{ "data": { "id": 10, "title": "Never Say Alan Again", "slug": "episode-4-never-say-alan-again", "episode_number": 4, "episode_code": "S02E04", "overview": "It's the bank holiday weekend, and Alan is planning to watch all the James Bond movies back to back while fitting in a visit to Lynn's mother's grave. Meanwhile, Geordie Michael is getting over-friendly with another customer at the garage.", "description": "Michael has a new friend, Tex, who likes all things American. Alan is jealous and cancels Michael's invitation to join Alan in watching all the James Bond films. Lynn's new boyfriend, Gordon, warns Alan about his behaviour towards Lynn.", "first_aired": "2002-12-02T00:00:00.000Z", "intro_image_url": null, "series": { "id": 2, "title": "I'm Alan Partridge: Series 2", "slug": "series-2", "series_number": 2, "series_code": "S02", "programme": { "id": 1, "title": "I'm Alan Partridge", "slug": "im-alan-partridge", "links": { "self": "https://alanpartridgescripts.co.uk/api/v1/programmes/im-alan-partridge.json" } }, "links": { "self": "https://alanpartridgescripts.co.uk/api/v1/series/im-alan-partridge/series-2.json", "web": "https://alanpartridgescripts.co.uk/im-alan-partridge/series-2" } }, "scenes": [ { "id": 153, "title": "Alan is in the studio, looking comatose listening to a song", "order_in_episode": 1, "image_url": null, "lines": [ { "id": 2732, "line_number": 1, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "That was Norwich-based singer-songwriter Christian Le Vaux, with a self-penned song entitled \"I Loved You, But You Left Me\". Apparently he can't get a record deal. There's no justice, Christian… Le Vaux. Oh, it's the bank holiday weekend. A terrible time for the lonely. Which, I think, Christian testifies to on his second track \"Lonely… 'Cause You Left Me\". Tonight, we're think-abouting which celebrity you would like to spend a bank holiday with, and what would you do. Sue from Paston says she'd like to sit down with some hotpot and red cabbage, and watch \"Chitty Chitty Bang Bang\" with Sting. And er, T. Gladden emails to say he'd like to clear out the attic, with the lovely Kate Winslet. OK, on the line, we have, if I'm not mistaken, Roy from Caister St Edmund. Roy, Hello.", "dialogue": "That was Norwich-based singer-songwriter Christian Le Vaux, with a self-penned song entitled \"I Loved You, But You Left Me\". Apparently he can't get a record deal. There's no justice, Christian… Le Vaux. Oh, it's the bank holiday weekend. A terrible time for the lonely. Which, I think, Christian testifies to on his second track \"Lonely… 'Cause You Left Me\". Tonight, we're think-abouting which celebrity you would like to spend a bank holiday with, and what would you do. Sue from Paston says she'd like to sit down with some hotpot and red cabbage, and watch \"Chitty Chitty Bang Bang\" with Sting. And er, T. Gladden emails to say he'd like to clear out the attic, with the lovely Kate Winslet. OK, on the line, we have, if I'm not mistaken, Roy from Caister St Edmund. Roy, Hello." }, { "id": 2733, "line_number": 2, "character": { "id": 71, "first_name": "Roy", "last_name": null, "full_name": "Roy" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Hello?", "dialogue": "Hello?" }, { "id": 2734, "line_number": 3, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "It's bank holiday, what ya doin'? Who's with ya?", "dialogue": "It's bank holiday, what ya doin'? Who's with ya?" }, { "id": 2735, "line_number": 4, "character": { "id": 71, "first_name": "Roy", "last_name": null, "full_name": "Roy" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "I'd like to go round Legoland with Sean Connery, and then afterwards we'd go for a lovely lamb lunch, in the centre of Windsor.", "dialogue": "I'd like to go round Legoland with Sean Connery, and then afterwards we'd go for a lovely lamb lunch, in the centre of Windsor." }, { "id": 2736, "line_number": 5, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Gotta say, Roy. I don't think that's Connery's cup of tea. I think Sean would rather, do something like, wander round the wildfowl park in Pepperstock, with a bottle of Scotch!", "dialogue": "Gotta say, Roy. I don't think that's Connery's cup of tea. I think Sean would rather, do something like, wander round the wildfowl park in Pepperstock, with a bottle of Scotch!" }, { "id": 2737, "line_number": 6, "character": { "id": 71, "first_name": "Roy", "last_name": null, "full_name": "Roy" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "I don't agree. He'd go to Legoland. Bye.", "dialogue": "I don't agree. He'd go to Legoland. Bye." }, { "id": 2738, "line_number": 7, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Sorry. Music. Hide the steak, it's Chrissie Hynde.", "dialogue": "Sorry. Music. Hide the steak, it's Chrissie Hynde." } ] }, { "id": 154, "title": "Alan chats with Dave Clifton about bank holiday plans", "order_in_episode": 2, "image_url": null, "lines": [ { "id": 2739, "line_number": 1, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "That was moving rabbit classic \"Bright Eyes\". Another cheeky chappie who's staring into the abyss of having to spend three days with himself, the insomniac's boyfriend, David Clifton.", "dialogue": "That was moving rabbit classic \"Bright Eyes\". Another cheeky chappie who's staring into the abyss of having to spend three days with himself, the insomniac's boyfriend, David Clifton." }, { "id": 2740, "line_number": 2, "character": { "id": 4, "first_name": "Dave", "last_name": "Clifton", "full_name": "Dave Clifton" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Yeah, good evening to you, Alan. Actually, do you know what, I'm not so sure about that, Alan. Because I'm going to be seeing a friend at the weekend.", "dialogue": "Yeah, good evening to you, Alan. Actually, do you know what, I'm not so sure about that, Alan. Because I'm going to be seeing a friend at the weekend." }, { "id": 2741, "line_number": 3, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Uh-oh! Johnnie Walker or Jack Daniels?", "dialogue": "Uh-oh! Johnnie Walker or Jack Daniels?" }, { "id": 2742, "line_number": 4, "character": { "id": 4, "first_name": "Dave", "last_name": "Clifton", "full_name": "Dave Clifton" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "No.", "dialogue": "No." }, { "id": 2743, "line_number": 5, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Glenmorangie?", "dialogue": "Glenmorangie?" }, { "id": 2744, "line_number": 6, "character": { "id": 4, "first_name": "Dave", "last_name": "Clifton", "full_name": "Dave Clifton" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "No. I'm going to be seeing Tony Hadley from Spandau Ballet.", "dialogue": "No. I'm going to be seeing Tony Hadley from Spandau Ballet." }, { "id": 2745, "line_number": 7, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Rubbish!", "dialogue": "Rubbish!" }, { "id": 2746, "line_number": 8, "character": { "id": 4, "first_name": "Dave", "last_name": "Clifton", "full_name": "Dave Clifton" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Oh, yeah. I'm actually doing an archery weekend with him.", "dialogue": "Oh, yeah. I'm actually doing an archery weekend with him." }, { "id": 2747, "line_number": 9, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Really?", "dialogue": "Really?" }, { "id": 2748, "line_number": 10, "character": { "id": 4, "first_name": "Dave", "last_name": "Clifton", "full_name": "Dave Clifton" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Yeah, yeah. We both do archery. I'm a grade three, at the moment. I'm hoping, fingers crossed, to get my grade four there, this weekend.", "dialogue": "Yeah, yeah. We both do archery. I'm a grade three, at the moment. I'm hoping, fingers crossed, to get my grade four there, this weekend." }, { "id": 2749, "line_number": 11, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "How do you… how do you…Who?… Can I…", "dialogue": "How do you… how do you…Who?… Can I…" }, { "id": 2750, "line_number": 12, "character": { "id": 4, "first_name": "Dave", "last_name": "Clifton", "full_name": "Dave Clifton" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "So er, what are you doing this weekend then, Alan?", "dialogue": "So er, what are you doing this weekend then, Alan?" }, { "id": 2751, "line_number": 13, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "I'm watching all the Bond films, back to back, with my friend Michael.", "dialogue": "I'm watching all the Bond films, back to back, with my friend Michael." }, { "id": 2752, "line_number": 14, "character": { "id": 4, "first_name": "Dave", "last_name": "Clifton", "full_name": "Dave Clifton" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Oh, what, the guy who works at the BP garage?", "dialogue": "Oh, what, the guy who works at the BP garage?" }, { "id": 2753, "line_number": 15, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "I know where he works.", "dialogue": "I know where he works." }, { "id": 2754, "line_number": 16, "character": { "id": 4, "first_name": "Dave", "last_name": "Clifton", "full_name": "Dave Clifton" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "OK, there goes Alan Partridge, licensed to kill… time, in his caravan by watching videos.", "dialogue": "OK, there goes Alan Partridge, licensed to kill… time, in his caravan by watching videos." }, { "id": 2755, "line_number": 17, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Good one, good one. Arrows are deceitful. When a cowboy fires a gun, there's a bang, it's a warning. Gives you a chance to duck. When a cowboy has an arrow fired at him, he hears nothing. If he's lucky, it sticks in his hat, and he just looks daft. But more often than not, it sticks in his back, and he dies slumping forward on the horse that rides off with him, just on top of him, going like that.", "dialogue": "Good one, good one. Arrows are deceitful. When a cowboy fires a gun, there's a bang, it's a warning. Gives you a chance to duck. When a cowboy has an arrow fired at him, he hears nothing. If he's lucky, it sticks in his hat, and he just looks daft. But more often than not, it sticks in his back, and he dies slumping forward on the horse that rides off with him, just on top of him, going like that." }, { "id": 2756, "line_number": 18, "character": { "id": 4, "first_name": "Dave", "last_name": "Clifton", "full_name": "Dave Clifton" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Yeah, OK. Bye, Alan. See you later.", "dialogue": "Yeah, OK. Bye, Alan. See you later." }, { "id": 2757, "line_number": 19, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "And, also, archers. I hate archers, \"The Archers\" and Jeffrey Archer. You're all deceitful cowards. I just realized then, that only applies to archers and Jeffrey Archer. But not \"The Archers\", who… to be fair, are a mixed bag. Goodbye.", "dialogue": "And, also, archers. I hate archers, \"The Archers\" and Jeffrey Archer. You're all deceitful cowards. I just realized then, that only applies to archers and Jeffrey Archer. But not \"The Archers\", who… to be