan.", "dialogue": "I love listening to your \"Deep Bath\", Alan." }, { "id": 2565, "line_number": 19, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Well, Dan's told me all about you.", "dialogue": "Well, Dan's told me all about you." }, { "id": 2566, "line_number": 20, "character": { "id": 59, "first_name": "Ceri", "last_name": null, "full_name": "Ceri" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Oh, what did he say?", "dialogue": "Oh, what did he say?" }, { "id": 2567, "line_number": 21, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "He just said he was married.", "dialogue": "He just said he was married." }, { "id": 2568, "line_number": 22, "character": { "id": 11, "first_name": "Dan", "last_name": "Moody", "full_name": "Dan Moody" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Well, give the man a twirl. Let the dog see the rabbit.", "dialogue": "Well, give the man a twirl. Let the dog see the rabbit." }, { "id": 2569, "line_number": 23, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Oh yeah, but which is which? Sorry. I'm the dog. You're a terrific rabbit.", "dialogue": "Oh yeah, but which is which? Sorry. I'm the dog. You're a terrific rabbit." } ] }, { "id": 147, "title": "Alan, Dan and Ceri discuss Norfolk", "order_in_episode": 12, "image_url": null, "lines": [ { "id": 2570, "line_number": 1, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Oh, a lovely olden days map of Norfolk, there.", "dialogue": "Oh, a lovely olden days map of Norfolk, there." }, { "id": 2571, "line_number": 2, "character": { "id": 11, "first_name": "Dan", "last_name": "Moody", "full_name": "Dan Moody" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Yep. They call Norfolk the rump of Britain.", "dialogue": "Yep. They call Norfolk the rump of Britain." }, { "id": 2572, "line_number": 3, "character": { "id": 59, "first_name": "Ceri", "last_name": null, "full_name": "Ceri" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "I think it looks more like a boob.", "dialogue": "I think it looks more like a boob." }, { "id": 2573, "line_number": 4, "character": { "id": 11, "first_name": "Dan", "last_name": "Moody", "full_name": "Dan Moody" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Oh! I stand corrected, said the man in the orthopaedic shoes!", "dialogue": "Oh! I stand corrected, said the man in the orthopaedic shoes!" }, { "id": 2574, "line_number": 5, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Cracking!", "dialogue": "Cracking!" }, { "id": 2575, "line_number": 6, "character": { "id": 11, "first_name": "Dan", "last_name": "Moody", "full_name": "Dan Moody" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Oh, there goes Karen Colman.", "dialogue": "Oh, there goes Karen Colman." }, { "id": 2576, "line_number": 7, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Is that Karen Colman, Colman's Mustard Colman?", "dialogue": "Is that Karen Colman, Colman's Mustard Colman?" }, { "id": 2577, "line_number": 8, "character": { "id": 59, "first_name": "Ceri", "last_name": null, "full_name": "Ceri" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Yeah.", "dialogue": "Yeah." }, { "id": 2578, "line_number": 9, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "She is the Grace Kelly with black hair of Norfolk.", "dialogue": "She is the Grace Kelly with black hair of Norfolk." }, { "id": 2579, "line_number": 10, "character": { "id": 11, "first_name": "Dan", "last_name": "Moody", "full_name": "Dan Moody" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Her house is massive.", "dialogue": "Her house is massive." }, { "id": 2580, "line_number": 11, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "I know, they use it in Hammer Horror films. It's Dracula's house. Can I just go and talk to her?", "dialogue": "I know, they use it in Hammer Horror films. It's Dracula's house. Can I just go and talk to her?" }, { "id": 2581, "line_number": 12, "character": { "id": 11, "first_name": "Dan", "last_name": "Moody", "full_name": "Dan Moody" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "It's a free country.", "dialogue": "It's a free country." } ] }, { "id": 148, "title": "Alan seizes the opportunity to speak to Karen Colman", "order_in_episode": 13, "image_url": null, "lines": [ { "id": 2582, "line_number": 1, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Oh, this.", "dialogue": "Oh, this." }, { "id": 2583, "line_number": 2, "character": { "id": 2, "first_name": "Lynn", "last_name": "Benfield", "full_name": "Lynn Benfield" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "I'm just keeping a close eye on Sonja.", "dialogue": "I'm just keeping a close eye on Sonja." }, { "id": 2584, "line_number": 3, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Just make sure she hasn't got any stink bombs strapped to her body. If she detonates those, it'll be the mother of all pongs. Then we'll see who's brave.", "dialogue": "Just make sure she hasn't got any stink bombs strapped to her body. If she detonates those, it'll be the mother of all pongs. Then we'll see who's brave." }, { "id": 2585, "line_number": 4, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Would you like to meet Karen Colman?", "dialogue": "Would you like to meet Karen Colman?" }, { "id": 2586, "line_number": 5, "character": { "id": 