{ "data": { "id": 12, "title": "Alan Wide Shut", "slug": "episode-6-alan-wide-shut", "episode_number": 6, "episode_code": "S02E06", "overview": "Unsold copies of Alan's book are due to be destroyed, but on the plus side, the builders have completed work on his house and Lynn has invited him to her baptism.", "description": "Alan's house is finally finished and he gives each of the builders a leaving present - a copy of his book \"Bouncing Back\", which has not sold well at all and is due to be pulped. Sonja is keen to move in with him as her flat is being demolished to make way for an office block, but Alan is wary of commitment and prefers to \"come to an arrangement\".", "first_aired": "2002-12-16T00:00:00.000Z", "intro_image_url": null, "series": { "id": 2, "title": "I'm Alan Partridge: Series 2", "slug": "series-2", "series_number": 2, "series_code": "S02", "programme": { "id": 1, "title": "I'm Alan Partridge", "slug": "im-alan-partridge", "links": { "self": "https://alanpartridgescripts.co.uk/api/v1/programmes/im-alan-partridge.json" } }, "links": { "self": "https://alanpartridgescripts.co.uk/api/v1/series/im-alan-partridge/series-2.json", "web": "https://alanpartridgescripts.co.uk/im-alan-partridge/series-2" } }, "scenes": [ { "id": 178, "title": "Alan is on his radio show taking a call from Mary about what people will look like in the future", "order_in_episode": 1, "image_url": null, "lines": [ { "id": 3281, "line_number": 1, "character": { "id": 64, "first_name": "Mary", "last_name": null, "full_name": "Mary" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "I think we'll be giant super-beings, really.", "dialogue": "I think we'll be giant super-beings, really." }, { "id": 3282, "line_number": 2, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "We're talking about what people will look like in a billion years time. Carry on, Mary.", "dialogue": "We're talking about what people will look like in a billion years time. Carry on, Mary." }, { "id": 3283, "line_number": 3, "character": { "id": 64, "first_name": "Mary", "last_name": null, "full_name": "Mary" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "I don't think we'll have hair, you see. I think we'll be completely hairless.", "dialogue": "I don't think we'll have hair, you see. I think we'll be completely hairless." }, { "id": 3284, "line_number": 4, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Are you hairy, Mary?", "dialogue": "Are you hairy, Mary?" }, { "id": 3285, "line_number": 5, "character": { "id": 64, "first_name": "Mary", "last_name": null, "full_name": "Mary" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "No.", "dialogue": "No." }, { "id": 3286, "line_number": 6, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "What?", "dialogue": "What?" }, { "id": 3287, "line_number": 7, "character": { "id": 64, "first_name": "Mary", "last_name": null, "full_name": "Mary" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "No!", "dialogue": "No!" }, { "id": 3288, "line_number": 8, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Right.", "dialogue": "Right." }, { "id": 3289, "line_number": 9, "character": { "id": 64, "first_name": "Mary", "last_name": null, "full_name": "Mary" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "And I think at the end of the day, what will happen is, we'll be more or less the same, but with bigger hands and eyes and sex organs.", "dialogue": "And I think at the end of the day, what will happen is, we'll be more or less the same, but with bigger hands and eyes and sex organs." }, { "id": 3290, "line_number": 10, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "I wonder what that will look like.", "dialogue": "I wonder what that will look like." }, { "id": 3291, "line_number": 11, "character": { "id": 64, "first_name": "Mary", "last_name": null, "full_name": "Mary" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Look in the back of a spoon, in the bathroom.", "dialogue": "Look in the back of a spoon, in the bathroom." }, { "id": 3292, "line_number": 12, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Goodbye, Mary. Traffic!", "dialogue": "Goodbye, Mary. Traffic!" } ] }, { "id": 179, "title": "Alan is stuck in traffic on the way to the studio", "order_in_episode": 2, "image_url": null, "lines": [ { "id": 3293, "line_number": 1, "character": null, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "_[Horn honks]_", "dialogue": "[Horn honks]" }, { "id": 3294, "line_number": 2, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Get out of the way you _[bleep]_ idiot! You could get a bus through there you _[bleep]_! You stupid _[bleep]_ _[bleep]_, let me through!", "dialogue": "Get out of the way you [bleep] idiot! You could get a bus through there you [bleep]! You stupid [bleep] [bleep], let me through!" }, { "id": 3295, "line_number": 3, "character": null, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "_[Horns honk]_", "dialogue": "[Horns honk]" } ] }, { "id": 180, "title": "Alan reads out the traffic report on his radio show", "order_in_episode": 3, "image_url": null, "lines": [ { "id": 3296, "line_number": 1, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "We've got a traffic report; I'm just going to get rid of that, it's annoying. On the A146, just past Loddon, a lorry filled with livestock has jackknifed shedding its load over both lanes. Wonder what that looks like. Probably looks like something from \"Saving Private Ryan\", but with animals.", "dialogue": "We've got a traffic report; I'm just going to get rid of that, it's annoying. On the A146, just past Loddon, a lorry filled with livestock has jackknifed shedding its load over both lanes. Wonder what that looks like. Probably looks like something from \"Saving Private Ryan\", but with animals." } ] }, { "id": 181, "title": "Alan takes an anonymous call from a man who fears he may be gay, then hands over to Dave Clifton", "order_in_episode": 4, "image_url": null, "lines": [ { "id": 3297, "line_number": 1, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Now listeners, I have someone on the line who fears he may be a gay. He's married, so he wishes to remain anonymous. I shall only be using his Christian name. I'm talking to Domingo in Little Oakley. No? He's gone. That's a pity. Marvellous little tapas bar there. Well, we're just coming up to two minutes to one so we might as well go to Dave Clifton.", "dialogue": "Now listeners, I have someone on the line who fears he may be a gay. He's married, so he wishes to remain anonymous. I shall only be using his Christian name. I'm talking to Domingo in Little Oakley. No? He's gone. That's a pity. Marvellous little tapas bar there. Well, we're just coming up to two minutes to one so we might as well go to Dave Clifton." }, { "id": 3298, "line_number": 2, "character": { "id": 4, "first_name": "Dave", "last_name": "Clifton", "full_name": "Dave Clifton" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Yeah, hello, Alan. How you doing? Alright?", "dialogue": "Yeah, hello, Alan. How you doing? Alright?" }, { "id": 3299, "line_number": 3, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Yeah. What's that you're reading?", "dialogue": "Yeah. What's that you're reading?" }, { "id": 3300, "line_number": 4, "character": { "id": 4, "first_name": "Dave", "last_name": "Clifton", "full_name": "Dave Clifton" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Actually, it's incredible. This is the biography of an East End gangster; it's called \"Bad Slags\". It's amazing stuff. It's incredible.", "dialogue": "Actually, it's incredible. This is the biography of an East End gangster; it's called \"Bad Slags\". It's amazing stuff. It's incredible." }, { "id": 3301, "line_number": 5, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "I think there's another word for it, really. I think it's saaa-aad that people find it entertaining to read about men who call themselves things like Stan the Stabber, who chop people's heads off, in half. Set fire to their eyebrows and knock people's teeth out with a toffee hammer just because they couldn't repay a loan at a very uncompetitive rate of interest.", "dialogue": "I think there's another word for it, really. I think it's saaa-aad that people find it entertaining to read about men who call themselves things like Stan the Stabber, who chop people's heads off, in half. Set fire to their eyebrows and knock people's teeth out with a toffee hammer just because they couldn't repay a loan at a very uncompetitive rate of interest." }, { "id": 3302, "line_number": 6, "character": { "id": 4, "first_name": "Dave", "last_name": "Clifton", "full_name": "Dave Clifton" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Is your book in trouble with Stan the Stabber then, Alan?", "dialogue": "Is your book in trouble with Stan the Stabber then, Alan?" }, { "id": 3303, "line_number": 7, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "What do you mean?", "dialogue": "What do you mean?" }, { "id": 3304, "line_number": 8, "character": { "id": 4, "first_name": "Dave", "last_name": "Clifton", "full_name": "Dave Clifton" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Well, no, it's just that from what I hear all the unsold copies are being bundled into the back of a truck and driven to a big warehouse, where they're going to be quite literally, pulped.", "dialogue": "Well, no, it's just that from what I hear all the unsold copies are being bundled into the back of a truck and driven to a big warehouse, where they're going to be quite literally, pulped." }, { "id": 3305, "line_number": 9, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "There's only one word for people like you, Dave.", "dialogue": "There's only one word for people like you, Dave." }, { "id": 3306, "line_number": 10, "character": { "id": 4, "first_name": "Dave", "last_name": "Clifton", "full_name": "Dave Clifton" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Yeah?", "dialogue": "Yeah?" }, { "id": 3307, "line_number": 11, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "I'll tell you tomorrow.", "dialogue": "I'll tell you tomorrow." }, { "id": 3308, "line_number": 12, "character": { "id": 4, "first_name": "Dave", "last_name": "Clifton", "full_name": "Dave Clifton" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "OK Here's…", "dialogue": "OK Here's…" }, { "id": 3309, "line_number": 13, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Friggers! That's it! Friggers!", "dialogue": "Friggers! That's it! Friggers!" }, { "id": 3310, "line_number": 14, "character": { "id": 4, "first_name": "Dave", "last_name": "Clifton", "full_name": "Dave Clifton" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "…Salt