fair, are a mixed bag. Goodbye." }, { "id": 2758, "line_number": 20, "character": { "id": 4, "first_name": "Dave", "last_name": "Clifton", "full_name": "Dave Clifton" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "OK. And what are we doing to the planet? Well, it's \"Purple Rain\".", "dialogue": "OK. And what are we doing to the planet? Well, it's \"Purple Rain\"." } ] }, { "id": 155, "title": "Alan is at BP garage to chat to Michael, when he realizes Michael talks to other men", "order_in_episode": 3, "image_url": null, "lines": [ { "id": 2759, "line_number": 1, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Bang! I'm James Bond.", "dialogue": "Bang! I'm James Bond." }, { "id": 2760, "line_number": 2, "character": { "id": 3, "first_name": "Michael", "last_name": "the Geordie", "full_name": "Michael the Geordie" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Got us right in the neck.", "dialogue": "Got us right in the neck." }, { "id": 2761, "line_number": 3, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "You can survive that, if it doesn't sever the spinal column.", "dialogue": "You can survive that, if it doesn't sever the spinal column." }, { "id": 2762, "line_number": 4, "character": { "id": 3, "first_name": "Michael", "last_name": "the Geordie", "full_name": "Michael the Geordie" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Aye. Mind you, I wouldn't be able to talk. I'd just gan \"uh uh uh uh\", like that. Hey, I love the gadgets. It's like: Pay attention, Bond. Simply remove the top off this pen, jab it into somebody's eye, and smash it in with your hand like that.", "dialogue": "Aye. Mind you, I wouldn't be able to talk. I'd just gan \"uh uh uh uh\", like that. Hey, I love the gadgets. It's like: Pay attention, Bond. Simply remove the top off this pen, jab it into somebody's eye, and smash it in with your hand like that." }, { "id": 2763, "line_number": 5, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "That's not a gadget, Michael. That's just monstrous use of a biro.", "dialogue": "That's not a gadget, Michael. That's just monstrous use of a biro." } ] }, { "id": 156, "title": "Tex arrives at the BP garage and chats with Michael", "order_in_episode": 4, "image_url": null, "lines": [ { "id": 2764, "line_number": 1, "character": { "id": 24, "first_name": "Tex", "last_name": null, "full_name": "Tex" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Check it out there's an advert for it.", "dialogue": "Check it out there's an advert for it." }, { "id": 2765, "line_number": 2, "character": { "id": 3, "first_name": "Michael", "last_name": "the Geordie", "full_name": "Michael the Geordie" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Hey, Truckfest! Hey look, it's coming to Ipswich. Whoa! David Soul's gonna be there.", "dialogue": "Hey, Truckfest! Hey look, it's coming to Ipswich. Whoa! David Soul's gonna be there." }, { "id": 2766, "line_number": 3, "character": { "id": 24, "first_name": "Tex", "last_name": null, "full_name": "Tex" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Yeah.", "dialogue": "Yeah." }, { "id": 2767, "line_number": 4, "character": { "id": 3, "first_name": "Michael", "last_name": "the Geordie", "full_name": "Michael the Geordie" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Hey imagine that, eh Mike. Driving across the States on one of them roads, Route 66. Sleeping in motels.", "dialogue": "Hey imagine that, eh Mike. Driving across the States on one of them roads, Route 66. Sleeping in motels." }, { "id": 2768, "line_number": 5, "character": { "id": 24, "first_name": "Tex", "last_name": null, "full_name": "Tex" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Yeah, just gan into a shop and buy a gun.", "dialogue": "Yeah, just gan into a shop and buy a gun." }, { "id": 2769, "line_number": 6, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "They're actually left-hand drive, those lorries. So if you are doing that, you'd just be grabbing photographs of your family. Or perhaps, rosary beads, if you were driving up from Mexico.", "dialogue": "They're actually left-hand drive, those lorries. So if you are doing that, you'd just be grabbing photographs of your family. Or perhaps, rosary beads, if you were driving up from Mexico." }, { "id": 2770, "line_number": 7, "character": { "id": 24, "first_name": "Tex", "last_name": null, "full_name": "Tex" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Er, Mike. Do you want to serve this guy?", "dialogue": "Er, Mike. Do you want to serve this guy?" }, { "id": 2771, "line_number": 8, "character": { "id": 3, "first_name": "Michael", "last_name": "the Geordie", "full_name": "Michael the Geordie" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Oh, no. It's all right. He's a friend and all.", "dialogue": "Oh, no. It's all right. He's a friend and all." }, { "id": 2772, "line_number": 9, "character": { "id": 24, "first_name": "Tex", "last_name": null, "full_name": "Tex" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Oh, all right. The name's Tex.", "dialogue": "Oh, all right. The name's Tex." }, { "id": 2773, "line_number": 10, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Text?", "dialogue": "Text?" }, { "id": 2774, "line_number": 11, "character": { "id": 24, "first_name": "Tex", "last_name": null, "full_name": "Tex" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "No. Tex. Like er, short for Terry, you know, like Texas and that.", "dialogue": "No. Tex. Like er, short for Terry, you know, like Texas and that." }, { "id": 2775, "line_number": 12, "character": { "id": 3, "first_name": "Michael", "last_name": "the Geordie", "full_name": "Michael the Geordie" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "He likes American stuff.", "dialogue": "He likes American stuff." }, { "id": 2776, "line_number": 13, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Oh.", "dialogue": "Oh." }, { "id": 2777, "line_number": 14, "character": { "id": 3, "first_name": "Michael", "last_name": "the Geordie", "full_name": "Michael the Geordie" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Alan likes James Bond.", "dialogue": "Alan likes James Bond." }, { "id": 2778, "line_number": 15, "character": { "id": 24, "first_name": "Tex", "last_name": null, "full_name": "Tex" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Ah, you're a Bond guy are ya? My man's gotta be Wayne.", "dialogue": "Ah, you're a Bond guy are ya? My man's gotta be Wayne." }, { "id": 2779, "line_number": 16, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "What, Wayne Sleep? It's just, the jacket and the boots.", "dialogue": "What, Wayne Sleep? It's just, the jacket and the boots." }, { "id": 2780, "line_number": 17, "character": { "id": 24, "first_name": "Tex", "last_name": null, "full_name": "Tex" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "No. Wayne. \"Get off your horse and drink your milk.\"", "dialogue": "No. Wayne. \"Get off your horse and drink your milk.\"" }, { "id": 2781, "line_number": 18, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Yeah, yeah, Wayne Sleep.", "dialogue": "Yeah, yeah, Wayne Sleep." }, { "id": 2782, "line_number": 19, "character": { "id": 24, "first_name": "Tex", "last_name": null, "full_name": "Tex" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Hey, Mike. I'm just gonna grab a Dr Pepper from the cooler. Stick it on me tab.", "dialogue": "Hey, Mike. I'm just gonna grab a Dr Pepper from the cooler. Stick it on me tab." }, { "id": 2783, "line_number": 20, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Yeah, Michael. I'm just going to get a Ginsters from the fridge. Put it on the slate.", "dialogue": "Yeah, Michael. I'm just going to get a Ginsters from the fridge. Put it on the slate." }, { "id": 2784, "line_number": 21, "character": { "id": 24, "first_name": "Tex", "last_name": null, "full_name": "Tex" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Yeah, Mike. I can't wait to get back to the States.", "dialogue": "Yeah, Mike. I can't wait to get back to the States." }, { "id": 2785, "line_number": 22, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Yeah, I used to hang around the States.", "dialogue": "Yeah, I used to hang around the States." }, { "id": 2786, "line_number": 23, "character": { "id": 24, "first_name": "Tex", "last_name": null, "full_name": "Tex" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Where did you get to?", "dialogue": "Where did you get to?" }, { "id": 2787, "line_number": 24, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Florida mainly… A fortnight in Florida. Yeah, good days.", "dialogue": "Florida mainly… A fortnight in Florida. Yeah, good days." }, { "id": 2788, "line_number": 25, "character": { "id": 24, "first_name": "Tex", "last_name": null, "full_name": "Tex" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Florida, eh? Walt Disney. Now there's a guy who lived the American dream. Built a huge empire.", "dialogue": "Florida, eh? Walt Disney. Now there's a guy who lived the American dream. Built a huge empire." }, { "id": 2789, "line_number": 26, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Yeah, I thought he just drew pictures of mice. I prefer David Attenborough. At least he's more honest. He interviews real mice.", "dialogue": "Yeah, I thought he just drew pictures of mice. I prefer David Attenborough. At least he's more honest. He interviews real mice." }, { "id": 2790, "line_number": 27, "character": { "id": 24, "first_name": "Tex", "last_name": null, "full_name": "Tex" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Anyway. I'm gonna hit the road. Check you later, Mike.", "dialogue": "Anyway. I'm gonna hit the road. Check you later, Mike." }, { "id": 2791, "line_number": 28, "character": { "id": 3, "first_name": "Michael", "last_name": "the Geordie", "full_name": "Michael the Geordie" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Check you later.", "dialogue": "Check you later." }, { "id": 2792, "line_number": 29, "character": { "id": 24, "first_name": "Tex", "last_name": null, "full_name": "Tex" }, "custom_character_name": "to Alan", "text": "Nice to meet you, Colin.", "dialogue": "Nice to meet you, Colin." }, { "id": 2793, "line_number": 30, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Colin?", "dialogue": "Colin?" } ] }, { "id": 157, "title": "Alan discusses with Michael about all the men he talks to in the garage", "order_in_episode": 5, "image_url": null, "lines": [ { "id": 2794, "line_number": 1, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Walt Disney! Animals never wore clothes.", "dialogue": "Walt Disney! Animals never wore clothes." }, { "id": 2795, "line_number": 2, "character": { "id": 3, "first_name": "Michael", "last_name": "the Geordie", "full_name": "Michael the Geordie" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Hang on, hang on. There he goes.", "dialogue": "Hang on, hang on. There he goes." }, { "id": 2796, "line_number": 3, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Is that his pickup truck?", "dialogue": "Is that