68, "first_name": "Patricia", "last_name": null, "full_name": "Patricia" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Well, yes. I don't really know her.", "dialogue": "Well, yes. I don't really know her." }, { "id": 2587, "line_number": 6, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Room for a brave one? Beep-beep! Come on, mate, we're on wheels here! Excuse me? Mustard. I mean, Karen. This lady would love to meet you.", "dialogue": "Room for a brave one? Beep-beep! Come on, mate, we're on wheels here! Excuse me? Mustard. I mean, Karen. This lady would love to meet you." }, { "id": 2588, "line_number": 7, "character": { "id": 68, "first_name": "Patricia", "last_name": null, "full_name": "Patricia" }, "custom_character_name": "to Karen", "text": "Hi. I'm Patricia Lessing.", "dialogue": "Hi. I'm Patricia Lessing." }, { "id": 2589, "line_number": 8, "character": { "id": 63, "first_name": "Karen", "last_name": null, "full_name": "Karen" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Oh, Karen Colman. Nice of you to come. Well, I hope you are being looked after.", "dialogue": "Oh, Karen Colman. Nice of you to come. Well, I hope you are being looked after." }, { "id": 2590, "line_number": 9, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": "to Patricia", "text": "Do you want to meet Bob? He owns a garden centre.", "dialogue": "Do you want to meet Bob? He owns a garden centre." }, { "id": 2591, "line_number": 10, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": "to Karen", "text": "Yes. She's an amazing woman.", "dialogue": "Yes. She's an amazing woman." }, { "id": 2592, "line_number": 11, "character": { "id": 63, "first_name": "Karen", "last_name": null, "full_name": "Karen" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "My grandfather was in a wheelchair.", "dialogue": "My grandfather was in a wheelchair." }, { "id": 2593, "line_number": 12, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Really? Was he born in a wheelchair? Not sure what I meant by that.", "dialogue": "Really? Was he born in a wheelchair? Not sure what I meant by that." }, { "id": 2594, "line_number": 13, "character": { "id": 68, "first_name": "Patricia", "last_name": null, "full_name": "Patricia" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Karen, I wonder if I can bend your ear for a moment?", "dialogue": "Karen, I wonder if I can bend your ear for a moment?" }, { "id": 2595, "line_number": 14, "character": { "id": 63, "first_name": "Karen", "last_name": null, "full_name": "Karen" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Yes, of course.", "dialogue": "Yes, of course." }, { "id": 2596, "line_number": 15, "character": { "id": 68, "first_name": "Patricia", "last_name": null, "full_name": "Patricia" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "I run a project in Ipswich where we help disabled people setup their own businesses…", "dialogue": "I run a project in Ipswich where we help disabled people setup their own businesses…" }, { "id": 2597, "line_number": 16, "character": { "id": 63, "first_name": "Karen", "last_name": null, "full_name": "Karen" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Oh, really? Well, we must talk. Let me get you a drink.", "dialogue": "Oh, really? Well, we must talk. Let me get you a drink." }, { "id": 2598, "line_number": 17, "character": { "id": 68, "first_name": "Patricia", "last_name": null, "full_name": "Patricia" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Oh, thank you.", "dialogue": "Oh, thank you." }, { "id": 2599, "line_number": 18, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": "to Patricia", "text": "Would you be brave enough to let me finish my conversation?", "dialogue": "Would you be brave enough to let me finish my conversation?" }, { "id": 2600, "line_number": 19, "character": { "id": 68, "first_name": "Patricia", "last_name": null, "full_name": "Patricia" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "I just wanted to talk about my project.", "dialogue": "I just wanted to talk about my project." }, { "id": 2601, "line_number": 20, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Yeah, listen love, it's just a meet and greet. Come on, you can push your way to the front of the buffet queue, it's not all doom and gloom.", "dialogue": "Yeah, listen love, it's just a meet and greet. Come on, you can push your way to the front of the buffet queue, it's not all doom and gloom." }, { "id": 2602, "line_number": 21, "character": { "id": 63, "first_name": "Karen", "last_name": null, "full_name": "Karen" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Where's she gone?", "dialogue": "Where's she gone?" }, { "id": 2603, "line_number": 22, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "She drove off. As a mustardess, if you like, what's your view on the new kids on the block? I mean things like Tabasco sauce and soy. I mean, do those keep you awake at night?", "dialogue": "She drove off. As a mustardess, if you like, what's your view on the new kids on the block? I mean things like Tabasco sauce and soy. I mean, do those keep you awake at night?" }, { "id": 2604, "line_number": 23, "character": { "id": 63, "first_name": "Karen", "last_name": null, "full_name": "Karen" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Well, as we say in our