n Pepa.", "dialogue": "…Salt n Pepa." } ] }, { "id": 182, "title": "Alan is in the static home with Sonja, celebrating his last few nights in the caravan", "order_in_episode": 5, "image_url": null, "lines": [ { "id": 3311, "line_number": 1, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Hit me! Hit me Hit me with your rhythm stick. It's nice to be a lunatic. Hit me. Hit me. Hit me. Only a few more nights in the caravan, Sonja. I thought we'd celebrate tonight by watching \"Spartacus\" with corned beef hash. Then afterwards we'll make sweet love. Then I'll drive you home.", "dialogue": "Hit me! Hit me Hit me with your rhythm stick. It's nice to be a lunatic. Hit me. Hit me. Hit me. Only a few more nights in the caravan, Sonja. I thought we'd celebrate tonight by watching \"Spartacus\" with corned beef hash. Then afterwards we'll make sweet love. Then I'll drive you home." }, { "id": 3312, "line_number": 2, "character": { "id": 23, "first_name": "Sonja", "last_name": null, "full_name": "Sonja" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "OK!", "dialogue": "OK!" }, { "id": 3313, "line_number": 3, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Actually, let's bring the love-making forward. Come here. Come here, you lucky, lucky lady. Oh, Lynn!", "dialogue": "Actually, let's bring the love-making forward. Come here. Come here, you lucky, lucky lady. Oh, Lynn!" }, { "id": 3314, "line_number": 4, "character": { "id": 2, "first_name": "Lynn", "last_name": "Benfield", "full_name": "Lynn Benfield" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Hello.", "dialogue": "Hello." }, { "id": 3315, "line_number": 5, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Hi. Just having some hygienic snogging.", "dialogue": "Hi. Just having some hygienic snogging." }, { "id": 3316, "line_number": 6, "character": { "id": 2, "first_name": "Lynn", "last_name": "Benfield", "full_name": "Lynn Benfield" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Right, I've nearly moved everything into the house. Oh, that's for you.", "dialogue": "Right, I've nearly moved everything into the house. Oh, that's for you." }, { "id": 3317, "line_number": 7, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "What's this?", "dialogue": "What's this?" }, { "id": 3318, "line_number": 8, "character": { "id": 2, "first_name": "Lynn", "last_name": "Benfield", "full_name": "Lynn Benfield" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Oh it's just an invitation to my baptism.", "dialogue": "Oh it's just an invitation to my baptism." }, { "id": 3319, "line_number": 9, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Baptism? Lynn, how will they get you up to the font? They'd need four men to lift you.", "dialogue": "Baptism? Lynn, how will they get you up to the font? They'd need four men to lift you." }, { "id": 3320, "line_number": 10, "character": { "id": 2, "first_name": "Lynn", "last_name": "Benfield", "full_name": "Lynn Benfield" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "No, no. It's not a font, it's a special pool that they lower you into.", "dialogue": "No, no. It's not a font, it's a special pool that they lower you into." }, { "id": 3321, "line_number": 11, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Right. And if you sink, you're a Baptist. And if you float, you're evil? It's touch and go.", "dialogue": "Right. And if you sink, you're a Baptist. And if you float, you're evil? It's touch and go." }, { "id": 3322, "line_number": 12, "character": { "id": 2, "first_name": "Lynn", "last_name": "Benfield", "full_name": "Lynn Benfield" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Alan, I just want you to stand by me with a towel to help me dry myself off.", "dialogue": "Alan, I just want you to stand by me with a towel to help me dry myself off." }, { "id": 3323, "line_number": 13, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Lynn, five minutes ago you were my PA and now you're inviting me to some sort of religious wet T-shirt competition.", "dialogue": "Lynn, five minutes ago you were my PA and now you're inviting me to some sort of religious wet T-shirt competition." }, { "id": 3324, "line_number": 14, "character": { "id": 2, "first_name": "Lynn", "last_name": "Benfield", "full_name": "Lynn Benfield" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Right. I've got you that \"Bad Slags\" book you asked for. And also, do you still want to do the radio show since all your books are being incinerated?", "dialogue": "Right. I've got you that \"Bad Slags\" book you asked for. And also, do you still want to do the radio show since all your books are being incinerated?" }, { "id": 3325, "line_number": 15, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Yes, I do want to do the radio show, Lynn. And, the books aren't being incinerated, they're being pulped. My book could very well end up being reconstituted as a trestle table in a home for battered women. I'm putting something back.", "dialogue": "Yes, I do want to do the radio show, Lynn. And, the books aren't being incinerated, they're being pulped. My book could very well end up being reconstituted as a trestle table in a home for battered women. I'm putting something back." }, { "id": 3326, "line_number": 16, "character": { "id": 2, "first_name": "Lynn", "last_name": "Benfield", "full_name": "Lynn Benfield" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Still annoyed about that \"Bad Slags\" book?", "dialogue": "Still annoyed about that \"Bad Slags\" book?" }, { "id": 3327, "line_number": 17, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "I am. I don't know why people buy this rubbish. About these East End thugs who lend you £100, and a week later you owe them a million. I'm not exaggerating. You buy a car off them and find out it's two front ends welded together. You send off for an MOT and you get a note back saying they found some chap's ribs in the oil sump. Or you take the lid off the gear knob and find a testis.", "dialogue": "I am. I don't know why people buy this rubbish. About these East End thugs who lend you £100, and a week later you owe them a million. I'm not exaggerating. You buy a car off them and find out it's two front ends welded together. You send off for an MOT and you get a note back saying they found some chap's ribs in the oil sump. Or you take the lid off the gear knob and find a testis." }, { "id": 3328, "line_number": 18, "character": { "id": 2, "first_name": "Lynn", "last_name": "Benfield", "full_name": "Lynn Benfield" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Alan, the builders are waiting to sign off.", "dialogue": "Alan, the builders are waiting to sign off." }, { "id": 3329, "line_number": 19, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "OK. I'm going to miss this caravan. I used to enjoy sitting here like this. Sometimes like this. Sometimes I'd lean forward and watch the TV.", "dialogue": "OK. I'm going to miss this caravan. I used to enjoy sitting here like this. Sometimes like this. Sometimes I'd lean forward and watch the TV." }, { "id": 3330, "line_number": 20, "character": { "id": 2, "first_name": "Lynn", "last_name": "Benfield", "full_name": "Lynn Benfield" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Well…", "dialogue": "Well…" }, { "id": 3331, "line_number": 21, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Hang on, there's a fourth position. Sometimes I used to like sitting here, like this… waiting for Sonja. Yeah, we had some good times on that banquette.", "dialogue": "Hang on, there's a fourth position. Sometimes I used to like sitting here, like this… waiting for Sonja. Yeah, we had some good times on that banquette." }, { "id": 3332, "line_number": 22, "character": { "id": 2, "first_name": "Lynn", "last_name": "Benfield", "full_name": "Lynn Benfield" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Alan? The Builders.", "dialogue": "Alan? The Builders." }, { "id": 3333, "line_number": 23, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Yes.", "dialogue": "Yes." } ] }, { "id": 183, "title": "Alan goes to speak to the builders in his new house", "order_in_episode": 6, "image_url": null, "lines": [ { "id": 3334, "line_number": 1, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Ahh, you've already made yourself comfortable on the banquette. Great.", "dialogue": "Ahh, you've already made yourself comfortable on the banquette. Great." }, { "id": 3335, "line_number": 2, "character": { "id": 51, "first_name": "Builder", "last_name": null, "full_name": "Builder" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Do you think it's a bit tight in here?", "dialogue": "Do you think it's a bit tight in here?" }, { "id": 3336, "line_number": 3, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Not really. People always go on about space, don't they? Oooh, it's nice to have a bit of space. People forget, you can get lost in space. Could have done with a skylight, really. Oh well. I presume we're all going to keep in touch, you know, now that the work's finished? I've got you all a present, for your hard work. I won't tell you what it is, it's a surprise.", "dialogue": "Not really. People always go on about space, don't they? Oooh, it's nice to have a bit of space. People forget, you can get lost in space. Could have done with a skylight, really. Oh well. I presume we're all going to keep in touch, you know, now that the work's finished? I've got you all a present, for your hard work. I won't tell you what it is, it's a surprise." }, { "id": 3337, "line_number": 4, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Lynn, what the frig have you got on your feet?", "dialogue": "Lynn, what the frig have you got on your feet?" }, { "id": 3338, "line_number": 5, "character": { "id": 2, "first_name": "Lynn", "last_name": "Benfield", "full_name": "Lynn Benfield" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Shoe covers.", "dialogue": "Shoe covers." }, { "id": 3339, "line_number": 6, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "You look like you live on a ward.", "dialogue": "You look like you live on a ward." }, { "id": 3340, "line_number": 7, "character": { "id": 2, "first_name": "Lynn", "last_name": "Benfield", "full_name": "Lynn Benfield" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "I just got fed up getting my feet dirty.", "dialogue": "I just got fed up getting my feet dirty." }, { "id": 3341, "line_number": 8, "character": { "id": 51, "first_name": "Builder", "last_name": null, "full_name": "Builder" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "They look like a pair of Action Man body bags!", "dialogue": "They look like a pair of Action