his pickup truck?" }, { "id": 2797, "line_number": 4, "character": { "id": 3, "first_name": "Michael", "last_name": "the Geordie", "full_name": "Michael the Geordie" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Aye, he calls it Convoy.", "dialogue": "Aye, he calls it Convoy." }, { "id": 2798, "line_number": 5, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Convoy? Michael, you're hanging around with a man who uses a collective term for a single vehicle.", "dialogue": "Convoy? Michael, you're hanging around with a man who uses a collective term for a single vehicle." }, { "id": 2799, "line_number": 6, "character": { "id": 3, "first_name": "Michael", "last_name": "the Geordie", "full_name": "Michael the Geordie" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "He just likes American things.", "dialogue": "He just likes American things." }, { "id": 2800, "line_number": 7, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "What, like Dr Pepper?", "dialogue": "What, like Dr Pepper?" }, { "id": 2801, "line_number": 8, "character": { "id": 3, "first_name": "Michael", "last_name": "the Geordie", "full_name": "Michael the Geordie" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Aye.", "dialogue": "Aye." }, { "id": 2802, "line_number": 9, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "It tastes like fizzy Benylin. So, how long's \"Like A Rhinestone Cowboy\" been coming in here?", "dialogue": "It tastes like fizzy Benylin. So, how long's \"Like A Rhinestone Cowboy\" been coming in here?" }, { "id": 2803, "line_number": 10, "character": { "id": 3, "first_name": "Michael", "last_name": "the Geordie", "full_name": "Michael the Geordie" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Well, about 18 month… Two year. Aye, two year.", "dialogue": "Well, about 18 month… Two year. Aye, two year." }, { "id": 2804, "line_number": 11, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Do you chat to any other men?", "dialogue": "Do you chat to any other men?" }, { "id": 2805, "line_number": 12, "character": { "id": 3, "first_name": "Michael", "last_name": "the Geordie", "full_name": "Michael the Geordie" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Aye. Including you, four regulars, like.", "dialogue": "Aye. Including you, four regulars, like." }, { "id": 2806, "line_number": 13, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Michael, what the hell's going on?", "dialogue": "Michael, what the hell's going on?" }, { "id": 2807, "line_number": 14, "character": { "id": 3, "first_name": "Michael", "last_name": "the Geordie", "full_name": "Michael the Geordie" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Well, it's just, you know, men who want someone to talk to. They're just lonely. Look, I cannot not talk to the customers, man. Look, what does it say on me badge \"Michael, I'm here to help.\"", "dialogue": "Well, it's just, you know, men who want someone to talk to. They're just lonely. Look, I cannot not talk to the customers, man. Look, what does it say on me badge \"Michael, I'm here to help.\"" }, { "id": 2808, "line_number": 15, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "No it doesn't, it just says \"Michael\".", "dialogue": "No it doesn't, it just says \"Michael\"." }, { "id": 2809, "line_number": 16, "character": { "id": 3, "first_name": "Michael", "last_name": "the Geordie", "full_name": "Michael the Geordie" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Oh, aye. It does.", "dialogue": "Oh, aye. It does." }, { "id": 2810, "line_number": 17, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Why did you think it said the rest?", "dialogue": "Why did you think it said the rest?" }, { "id": 2811, "line_number": 18, "character": { "id": 3, "first_name": "Michael", "last_name": "the Geordie", "full_name": "Michael the Geordie" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "I don't know. I must have dreamt it. So, anyway, hey. Bond weekend. Me and you.", "dialogue": "I don't know. I must have dreamt it. So, anyway, hey. Bond weekend. Me and you." }, { "id": 2812, "line_number": 19, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "I don't remember inviting you to the Bond weekend, Michael. I think what you've done is you've put two and two together, and you've made five. Or, as the Americans say \"Fi-i-ive\"", "dialogue": "I don't remember inviting you to the Bond weekend, Michael. I think what you've done is you've put two and two together, and you've made five. Or, as the Americans say \"Fi-i-ive\"" }, { "id": 2813, "line_number": 20, "character": { "id": 3, "first_name": "Michael", "last_name": "the Geordie", "full_name": "Michael the Geordie" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Do you want that Kit Kat?", "dialogue": "Do you want that Kit Kat?" }, { "id": 2814, "line_number": 21, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "No.", "dialogue": "No." }, { "id": 2815, "line_number": 22, "character": { "id": 3, "first_name": "Michael", "last_name": "the Geordie", "full_name": "Michael the Geordie" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "You'll have to pay for that.", "dialogue": "You'll have to pay for that." }, { "id": 2816, "line_number": 23, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Put it on the slate. No, actually, I'll eat it.", "dialogue": "Put it on the slate. No, actually, I'll eat it." } ] }, { "id": 158, "title": "Alan is back home, prancing around his unbuilt house like a spy", "order_in_episode": 6, "image_url": null, "lines": [ { "id": 2817, "line_number": 1, "character": { "id": 62, "first_name": "John", "last_name": null, "full_name": "John" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "All right, Al?", "dialogue": "All right, Al?" }, { "id": 2818, "line_number": 2, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Aagh! What are you doing here? It's a bank holiday.", "dialogue": "Aagh! What are you doing here? It's a bank holiday." }, { "id": 2819, "line_number": 3, "character": { "id": 62, "first_name": "John", "last_name": null, "full_name": "John" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Well, I had to come in and do those dodgy floor joists, didn't I? What was that you were doing just then?", "dialogue": "Well, I had to come in and do those dodgy floor joists, didn't I? What was that you were doing just then?" }, { "id": 2820, "line_number": 4, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "I was just walking through my house… In the style of James Bond.", "dialogue": "I was just walking through my house… In the style of James Bond." }, { "id": 2821, "line_number": 5, "character": { "id": 62, "first_name": "John", "last_name": null, "full_name": "John" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Oh. That was quite good. I think you'll make a good James Bond.", "dialogue": "Oh. That was quite good. I think you'll make a good James Bond." }, { "id": 2822, "line_number": 6, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Do you really think so?", "dialogue": "Do you really think so?" }, { "id": 2823, "line_number": 7, "character": { "id": 62, "first_name": "John", "last_name": null, "full_name": "John" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "I like that \"Goldfinger\". That bit where the laser beam's going up his Jaffas.", "dialogue": "I like that \"Goldfinger\". That bit where the laser beam's going up his Jaffas." }, { "id": 2824, "line_number": 8, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "We should talk more, you know. I've got lots of subjects I'd love to chat about. I used to chat to another bloke about them, but he likes American things now. What do you think of American things?", "dialogue": "We should talk more, you know. I've got lots of subjects I'd love to chat about. I used to chat to another bloke about them, but he likes American things now. What do you think of American things?" }, { "id": 2825, "line_number": 9, "character": { "id": 62, "first_name": "John", "last_name": null, "full_name": "John" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "They're a bit full of themselves.", "dialogue": "They're a bit full of themselves." }, { "id": 2826, "line_number": 10, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Abso-bloody-exactly!", "dialogue": "Abso-bloody-exactly!" }, { "id": 2827, "line_number": 11, "character": { "id": 62, "first_name": "John", "last_name": null, "full_name": "John" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Not my cup of tea.", "dialogue": "Not my cup of tea." }, { "id": 2828, "line_number": 12, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Actually, we could do a Bond film. I could be Bond and you could be my stunt man. Because you've got a good physique.", "dialogue": "Actually, we could do a Bond film. I could be Bond and you could be my stunt man. Because you've got a good physique." }, { "id": 2829, "line_number": 13, "character": { "id": 62, "first_name": "John", "last_name": null, "full_name": "John" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Yeah, well I don't like to get too big. You know. It's your pec muscles you've got to start off with. Got to sort out your pecs, do your bench presses. Here, have a prod of that.", "dialogue": "Yeah, well I don't like to get too big. You know. It's your pec muscles you've got to start off with. Got to sort out your pecs, do your bench presses. Here, have a prod of that." }, { "id": 2830, "line_number": 14, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Yeah, very firm. Mine are more or less the same, they're just fractionally more flaccid. Apart from that, I've got a smooth chest with a ring of hairs round each nipple. And a thin line that sort of builds towards the usual place. Bye.", "dialogue": "Yeah, very firm. Mine are more or less the same, they're just fractionally more flaccid. Apart from that, I've got a smooth chest with a ring of hairs round each nipple. And a thin line that sort of builds towards the usual place. Bye." } ] }, { "id": 159, "title": "Alan is with Sonja in the static home, planning his Bond weekend", "order_in_episode": 7, "image_url": null, "lines": [ { "id": 2831, "line_number": 1, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Right, Sonja. Let's sort this timetable out. 9am, \"Doctor No\". Break for a pee. I need at least three minutes to urinate. Seems to take forever these days. I never thought, when I was in my 20s I'd have to push.", "dialogue": "Right, Sonja. Let's sort this timetable out. 9am, \"Doctor No\". Break for a pee. I need at least three minutes to urinate. Seems to take forever these days. I never thought, when I was in my 20s I'd have to push." }, { "id": 2832, "line_number": 2, "character": { "id": 23, "first_name": "Sonja", "last_name": null, "full_name": "Sonja" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Next?", "dialogue": "Next?" }, { "id": 2833, "line_number": 3, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "11:05, \"From Russia With Love\". 1:15, \"Goldfinger\". Strawberry Nesquik, fishcakes. 