family, too much mustard gets up your nose.", "dialogue": "Well, as we say in our family, too much mustard gets up your nose." }, { "id": 2605, "line_number": 24, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Marvellous.", "dialogue": "Marvellous." }, { "id": 2606, "line_number": 25, "character": { "id": 63, "first_name": "Karen", "last_name": null, "full_name": "Karen" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "So many brave people here today.", "dialogue": "So many brave people here today." }, { "id": 2607, "line_number": 26, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "They're so ruddy bloody brave. I love brave people. Sir Donald Campbell. Evel Knievel. Braveheart… And, of course, yourself.", "dialogue": "They're so ruddy bloody brave. I love brave people. Sir Donald Campbell. Evel Knievel. Braveheart… And, of course, yourself." }, { "id": 2608, "line_number": 27, "character": { "id": 63, "first_name": "Karen", "last_name": null, "full_name": "Karen" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Oh, I'm not brave. I just do my bit at events like this and fund-raising for mental health charities.", "dialogue": "Oh, I'm not brave. I just do my bit at events like this and fund-raising for mental health charities." }, { "id": 2609, "line_number": 28, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "That's one charity I avoid, actually, Mental health. Don't want to get tarred with the mad brush.", "dialogue": "That's one charity I avoid, actually, Mental health. Don't want to get tarred with the mad brush." }, { "id": 2610, "line_number": 29, "character": { "id": 63, "first_name": "Karen", "last_name": null, "full_name": "Karen" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "I really should go and mingle now.", "dialogue": "I really should go and mingle now." }, { "id": 2611, "line_number": 30, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "I have mental health problems.", "dialogue": "I have mental health problems." }, { "id": 2612, "line_number": 31, "character": { "id": 63, "first_name": "Karen", "last_name": null, "full_name": "Karen" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Oh, I'm so sorry. I should have realised. Although, I did wonder when I first met you.", "dialogue": "Oh, I'm so sorry. I should have realised. Although, I did wonder when I first met you." }, { "id": 2613, "line_number": 32, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "I won't bore you with the details, but I drove to Dundee in my bare feet. After buying the rights to K-9, the robot dog on casters from \"Dr Who\".", "dialogue": "I won't bore you with the details, but I drove to Dundee in my bare feet. After buying the rights to K-9, the robot dog on casters from \"Dr Who\"." }, { "id": 2614, "line_number": 33, "character": { "id": 63, "first_name": "Karen", "last_name": null, "full_name": "Karen" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Well, listen. We must talk. I've done an awful lot of work in that field.", "dialogue": "Well, listen. We must talk. I've done an awful lot of work in that field." }, { "id": 2615, "line_number": 34, "character": { "id": 11, "first_name": "Dan", "last_name": "Moody", "full_name": "Dan Moody" }, "custom_character_name": "to Alan", "text": "Did you find out how much she's got? Hey, Alan. You know that thing you were saying about Norfolk being like a breast, well Ceri just said the A47 ring road is the areola!", "dialogue": "Did you find out how much she's got? Hey, Alan. You know that thing you were saying about Norfolk being like a breast, well Ceri just said the A47 ring road is the areola!" }, { "id": 2616, "line_number": 35, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Yeah, that's not really my kind of humour, actually.", "dialogue": "Yeah, that's not really my kind of humour, actually." }, { "id": 2617, "line_number": 36, "character": { "id": 11, "first_name": "Dan", "last_name": "Moody", "full_name": "Dan Moody" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Anyway, Alan Partridge, I arrest you on suspicion of sucking up to a mustard magnate.", "dialogue": "Anyway, Alan Partridge, I arrest you on suspicion of sucking up to a mustard magnate." }, { "id": 2618, "line_number": 37, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "You're not a copper.", "dialogue": "You're not a copper." }, { "id": 2619, "line_number": 38, "character": { "id": 11, "first_name": "Dan", "last_name": "Moody", "full_name": "Dan Moody" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Well, it's a citizens arrest.", "dialogue": "Well, it's a citizens arrest." }, { "id": 2620, "line_number": 39, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Well, I'll shoot you then, bang!", "dialogue": "Well, I'll shoot you then, bang!" }, { "id": 2621, "line_number": 40, "character": { "id": 11, "first_name": "Dan", "last_name": "Moody", "full_name": "Dan Moody" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "I'm wearing a bulletproof blazer.", "dialogue": "I'm wearing a bulletproof blazer." }, { "id": 2622, "line_number": 41, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Well, I'll go for a head shot.", "dialogue": "Well, I'll go for a head shot." }, { "id": 2623, "line_number": 42, "character": { "id": 11, "first_name": "Dan", "last_name": "Moody", "full_name": "Dan