Man body bags!" }, { "id": 3342, "line_number": 9, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Yeah, and it's fine to join in.", "dialogue": "Yeah, and it's fine to join in." }, { "id": 3343, "line_number": 10, "character": { "id": 62, "first_name": "John", "last_name": null, "full_name": "John" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "They're like baby bags for your feet. You know, if they want to sleep, or something.", "dialogue": "They're like baby bags for your feet. You know, if they want to sleep, or something." }, { "id": 3344, "line_number": 11, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Yeah, that's sort of a development of what he said, isn't it? But, you know, again, fine to join in. Carl, do you want to add anything about Lynn's shoe covers? Perhaps say that they're like a marquee for toes, or a foot tent, something like that?", "dialogue": "Yeah, that's sort of a development of what he said, isn't it? But, you know, again, fine to join in. Carl, do you want to add anything about Lynn's shoe covers? Perhaps say that they're like a marquee for toes, or a foot tent, something like that?" }, { "id": 3345, "line_number": 12, "character": { "id": 57, "first_name": "Carl", "last_name": null, "full_name": "Carl" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "No.", "dialogue": "No." }, { "id": 3346, "line_number": 13, "character": { "id": 2, "first_name": "Lynn", "last_name": "Benfield", "full_name": "Lynn Benfield" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Right, I've got some stuff for your bedroom. Have you decided which room it's going to be?", "dialogue": "Right, I've got some stuff for your bedroom. Have you decided which room it's going to be?" }, { "id": 3347, "line_number": 14, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Yes. Now. The bedroom. Down the corridor, last door on the left.", "dialogue": "Yes. Now. The bedroom. Down the corridor, last door on the left." }, { "id": 3348, "line_number": 15, "character": { "id": 62, "first_name": "John", "last_name": null, "full_name": "John" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "That's the box room, Al. I mean that's the same size as your bedroom in the caravan.", "dialogue": "That's the box room, Al. I mean that's the same size as your bedroom in the caravan." }, { "id": 3349, "line_number": 16, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Is it?", "dialogue": "Is it?" }, { "id": 3350, "line_number": 17, "character": { "id": 2, "first_name": "Lynn", "last_name": "Benfield", "full_name": "Lynn Benfield" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Yeah.", "dialogue": "Yeah." }, { "id": 3351, "line_number": 18, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Fine. You know. Squeeze a double bed in there, and I can open the door and just step up onto the bed.", "dialogue": "Fine. You know. Squeeze a double bed in there, and I can open the door and just step up onto the bed." }, { "id": 3352, "line_number": 19, "character": { "id": 2, "first_name": "Lynn", "last_name": "Benfield", "full_name": "Lynn Benfield" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Where are your clothes going to go?", "dialogue": "Where are your clothes going to go?" }, { "id": 3353, "line_number": 20, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "In the storage room. Just a short, naked jog across the landing.", "dialogue": "In the storage room. Just a short, naked jog across the landing." }, { "id": 3354, "line_number": 21, "character": { "id": 2, "first_name": "Lynn", "last_name": "Benfield", "full_name": "Lynn Benfield" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "What happens when you've got guests?", "dialogue": "What happens when you've got guests?" }, { "id": 3355, "line_number": 22, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Lynn, I'll cup myself. I don't mean with an actual cup.", "dialogue": "Lynn, I'll cup myself. I don't mean with an actual cup." }, { "id": 3356, "line_number": 23, "character": { "id": 57, "first_name": "Carl", "last_name": null, "full_name": "Carl" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "More like an egg cup!", "dialogue": "More like an egg cup!" }, { "id": 3357, "line_number": 24, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "It wouldn't be an egg cup. It'd be two egg cups and a kidney dish.", "dialogue": "It wouldn't be an egg cup. It'd be two egg cups and a kidney dish." } ] }, { "id": 184, "title": "Alan visits Michael in the BP garage", "order_in_episode": 7, "image_url": null, "lines": [ { "id": 3358, "line_number": 1, "character": { "id": 3, "first_name": "Michael", "last_name": "the Geordie", "full_name": "Michael the Geordie" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Do you want a pickled onion?", "dialogue": "Do you want a pickled onion?" }, { "id": 3359, "line_number": 2, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Err, no, I hate them. It's a very laid-back petrol station, this. You could have a couple of sofas in here, couldn't you. People would come in, relax. You know, you've got your petrol, it's fine.", "dialogue": "Err, no, I hate them. It's a very laid-back petrol station, this. You could have a couple of sofas in here, couldn't you. People would come in, relax. You know, you've got your petrol, it's fine." }, { "id": 3360, "line_number": 3, "character": { "id": 3, "first_name": "Michael", "last_name": "the Geordie", "full_name": "Michael the Geordie" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "This week's guest petrol is, Texaco. And err, next week's guest petrol will be… Texaco again.", "dialogue": "This week's guest petrol is, Texaco. And err, next week's guest petrol will be… Texaco again." }, { "id": 3361, "line_number": 4, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Yeah. And you've got a great forecourt, you could have a lovely barbecue out there.", "dialogue": "Yeah. And you've got a great forecourt, you could have a lovely barbecue out there." }, { "id": 3362, "line_number": 5, "character": { "id": 3, "first_name": "Michael", "last_name": "the Geordie", "full_name": "Michael the Geordie" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Oh, no. You're not allowed naked flames on the forecourt.", "dialogue": "Oh, no. You're not allowed naked flames on the forecourt." }, { "id": 3363, "line_number": 6, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "It's political correctness gone mad. You know, I tell you what amuses me, Michael. Really amuses me, when people criticize my book just because I happened to use the phrase \"Needless to say, I had the last laugh\" 14 times. Because, you know. You and I know, in my life to date I have actually had the last laugh…", "dialogue": "It's political correctness gone mad. You know, I tell you what amuses me, Michael. Really amuses me, when people criticize my book just because I happened to use the phrase \"Needless to say, I had the last laugh\" 14 times. Because, you know. You and I know, in my life to date I have actually had the last laugh…" }, { "id": 3364, "line_number": 7, "character": { "id": 3, "first_name": "Michael", "last_name": "the Geordie", "full_name": "Michael the Geordie" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "25 times.", "dialogue": "25 times." }, { "id": 3365, "line_number": 8, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "25 times, exactly.", "dialogue": "25 times, exactly." }, { "id": 3366, "line_number": 9, "character": { "id": 3, "first_name": "Michael", "last_name": "the Geordie", "full_name": "Michael the Geordie" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "There she blows. Ohh, lovely, man. Look at that, I bet you never thought that you could make toast in a microwave.", "dialogue": "There she blows. Ohh, lovely, man. Look at that, I bet you never thought that you could make toast in a microwave." }, { "id": 3367, "line_number": 10, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "That's not toast, Michael. That's hot, floppy bread.", "dialogue": "That's not toast, Michael. That's hot, floppy bread." }, { "id": 3368, "line_number": 11, "character": { "id": 3, "first_name": "Michael", "last_name": "the Geordie", "full_name": "Michael the Geordie" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "So what did you do last night?", "dialogue": "So what did you do last night?" }, { "id": 3369, "line_number": 12, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Just stayed in and watched a documentary about quicksand. Then Sonja and I took our tops off and had a cuddle, followed by mince and onions. Doesn't get much better than that.", "dialogue": "Just stayed in and watched a documentary about quicksand. Then Sonja and I took our tops off and had a cuddle, followed by mince and onions. Doesn't get much better than that." }, { "id": 3370, "line_number": 13, "character": { "id": 3, "first_name": "Michael", "last_name": "the Geordie", "full_name": "Michael the Geordie" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "It did for me. I done a bit better than a cuddle last night. I had full sex with a woman.", "dialogue": "It did for me. I done a bit better than a cuddle last night. I had full sex with a woman." }, { "id": 3371, "line_number": 14, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Go on, go on.", "dialogue": "Go on, go on." }, { "id": 3372, "line_number": 15, "character": { "id": 3, "first_name": "Michael", "last_name": "the Geordie", "full_name": "Michael the Geordie" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "She was all over us, man. I mean, she's a bit older than me, like. She's 60.", "dialogue": "She was all over us, man. I mean, she's a bit older than me, like. She's 60." }, { "id": 3373, "line_number": 16, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "60?", "dialogue": "60?" }, { "id": 3374, "line_number": 17, "character": { "id": 3, "first_name": "Michael", "last_name": "the Geordie", "full_name": "Michael the Geordie" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Aye, what's wrong with that? Same age difference as you and Sonja.", "dialogue": "Aye, what's wrong with that? Same age difference as you and Sonja." }, { "id": 3375, "line_number": 18, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Yeah, that's just wrong. You shouldn't do it the other way round.", "dialogue": "Yeah, that's just wrong. You shouldn't do it the other way round." }, { "id": 3376, "line_number": 19, "character": { "id": 3, "first_name": "Michael", "last_name": "the Geordie", "full_name": "Michael the Geordie" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "We did!", "dialogue": "We did!" }, { "id": 3377, "line_number": 20, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "60's