3:35, \"Thunderball\". Dump. Put question mark. See how I feel after the fishcakes.", "dialogue": "11:05, \"From Russia With Love\". 1:15, \"Goldfinger\". Strawberry Nesquik, fishcakes. 3:35, \"Thunderball\". Dump. Put question mark. See how I feel after the fishcakes." }, { "id": 2834, "line_number": 4, "character": { "id": 23, "first_name": "Sonja", "last_name": null, "full_name": "Sonja" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "How long?", "dialogue": "How long?" }, { "id": 2835, "line_number": 5, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Twenty minutes. We'll allow for complications. 6:15, \"You Only Live Twice\". Tin of Directors. 8:20, \"Diamonds Are Forever\". Put the roast on as soon as you see the moon buggy.", "dialogue": "Twenty minutes. We'll allow for complications. 6:15, \"You Only Live Twice\". Tin of Directors. 8:20, \"Diamonds Are Forever\". Put the roast on as soon as you see the moon buggy." }, { "id": 2836, "line_number": 6, "character": { "id": 23, "first_name": "Sonja", "last_name": null, "full_name": "Sonja" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "You are very brilliant. This is a clever schedule.", "dialogue": "You are very brilliant. This is a clever schedule." }, { "id": 2837, "line_number": 7, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Thank you. I love you, in a way. You could be a Bond femme fatale with your broken English. You're sexy, but I don't trust you.", "dialogue": "Thank you. I love you, in a way. You could be a Bond femme fatale with your broken English. You're sexy, but I don't trust you." }, { "id": 2838, "line_number": 8, "character": { "id": 23, "first_name": "Sonja", "last_name": null, "full_name": "Sonja" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "James Bond doesn't live in a caravan.", "dialogue": "James Bond doesn't live in a caravan." }, { "id": 2839, "line_number": 9, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "No, but this could very easily be a compact Swiss chalet. About to be stormed by 15 bad bastards in boiler suits.", "dialogue": "No, but this could very easily be a compact Swiss chalet. About to be stormed by 15 bad bastards in boiler suits." }, { "id": 2840, "line_number": 10, "character": { "id": 2, "first_name": "Lynn", "last_name": "Benfield", "full_name": "Lynn Benfield" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Hello.", "dialogue": "Hello." }, { "id": 2841, "line_number": 11, "character": null, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "_[Alan turns around and Lynn pretends to fire a gun]_", "dialogue": "[Alan turns around and Lynn pretends to fire a gun]" }, { "id": 2842, "line_number": 12, "character": { "id": 2, "first_name": "Lynn", "last_name": "Benfield", "full_name": "Lynn Benfield" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Bang-bang! Bang Bang!", "dialogue": "Bang-bang! Bang Bang!" }, { "id": 2843, "line_number": 13, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "You look like you quite enjoyed that.", "dialogue": "You look like you quite enjoyed that." }, { "id": 2844, "line_number": 14, "character": { "id": 2, "first_name": "Lynn", "last_name": "Benfield", "full_name": "Lynn Benfield" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "_[Mimicking a machine gun noise]_", "dialogue": "[Mimicking a machine gun noise]" }, { "id": 2845, "line_number": 15, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Was that a snub-nosed Uzi?", "dialogue": "Was that a snub-nosed Uzi?" }, { "id": 2846, "line_number": 16, "character": { "id": 2, "first_name": "Lynn", "last_name": "Benfield", "full_name": "Lynn Benfield" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Yes, I think it was.", "dialogue": "Yes, I think it was." }, { "id": 2847, "line_number": 17, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "You're in a remarkably cheerful mood considering it's the first anniversary of your mother's death.", "dialogue": "You're in a remarkably cheerful mood considering it's the first anniversary of your mother's death." }, { "id": 2848, "line_number": 18, "character": { "id": 2, "first_name": "Lynn", "last_name": "Benfield", "full_name": "Lynn Benfield" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Well, life goes on.", "dialogue": "Well, life goes on." }, { "id": 2849, "line_number": 19, "character": { "id": 23, "first_name": "Sonja", "last_name": null, "full_name": "Sonja" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Can we finish writing the Bond schedule?", "dialogue": "Can we finish writing the Bond schedule?" }, { "id": 2850, "line_number": 20, "character": { "id": 2, "first_name": "Lynn", "last_name": "Benfield", "full_name": "Lynn Benfield" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "You've made allowances for the visit to my mother's grave?", "dialogue": "You've made allowances for the visit to my mother's grave?" }, { "id": 2851, "line_number": 21, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Yes, that's in the schedule. Visit to your mother's grave, then \"Doctor No\". The underground base of an evil genius… and then \"Doctor No\"!", "dialogue": "Yes, that's in the schedule. Visit to your mother's grave, then \"Doctor No\". The underground base of an evil genius… and then \"Doctor No\"!" }, { "id": 2852, "line_number": 22, "character": { "id": 23, "first_name": "Sonja", "last_name": null, "full_name": "Sonja" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "If you make him take you to grave, then we'll be late for film, and all work we did will be destroyed.", "dialogue": "If you make him take you to grave, then we'll be late for film, and all work we did will be destroyed." }, { "id": 2853, "line_number": 23, "character": { "id": 2, "first_name": "Lynn", "last_name": "Benfield", "full_name": "Lynn Benfield" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Can't you cut one of the less important films?", "dialogue": "Can't you cut one of the less important films?" }, { "id": 2854, "line_number": 24, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Whoa! Whoa! Whoa-whoa! Whoa-whoa-whoa-whoa! Which are the less important Bond films, Lynn? I've got to hear this.", "dialogue": "Whoa! Whoa! Whoa-whoa! Whoa-whoa-whoa-whoa! Which are the less important Bond films, Lynn? I've got to hear this." }, { "id": 2855, "line_number": 25, "character": { "id": 2, "first_name": "Lynn", "last_name": "Benfield", "full_name": "Lynn Benfield" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "One of those Welsh ones.", "dialogue": "One of those Welsh ones." }, { "id": 2856, "line_number": 26, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Do you mean the Timothy Dalton ones? He didn't play it as a Welshman. He didn't say, \"The name's Bond. Jones the Bond. Double O th-even. Licensed to kill-ch!\". Lynn, are you wearing perfume?", "dialogue": "Do you mean the Timothy Dalton ones? He didn't play it as a Welshman. He didn't say, \"The name's Bond. Jones the Bond. Double O th-even. Licensed to kill-ch!\". Lynn, are you wearing perfume?" }, { "id": 2857, "line_number": 27, "character": { "id": 2, "first_name": "Lynn", "last_name": "Benfield", "full_name": "Lynn Benfield" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Yes.", "dialogue": "Yes." }, { "id": 2858, "line_number": 28, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "For a corpse?", "dialogue": "For a corpse?" }, { "id": 2859, "line_number": 29, "character": { "id": 2, "first_name": "Lynn", "last_name": "Benfield", "full_name": "Lynn Benfield" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "No. I'm going to have lunch at TGI Friday's with Gordon.", "dialogue": "No. I'm going to have lunch at TGI Friday's with Gordon." }, { "id": 2860, "line_number": 30, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "What, the retired policeman who's not a con man?", "dialogue": "What, the retired policeman who's not a con man?" }, { "id": 2861, "line_number": 31, "character": { "id": 2, "first_name": "Lynn", "last_name": "Benfield", "full_name": "Lynn Benfield" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Yes.", "dialogue": "Yes." }, { "id": 2862, "line_number": 32, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Well, you can have Death By Chocolate while he rifles through your building society book. Right, spectacles, driving gloves, phone, wallet, keys. Sonja, did you get the piccalilli?", "dialogue": "Well, you can have Death By Chocolate while he rifles through your building society book. Right, spectacles, driving gloves, phone, wallet, keys. Sonja, did you get the piccalilli?" }, { "id": 2863, "line_number": 33, "character": { "id": 23, "first_name": "Sonja", "last_name": null, "full_name": "Sonja" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Yes.", "dialogue": "Yes." }, { "id": 2864, "line_number": 34, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Chunky?", "dialogue": "Chunky?" }, { "id": 2865, "line_number": 35, "character": { "id": 23, "first_name": "Sonja", "last_name": null, "full_name": "Sonja" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Yes.", "dialogue": "Yes." }, { "id": 2866, "line_number": 36, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Excellent, let's go to the graveyard.", "dialogue": "Excellent, let's go to the graveyard." } ] }, { "id": 160, "title": "Alan and Lynn are at the graveyard", "order_in_episode": 8, "image_url": null, "lines": [ { "id": 2867, "line_number": 1, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Graveyards are so depressing. They remind me of death. There's a grave over there that I saw, that's of a man who died in 1872, and he was only three.", "dialogue": "Graveyards are so depressing. They remind me of death. There's a grave over there that I saw, that's of a man who died in 1872, and he was only three." }, { "id": 2868, "line_number": 2, "character": { "id": 2, "first_name": "Lynn", "last_name": "Benfield", "full_name": "Lynn Benfield" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Snazzy headstone there.", "dialogue": "Snazzy headstone there." }, { "id": 2869, "line_number": 3, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Yeah. That's one of those '80s ones. Black granite. It's a waste, really. Because if you sliced that three-wise, and laid it end to end, you'd have the lion's share of the work surface for a Poggenpohl kitchen. In fact, I bet a lot of these gravestones go missing. I wouldn't be surprised if they ended up as the work surfaces in luxury kitchens. They'd have to turn them upside down, of course, so that it didn't reveal the details of the dead, in recessed lettering. Which would also collect crumbs. Lynn, the anniversary of a dead mum is always a tough one. But I am up against it with this James Bondathon. So if you could limit your morning to no more than ten minutes! I'm trying to lighten the mood with a nazi voice.", "dialogue": "Yeah. That's one of those '80s ones. Black granite. It's a waste, really. Because if you sliced that three-wise, and laid it end to end, you'd have the lion's share of the work surface for a Poggenpohl kitchen. In fact, I