Moody" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "I'm the Terminator you can't kill me!", "dialogue": "I'm the Terminator you can't kill me!" }, { "id": 2624, "line_number": 43, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "I've got your kids, I've got your kids, Dan.", "dialogue": "I've got your kids, I've got your kids, Dan." } ] }, { "id": 149, "title": "Alan sees Sonja talking to Karen Colman", "order_in_episode": 14, "image_url": null, "lines": [ { "id": 2625, "line_number": 1, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Oh, cook a cat!", "dialogue": "Oh, cook a cat!" }, { "id": 2626, "line_number": 2, "character": { "id": 23, "first_name": "Sonja", "last_name": null, "full_name": "Sonja" }, "custom_character_name": "to Karen", "text": "Then, I met a guy called Jack, on the internet, then we went back to his first wife. And my boyfriend call him Jack shit!", "dialogue": "Then, I met a guy called Jack, on the internet, then we went back to his first wife. And my boyfriend call him Jack shit!" }, { "id": 2627, "line_number": 3, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": "to Karen", "text": "Is this lady annoying you?", "dialogue": "Is this lady annoying you?" }, { "id": 2628, "line_number": 4, "character": { "id": 63, "first_name": "Karen", "last_name": null, "full_name": "Karen" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "No, not at all. She's been telling me the problems in getting into this country. I think people like Sonja should be helped to settle here, permanently.", "dialogue": "No, not at all. She's been telling me the problems in getting into this country. I think people like Sonja should be helped to settle here, permanently." }, { "id": 2629, "line_number": 5, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "I think you have to judge each case on its merits.", "dialogue": "I think you have to judge each case on its merits." }, { "id": 2630, "line_number": 6, "character": { "id": 63, "first_name": "Karen", "last_name": null, "full_name": "Karen" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Listen. Things are beginning to wind down here. I've got some friends coming for a drink at the house.", "dialogue": "Listen. Things are beginning to wind down here. I've got some friends coming for a drink at the house." }, { "id": 2631, "line_number": 7, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Splendid and tremendous.", "dialogue": "Splendid and tremendous." }, { "id": 2632, "line_number": 8, "character": { "id": 63, "first_name": "Karen", "last_name": null, "full_name": "Karen" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "It's a girls only night tonight.", "dialogue": "It's a girls only night tonight." }, { "id": 2633, "line_number": 9, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Ah, loads of women talking blabbering crap?", "dialogue": "Ah, loads of women talking blabbering crap?" }, { "id": 2634, "line_number": 10, "character": { "id": 23, "first_name": "Sonja", "last_name": null, "full_name": "Sonja" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Look, I'm brave. My eye's falling out!", "dialogue": "Look, I'm brave. My eye's falling out!" }, { "id": 2635, "line_number": 11, "character": null, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "_[Sonja is wearing joke glasses]_", "dialogue": "[Sonja is wearing joke glasses]" }, { "id": 2636, "line_number": 12, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "That's the tip of the iceberg. Oh, you think it's funny.", "dialogue": "That's the tip of the iceberg. Oh, you think it's funny." } ] }, { "id": 150, "title": "Alan is at a loose end after the awards, heads to the arcade then Michael's house", "order_in_episode": 15, "image_url": null, "lines": [ { "id": 2637, "line_number": 1, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Shitty zombies!", "dialogue": "Shitty zombies!" }, { "id": 2638, "line_number": 2, "character": { "id": 3, "first_name": "Michael", "last_name": "the Geordie", "full_name": "Michael the Geordie" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Oh, Mr Partridge.", "dialogue": "Oh, Mr Partridge." }, { "id": 2639, "line_number": 3, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Hello, Michael.", "dialogue": "Hello, Michael." }, { "id": 2640, "line_number": 4, "character": { "id": 3, "first_name": "Michael", "last_name": "the Geordie", "full_name": "Michael the Geordie" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "I cannot sell you any petrol.", "dialogue": "I cannot sell you any petrol." }, { "id": 2641, "line_number": 5, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "No, no. I was just passing, I just thought I'd…", "dialogue": "No, no. I was just passing, I just thought I'd…" }, { "id": 2642, "line_number": 6, "character": { "id": 3, "first_name": "Michael", "last_name": "the Geordie", "full_name": "Michael the Geordie" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Oh, right.", "dialogue": "Oh, right." }, { "id": 2643, "line_number": 7, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "…say hello.", "dialogue": "…say hello." }, { "id": 2644, "line_number": 8, "character": { "id": 3, "first_name": "Michael", "last_name": "the Geordie", "full_name": "Michael the Geordie" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Would