not really old, is it? I mean look at Bob Dylan.", "dialogue": "60's not really old, is it? I mean look at Bob Dylan." }, { "id": 3378, "line_number": 21, "character": { "id": 3, "first_name": "Michael", "last_name": "the Geordie", "full_name": "Michael the Geordie" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Aye. She looked a bit like him.", "dialogue": "Aye. She looked a bit like him." }, { "id": 3379, "line_number": 22, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "What, with a big nose and lots of mad hair?", "dialogue": "What, with a big nose and lots of mad hair?" }, { "id": 3380, "line_number": 23, "character": { "id": 3, "first_name": "Michael", "last_name": "the Geordie", "full_name": "Michael the Geordie" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Aye, do you know her?", "dialogue": "Aye, do you know her?" }, { "id": 3381, "line_number": 24, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "No. How did you meet her?", "dialogue": "No. How did you meet her?" }, { "id": 3382, "line_number": 25, "character": { "id": 3, "first_name": "Michael", "last_name": "the Geordie", "full_name": "Michael the Geordie" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Ootside Threshers. She was loading all this booze into her car. And she says \"Ooh, I've had a bit to drink\", like. \"Would you drive us home… to Cardiff\"", "dialogue": "Ootside Threshers. She was loading all this booze into her car. And she says \"Ooh, I've had a bit to drink\", like. \"Would you drive us home… to Cardiff\"" }, { "id": 3383, "line_number": 26, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Cardiff?", "dialogue": "Cardiff?" }, { "id": 3384, "line_number": 27, "character": { "id": 3, "first_name": "Michael", "last_name": "the Geordie", "full_name": "Michael the Geordie" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Aye. I come back this morning on a National Express coach. It was sort of like an SAS operation, you know. Your mission: Gan 'til Cardiff, have full sex with a woman, come back on the coach. Sort of like Operation Bravo-Two-Zero.", "dialogue": "Aye. I come back this morning on a National Express coach. It was sort of like an SAS operation, you know. Your mission: Gan 'til Cardiff, have full sex with a woman, come back on the coach. Sort of like Operation Bravo-Two-Zero." }, { "id": 3385, "line_number": 28, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "I think in your case, Michael. It was Bravo-Six-Zero. By Randy McNab!", "dialogue": "I think in your case, Michael. It was Bravo-Six-Zero. By Randy McNab!" }, { "id": 3386, "line_number": 29, "character": { "id": 3, "first_name": "Michael", "last_name": "the Geordie", "full_name": "Michael the Geordie" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Hey, Randy McNob!", "dialogue": "Hey, Randy McNob!" }, { "id": 3387, "line_number": 30, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Stop that now.", "dialogue": "Stop that now." }, { "id": 3388, "line_number": 31, "character": { "id": 3, "first_name": "Michael", "last_name": "the Geordie", "full_name": "Michael the Geordie" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "So, how's you and Sonja getting on.", "dialogue": "So, how's you and Sonja getting on." }, { "id": 3389, "line_number": 32, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Never really thought about it. She'll be along soon, with a hot dessert.", "dialogue": "Never really thought about it. She'll be along soon, with a hot dessert." }, { "id": 3390, "line_number": 33, "character": { "id": 3, "first_name": "Michael", "last_name": "the Geordie", "full_name": "Michael the Geordie" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "I tell ya, the way she looks after you, man. You're looking a gift horse in the mouth.", "dialogue": "I tell ya, the way she looks after you, man. You're looking a gift horse in the mouth." }, { "id": 3391, "line_number": 34, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "No. I think that's what you were doing last night, Michael.", "dialogue": "No. I think that's what you were doing last night, Michael." }, { "id": 3392, "line_number": 35, "character": { "id": 3, "first_name": "Michael", "last_name": "the Geordie", "full_name": "Michael the Geordie" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "So, when's Lynn getting baptised, then?", "dialogue": "So, when's Lynn getting baptised, then?" }, { "id": 3393, "line_number": 36, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Splashdown for Lynn is 1500 hours on Sunday.", "dialogue": "Splashdown for Lynn is 1500 hours on Sunday." }, { "id": 3394, "line_number": 37, "character": { "id": 3, "first_name": "Michael", "last_name": "the Geordie", "full_name": "Michael the Geordie" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Ahh, right. And is, lover-boy gonna be there? The ex-policeman?", "dialogue": "Ahh, right. And is, lover-boy gonna be there? The ex-policeman?" }, { "id": 3395, "line_number": 38, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Gordon? I hope he's not doing the dunking. I wouldn't like to be dunked by a retired policeman. Because when you came up he'd probably go \"Where's the money?\" I'd say \"I don't know, I'm just being baptised\" \"Down you go again\".", "dialogue": "Gordon? I hope he's not doing the dunking. I wouldn't like to be dunked by a retired policeman. Because when you came up he'd probably go \"Where's the money?\" I'd say \"I don't know, I'm just being baptised\" \"Down you go again\"." }, { "id": 3396, "line_number": 39, "character": { "id": 3, "first_name": "Michael", "last_name": "the Geordie", "full_name": "Michael the Geordie" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Aye, aye. Here comes Sonja.", "dialogue": "Aye, aye. Here comes Sonja." }, { "id": 3397, "line_number": 40, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Ah, the dinner lady.", "dialogue": "Ah, the dinner lady." }, { "id": 3398, "line_number": 41, "character": { "id": 23, "first_name": "Sonja", "last_name": null, "full_name": "Sonja" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "This is rhubarb crumble and custard.", "dialogue": "This is rhubarb crumble and custard." }, { "id": 3399, "line_number": 42, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Smashing.", "dialogue": "Smashing." }, { "id": 3400, "line_number": 43, "character": { "id": 23, "first_name": "Sonja", "last_name": null, "full_name": "Sonja" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Alan, I am a homeless person. I went to my flat, and landlady is telling me that all the girls will have to go because she must sell this house because it will be office block. I have to find somewhere.", "dialogue": "Alan, I am a homeless person. I went to my flat, and landlady is telling me that all the girls will have to go because she must sell this house because it will be office block. I have to find somewhere." }, { "id": 3401, "line_number": 44, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Look. If the worst comes to the worst, you can always move in to Lynn's mum's bedroom.", "dialogue": "Look. If the worst comes to the worst, you can always move in to Lynn's mum's bedroom." }, { "id": 3402, "line_number": 45, "character": { "id": 23, "first_name": "Sonja", "last_name": null, "full_name": "Sonja" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "I don't want to sleep in Lynn's dead mum's bed.", "dialogue": "I don't want to sleep in Lynn's dead mum's bed." }, { "id": 3403, "line_number": 46, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Well, Michael did something similar last night and he's very happy. Come on. Let's see one of these. Actually, that's just weird.", "dialogue": "Well, Michael did something similar last night and he's very happy. Come on. Let's see one of these. Actually, that's just weird." } ] }, { "id": 185, "title": "Alan is being interviewed on the Prayer Wave radio show with Kate Fitzgerald", "order_in_episode": 8, "image_url": null, "lines": [ { "id": 3404, "line_number": 1, "character": { "id": 73, "first_name": "Tessa", "last_name": null, "full_name": "Tessa" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Hello, and welcome back to \"Prayer Wave\" with me, Tessa McPherson. I'm talking to Kate Fitzgerald, whose book \"Someone Else\" charts a journey of self discovery…", "dialogue": "Hello, and welcome back to \"Prayer Wave\" with me, Tessa McPherson. I'm talking to Kate Fitzgerald, whose book \"Someone Else\" charts a journey of self discovery…" }, { "id": 3405, "line_number": 2, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Good title.", "dialogue": "Good title." }, { "id": 3406, "line_number": 3, "character": { "id": 73, "first_name": "Tessa", "last_name": null, "full_name": "Tessa" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "…it takes you through childhood to your drug addiction and prostitution…", "dialogue": "…it takes you through childhood to your drug addiction and prostitution…" }, { "id": 3407, "line_number": 4, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Oh god.", "dialogue": "Oh god." }, { "id": 3408, "line_number": 5, "character": { "id": 73, "first_name": "Tessa", "last_name": null, "full_name": "Tessa" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "…and then to your recovery, in a very upbeat sort of a way…", "dialogue": "…and then to your recovery, in a very upbeat sort of a way…" }, { "id": 3409, "line_number": 6, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Mine's upbeat too.", "dialogue": "Mine's upbeat too." }, { "id": 3410, "line_number": 7, "character": { "id": 73, "first_name": "Tessa", "last_name": null, "full_name": "Tessa" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "I should say at this point that other voice that you can hear is my other guest, Alan Partridge. Now, Alan for a while, had a TV chat show and was quite a big name up there, and then it all went very wrong. And that's the subject of your book, \"Bouncing Back\".", "dialogue": "I should say at this point that other voice that you can hear is my other guest, Alan Partridge. Now, Alan for a while, had a TV chat show and was quite a big name up there, and then it all went very wrong. And that's the subject of your book, \"Bouncing Back\"." }, { "id": 3411, "line_number": 8, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Yes. I noticed that although Kate in effect felt she bounced back, I feel I have… had and are… bounced… bouncing. I felt that… Do you want to carry on talking to Kate while I just erm, sort something out. Can I borrow a pen?", "dialogue": "Yes. I noticed that although Kate in effect felt she bounced back, I feel I have… had