bet a lot of these gravestones go missing. I wouldn't be surprised if they ended up as the work surfaces in luxury kitchens. They'd have to turn them upside down, of course, so that it didn't reveal the details of the dead, in recessed lettering. Which would also collect crumbs. Lynn, the anniversary of a dead mum is always a tough one. But I am up against it with this James Bondathon. So if you could limit your morning to no more than ten minutes! I'm trying to lighten the mood with a nazi voice." }, { "id": 2870, "line_number": 4, "character": { "id": 2, "first_name": "Lynn", "last_name": "Benfield", "full_name": "Lynn Benfield" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Well, you don't need to lighten the mood, Alan. I am not down.", "dialogue": "Well, you don't need to lighten the mood, Alan. I am not down." }, { "id": 2871, "line_number": 5, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "You've got ten minutes. Go give it to her.", "dialogue": "You've got ten minutes. Go give it to her." } ] }, { "id": 161, "title": "Alan is back home with Lynn, and gets to meet Gordon", "order_in_episode": 9, "image_url": null, "lines": [ { "id": 2872, "line_number": 1, "character": { "id": 2, "first_name": "Lynn", "last_name": "Benfield", "full_name": "Lynn Benfield" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "That's the first year over.", "dialogue": "That's the first year over." }, { "id": 2873, "line_number": 2, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Yeah, she's probably up there in heaven right now complaining about, what did she used to call them, \"brown people\"? I'll give her this, Lynn. She stuck to her guns with all that, right to the end. Even on the last day. The way she looked at that nurse. God rest her racist soul. She'll be horrified. I mean, Jesus was from the Middle East.", "dialogue": "Yeah, she's probably up there in heaven right now complaining about, what did she used to call them, \"brown people\"? I'll give her this, Lynn. She stuck to her guns with all that, right to the end. Even on the last day. The way she looked at that nurse. God rest her racist soul. She'll be horrified. I mean, Jesus was from the Middle East." }, { "id": 2874, "line_number": 3, "character": { "id": 2, "first_name": "Lynn", "last_name": "Benfield", "full_name": "Lynn Benfield" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Was he? Jesus wasn't brown.", "dialogue": "Was he? Jesus wasn't brown." }, { "id": 2875, "line_number": 4, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Lynn, let's not have that discussion now.", "dialogue": "Lynn, let's not have that discussion now." }, { "id": 2876, "line_number": 5, "character": { "id": 46, "first_name": "Gordon", "last_name": null, "full_name": "Gordon" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Can I come in?", "dialogue": "Can I come in?" }, { "id": 2877, "line_number": 6, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Sorry, we don't need our drive tarmacking, thank you very much.", "dialogue": "Sorry, we don't need our drive tarmacking, thank you very much." }, { "id": 2878, "line_number": 7, "character": { "id": 2, "first_name": "Lynn", "last_name": "Benfield", "full_name": "Lynn Benfield" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "This is Gordon.", "dialogue": "This is Gordon." }, { "id": 2879, "line_number": 8, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Oh, sorry. I thought you were a tinker with tarmac.", "dialogue": "Oh, sorry. I thought you were a tinker with tarmac." }, { "id": 2880, "line_number": 9, "character": { "id": 46, "first_name": "Gordon", "last_name": null, "full_name": "Gordon" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Nice to meet you.", "dialogue": "Nice to meet you." }, { "id": 2881, "line_number": 10, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "And you. Well, there's Lynn. Look after her. And make sure she's back here by ten o'clock, and don't get her pregnant! I believe you're quite keen on the Bible?", "dialogue": "And you. Well, there's Lynn. Look after her. And make sure she's back here by ten o'clock, and don't get her pregnant! I believe you're quite keen on the Bible?" }, { "id": 2882, "line_number": 11, "character": { "id": 46, "first_name": "Gordon", "last_name": null, "full_name": "Gordon" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "I live by it.", "dialogue": "I live by it." }, { "id": 2883, "line_number": 12, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "I was reading the book of Genesis the other day. I've got to say, that bloody snake.", "dialogue": "I was reading the book of Genesis the other day. I've got to say, that bloody snake." }, { "id": 2884, "line_number": 13, "character": { "id": 46, "first_name": "Gordon", "last_name": null, "full_name": "Gordon" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Do you suppose you'll be prone to temptation, like Adam?", "dialogue": "Do you suppose you'll be prone to temptation, like Adam?" }, { "id": 2885, "line_number": 14, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "I think I'd be more preoccupied by the fact that I was encountering a talking snake. I think, whether I wanted an apple or not would be a side issue. Even if it wasn't a talking snake, even if it just rolled an apple towards me and sort of went… I think I'd still be troubled. After that, I think I'd just put some trunks on, and sit down on the grass.", "dialogue": "I think I'd be more preoccupied by the fact that I was encountering a talking snake. I think, whether I wanted an apple or not would be a side issue. Even if it wasn't a talking snake, even if it just rolled an apple towards me and sort of went… I think I'd still be troubled. After that, I think I'd just put some trunks on, and sit down on the grass." }, { "id": 2886, "line_number": 15, "character": { "id": 2, "first_name": "Lynn", "last_name": "Benfield", "full_name": "Lynn Benfield" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Well, we'll be off then.", "dialogue": "Well, we'll be off then." }, { "id": 2887, "line_number": 16, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Great.", "dialogue": "Great." }, { "id": 2888, "line_number": 17, "character": { "id": 46, "first_name": "Gordon", "last_name": null, "full_name": "Gordon" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Well, I'm glad we're on our own, Alan. I've been wanting a word with you, about Lynn. I don't like the way you treat her.", "dialogue": "Well, I'm glad we're on our own, Alan. I've been wanting a word with you, about Lynn. I don't like the way you treat her." }, { "id": 2889, "line_number": 18, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Oh.", "dialogue": "Oh." }, { "id": 2890, "line_number": 19, "character": { "id": 46, "first_name": "Gordon", "last_name": null, "full_name": "Gordon" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "I think you're a bully. And if you don't start treating her better, I'm gonna knock your block off. Do I make myself clear?", "dialogue": "I think you're a bully. And if you don't start treating her better, I'm gonna knock your block off. Do I make myself clear?" }, { "id": 2891, "line_number": 20, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Yeah.", "dialogue": "Yeah." }, { "id": 2892, "line_number": 21, "character": { "id": 46, "first_name": "Gordon", "last_name": null, "full_name": "Gordon" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Do I make myself clear?", "dialogue": "Do I make myself clear?" }, { "id": 2893, "line_number": 22, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Yeah… Yes.", "dialogue": "Yeah… Yes." }, { "id": 2894, "line_number": 23, "character": { "id": 46, "first_name": "Gordon", "last_name": null, "full_name": "Gordon" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Keep the thought there.", "dialogue": "Keep the thought there." }, { "id": 2895, "line_number": 24, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Aagh! Sorry, I thought you were going to attack me with your finger.", "dialogue": "Aagh! Sorry, I thought you were going to attack me with your finger." }, { "id": 2896, "line_number": 25, "character": { "id": 46, "first_name": "Gordon", "last_name": null, "full_name": "Gordon" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "I know when I'm being lied to, you know. I spent a lot of my life being lied to.", "dialogue": "I know when I'm being lied to, you know. I spent a lot of my life being lied to." }, { "id": 2897, "line_number": 26, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "With respect, as an ex-police officer, if you hang around with criminals, you're gonna get lied to.", "dialogue": "With respect, as an ex-police officer, if you hang around with criminals, you're gonna get lied to." }, { "id": 2898, "line_number": 27, "character": { "id": 46, "first_name": "Gordon", "last_name": null, "full_name": "Gordon" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Think on.", "dialogue": "Think on." }, { "id": 2899, "line_number": 28, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "I'm thinking on. I'm thinking on.", "dialogue": "I'm thinking on. I'm thinking on." } ] }, { "id": 162, "title": "Alan is back in the static home sorting through his Bond collection", "order_in_episode": 10, "image_url": null, "lines": [ { "id": 2900, "line_number": 1, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "\"Let Die\", \"Golden\", \"Raker\", \"Eyes Only\", \"Pussy\", \"Daylights\", \"Nutty Professor II: The Klumps\", what's this doing here?", "dialogue": "\"Let Die\", \"Golden\", \"Raker\", \"Eyes Only\", \"Pussy\", \"Daylights\", \"Nutty Professor II: The Klumps\", what's this doing here?" }, { "id": 2901, "line_number": 2, "character": { "id": 23, "first_name": "Sonja", "last_name": null, "full_name": "Sonja" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "I got it for 90p's in a brilliant charity shop called Scope.", "dialogue": "I got it for 90p's in a brilliant charity shop called Scope." }, { "id": 2902, "line_number": 3, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Scope? Why do they change the name and ruin it? Consignia and Scope. It's the Post Office and the Spastic Society. Oh… butter my arse! I've just realised. We haven't got \"The Spy Who Loved Me\". I've just remembered, I lent it to that bloke who I used to chat to at the petrol station.", "dialogue": "Scope? Why do they change the name and ruin it? Consignia and Scope. It's the Post Office and the Spastic Society. Oh… butter my arse! I've just realised. We haven't got \"The Spy Who Loved Me\". I've just remembered, I lent it to that bloke who I used to chat to at the petrol station." }, { "id": 2903, "line_number": 4, "character": { "id": 23, "first_name": "Sonja", "last_name": null, "full_name": "Sonja" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Michael?", "dialogue": "Michael?" }, { "id": 2904, "line_number": 5, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Was that his name? I'm gonna have to go and get it off him.", "dialogue": "Was that