you like some soup?", "dialogue": "Would you like some soup?" }, { "id": 2645, "line_number": 9, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "I'm not a tramp, Michael.", "dialogue": "I'm not a tramp, Michael." }, { "id": 2646, "line_number": 10, "character": { "id": 3, "first_name": "Michael", "last_name": "the Geordie", "full_name": "Michael the Geordie" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "No, no, no, I'm just offering you something to eat, like.", "dialogue": "No, no, no, I'm just offering you something to eat, like." }, { "id": 2647, "line_number": 11, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Well, what have you got?", "dialogue": "Well, what have you got?" }, { "id": 2648, "line_number": 12, "character": { "id": 3, "first_name": "Michael", "last_name": "the Geordie", "full_name": "Michael the Geordie" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "I can do you a cup of beans.", "dialogue": "I can do you a cup of beans." }, { "id": 2649, "line_number": 13, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "A cup of beans?", "dialogue": "A cup of beans?" }, { "id": 2650, "line_number": 14, "character": { "id": 3, "first_name": "Michael", "last_name": "the Geordie", "full_name": "Michael the Geordie" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Have you never had a cup of beans, man? Oh, aye. You're in for a treat here.", "dialogue": "Have you never had a cup of beans, man? Oh, aye. You're in for a treat here." }, { "id": 2651, "line_number": 15, "character": null, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "_[Alan attempts to walk into Michael's house]_", "dialogue": "[Alan attempts to walk into Michael's house]" }, { "id": 2652, "line_number": 16, "character": { "id": 3, "first_name": "Michael", "last_name": "the Geordie", "full_name": "Michael the Geordie" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Stay there.", "dialogue": "Stay there." }, { "id": 2653, "line_number": 17, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Yeah, right.", "dialogue": "Yeah, right." }, { "id": 2654, "line_number": 18, "character": { "id": 3, "first_name": "Michael", "last_name": "the Geordie", "full_name": "Michael the Geordie" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "There you go. As ordered. One cup of beans. And I've put a sausage in, and all. So, it's a Michael special.", "dialogue": "There you go. As ordered. One cup of beans. And I've put a sausage in, and all. So, it's a Michael special." }, { "id": 2655, "line_number": 19, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Lovely. It's sort of like a savoury 99.", "dialogue": "Lovely. It's sort of like a savoury 99." }, { "id": 2656, "line_number": 20, "character": { "id": 3, "first_name": "Michael", "last_name": "the Geordie", "full_name": "Michael the Geordie" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Aye. Aye! You use the sausage to scoop the beans oot.", "dialogue": "Aye. Aye! You use the sausage to scoop the beans oot." }, { "id": 2657, "line_number": 21, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Have you got a spoon?", "dialogue": "Have you got a spoon?" }, { "id": 2658, "line_number": 22, "character": { "id": 3, "first_name": "Michael", "last_name": "the Geordie", "full_name": "Michael the Geordie" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "No.", "dialogue": "No." }, { "id": 2659, "line_number": 23, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "You haven't got a spoon?", "dialogue": "You haven't got a spoon?" }, { "id": 2660, "line_number": 24, "character": { "id": 3, "first_name": "Michael", "last_name": "the Geordie", "full_name": "Michael the Geordie" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "There's one in the bathroom, but I've no cause to use it.", "dialogue": "There's one in the bathroom, but I've no cause to use it." }, { "id": 2661, "line_number": 25, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Are you alright, Michael? You seem a bit at a loose end.", "dialogue": "Are you alright, Michael? You seem a bit at a loose end." }, { "id": 2662, "line_number": 26, "character": { "id": 3, "first_name": "Michael", "last_name": "the Geordie", "full_name": "Michael the Geordie" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "I'm watching a documentary aboot Triads, like.", "dialogue": "I'm watching a documentary aboot Triads, like." }, { "id": 2663, "line_number": 27, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "I always wondered, how they get those swords through customs.", "dialogue": "I always wondered, how they get those swords through customs." }, { "id": 2664, "line_number": 28, "character": { "id": 3, "first_name": "Michael", "last_name": "the Geordie", "full_name": "Michael the Geordie" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Aye. Probably just put them inside a cardboard tube, like. What you'd put a poster in, eh?", "dialogue": "Aye. Probably just put them inside a cardboard tube, like. What you'd put a poster in, eh?" }, { "id": 2665, "line_number": 29, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "That's a good idea.", "dialogue": "That's a good idea." }, { "id": 2666, "line_number": 30, "character": { "id": 3, "first_name": "Michael", "last_name": "the Geordie", "full_name": "Michael the