and are… bounced… bouncing. I felt that… Do you want to carry on talking to Kate while I just erm, sort something out. Can I borrow a pen?" }, { "id": 3412, "line_number": 9, "character": { "id": 73, "first_name": "Tessa", "last_name": null, "full_name": "Tessa" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Yes. How's the book doing?", "dialogue": "Yes. How's the book doing?" }, { "id": 3413, "line_number": 10, "character": { "id": 76, "first_name": "Kate", "last_name": "Fitzgerald", "full_name": "Kate Fitzgerald" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "It's doing wonderfully well. The best feedback for me is actually people just coming up to me…", "dialogue": "It's doing wonderfully well. The best feedback for me is actually people just coming up to me…" }, { "id": 3414, "line_number": 11, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Yeah, I'm all right now. You know.", "dialogue": "Yeah, I'm all right now. You know." }, { "id": 3415, "line_number": 12, "character": { "id": 76, "first_name": "Kate", "last_name": "Fitzgerald", "full_name": "Kate Fitzgerald" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Erm. People who felt very alone, but through me they've found a friend…", "dialogue": "Erm. People who felt very alone, but through me they've found a friend…" }, { "id": 3416, "line_number": 13, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "All done.", "dialogue": "All done." }, { "id": 3417, "line_number": 14, "character": { "id": 73, "first_name": "Tessa", "last_name": null, "full_name": "Tessa" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "It's been very well received.", "dialogue": "It's been very well received." }, { "id": 3418, "line_number": 15, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Sorry… sorry.", "dialogue": "Sorry… sorry." }, { "id": 3419, "line_number": 16, "character": { "id": 76, "first_name": "Kate", "last_name": "Fitzgerald", "full_name": "Kate Fitzgerald" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Can I just say, it's actually quite distracting when you interrupt.", "dialogue": "Can I just say, it's actually quite distracting when you interrupt." }, { "id": 3420, "line_number": 17, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "You just interrupted her!", "dialogue": "You just interrupted her!" }, { "id": 3421, "line_number": 18, "character": { "id": 73, "first_name": "Tessa", "last_name": null, "full_name": "Tessa" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Erm. Alan. \"Bouncing Back\". I suspect you meant it as an ironic title, didn't you? Because, you haven't bounced back, have you? Certainly not emotionally, and I think in a sense, not in a career way either. How do you feel about that?", "dialogue": "Erm. Alan. \"Bouncing Back\". I suspect you meant it as an ironic title, didn't you? Because, you haven't bounced back, have you? Certainly not emotionally, and I think in a sense, not in a career way either. How do you feel about that?" }, { "id": 3422, "line_number": 19, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "What?", "dialogue": "What?" }, { "id": 3423, "line_number": 20, "character": { "id": 76, "first_name": "Kate", "last_name": "Fitzgerald", "full_name": "Kate Fitzgerald" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "I think what Tessa's saying is that you haven't bounced back. I mean, I haven't read your book, I've just skimmed it…", "dialogue": "I think what Tessa's saying is that you haven't bounced back. I mean, I haven't read your book, I've just skimmed it…" }, { "id": 3424, "line_number": 21, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "I have. I'm doing \"Norfolk Nights\" and I've got a show called… Why are you shaking your head? Are you trying to put me off? Two can play at that game!", "dialogue": "I have. I'm doing \"Norfolk Nights\" and I've got a show called… Why are you shaking your head? Are you trying to put me off? Two can play at that game!" }, { "id": 3425, "line_number": 22, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "I know you've problems, in the past…", "dialogue": "I know you've problems, in the past…" }, { "id": 3426, "line_number": 23, "character": { "id": 73, "first_name": "Tessa", "last_name": null, "full_name": "Tessa" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "So, err, yes. Bouncing back. You fell quite spectacularly…", "dialogue": "So, err, yes. Bouncing back. You fell quite spectacularly…" }, { "id": 3427, "line_number": 24, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Yeah, all right. Do you slow down for car crashes?", "dialogue": "Yeah, all right. Do you slow down for car crashes?" }, { "id": 3428, "line_number": 25, "character": { "id": 73, "first_name": "Tessa", "last_name": null, "full_name": "Tessa" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "I suppose, the point I'm trying to make really is that I've been looking for the positives in your book, and it is a book that is full of joy. But it's chiefly joy at other people's misfortunes.", "dialogue": "I suppose, the point I'm trying to make really is that I've been looking for the positives in your book, and it is a book that is full of joy. But it's chiefly joy at other people's misfortunes." }, { "id": 3429, "line_number": 26, "character": { "id": 76, "first_name": "Kate", "last_name": "Fitzgerald", "full_name": "Kate Fitzgerald" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "I noticed a lot of bitterness. Actually I noticed you end almost every anecdote with the phrase \"Needless to say, I had the last laugh.\"", "dialogue": "I noticed a lot of bitterness. Actually I noticed you end almost every anecdote with the phrase \"Needless to say, I had the last laugh.\"" }, { "id": 3430, "line_number": 27, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Yeah. Well you could end some of your chapters with \"Needles to say… I took drugs\"", "dialogue": "Yeah. Well you could end some of your chapters with \"Needles to say… I took drugs\"" }, { "id": 3431, "line_number": 28, "character": { "id": 73, "first_name": "Tessa", "last_name": null, "full_name": "Tessa" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "If I can turn to you, Kate.", "dialogue": "If I can turn to you, Kate." }, { "id": 3432, "line_number": 29, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Yeah, sure.", "dialogue": "Yeah, sure." }, { "id": 3433, "line_number": 30, "character": { "id": 73, "first_name": "Tessa", "last_name": null, "full_name": "Tessa" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "You come from quite a privileged background.", "dialogue": "You come from quite a privileged background." }, { "id": 3434, "line_number": 31, "character": { "id": 76, "first_name": "Kate", "last_name": "Fitzgerald", "full_name": "Kate Fitzgerald" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Err, Materially privileged yes, but emotionally undernourished. My father was very distant…", "dialogue": "Err, Materially privileged yes, but emotionally undernourished. My father was very distant…" }, { "id": 3435, "line_number": 32, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Is that because he lived in a different wing of your house?", "dialogue": "Is that because he lived in a different wing of your house?" }, { "id": 3436, "line_number": 33, "character": { "id": 76, "first_name": "Kate", "last_name": "Fitzgerald", "full_name": "Kate Fitzgerald" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Have you read my book?", "dialogue": "Have you read my book?" }, { "id": 3437, "line_number": 34, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "No, but I've seen the photographs in the central spine. And I read the bit where you say you put drugs up your bottom. Why? You've got a perfectly good mouth.", "dialogue": "No, but I've seen the photographs in the central spine. And I read the bit where you say you put drugs up your bottom. Why? You've got a perfectly good mouth." }, { "id": 3438, "line_number": 35, "character": { "id": 76, "first_name": "Kate", "last_name": "Fitzgerald", "full_name": "Kate Fitzgerald" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Very easy to confuse the two. Sometimes people can actually end up talking out of their arse, Alan.", "dialogue": "Very easy to confuse the two. Sometimes people can actually end up talking out of their arse, Alan." }, { "id": 3439, "line_number": 36, "character": { "id": 73, "first_name": "Tessa", "last_name": null, "full_name": "Tessa" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Let's talk a little bit more about your drug addiction. Now, you were hooked on variety of drugs, weren't you?", "dialogue": "Let's talk a little bit more about your drug addiction. Now, you were hooked on variety of drugs, weren't you?" }, { "id": 3440, "line_number": 37, "character": { "id": 76, "first_name": "Kate", "last_name": "Fitzgerald", "full_name": "Kate Fitzgerald" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Yeah. I started on crack.", "dialogue": "Yeah. I started on crack." }, { "id": 3441, "line_number": 38, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Now, that's not the same as crackling, is it?", "dialogue": "Now, that's not the same as crackling, is it?" }, { "id": 3442, "line_number": 39, "character": { "id": 76, "first_name": "Kate", "last_name": "Fitzgerald", "full_name": "Kate Fitzgerald" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "No.", "dialogue": "No." }, { "id": 3443, "line_number": 40, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "It's a joke. I love crackling. I had some last Sunday. It had hairs on it, but I didn't mind.", "dialogue": "It's a joke. I love crackling. I had some last Sunday. It had hairs on it, but I didn't mind." }, { "id": 3444, "line_number": 41, "character": { "id": 73, "first_name": "Tessa", "last_name": null, "full_name": "Tessa" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "And then the chemical dependency grew worse?", "dialogue": "And then the chemical dependency grew worse?" }, { "id": 3445, "line_number": 42, "character": { "id": 76, "first_name": "Kate", "last_name": "Fitzgerald", "full_name": "Kate Fitzgerald" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Yeah. My drug of choice became ketamine, which is in fact a horse tranquilliser.", "dialogue": "Yeah. My drug of choice became ketamine, which is in fact a horse tranquilliser." }, { "id": 3446, "line_number": 43, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Did you get that by hanging round stables? You know, you do seem quite posh. I can imagine you in wellies and one of those sleeveless anoraks.", "dialogue": "Did you get that by hanging round stables? You know, you do seem quite posh. I can imagine