his name? I'm gonna have to go and get it off him." }, { "id": 2905, "line_number": 6, "character": { "id": 62, "first_name": "John", "last_name": null, "full_name": "John" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Hello?", "dialogue": "Hello?" }, { "id": 2906, "line_number": 7, "character": null, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "_[Alan turns around and does karate kick]_", "dialogue": "[Alan turns around and does karate kick]" }, { "id": 2907, "line_number": 8, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Yeah. Unfortunately though, I don't think society's ready for \"View T'Kill\". \"Eeeh, Octopussy\".", "dialogue": "Yeah. Unfortunately though, I don't think society's ready for \"View T'Kill\". \"Eeeh, Octopussy\"." }, { "id": 2908, "line_number": 9, "character": { "id": 62, "first_name": "John", "last_name": null, "full_name": "John" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "\"Doctor Nowt\"", "dialogue": "\"Doctor Nowt\"" }, { "id": 2909, "line_number": 10, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Lovely stuff. Listen, I've just cracked open a bottle of Sunny Delight, they're quite big, and I can't manage a whole one. Fancy a shot?", "dialogue": "Lovely stuff. Listen, I've just cracked open a bottle of Sunny Delight, they're quite big, and I can't manage a whole one. Fancy a shot?" }, { "id": 2910, "line_number": 11, "character": { "id": 62, "first_name": "John", "last_name": null, "full_name": "John" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "No thanks. I've got to go off to the timber yard.", "dialogue": "No thanks. I've got to go off to the timber yard." }, { "id": 2911, "line_number": 12, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "I'll take you. Just grab a couple of straws, no problem. We can stop off at the petrol station on the way.", "dialogue": "I'll take you. Just grab a couple of straws, no problem. We can stop off at the petrol station on the way." }, { "id": 2912, "line_number": 13, "character": { "id": 62, "first_name": "John", "last_name": null, "full_name": "John" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "How is your Geordie mate?", "dialogue": "How is your Geordie mate?" }, { "id": 2913, "line_number": 14, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Well, you've got to ask yourself some serious questions about a man who sits in a petrol station all day, talking to other men.", "dialogue": "Well, you've got to ask yourself some serious questions about a man who sits in a petrol station all day, talking to other men." } ] }, { "id": 163, "title": "Alan and John head to the timber yard, but first they pop into the BP garage", "order_in_episode": 11, "image_url": null, "lines": [ { "id": 2914, "line_number": 1, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Have a look round, John. See if there's anything you fancy. I'll treat you.", "dialogue": "Have a look round, John. See if there's anything you fancy. I'll treat you." }, { "id": 2915, "line_number": 2, "character": { "id": 62, "first_name": "John", "last_name": null, "full_name": "John" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Cheers.", "dialogue": "Cheers." }, { "id": 2916, "line_number": 3, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": "to Michael", "text": "Has the Duke of Hazzard been in?", "dialogue": "Has the Duke of Hazzard been in?" }, { "id": 2917, "line_number": 4, "character": { "id": 3, "first_name": "Michael", "last_name": "the Geordie", "full_name": "Michael the Geordie" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Er, no, he's not.", "dialogue": "Er, no, he's not." }, { "id": 2918, "line_number": 5, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "I'd like you to return my \"Spy Who Loved Me\" video, and any other property that you have of mine.", "dialogue": "I'd like you to return my \"Spy Who Loved Me\" video, and any other property that you have of mine." }, { "id": 2919, "line_number": 6, "character": { "id": 3, "first_name": "Michael", "last_name": "the Geordie", "full_name": "Michael the Geordie" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "I haven't got it here, it's at home.", "dialogue": "I haven't got it here, it's at home." }, { "id": 2920, "line_number": 7, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Where, in America?", "dialogue": "Where, in America?" }, { "id": 2921, "line_number": 8, "character": { "id": 3, "first_name": "Michael", "last_name": "the Geordie", "full_name": "Michael the Geordie" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "No, in Lithow Street.", "dialogue": "No, in Lithow Street." }, { "id": 2922, "line_number": 9, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "This is my friend, John. John, don't be shy. Come out. Show him your tool belt.", "dialogue": "This is my friend, John. John, don't be shy. Come out. Show him your tool belt." }, { "id": 2923, "line_number": 10, "character": { "id": 3, "first_name": "Michael", "last_name": "the Geordie", "full_name": "Michael the Geordie" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Oh, smart.", "dialogue": "Oh, smart." }, { "id": 2924, "line_number": 11, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Yeah. It's interesting, Michael, this obsession you have with American things. And yet you work for British Petroleum. I mean, hello?", "dialogue": "Yeah. It's interesting, Michael, this obsession you have with American things. And yet you work for British Petroleum. I mean, hello?" }, { "id": 2925, "line_number": 12, "character": { "id": 3, "first_name": "Michael", "last_name": "the Geordie", "full_name": "Michael the Geordie" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Hello?", "dialogue": "Hello?" }, { "id": 2926, "line_number": 13, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "No, it's a thing people say!", "dialogue": "No, it's a thing people say!" }, { "id": 2927, "line_number": 14, "character": { "id": 3, "first_name": "Michael", "last_name": "the Geordie", "full_name": "Michael the Geordie" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "So, do you want any petrol?", "dialogue": "So, do you want any petrol?" }, { "id": 2928, "line_number": 15, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "No, I'm going to be getting it from across the road from now on. Your petrol's a bit obvious… It's a bit petrolly. Come on, John. Let's saddle our horses and get ourselves a curly Cumberland sausage from the Little-biddy Chef. Little Chef.", "dialogue": "No, I'm going to be getting it from across the road from now on. Your petrol's a bit obvious… It's a bit petrolly. Come on, John. Let's saddle our horses and get ourselves a curly Cumberland sausage from the Little-biddy Chef. Little Chef." }, { "id": 2929, "line_number": 16, "character": { "id": 3, "first_name": "Michael", "last_name": "the Geordie", "full_name": "Michael the Geordie" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Oh, hey. I taped that documentary for ya \"The World's Worst Storms\". Hey, there's footage of a tsunami, and it comes in and it crashes doon on this village and wipes them all oot.", "dialogue": "Oh, hey. I taped that documentary for ya \"The World's Worst Storms\". Hey, there's footage of a tsunami, and it comes in and it crashes doon on this village and wipes them all oot." }, { "id": 2930, "line_number": 17, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Programmes about storms? Get a life! Come on, John. Let's go to Sprowston.", "dialogue": "Programmes about storms? Get a life! Come on, John. Let's go to Sprowston." } ] }, { "id": 164, "title": "Alan is back in the static home, where Sonja, Lynn and Gordon are sitting on the banquette", "order_in_episode": 12, "image_url": null, "lines": [ { "id": 2931, "line_number": 1, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Oh, hello, Lynn. What are you doing here? A wonderful woman like you should be at home relaxing.", "dialogue": "Oh, hello, Lynn. What are you doing here? A wonderful woman like you should be at home relaxing." }, { "id": 2932, "line_number": 2, "character": { "id": 2, "first_name": "Lynn", "last_name": "Benfield", "full_name": "Lynn Benfield" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "You asked me to get you a black marker pen.", "dialogue": "You asked me to get you a black marker pen." }, { "id": 2933, "line_number": 3, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Oh. Thanks. In fact I'll give you a raise. Eight and a half thousand? Ni… Nine? Nine and a half. Te… Te… Tell you what. Tell you what. It's nine and a half thousand pounds. Let's all sing it. Tell you what, tell you what. It's nine and a half thousand pounds.", "dialogue": "Oh. Thanks. In fact I'll give you a raise. Eight and a half thousand? Ni… Nine? Nine and a half. Te… Te… Tell you what. Tell you what. It's nine and a half thousand pounds. Let's all sing it. Tell you what, tell you what. It's nine and a half thousand pounds." }, { "id": 2934, "line_number": 4, "character": { "id": 2, "first_name": "Lynn", "last_name": "Benfield", "full_name": "Lynn Benfield" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Thank you, Alan.", "dialogue": "Thank you, Alan." }, { "id": 2935, "line_number": 5, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "\"Mrs Robinson, are you trying to seduce me?\".", "dialogue": "\"Mrs Robinson, are you trying to seduce me?\"." }, { "id": 2936, "line_number": 6, "character": { "id": 2, "first_name": "Lynn", "last_name": "Benfield", "full_name": "Lynn Benfield" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Sonja, why don't we get some juice, while the men set the world to rights.", "dialogue": "Sonja, why don't we get some juice, while the men set the world to rights." }, { "id": 2937, "line_number": 7, "character": { "id": 46, "first_name": "Gordon", "last_name": null, "full_name": "Gordon" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Still watching you, Alan.", "dialogue": "Still watching you, Alan." }, { "id": 2938, "line_number": 8, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Yeah, I know. And I'm thinking about it in my block, that you may knock off.", "dialogue": "Yeah, I know. And I'm thinking about it in my block, that you may knock off." }, { "id": 2939, "line_number": 9, "character": { "id": 62, "first_name": "John", "last_name": null, "full_name": "John" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "That cement's dried now, Al. So I'll be off.", "dialogue": "That cement's dried now, Al. So I'll be off." }, { "id": 2940, "line_number": 10, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Ah, no, wait. Will you stay and watch a Bond film, please?", "dialogue": "Ah, no, wait. Will you stay and watch a Bond film, please?" }, { "id": 2941, "line_number": 11, "character": { "id": 62, "first_name": "John", "last_name": null, "full_name": "John" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "I can't, Al. I've got too much to do.", "dialogue": "I can't, Al. I've got too much to do." }, { "id": 2942, "line_number": 12, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Listen, I have been physically threatened by an ex-fuzz. If you hang around, I will pay you. How much is a monkey?", "dialogue": "Listen, I have been physically threatened by an ex-fuzz. If you hang around, I will pay you. How much is a monkey?" }, { "id": 2943, "line_number": 13, "character": { "id": 62, "first_name": "John", "last_name": null, "full_name": "John" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "500", "dialogue": "500" }, { "id": 2944, "line_number": 14, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "How much is a mouse?", "dialogue": "How much is a mouse?" }, { "id": 2945, "line_number": 15, "character": { "id": 62, "first_name": "John", "last_name": null, "full_name": "John" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "There's no such amount. Pony's 150.", "dialogue": "There's no such amount. Pony's 150." }, { "id": 2946, "line_number": 16, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Right, I'll give you 200. That's a pony and a bag of hooves.", "dialogue": "Right, I'll give you 200. That's a pony and a bag of hooves." }, { "id": 2947, "line_number": 17, "character": { "id": 62, "first_name": "John", "last_name": null, "full_name": "John" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Done.", "dialogue": "Done." }, { "id": 2948, "line_number": 18, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Great.", "dialogue": "Great." }, { "id": 2949, "line_number": 19, "character": { "id": 2, "first_name": "Lynn", "last_name": "Benfield", "full_name": "Lynn Benfield" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "I got Sunny Delight…", "dialogue": "I got Sunny Delight…" }, { "id": 2950, "line_number": 20, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Don't kiss me again.", "dialogue": "Don't kiss me again." }, { "id": 2951, "line_number": 21, "character": null, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "_[Lynn slips and pours two jugs of Sunny Delight all over Alan's Bond collection]_", "dialogue": "[Lynn slips and pours two jugs of Sunny Delight all over Alan's Bond collection]" }, { "id": 2952, "line_number": 22, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Aaaaaagh!", "dialogue": "Aaaaaagh!" }, { "id": 2953, "line_number": 23, "character": { "id": 2, "first_name": "Lynn", "last_name": "Benfield", "full_name": "Lynn Benfield" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Alan, I've spilt Sunny Delight all over your James Bond videos.", "dialogue": "Alan, I've spilt Sunny Delight all over your James Bond videos." }, { "id": 2954, "line_number": 24, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Lynn, you… shouldn't worry about it.", "dialogue": "Lynn, you… shouldn't worry about it." }, { "id": 2955, "line_number": 25, "character": { "id": 2, "first_name": "Lynn", "last_name": "Benfield", "full_name": "Lynn Benfield" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Are they repairable?", "dialogue": "Are they repairable?" }, { "id": 2956, "line_number": 26, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "I'll just check them. Yeah. They're ruined. Excuse me.", "dialogue": "I'll just check them. Yeah. They're ruined. Excuse me." }, { "id": 2957, "line_number": 27, "character": null, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "_[Alan walks over to the kitchen and picks up cereal boxes, walks outside and starts beating them with a hammer]_", "dialogue": "[Alan walks over to the kitchen and picks up cereal boxes, walks outside and starts beating them with a hammer]" }, { "id": 2958, "line_number": 28, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Mrs Moneypenny's an eejit! She's an eejit!", "dialogue": "Mrs Moneypenny's an eejit! She's an eejit!" } ] }, { "id": 165, "title": "Alan makes up with Michael outside the static home", "order_in_episode": 13, "image_url": null, "lines": [ { "id": 2959, "line_number": 1, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Hello, Michael.", "dialogue": "Hello, Michael." }, { "id": 2960, "line_number": 2, "character": { "id": 3, "first_name": "Michael", "last_name": "the Geordie", "full_name": "Michael the Geordie" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "What are ya dee-in'?", "dialogue": "What are ya dee-in'?" }, { "id": 2961, "line_number": 3, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Just destroying my cereals.", "dialogue": "Just destroying my cereals." }, { "id": 2962, "line_number": 4, "character": { "id": 3, "first_name": "Michael", "last_name": "the Geordie", "full_name": "Michael the Geordie" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Careful. Folk might say you're a cereal killer! Here's ya tape \"The Spy Who Loved Me\" and all your other stuff.", "dialogue": "Careful. Folk might say you're a cereal killer! Here's ya tape \"The Spy Who Loved Me\" and all your other stuff." }, { "id": 2963, "line_number": 5, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Can we make friends? I know I said all that stuff…", "dialogue": "Can we make friends? I know I said all that stuff…" }, { "id": 2964, "line_number": 6, "character": { "id": 3, "first_name": "Michael", "last_name": "the Geordie", "full_name": "Michael the Geordie" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "No, no. Pffff!", "dialogue": "No, no. Pffff!" }, { "id": 2965, "line_number": 7, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Pffff!", "dialogue": "Pffff!" }, { "id": 2966, "line_number": 8, "character": { "id": 3, "first_name": "Michael", "last_name": "the Geordie", "full_name": "Michael the Geordie" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Pffff!", "dialogue": "Pffff!" }, { "id": 2967, "line_number": 9, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Pfff! Come on, let's go and watch \"The Spy Who Loved Me\"!", "dialogue": "Pfff! Come on, let's go and watch \"The Spy Who Loved Me\"!" }, { "id": 2968, "line_number": 10, "character": { "id": 3, "first_name": "Michael", "last_name": "the Geordie", "full_name": "Michael the Geordie" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Oh, er. It's a bit difficult 'cause…", "dialogue": "Oh, er. It's a bit difficult 'cause…" }, { "id": 2969, "line_number": 11, "character": null, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "_[Tex's horn honks in the background]_", "dialogue": "[Tex's horn honks in the background]" }, { "id": 2970, "line_number": 12, "character": { "id": 3, "first_name": "Michael", "last_name": "the Geordie", "full_name": "Michael the Geordie" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "We were just gonna drive roond and blow the horn.", "dialogue": "We were just gonna drive roond and blow the horn." }, { "id": 2971, "line_number": 13, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Michael, you could have blown the horn in my Lexus. All you had to do was ask. You could have sat in the passenger seat and reached across. It's not on the end of a stalk, it's on the central steering wheel boss behind the air bag.", "dialogue": "Michael, you could have blown the horn in my Lexus. All you had to do was ask. You could have sat in the passenger seat and reached across. It's not on the end of a stalk, it's on the central steering wheel boss behind the air bag." }, { "id": 2972, "line_number": 14, "character": { "id": 3, "first_name": "Michael", "last_name": "the Geordie", "full_name": "Michael the Geordie" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Ah, well ye see. It's precision engineering, eh? It's like what you always say, it's the Japanese Mercedes, eh.", "dialogue": "Ah, well ye see. It's precision engineering, eh? It's like what you always say, it's the Japanese Mercedes, eh." }, { "id": 2973, "line_number": 15, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "God, I've missed you.", "dialogue": "God, I've missed you." }, { "id": 2974, "line_number": 16, "character": { "id": 3, "first_name": "Michael", "last_name": "the Geordie", "full_name": "Michael the Geordie" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "I've missed you an' all, man. You know, I really have. I just…", "dialogue": "I've missed you an' all, man. You know, I really have. I just…" }, { "id": 2975, "line_number": 17, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Hi, Tex. We're having a hoedown. I'm down, but I'm not a ho.", "dialogue": "Hi, Tex. We're having a hoedown. I'm down, but I'm not a ho." }, { "id": 2976, "line_number": 18, "character": { "id": 24, "first_name": "Tex", "last_name": null, "full_name": "Tex" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "D'you know there's a load of Frosties on your step?", "dialogue": "D'you know there's a load of Frosties on your step?" }, { "id": 2977, "line_number": 19, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Yes, I know. I've just been destroying my cereals. Got a problem with that? You're welcome to come and watch \"The Spy Who Loved Me\", with us.", "dialogue": "Yes, I know. I've just been destroying my cereals. Got a problem with that? You're welcome to come and watch \"The Spy Who Loved Me\", with us." }, { "id": 2978, "line_number": 20, "character": { "id": 24, "first_name": "Tex", "last_name": null, "full_name": "Tex" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Well, thanks very much, but me and Mike are getting off to the Truckfest.", "dialogue": "Well, thanks very much, but me and Mike are getting off to the Truckfest." }, { "id": 2979, "line_number": 21, "character": { "id": 24, "first_name": "Tex", "last_name": null, "full_name": "Tex" }, "custom_character_name": "to Michael", "text": "We'd better er…", "dialogue": "We'd better er…" }, { "id": 2980, "line_number": 22, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "He's staying with me.", "dialogue": "He's staying with me." }, { "id": 2981, "line_number": 23, "character": { "id": 3, "first_name": "Michael", "last_name": "the Geordie", "full_name": "Michael the Geordie" }, "custom_character_name": "to Tex", "text": "We could see it at Skegness. Timmy Mallett's gonna be there. It won't be as good, but.", "dialogue": "We could see it at Skegness. Timmy Mallett's gonna be there. It won't be as good, but." }, { "id": 2982, "line_number": 24, "character": { "id": 24, "first_name": "Tex", "last_name": null, "full_name": "Tex" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "All right!", "dialogue": "All right!" }, { "id": 2983, "line_number": 25, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Great. Fine. Fantastic.", "dialogue": "Great. Fine. Fantastic." }, { "id": 2984, "line_number": 26, "character": { "id": 24, "first_name": "Tex", "last_name": null, "full_name": "Tex" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Thanks very much.", "dialogue": "Thanks very much." }, { "id": 2985, "line_number": 27, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Let's watch \"The Spy Who Loved Me\"!", "dialogue": "Let's watch \"The Spy Who Loved Me\"!" }, { "id": 2986, "line_number": 28, "character": null, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "_[Sonja, Tex and Michael