Geordie" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Bye.", "dialogue": "Bye." }, { "id": 2667, "line_number": 31, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Bye. What do you want me to do with this…", "dialogue": "Bye. What do you want me to do with this…" }, { "id": 2668, "line_number": 32, "character": { "id": 3, "first_name": "Michael", "last_name": "the Geordie", "full_name": "Michael the Geordie" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Put it on the step.", "dialogue": "Put it on the step." }, { "id": 2669, "line_number": 33, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Yeah, right.", "dialogue": "Yeah, right." } ] }, { "id": 151, "title": "Alan turns up at Dan's house", "order_in_episode": 16, "image_url": null, "lines": [ { "id": 2670, "line_number": 1, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Hello, Lynn. I'm at Dan's big house. Can you come with the kitchen brochures? So that's, Smeg, Neff, Poggenpohl and Bosch!", "dialogue": "Hello, Lynn. I'm at Dan's big house. Can you come with the kitchen brochures? So that's, Smeg, Neff, Poggenpohl and Bosch!" }, { "id": 2671, "line_number": 2, "character": { "id": 11, "first_name": "Dan", "last_name": "Moody", "full_name": "Dan Moody" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Come on in, come on in.", "dialogue": "Come on in, come on in." }, { "id": 2672, "line_number": 3, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Dan, can we still talk about kitchens?", "dialogue": "Dan, can we still talk about kitchens?" }, { "id": 2673, "line_number": 4, "character": { "id": 11, "first_name": "Dan", "last_name": "Moody", "full_name": "Dan Moody" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "I speak no other language. Get you a drink?", "dialogue": "I speak no other language. Get you a drink?" }, { "id": 2674, "line_number": 5, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Yeah, nice big fat shot of Directors bitter.", "dialogue": "Yeah, nice big fat shot of Directors bitter." }, { "id": 2675, "line_number": 6, "character": { "id": 59, "first_name": "Ceri", "last_name": null, "full_name": "Ceri" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Oh, hello, Alan.", "dialogue": "Oh, hello, Alan." }, { "id": 2676, "line_number": 7, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Oh, hello.", "dialogue": "Oh, hello." }, { "id": 2677, "line_number": 8, "character": { "id": 59, "first_name": "Ceri", "last_name": null, "full_name": "Ceri" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Budge up.", "dialogue": "Budge up." }, { "id": 2678, "line_number": 9, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Sorry I'm a bit late.", "dialogue": "Sorry I'm a bit late." }, { "id": 2679, "line_number": 10, "character": { "id": 59, "first_name": "Ceri", "last_name": null, "full_name": "Ceri" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "What have you been up to?", "dialogue": "What have you been up to?" }, { "id": 2680, "line_number": 11, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Tried to outdance a computer. Impossible. And then I fought some zombies with a boy in care. Wiped the floor with him. Your hand is about 30 mil from my gland. And if I was dressed on the other side, it would be in contact. Your little finger just touched it.", "dialogue": "Tried to outdance a computer. Impossible. And then I fought some zombies with a boy in care. Wiped the floor with him. Your hand is about 30 mil from my gland. And if I was dressed on the other side, it would be in contact. Your little finger just touched it." }, { "id": 2681, "line_number": 12, "character": null, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "_[Alan takes Ceri's hand and places it on her lap]_", "dialogue": "[Alan takes Ceri's hand and places it on her lap]" }, { "id": 2682, "line_number": 13, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "I'll just pop that there.", "dialogue": "I'll just pop that there." }, { "id": 2683, "line_number": 14, "character": { "id": 11, "first_name": "Dan", "last_name": "Moody", "full_name": "Dan Moody" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "The kitchen?", "dialogue": "The kitchen?" }, { "id": 2684, "line_number": 15, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Oh, good.", "dialogue": "Oh, good." }, { "id": 2685, "line_number": 16, "character": { "id": 11, "first_name": "Dan", "last_name": "Moody", "full_name": "Dan Moody" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "This is the one for you.", "dialogue": "This is the one for you." }, { "id": 2686, "line_number": 17, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Right.", "dialogue": "Right." }, { "id": 2687, "line_number": 18, "character": { "id": 11, "first_name": "Dan", "last_name": "Moody", "full_name": "Dan Moody" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Budge up.", "dialogue": "Budge up." }, { "id": 2688, "line_number": 19, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "What, that way?", "dialogue": "What, that way?" }, { "id": 2689, "line_number": 20, "character": { "id": 11, "first_name": "Dan", "last_name": "Moody", "full_name": "Dan Moody" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Yep.", "dialogue": "Yep." }, { "id": 2690, "line_number": 21, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "That's