you in wellies and one of those sleeveless anoraks." }, { "id": 3447, "line_number": 44, "character": { "id": 76, "first_name": "Kate", "last_name": "Fitzgerald", "full_name": "Kate Fitzgerald" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "The technical name for that is actually a gilet.", "dialogue": "The technical name for that is actually a gilet." }, { "id": 3448, "line_number": 45, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "No, that's a razor. Could have done with that for the crackling. Have you ever shaved your crackling?", "dialogue": "No, that's a razor. Could have done with that for the crackling. Have you ever shaved your crackling?" }, { "id": 3449, "line_number": 46, "character": { "id": 73, "first_name": "Tessa", "last_name": null, "full_name": "Tessa" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Erm. Yes. Ketamine.", "dialogue": "Erm. Yes. Ketamine." }, { "id": 3450, "line_number": 47, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Why give drugs to a horse? Why drag them into it?", "dialogue": "Why give drugs to a horse? Why drag them into it?" }, { "id": 3451, "line_number": 48, "character": { "id": 76, "first_name": "Kate", "last_name": "Fitzgerald", "full_name": "Kate Fitzgerald" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "They use ketamine to tranquillise the horse and then to extract the horse's semen.", "dialogue": "They use ketamine to tranquillise the horse and then to extract the horse's semen." }, { "id": 3452, "line_number": 49, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "How do they do that?", "dialogue": "How do they do that?" }, { "id": 3453, "line_number": 50, "character": { "id": 76, "first_name": "Kate", "last_name": "Fitzgerald", "full_name": "Kate Fitzgerald" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "I don't know, the same way that you would a human being.", "dialogue": "I don't know, the same way that you would a human being." }, { "id": 3454, "line_number": 51, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "What, send him into a cubicle with magazines? They've got hooves for goodness' sake. Four of them. It'd take some doing, but I can't see it.", "dialogue": "What, send him into a cubicle with magazines? They've got hooves for goodness' sake. Four of them. It'd take some doing, but I can't see it." }, { "id": 3455, "line_number": 52, "character": { "id": 73, "first_name": "Tessa", "last_name": null, "full_name": "Tessa" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "I think we've strayed somewhat from the topic. I think it's interesting you both obviously have addictive personalities. Clearly in your case it was drugs. In your case, Alan, it was chocolate.", "dialogue": "I think we've strayed somewhat from the topic. I think it's interesting you both obviously have addictive personalities. Clearly in your case it was drugs. In your case, Alan, it was chocolate." }, { "id": 3456, "line_number": 53, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Yes. Specifically Toblerone. I would wake up in the middle of the night and eat an entire Toblerone. And I don't mean a small one. I mean a medium-sized one. In fact, in the best chapter in my book I talk about when I gorged on Toblerone and drove to Dundee in my bare feet.", "dialogue": "Yes. Specifically Toblerone. I would wake up in the middle of the night and eat an entire Toblerone. And I don't mean a small one. I mean a medium-sized one. In fact, in the best chapter in my book I talk about when I gorged on Toblerone and drove to Dundee in my bare feet." }, { "id": 3457, "line_number": 54, "character": { "id": 76, "first_name": "Kate", "last_name": "Fitzgerald", "full_name": "Kate Fitzgerald" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "I have to say. Chocolate addiction is never going to be as destructive as drug addiction.", "dialogue": "I have to say. Chocolate addiction is never going to be as destructive as drug addiction." }, { "id": 3458, "line_number": 55, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "What's her book like?", "dialogue": "What's her book like?" }, { "id": 3459, "line_number": 56, "character": { "id": 76, "first_name": "Kate", "last_name": "Fitzgerald", "full_name": "Kate Fitzgerald" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Excuse me, I really don't like being referred to as \"her\".", "dialogue": "Excuse me, I really don't like being referred to as \"her\"." }, { "id": 3460, "line_number": 57, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "All right, what's \"his\" book like? I don't know your name. Tara Peter Frampton double-barrel-shotgun Kensington on the horse.", "dialogue": "All right, what's \"his\" book like? I don't know your name. Tara Peter Frampton double-barrel-shotgun Kensington on the horse." }, { "id": 3461, "line_number": 58, "character": { "id": 76, "first_name": "Kate", "last_name": "Fitzgerald", "full_name": "Kate Fitzgerald" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "You really have got a lot of issues.", "dialogue": "You really have got a lot of issues." }, { "id": 3462, "line_number": 59, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Yeah, of \"What Car?\" magazine.", "dialogue": "Yeah, of \"What Car?\" magazine." }, { "id": 3463, "line_number": 60, "character": { "id": 73, "first_name": "Tessa", "last_name": null, "full_name": "Tessa" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "That's something of a first on \"Prayer Wave\". Never had anybody walk out before.", "dialogue": "That's something of a first on \"Prayer Wave\". Never had anybody walk out before." }, { "id": 3464, "line_number": 61, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Yes, I think the atmosphere has turned rather sour.", "dialogue": "Yes, I think the atmosphere has turned rather sour." }, { "id": 3465, "line_number": 62, "character": { "id": 73, "first_name": "Tessa", "last_name": null, "full_name": "Tessa" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Yes. Let's see if we can smooth things over with a little bit more from Monteverdi's \"Vespers\".", "dialogue": "Yes. Let's see if we can smooth things over with a little bit more from Monteverdi's \"Vespers\"." }, { "id": 3466, "line_number": 63, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Good band.", "dialogue": "Good band." } ] }, { "id": 186, "title": "After the Prayer Wave interview, Alan chats with Tessa and introduces Lynn", "order_in_episode": 9, "image_url": null, "lines": [ { "id": 3467, "line_number": 1, "character": { "id": 73, "first_name": "Tessa", "last_name": null, "full_name": "Tessa" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Well, thank you very much for coming on the show, Alan. Slightly more exciting than I'd anticipated.", "dialogue": "Well, thank you very much for coming on the show, Alan. Slightly more exciting than I'd anticipated." }, { "id": 3468, "line_number": 2, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Yes. Oh, sorry, can I introduce you, this is my PA, Lynn.", "dialogue": "Yes. Oh, sorry, can I introduce you, this is my PA, Lynn." }, { "id": 3469, "line_number": 3, "character": { "id": 73, "first_name": "Tessa", "last_name": null, "full_name": "Tessa" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Hello.", "dialogue": "Hello." }, { "id": 3470, "line_number": 4, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "You must be a guest on my show sometime. We discuss issues. Europe, conspiracy theories, what happens if you just eat crisps. Things like that.", "dialogue": "You must be a guest on my show sometime. We discuss issues. Europe, conspiracy theories, what happens if you just eat crisps. Things like that." }, { "id": 3471, "line_number": 5, "character": { "id": 73, "first_name": "Tessa", "last_name": null, "full_name": "Tessa" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "That sounds interesting actually. We're currently revamping this show. I'm actually looking for a co-presenter at the moment, so be quite interesting to talk to you about some of those ideas. You know I'm the producer of the show as well as the presenter.", "dialogue": "That sounds interesting actually. We're currently revamping this show. I'm actually looking for a co-presenter at the moment, so be quite interesting to talk to you about some of those ideas. You know I'm the producer of the show as well as the presenter." }, { "id": 3472, "line_number": 6, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Oh! No! That's interesting isn't it. I didn't know who you are, and yet I still got in with you. Oh, I forgot to say. I am soooo a Christian.", "dialogue": "Oh! No! That's interesting isn't it. I didn't know who you are, and yet I still got in with you. Oh, I forgot to say. I am soooo a Christian." }, { "id": 3473, "line_number": 7, "character": { "id": 73, "first_name": "Tessa", "last_name": null, "full_name": "Tessa" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "It's not a pre-requisite for being on the programme.", "dialogue": "It's not a pre-requisite for being on the programme." }, { "id": 3474, "line_number": 8, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Come on.", "dialogue": "Come on." }, { "id": 3475, "line_number": 9, "character": { "id": 73, "first_name": "Tessa", "last_name": null, "full_name": "Tessa" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "No, really. It's more to do with our family remit.", "dialogue": "No, really. It's more to do with our family remit." }, { "id": 3476, "line_number": 10, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Well, I love families, you know. I used to have one, but it left me. This one's a Baptist. Lynn's being submerged this week, for her sins. Literally. You're welcome to come along.", "dialogue": "Well, I love families, you know. I used to have one, but it left me. This one's a Baptist. Lynn's being submerged this week, for her sins. Literally. You're welcome to come along." }, { "id": 3477, "line_number": 11, "character": { "id": 73, "first_name": "Tessa", "last_name": null, "full_name": "Tessa" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Oh, how wonderful. Have you been preparing for it for a long time?", "dialogue": "Oh, how wonderful. Have you been preparing for it for a long time?" }, { "id": 3478, "line_number": 12, "character": { "id": 2, "first_name": "Lynn", "last_name": "Benfield", "full_name": "Lynn Benfield" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Oh, yes. Yes.", "dialogue": "Oh, yes. Yes." }, { "id": 3479, "line_number": 13, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Shall we make tracks?", "dialogue": "Shall we make tracks?" } ] }, { "id": 187, "title": "Alan is back in the static home