talk amongst themselves]_", "dialogue": "[Sonja, Tex and Michael talk amongst themselves]" }, { "id": 2987, "line_number": 29, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Stop talking about American things and let's watch the best film ever made.", "dialogue": "Stop talking about American things and let's watch the best film ever made." } ] }, { "id": 166, "title": "Everyone is settled to watch The Spy Who Loved Me", "order_in_episode": 14, "image_url": null, "lines": [ { "id": 2988, "line_number": 1, "character": { "id": 75, "first_name": "TV", "last_name": null, "full_name": "TV" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Welcome to \"America's Strongest Man\", where the toughest, mightiest titans…", "dialogue": "Welcome to \"America's Strongest Man\", where the toughest, mightiest titans…" }, { "id": 2989, "line_number": 2, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Have you taped over \"The Spy Who Loved Me\" with \"America's Strongest Man\"?", "dialogue": "Have you taped over \"The Spy Who Loved Me\" with \"America's Strongest Man\"?" }, { "id": 2990, "line_number": 3, "character": { "id": 3, "first_name": "Michael", "last_name": "the Geordie", "full_name": "Michael the Geordie" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "No, I haven't. It was Terry, I gave him the tape. He's done it, it's his fault.", "dialogue": "No, I haven't. It was Terry, I gave him the tape. He's done it, it's his fault." }, { "id": 2991, "line_number": 4, "character": { "id": 24, "first_name": "Tex", "last_name": null, "full_name": "Tex" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "I'm really sorry. I really wanted to see the \"America's Strongest Man\".", "dialogue": "I'm really sorry. I really wanted to see the \"America's Strongest Man\"." }, { "id": 2992, "line_number": 5, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Well, now you've got \"Norfolk's Maddest Man\"! I wanted to watch Roger Moore necking with Fiona Fullerton. And instead, I have to watch a giant Michael Bolton lookalike, in a tight vest, throwing an oven over bales of hay!", "dialogue": "Well, now you've got \"Norfolk's Maddest Man\"! I wanted to watch Roger Moore necking with Fiona Fullerton. And instead, I have to watch a giant Michael Bolton lookalike, in a tight vest, throwing an oven over bales of hay!" }, { "id": 2993, "line_number": 6, "character": { "id": 23, "first_name": "Sonja", "last_name": null, "full_name": "Sonja" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "\"The Spy Who Loved Me\" is a brilliant film. It begin in forest in Germany…", "dialogue": "\"The Spy Who Loved Me\" is a brilliant film. It begin in forest in Germany…" }, { "id": 2994, "line_number": 7, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "It's Austria! Austria!", "dialogue": "It's Austria! Austria!" }, { "id": 2995, "line_number": 8, "character": { "id": 62, "first_name": "John", "last_name": null, "full_name": "John" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "What's the one where the laser beam goes up his Jaffas?", "dialogue": "What's the one where the laser beam goes up his Jaffas?" }, { "id": 2996, "line_number": 9, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "\"Goldfinger\"!", "dialogue": "\"Goldfinger\"!" }, { "id": 2997, "line_number": 10, "character": { "id": 3, "first_name": "Michael", "last_name": "the Geordie", "full_name": "Michael the Geordie" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "What's the one with the volcano, and it splits up and a big rocket comes oot, and there's all Chinkies jumping doon?", "dialogue": "What's the one with the volcano, and it splits up and a big rocket comes oot, and there's all Chinkies jumping doon?" }, { "id": 2998, "line_number": 11, "character": { "id": 24, "first_name": "Tex", "last_name": null, "full_name": "Tex" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Isn't that \"Thunderball\"?", "dialogue": "Isn't that \"Thunderball\"?" }, { "id": 2999, "line_number": 12, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "No, no, no! Stop getting Bond wrong! I'll tell you about \"The Spy Who Loved Me\". All do that with your fingers round your eye. I'm Roger Moore. Bang! Blood dribbles down. We're on a submarine. Two sailors sit down and have a game of chess. And the cups start wobbling. And then a man that used to be in \"The Onedin Line\" come in and goes, \"Why are all the cups wobbling, what's going on?\" Yeah, you can stop doing that now. And Then he pulls down the periscope and he looks through it and goes \"Oh, my god. The submarine's being eaten by a giant tanker\". And then we cut to Moscow. And there's man there, he's Russian – he's got eyebrows, you know. He's on the phone going \"What? A whole submarine? You're joking? I'm gonna have to tell some other Russians, see ya!\". And then it cuts to James – Roger Moore – and yes, he's with a lady. He's necking with her. And he goes \"I've got to go, love. Something's come up!\"…", "dialogue": "No, no, no! Stop getting Bond wrong! I'll tell you about \"The Spy Who Loved Me\". All do that with your fingers round your eye. I'm Roger Moore. Bang! Blood dribbles down. We're on a submarine. Two sailors sit down and have a game of chess. And the cups start wobbling. And then a man that used to be in \"The Onedin Line\" come in and goes, \"Why are all the cups wobbling, what's going on?\" Yeah, you can stop doing that now. And Then he pulls down the periscope and he looks through it and goes \"Oh, my god. The submarine's being eaten by a giant tanker\". And then we cut to Moscow. And there's man there, he's Russian – he's got eyebrows, you know. He's on the phone going \"What? A whole submarine? You're joking? I'm gonna have to tell some other Russians, see ya!\". And then it cuts to James – Roger Moore – and yes, he's with a lady. He's necking with her. And he goes \"I've got to go, love. Something's come up!\"…" }, { "id": 3000, "line_number": 13, "character": { "id": 3, "first_name": "Michael", "last_name": "the Geordie", "full_name": "Michael the Geordie" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Aye! He means his cock!", "dialogue": "Aye! He means his cock!" }, { "id": 3001, "line_number": 14, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Anyway, then he puts on his underpants and his ski suit, and he gets on his skis and starts skiing. And he's being chased by these Russian shits in black jumpsuits with lemon piping. And he's skiing along, and they start shooting at him and he goes \"I've had enough of that, just stop it!\". And he turns round with his gun, then he does a backward somersault off this ramp and he lands on his feet. I'm not sure why. But, he's not showing off. And then he goes over a cliff and he's falling, and you think, \"God, James Bond's going to die! He's going to die!\". But then, at the last minute…", "dialogue": "Anyway, then he puts on his underpants and his ski suit, and he gets on his skis and starts skiing. And he's being chased by these Russian shits in black jumpsuits with lemon piping. And he's skiing along, and they start shooting at him and he goes \"I've had enough of that, just stop it!\". And he turns round with his gun, then he does a backward somersault off this ramp and he lands on his feet. I'm not sure why. But, he's not showing off. And then he goes over a cliff and he's falling, and you think, \"God, James Bond's going to die! He's going to die!\". But then, at the last minute…" }, { "id": 3002, "line_number": 15, "character": { "id": 3, "first_name": "Michael", "last_name": "the Geordie", "full_name": "Michael the Geordie" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "He pulls a rip-cord, right. And a parachute comes oot, and it's got a Union Jack…", "dialogue": "He pulls a rip-cord, right. And a parachute comes oot, and it's got a Union Jack…" }, { "id": 3003, "line_number": 16, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Michael! Michael!", "dialogue": "Michael! Michael!" }, { "id": 3004, "line_number": 17, "character": { "id": 3, "first_name": "Michael", "last_name": "the Geordie", "full_name": "Michael the Geordie" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "But that's how it ends.", "dialogue": "But that's how it ends." }, { "id": 3005, "line_number": 18, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "That's not the end of the beginning. The end of the beginning goes like this. Glang glanga-langa langa langa langa lang. Glang-alang glang-alang alang. Nobody does it, better… And I'm a naked woman in silhouette with a gun, spinning round. Makes me feel sad for the rest. Nobody does it… Oh, bit of nipple. Quite as good as you, baby you're the best. And now a really big bounce, right over, and I land on my feet. I wasn't looking and somehow you found me… Ooh, bit of bush! I tried to hide from your love light… And a woman swinging on a Luger. A giant Luger. Ooh! Look at that. Like heaven above me… And now another naked woman, walking along the top of a gun, completely billy bollocks. The spy who loved me is keeping all my secrets safe tonight… And then one more big swing from a woman, legs go right up… Oh, what was that? Too late! Nobody does it half as good as you. Baby, you're the best.", "dialogue": "That's not the end of the beginning. The end of the beginning goes like this. Glang glanga-langa langa langa langa lang. Glang-alang glang-alang alang. Nobody does it, better… And I'm a naked woman in silhouette with a gun, spinning round. Makes me feel sad for the rest. Nobody does it… Oh, bit of nipple. Quite as good as you, baby you're the best. And now a really big bounce, right over, and I land on my feet. I wasn't looking and somehow you found me… Ooh, bit of bush! I tried to hide from your love light… And a woman swinging on a Luger. A giant Luger. Ooh! Look at that. Like heaven above me… And now another naked woman, walking along the top of a gun, completely billy bollocks. The spy who loved me is keeping all my secrets safe tonight… And then one more big swing from a woman, legs go right up… Oh, what was that? Too late! Nobody does it half as good as you. Baby, you're the best." }, { "id": 3006, "line_number": 19, "character": { "id": 23, "first_name": "Sonja", "last_name": null, "full_name": "Sonja" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Yes! Brilliant!", "dialogue": "Yes! Brilliant!" }, { "id": 3007, "line_number": 20, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "So, do you want to hear some more?", "dialogue": "So, do you want to hear some more?" }, { "id": 3008, "line_number": 21, "character": null, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "_[cuts to everybody sitting down watching \"America's Strongest Man\"]_", "dialogue": "[cuts to everybody sitting down watching \"America's Strongest Man\"]" } ] } ], "links": { "self": "https://alanpartridgescripts.co.uk/api/v1/episodes/im-alan-partridge/series-2/episode-4-never-say-alan-again.json", "web": "https://alanpartridgescripts.co.uk/im-alan-partridge/series-2/episode-4-never-say-alan-again" } } }