a good stainless steel hob. Very futuristic.", "dialogue": "That's a good stainless steel hob. Very futuristic." }, { "id": 2691, "line_number": 22, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": "to Ceri", "text": "That's you. You're naked.", "dialogue": "That's you. You're naked." }, { "id": 2692, "line_number": 23, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": "to Dan", "text": "There's you. Hello, Dan. Is that a granite work surface that's supporting you both? Not Corian, a man-made marble substitute?", "dialogue": "There's you. Hello, Dan. Is that a granite work surface that's supporting you both? Not Corian, a man-made marble substitute?" }, { "id": 2693, "line_number": 24, "character": { "id": 11, "first_name": "Dan", "last_name": "Moody", "full_name": "Dan Moody" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Well, Corian is to marble and granite what MDF is to wood. I've got wood there.", "dialogue": "Well, Corian is to marble and granite what MDF is to wood. I've got wood there." }, { "id": 2694, "line_number": 25, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "No, that's MDF. Oh, I see. You're making a joke. MDF's banned in America.", "dialogue": "No, that's MDF. Oh, I see. You're making a joke. MDF's banned in America." }, { "id": 2695, "line_number": 26, "character": { "id": 59, "first_name": "Ceri", "last_name": null, "full_name": "Ceri" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "So's that.", "dialogue": "So's that." }, { "id": 2696, "line_number": 27, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Oh, all done. Think I'll go.", "dialogue": "Oh, all done. Think I'll go." }, { "id": 2697, "line_number": 28, "character": { "id": 11, "first_name": "Dan", "last_name": "Moody", "full_name": "Dan Moody" }, "custom_character_name": "and Ceri", "text": "Alan!", "dialogue": "Alan!" }, { "id": 2698, "line_number": 29, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "I've just remembered my dad is, still dead. My dad's dead.", "dialogue": "I've just remembered my dad is, still dead. My dad's dead." }, { "id": 2699, "line_number": 30, "character": { "id": 2, "first_name": "Lynn", "last_name": "Benfield", "full_name": "Lynn Benfield" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Alan?", "dialogue": "Alan?" }, { "id": 2700, "line_number": 31, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "That was quick.", "dialogue": "That was quick." }, { "id": 2701, "line_number": 32, "character": { "id": 2, "first_name": "Lynn", "last_name": "Benfield", "full_name": "Lynn Benfield" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "You rang earlier to bring over the kitchen brochures.", "dialogue": "You rang earlier to bring over the kitchen brochures." }, { "id": 2702, "line_number": 33, "character": { "id": 11, "first_name": "Dan", "last_name": "Moody", "full_name": "Dan Moody" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Can I get you a drink, Lynn?", "dialogue": "Can I get you a drink, Lynn?" }, { "id": 2703, "line_number": 34, "character": { "id": 2, "first_name": "Lynn", "last_name": "Benfield", "full_name": "Lynn Benfield" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Oh, a Baileys, please.", "dialogue": "Oh, a Baileys, please." }, { "id": 2704, "line_number": 35, "character": { "id": 11, "first_name": "Dan", "last_name": "Moody", "full_name": "Dan Moody" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Take a seat.", "dialogue": "Take a seat." }, { "id": 2705, "line_number": 36, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Sit there, sit there, sit there.", "dialogue": "Sit there, sit there, sit there." }, { "id": 2706, "line_number": 37, "character": { "id": 2, "first_name": "Lynn", "last_name": "Benfield", "full_name": "Lynn Benfield" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Oh, this is a comfy sofa.", "dialogue": "Oh, this is a comfy sofa." }, { "id": 2707, "line_number": 38, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Oh, Jesus.", "dialogue": "Oh, Jesus." }, { "id": 2708, "line_number": 39, "character": { "id": 11, "first_name": "Dan", "last_name": "Moody", "full_name": "Dan Moody" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "I'll get the drinks.", "dialogue": "I'll get the drinks." }, { "id": 2709, "line_number": 40, "character": null, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "_[Dan strokes Alan's face]_", "dialogue": "[Dan strokes Alan's face]" }, { "id": 2710, "line_number": 41, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Aah!", "dialogue": "Aah!" }, { "id": 2711, "line_number": 42, "character": { "id": 59, "first_name": "Ceri", "last_name": null, "full_name": "Ceri" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "I'll see where your drink is.", "dialogue": "I'll see where your drink is." }, { "id": 2712, "line_number": 43, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Lynn, these are sex people.", "dialogue": "Lynn, these are sex people." }, { "id": 2713, "line_number": 44, "character": { "id": 2, "first_name": "Lynn", "last_name": "Benfield", "full_name": "Lynn Benfield" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "What do you mean?", "dialogue": "What do you mean?" }, { "id": 2714, "line_number": 45, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "They're sex