with Sonja discussing his book being pulped", "order_in_episode": 10, "image_url": null, "lines": [ { "id": 3480, "line_number": 1, "character": { "id": 23, "first_name": "Sonja", "last_name": null, "full_name": "Sonja" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "So, Alan, when is your book being destroyed?", "dialogue": "So, Alan, when is your book being destroyed?" }, { "id": 3481, "line_number": 2, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Sonja, it's not being destroyed. The correct term is pulped. They're pulping the remaining unsold 14,000 copies of my book next Thursday. So they can make room for books on Cockney killers.", "dialogue": "Sonja, it's not being destroyed. The correct term is pulped. They're pulping the remaining unsold 14,000 copies of my book next Thursday. So they can make room for books on Cockney killers." }, { "id": 3482, "line_number": 3, "character": { "id": 23, "first_name": "Sonja", "last_name": null, "full_name": "Sonja" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "What is Cockney?", "dialogue": "What is Cockney?" }, { "id": 3483, "line_number": 4, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Cockney, Sonja, is an area in London where criminals live. The police don't arrest them because, and they're very strict about this, because they only slaughter their own. And they have funerals with horses and floral tributes that say things like \"Mum\" and \"Stab\".", "dialogue": "Cockney, Sonja, is an area in London where criminals live. The police don't arrest them because, and they're very strict about this, because they only slaughter their own. And they have funerals with horses and floral tributes that say things like \"Mum\" and \"Stab\"." }, { "id": 3484, "line_number": 5, "character": { "id": 23, "first_name": "Sonja", "last_name": null, "full_name": "Sonja" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "They don't sound so evil, these men like flowers.", "dialogue": "They don't sound so evil, these men like flowers." }, { "id": 3485, "line_number": 6, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Sonja, these guys, some of the stunts they pull… They'll chain you to a car that's been clamped. So the only way you can get yourself free is by phoning the council. But you can't do that because they've shoved your mobile phone up your backside.", "dialogue": "Sonja, these guys, some of the stunts they pull… They'll chain you to a car that's been clamped. So the only way you can get yourself free is by phoning the council. But you can't do that because they've shoved your mobile phone up your backside." }, { "id": 3486, "line_number": 7, "character": { "id": 23, "first_name": "Sonja", "last_name": null, "full_name": "Sonja" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Mobile phone not hurt too much. Is only small.", "dialogue": "Mobile phone not hurt too much. Is only small." }, { "id": 3487, "line_number": 8, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "No, Sonja. This was in the late '80s. Mobile phones were like big black plastic bricks with a rubber breadstick sticking out of the top. It's agony.", "dialogue": "No, Sonja. This was in the late '80s. Mobile phones were like big black plastic bricks with a rubber breadstick sticking out of the top. It's agony." }, { "id": 3488, "line_number": 9, "character": { "id": 23, "first_name": "Sonja", "last_name": null, "full_name": "Sonja" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Maybe if was vibrating phone, it quite pleasant!", "dialogue": "Maybe if was vibrating phone, it quite pleasant!" }, { "id": 3489, "line_number": 10, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Sonja, this is no laughing matter. You know, if you are at a fun fair, these guys might put your head in a candyfloss machine. And they might be standing round having a great laugh at you with your big pink hair. But you may be very very dizzy. Now, Sonja, I've been thinking about your impending homelessness and I've come to a decision. I want you to move in.", "dialogue": "Sonja, this is no laughing matter. You know, if you are at a fun fair, these guys might put your head in a candyfloss machine. And they might be standing round having a great laugh at you with your big pink hair. But you may be very very dizzy. Now, Sonja, I've been thinking about your impending homelessness and I've come to a decision. I want you to move in." }, { "id": 3490, "line_number": 11, "character": { "id": 23, "first_name": "Sonja", "last_name": null, "full_name": "Sonja" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Really?", "dialogue": "Really?" }, { "id": 3491, "line_number": 12, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "I want you to make the place your own.", "dialogue": "I want you to make the place your own." }, { "id": 3492, "line_number": 13, "character": { "id": 23, "first_name": "Sonja", "last_name": null, "full_name": "Sonja" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "I can't believe!", "dialogue": "I can't believe!" }, { "id": 3493, "line_number": 14, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "I've bought you the caravan.", "dialogue": "I've bought you the caravan." }, { "id": 3494, "line_number": 15, "character": { "id": 23, "first_name": "Sonja", "last_name": null, "full_name": "Sonja" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "I don't live in the house with you?", "dialogue": "I don't live in the house with you?" }, { "id": 3495, "line_number": 16, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Have you seen the size of the box room? I want you here in the caravan. You'd be my very own John West tinned woman. Skipjack Sonja in brine.", "dialogue": "Have you seen the size of the box room? I want you here in the caravan. You'd be my very own John West tinned woman. Skipjack Sonja in brine." }, { "id": 3496, "line_number": 17, "character": { "id": 23, "first_name": "Sonja", "last_name": null, "full_name": "Sonja" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "And I can come visit whenever I want?", "dialogue": "And I can come visit whenever I want?" }, { "id": 3497, "line_number": 18, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Probably best if I come and see you, actually. Yeah. We'll set up a signaling system. If you see a bottle of ketchup in the kitchen window, it means \"Let's make love\". \"I'm feeling saucy\".", "dialogue": "Probably best if I come and see you, actually. Yeah. We'll set up a signaling system. If you see a bottle of ketchup in the kitchen window, it means \"Let's make love\". \"I'm feeling saucy\"." }, { "id": 3498, "line_number": 19, "character": { "id": 23, "first_name": "Sonja", "last_name": null, "full_name": "Sonja" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "You want me to pay rent?", "dialogue": "You want me to pay rent?" }, { "id": 3499, "line_number": 20, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "I'm sure we can come to some sort of arrangement.", "dialogue": "I'm sure we can come to some sort of arrangement." }, { "id": 3500, "line_number": 21, "character": { "id": 23, "first_name": "Sonja", "last_name": null, "full_name": "Sonja" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "You're sure you don't want me to pay rent?", "dialogue": "You're sure you don't want me to pay rent?" }, { "id": 3501, "line_number": 22, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "No, it's fine, as I said, I'm sure we can come to some sort of arrangement.", "dialogue": "No, it's fine, as I said, I'm sure we can come to some sort of arrangement." } ] }, { "id": 188, "title": "Alan is at Lynn's baptism, Gordon has just finished speaking", "order_in_episode": 11, "image_url": null, "lines": [ { "id": 3502, "line_number": 1, "character": { "id": 46, "first_name": "Gordon", "last_name": null, "full_name": "Gordon" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "So I came to know a warm woman with a smile for everyone. So, let's hear it for Lynn.", "dialogue": "So I came to know a warm woman with a smile for everyone. So, let's hear it for Lynn." }, { "id": 3503, "line_number": 2, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": "to Michael", "text": "She didn't like being in that water did she? See her thrashing around?", "dialogue": "She didn't like being in that water did she? See her thrashing around?" }, { "id": 3504, "line_number": 3, "character": { "id": 3, "first_name": "Michael", "last_name": "the Geordie", "full_name": "Michael the Geordie" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "I've got it all on here, it's hilarious, man.", "dialogue": "I've got it all on here, it's hilarious, man." }, { "id": 3505, "line_number": 4, "character": { "id": 73, "first_name": "Tessa", "last_name": null, "full_name": "Tessa" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "That was lovely.", "dialogue": "That was lovely." }, { "id": 3506, "line_number": 5, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Yes. It was like a very moving sheep dip. Anyway, I'm down to do a spot now. And I'm going to be saying a lot of interesting things about God. So if you hang around.", "dialogue": "Yes. It was like a very moving sheep dip. Anyway, I'm down to do a spot now. And I'm going to be saying a lot of interesting things about God. So if you hang around." }, { "id": 3507, "line_number": 6, "character": { "id": 73, "first_name": "Tessa", "last_name": null, "full_name": "Tessa" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Oh, Unfortunately I've really got to go, Alan.", "dialogue": "Oh, Unfortunately I've really got to go, Alan." }, { "id": 3508, "line_number": 7, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "I'll do it now, I'll do it now.", "dialogue": "I'll do it now, I'll do it now." } ] }, { "id": 189, "title": "Alan gives his speech at the baptism", "order_in_episode": 12, "image_url": null, "lines": [ { "id": 3509, "line_number": 1, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Hello. You probably don't know me. I'm Alan Partridge. I host \"Norfolk Nights\" on Radio Norwich, and \"Skirmish\", a military-based general knowledge quiz on cable television channel called UK Conquest. But today is Lynn's day, and what a tragedy that the one person who can't be here is Lynn's mum, Peggy, who is dead. We didn't see eye to eye. There was a lot of bad blood… which coincidentally was one of the complications she had at the end. But erm, I'm digressing. Today is Lynn's day and she has bounced back in the same way that I have. Because God is a very positive God. Even when he tried to create the world in six days, there were people who said \"You can't do it, it can't be done\". Although he hadn't created