swappers! Lynn, this is Defcon One. Look.", "dialogue": "They're sex swappers! Lynn, this is Defcon One. Look." }, { "id": 2715, "line_number": 46, "character": null, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "_[Alan plays video of Dan and Ceri]_", "dialogue": "[Alan plays video of Dan and Ceri]" }, { "id": 2716, "line_number": 47, "character": { "id": 2, "first_name": "Lynn", "last_name": "Benfield", "full_name": "Lynn Benfield" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Urgh!", "dialogue": "Urgh!" }, { "id": 2717, "line_number": 48, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Don't make the same noise as them! They'll think you'll want to join in. I'll pause it. Oh, I've hit fast forward. Looks like a sort of hard-core Benny Hill. That's the kitchen work surface I was telling you about.", "dialogue": "Don't make the same noise as them! They'll think you'll want to join in. I'll pause it. Oh, I've hit fast forward. Looks like a sort of hard-core Benny Hill. That's the kitchen work surface I was telling you about." }, { "id": 2718, "line_number": 49, "character": { "id": 11, "first_name": "Dan", "last_name": "Moody", "full_name": "Dan Moody" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Lynn, Lynn, your Baileys.", "dialogue": "Lynn, Lynn, your Baileys." }, { "id": 2719, "line_number": 50, "character": { "id": 2, "first_name": "Lynn", "last_name": "Benfield", "full_name": "Lynn Benfield" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "No, thanks. I don't want to be part of your sex festival.", "dialogue": "No, thanks. I don't want to be part of your sex festival." }, { "id": 2720, "line_number": 51, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Sex festival? Can I be very rude? Not like that.", "dialogue": "Sex festival? Can I be very rude? Not like that." }, { "id": 2721, "line_number": 52, "character": null, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "_[Alan points to the TV]_", "dialogue": "[Alan points to the TV]" }, { "id": 2722, "line_number": 53, "character": { "id": 11, "first_name": "Dan", "last_name": "Moody", "full_name": "Dan Moody" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Try me.", "dialogue": "Try me." }, { "id": 2723, "line_number": 54, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "No, no. Come on, pack it in, mate. I don't want to have sex with your wife. Even though, from the promotional video, I can see that I would have a ruddy good time.", "dialogue": "No, no. Come on, pack it in, mate. I don't want to have sex with your wife. Even though, from the promotional video, I can see that I would have a ruddy good time." }, { "id": 2724, "line_number": 55, "character": { "id": 59, "first_name": "Ceri", "last_name": null, "full_name": "Ceri" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Want a little hug?", "dialogue": "Want a little hug?" }, { "id": 2725, "line_number": 56, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "A quick one. Don't rub your fanny on me!", "dialogue": "A quick one. Don't rub your fanny on me!" }, { "id": 2726, "line_number": 57, "character": { "id": 59, "first_name": "Ceri", "last_name": null, "full_name": "Ceri" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Look forward to listening to your \"Deep Bath\" later, Alan.", "dialogue": "Look forward to listening to your \"Deep Bath\" later, Alan." } ] }, { "id": 152, "title": "Alan is back in the studio, clearly unhappy about what happened at Dan's house", "order_in_episode": 17, "image_url": null, "lines": [ { "id": 2727, "line_number": 1, "character": { "id": 35, "first_name": "Announcer", "last_name": null, "full_name": "Announcer" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "From Felixstowe to Spalding. All the issues.", "dialogue": "From Felixstowe to Spalding. All the issues." }, { "id": 2728, "line_number": 2, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "It's 11:30. Time for my \"Deep Bath\"", "dialogue": "It's 11:30. Time for my \"Deep Bath\"" }, { "id": 2729, "line_number": 3, "character": { "id": 35, "first_name": "Announcer", "last_name": null, "full_name": "Announcer" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "\"Alan's Deep Bath\"", "dialogue": "\"Alan's Deep Bath\"" }, { "id": 2730, "line_number": 4, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "That's the last one, we're stopping this after tonight. So, there's the bath, hop in, wash yourself. There's a loofah. Do be clean. There's a big coarse towel on the radiator. Don't forget to rinse the bath, once you've drained the water. Use the shower nozzle to blast off the scum. Here's Brian and Michael.", "dialogue": "That's the last one, we're stopping this after tonight. So, there's the bath, hop in, wash yourself. There's a loofah. Do be clean. There's a big coarse towel on the radiator. Don't forget to rinse the bath, once you've drained the water. Use the shower nozzle to blast off the scum. Here's Brian and Michael." }, { "id": 2731, "line_number": 5, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "King of Anglia!", "dialogue": "King of Anglia!" } ] } ], "links": { "self": "https://alanpartridgescripts.co.uk/api/v1/episodes/im-alan-partridge/series-2/episode-3-brave-alan.json", "web": "https://alanpartridgescripts.co.uk/im-alan-partridge/series-2/episode-3-brave-alan" } } }