people then. But the criticism bounced off him like water off… Not off a duck's back, because he hadn't invented ducks either. But erm, anyway… Where was I or is I? Is… was… iswas. \"Tiswas\". Who remembers \"Tiswas\"? The '70s! Spacehoppers and err… sweets they don't make any more. Er, err, err \"Kojak\"! Who loves ya, baby? A lollipop. Sorry, it's not going very well. Oh, I'm gonna kill myself. Where's my shotgun? Click, click, click. Can't get my toe on the trigger. Oh, got it. That's it. And to Lynn.", "dialogue": "Hello. You probably don't know me. I'm Alan Partridge. I host \"Norfolk Nights\" on Radio Norwich, and \"Skirmish\", a military-based general knowledge quiz on cable television channel called UK Conquest. But today is Lynn's day, and what a tragedy that the one person who can't be here is Lynn's mum, Peggy, who is dead. We didn't see eye to eye. There was a lot of bad blood… which coincidentally was one of the complications she had at the end. But erm, I'm digressing. Today is Lynn's day and she has bounced back in the same way that I have. Because God is a very positive God. Even when he tried to create the world in six days, there were people who said \"You can't do it, it can't be done\". Although he hadn't created people then. But the criticism bounced off him like water off… Not off a duck's back, because he hadn't invented ducks either. But erm, anyway… Where was I or is I? Is… was… iswas. \"Tiswas\". Who remembers \"Tiswas\"? The '70s! Spacehoppers and err… sweets they don't make any more. Er, err, err \"Kojak\"! Who loves ya, baby? A lollipop. Sorry, it's not going very well. Oh, I'm gonna kill myself. Where's my shotgun? Click, click, click. Can't get my toe on the trigger. Oh, got it. That's it. And to Lynn." } ] }, { "id": 190, "title": "After the speech, Alan talks to Tessa and encounters a Baptist guest", "order_in_episode": 13, "image_url": null, "lines": [ { "id": 3510, "line_number": 1, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Sorry about that. I won't do the shotgun thing on the radio. That's just for the Baptists.", "dialogue": "Sorry about that. I won't do the shotgun thing on the radio. That's just for the Baptists." }, { "id": 3511, "line_number": 2, "character": { "id": 73, "first_name": "Tessa", "last_name": null, "full_name": "Tessa" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Anyway, I've really got to go.", "dialogue": "Anyway, I've really got to go." }, { "id": 3512, "line_number": 3, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Yeah, go, go, go, go, go.", "dialogue": "Yeah, go, go, go, go, go." }, { "id": 3513, "line_number": 4, "character": { "id": 55, "first_name": "Baptist Guest", "last_name": null, "full_name": "Baptist Guest" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Hello, Alan. Can I just say I love your radio show.", "dialogue": "Hello, Alan. Can I just say I love your radio show." }, { "id": 3514, "line_number": 5, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Oh, thank you very much.", "dialogue": "Oh, thank you very much." }, { "id": 3515, "line_number": 6, "character": { "id": 55, "first_name": "Baptist Guest", "last_name": null, "full_name": "Baptist Guest" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "And I've read your book.", "dialogue": "And I've read your book." }, { "id": 3516, "line_number": 7, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Oh?", "dialogue": "Oh?" }, { "id": 3517, "line_number": 8, "character": { "id": 55, "first_name": "Baptist Guest", "last_name": null, "full_name": "Baptist Guest" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Have to say, didn't really work for me.", "dialogue": "Have to say, didn't really work for me." }, { "id": 3518, "line_number": 9, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "F'ck off.", "dialogue": "F'ck off." } ] }, { "id": 191, "title": "Sonja gives a speech about Alan at the baptism", "order_in_episode": 14, "image_url": null, "lines": [ { "id": 3519, "line_number": 1, "character": { "id": 23, "first_name": "Sonja", "last_name": null, "full_name": "Sonja" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "First, Alan was very shy before we make love. He was very shy of his body. But I just tell to him \"Please, it doesn't mind. It's what's inside what matter\" And also, Alan is pretty well hung, so… Now when we make love, he is like a big god bear.", "dialogue": "First, Alan was very shy before we make love. He was very shy of his body. But I just tell to him \"Please, it doesn't mind. It's what's inside what matter\" And also, Alan is pretty well hung, so… Now when we make love, he is like a big god bear." } ] }, { "id": 192, "title": "Alan apologises to the Baptist guest for the first time", "order_in_episode": 15, "image_url": null, "lines": [ { "id": 3520, "line_number": 1, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": "to Baptist Guest", "text": "Oh, erm. I'm sorry about that before. I think you just caught me at a bad moment.", "dialogue": "Oh, erm. I'm sorry about that before. I think you just caught me at a bad moment." }, { "id": 3521, "line_number": 2, "character": { "id": 55, "first_name": "Baptist Guest", "last_name": null, "full_name": "Baptist Guest" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Perfectly understandable. So. I hear your book's being pulped.", "dialogue": "Perfectly understandable. So. I hear your book's being pulped." }, { "id": 3522, "line_number": 3, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "F'ck off!", "dialogue": "F'ck off!" } ] }, { "id": 193, "title": "Michael is on the phone to the woman from Cardiff", "order_in_episode": 16, "image_url": null, "lines": [ { "id": 3523, "line_number": 1, "character": { "id": 3, "first_name": "Michael", "last_name": "the Geordie", "full_name": "Michael the Geordie" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Hello. Oh, hiya! Oh, Nerys, aye! So I know your name now. No, I can still smell you. 'Cause I haven't had a shower or owt.", "dialogue": "Hello. Oh, hiya! Oh, Nerys, aye! So I know your name now. No, I can still smell you. 'Cause I haven't had a shower or owt." }, { "id": 3524, "line_number": 2, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Shall we make tracks?", "dialogue": "Shall we make tracks?" } ] }, { "id": 194, "title": "Alan apologises to the Baptist guest for the second time and tells an anecdote", "order_in_episode": 17, "image_url": null, "lines": [ { "id": 3525, "line_number": 1, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Hello, again. I'm sorry, about that. It's just, you know when you have a book out and you get a lot of criticism. It's very difficult to…", "dialogue": "Hello, again. I'm sorry, about that. It's just, you know when you have a book out and you get a lot of criticism. It's very difficult to…" }, { "id": 3526, "line_number": 2, "character": { "id": 55, "first_name": "Baptist Guest", "last_name": null, "full_name": "Baptist Guest" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Not a problem.", "dialogue": "Not a problem." }, { "id": 3527, "line_number": 3, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Unfortunately, people would rather read books about people called Dan the Daggerman from Dagenham.", "dialogue": "Unfortunately, people would rather read books about people called Dan the Daggerman from Dagenham." }, { "id": 3528, "line_number": 4, "character": { "id": 55, "first_name": "Baptist Guest", "last_name": null, "full_name": "Baptist Guest" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Funny world.", "dialogue": "Funny world." }, { "id": 3529, "line_number": 5, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Tortures you by putting your hair in a fax machine and pressing \"Send\". What do you think was actually wrong with my book? Don't pull any punches.", "dialogue": "Tortures you by putting your hair in a fax machine and pressing \"Send\". What do you think was actually wrong with my book? Don't pull any punches." }, { "id": 3530, "line_number": 6, "character": { "id": 55, "first_name": "Baptist Guest", "last_name": null, "full_name": "Baptist Guest" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "To be honest. I don't think anecdotes are your forte.", "dialogue": "To be honest. I don't think anecdotes are your forte." }, { "id": 3531, "line_number": 7, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "That's fair enough. So you don't think I can tell anecdotes? Can you just pop that down for a second. Right! I'll tell you an anecdote! In 1975, I was catching the London train from Crewe station. It was very crowded, I found myself in a last minute rush for the one remaining seat with a tall good-looking man with collar-length hair. It was the '70s. Buckaroo. When I sat down on the chair, I looked up and realized it was none other than Peter Purves. It was at the height of his \"Blue Peter\" fame! He said, \"You jammy bastard\" and quick as a flash I replied \"Don't be blue, Peter\". Needless to say, I had the last laugh. Now f'ck off!", "dialogue": "That's fair enough. So you don't think I can tell anecdotes? Can you just pop that down for a second. Right! I'll tell you an anecdote! In 1975, I was catching the London train from Crewe station. It was very crowded, I found myself in a last minute rush for the one remaining seat with a tall good-looking man with collar-length hair. It was the '70s. Buckaroo. When I sat down on the chair, I looked up and realized it was none other than Peter Purves. It was at the height of his \"Blue Peter\" fame! He said, \"You jammy bastard\" and quick as a flash I replied \"Don't be blue, Peter\". Needless to say, I had the last laugh. Now f'ck off!" } ] }, { "id": 195, "title": "Alan is at the factory where his book is being pulped", "order_in_episode": 18, "image_url": null, "lines": [ { "id": 3532, "line_number": 1, "character": { "id": 1, "first_name": "Alan", "last_name": "Partridge", "full_name": "Alan Partridge" }, "custom_character_name": null, "text": "Hello, Alan Partridge. Coming to see my book being pulped. It's great that I'm actually putting something back. There's a lot of dignity involved. It looks like porridge! Word porridge! There's my book! There's my book!", "dialogue": "Hello, Alan Partridge. Coming to see my book being pulped. It's great that I'm actually putting something back. There's a lot of dignity involved. It looks like porridge! Word porridge! There's my book! There's my book!" } ] } ], "links": { "self": "https://alanpartridgescripts.co.uk/api/v1/episodes/im-alan-partridge/series-2/episode-6-alan-wide-shut.json", "web": "https://alanpartridgescripts.co.uk/im-alan-partridge/series-2/episode-6-alan-wide-shut" } } }